To meet the three wise men, look to the east. They're to be found in Leyton, appropriately enough up Church Road, admittedly just the one wise man rather than a trio but it'll do for now. It's not a long street, barely 100 metres long with just a dozen houses, but it does thankfully have religious connections so I will be able to stretch this write-up to a second paragraph. A terraced loop of three streets was built here between the wars, now one-way with Wiseman Road the last of the three as you drive out. It starts by a non-descript corner shop selling vapes and packaged meats, passes between whitewashed houses and the backs of flats, and ends on a bend at the entrance to the Leyton Business Centre. This is a typical cluster of hireable sheds where businesses like Woodford Dairies, Crystal Patisserie and Wanstead Windows hang out. Eclat Cosmetics might conceivably have made some of their serums with frankincense, but they moved away to Woolwich last year so it's irrelevant now.
You probably get a better idea from above.
You may also have spotted a quirky white building, not quite in Wiseman Road but at the centre of the development nextdoor. This is Etloe House, built 250 years ago when Church Lane was a quiet rural lane dotted with grand houses. Its first owner was Edward Rowe Mores, author of the seminal work A Dissertation Upon English Typographical Founders and Founderies because being nerdily interested in typefaces isn't a new thing. The finicky crenelations and battlements came later. The most famous resident was the first Roman Catholic Bishop of Westminster who used Etloe House as his summer residence between 1858 and 1864, hard though it is today to imagine the location as a bucolic hideaway. His name was Cardinal Nicholas Wiseman, and that's why the street built later across one of his fields is called Wiseman Road.
By 1907 Etloe House had become a convent for the Sisters of the Sacred Hearts of Jesus and Mary, also a laundry for mentally handicapped women, until in the 1970s the sisters moved out to Chigwell and the site became a 44-bed retirement home instead. Pick the right maisonette and you can look out of the window into Wiseman Road, although you're more likely to see three cars plugged into a charging station than three camels and a selection of expensive gifts.
And there's more.
Three Kings Road CR4
This is the corner of Mitcham Common, specifically the northwest corner closest to the town centre where the duckpond is. The two roads that meet here are called Commonside West and Commonside East, and Three Kings Road used to be a track that cut the corner providing a shortcut to the pub. Alas a better road junction was required so in 1982 the council inserted a roundabout and stopped up Three Kings Road completely, which is why I'm showing you a photo of some bird-infested grass where Three Kings Road used to be.
The grass however still goes by the name of Three Kings Piece, a large triangular wedge to the west of the railway line. It's where Mitcham Fair is held each summer, an annual celebration since the 17th century but which relocated here exactly 100 years ago. The pond is also called Three Kings Pond, originally somewhere for livestock to take a drink and carts to wash their wheels, then surrounded by railings to make a scenic feature in the 1910s. It has ducks and geese and Egyptian geese which are actually ducks, some of whom get a bit territorial if you dare to approach, also a heck of a lot of perching pigeons. It's only shallow but it does have an island covered in spindly trees and also a tall post, which on closer inspection is an old pub sign.
Because yes The Three Kings was a pub, and a very old one at that, hence the fact everything nearby is named after it. The current building is MockTudor, a style very much in vogue in 1928 when the 18th century village inn was replaced by this half-timbered high-chimneyed version with increased drinking space. The most famous landlord was Will Poluski, half of a famous Victorian music hall act who performed knockabout comedy alongside his 'straight man' brother. Alas the last pints were pulled in 2004 after which the pub became a Chinese restaurant, and then offices for a computer software company called M3 who once grilled me a very good free sausage.
The pub may have closed and the road may have vanished but Three Kings Piece and Three Kings Pond live on, and if you have any gifts to bring these days you can even catch the bus.
Can we journey further?
Magi Crescent UX3?
Alas no, there is no street called Magi Something, not in London or in any other part of the country. I would have settled for Magill Close, Magister Drive or Magistrates Road but they're in Wokingham, Maldon and Peterborough respectively so they don't count. There is a gift shop opposite Brockley station called Magi Gifts but their Birthing Essential Oils Kit only stretches to sage, spearmint and lavender, not gold, frankincense and myrrh, so best not go there.
