As the world descends inexorably into self-inflicted decline, here's our exclusive list of the best protests in London this month.
The Best Protests in London - February 2017
Wed 1: Article 50 Action - For everyone who can't believe their MP just voted against their conscience (Trafalgar Square, 8pm) Thu 2: Get A Move On! - Why is it taking so long to enact the Will of the People? (Trafalgar Square, 6pm) Fri 3: Impeach Yourself - After a disastrous fortnight, calls for Donald Trump to fall on his sword (Grosvenor Square, 7pm) Sat 4: Ban The Bigots - Standing shoulder to shoulder with the latest religion to be discriminated against (Hyde Park, 2pm) Sun 5: We Hate EU - Condemning the repressive evil of our former European cousins (Westminster Bridge, 11am) Mon 6: End Immigration Now! - Lynch mobs at airports ensure that no unwelcome Americans sneak in (Heathrow, from 9am) Tue 7: Send Them Home! - Hopefully we'll see several people who don't look like us and insult them (Romford, 8pm) Wed 8: February May March - Head down to Whitehall and protest against Theresa the Appeaser (Parliament Square, 6pm) Thu 9: Halal Night - Easily led Britons are encouraged to hurl bricks through kebab shops windows (your local high street, 11pm) Fri 10: Shaking Fists At Clouds - Angry Express readers write their favourite alternative fact on a placard (Embankment, 4pm) Sat 11: Placeholder - Protest against whichever inalienable human right the President rolled back in a tweet this morning (Hyde Park, noon) Sun 12: Orangemen's Parade - Loyalist procession in support of golden boy Donald Trump (HMS Belfast, 3pm) Mon 13: Punch A Nazi - We'll find one, and you can come and bash some sense into him (South Bank, 7pm) Tue 14: Valentine's Love-In - Solidarity with American LGBT citizens whose visas have just been withdrawn (Trafalgar Square, 5pm) Wed 15: Stop Reacting, It Only Encourages Them - A silent stay-at-home protest (7-8pm) Thu 16: I Can't Believe How Much Weetabix Costs - Consumers rally against a sharp rise in inflation (Oxford Street, 10am) Fri 17: FFS - Weary Londoners take to the streets aghast at Trump's latest unbelievably ridiculous decision (Piccadilly, 5pm) Sat 18: Yeah Go On Then - Passive Britons applaud white supremacists because surely they can't be that bad (Embankment, 3pm) Sun 19: A Funeral for Britain - Follow our symbolic hearse as the economy heads inexorably towards disaster (Westminster, 1pm) Mon 20: Candlelight Vigil - In fellowship with our American cousins lost in last week's lone wolf atrocity (Trafalgar Square, 7pm) Tue 21: I Never Voted For This - Selfish Remoaners refuse to recognise they were democratically outnumbered (Embankment, 6pm) Wed 22: American State Visit - The Queen joins protesters on The Mall turning their backs as Trump rolls by (Green Park, 10am) Thu 23: Two Minute Hate: Live on BBC1, Michael Gove invites you to hurl abuse at experts (7.30pm, between The One Show and Eastenders) Fri 24: Bring Back 2016! - Citizens demand a return to brighter more optimistic days (Hampstead Heath, 2pm) Sat 25: CND March - Ten million jittery Britons assemble following yesterday's nuclear codes Twitter debacle (everywhere, 11am) Sun 26: Military Parade - Our new Russian allies drive tanks down The Mall in a show of solidarity and peace (Westminster, 3am) Mon 27: St Brexit's Day - A spontaneous celebration as the Government triggers Article 50 (everywhere, 2pm) Tue 28: Rose-Tinted Street Party - Oh thank God, a bright future awaits us all (Parliament Square, 3pm)