diamond geezer

 Saturday, March 24, 2012

Has it really been three months since I last revealed a selection of pleading emails that PR folk send me? Sorry, yes it has.
How are you? I hope you don't mind me getting in touch, my name is Lucinda and I work for <well known chocolate bar>. We have an exciting and unique event happening in London on <date> which I thought you might be interested in. You will receive VIP treatment and there will be lots of chocolatey goodies for you to enjoy.
Lucinda got no brand-love from me, despite her blatant freebie-dangling.
<Free London newspaper> are searching for writers and bloggers that have got something to say about the Olympics to contribute to our 2012 coverage. With the biggest sporting event to be held in London on the horizon we want to share your opinions and insights with <free London newspaper>’s large audience. Having looked high and low, reviewing blogs and searching out sport professionals, we found your website and would love it if you would like to get involved. Whilst you will not be paid for your posts...
And that's where you lost me, Emma. Me and almost everyone else you emailed. Try employing journalists to write your newspaper.
Good morning, Hope you're well.
I thought you would be interested for Diamond Geezer in how the streets of London have been transformed into a colourful fashion runway, with eight Twiggy-lookalike models, sporting on trend 60s inspired matching outfits in vibrant colours. Accompanying them were 8 '<paint company> dogs' marking a celebration of the brand being named a top 10 Superbrand in the annual release of the rankings, revealed today. Some lovely images attached and some further information below. Hope it's of interest!
Yours was probably the most vacuous non-event press release I've ever been sent, Laura, and that's saying something.
Dear Diamond Geezer,
I’m writing about the possibility of a review of a new book that we at <publishing company> are going to be publishing in March 2012.
Sorry Elizabeth, but I only ever review books that I've bought unprompted using my own money. And the same goes to the author who hoped that, after reviewing his first and second books, I might like a free copy of his third. Not a chance.
Hi there, I was wondering how much you charge for advertising on The Diamond Geezer? I’m looking for a sponsored text link to our client <pest control company> who get rid of pigeons!
My charge is infinite, Liam. I very much doubt you can afford that.
Dear <blank space>,
<Lager brand> here! The <European country> beer brand that has attitude (but doesn’t take itself too seriously - except when it comes to the quality of our beer, of course). We’re really excited about the launch of a new project we’re calling <Lager brand brand>: a new platform for promoting cool projects, inspiring ideas, awesome blogs, creative people, original art... almost anything...
Anyway, while scavenging around and ‘cool – hunting’, we came across your project and we liked it a lot! It fits within the scope of the <Lager brand brand> perfectly. If you feel your Geek Cakes could use some additional promotion, and you’d like people in the coolest spots and bars around the country to discover it, let us know and we’ll put you in the selection.
Because I'm well known for my Geek Cakes aren't I, Mieke? Please take note of PR Communication Rule 1: always check that your mass email spam is correctly personalised before pressing "Send".
Howdy there,
I'm just getting in touch to ask if you're in need of any freelance writers at Diamond Geezer - if so, it'd be an honor to help out and I would love to get involved with any plans should there be space for me... The good news is that I'd be able to offer my services at no charge; the only thing I would ask in return is that I'm able to include a link to a site within the article...
I wonder when you last read one of Izzy's link-laden blogposts without realising it? Not here you didn't.

Alex sent me a generic email request about a competition involving <TV company>, <major exhibition> and <famous gardener>. I declined, politely, which seemed to perplex her somewhat...
Many apologies – but you are listed on Gorkana, the media resource and contacts database. I will remove you from our internal list.
Gorkana, it turns out, are a kind of dating company for time-poor PR account managers, offering specialist contact details for a price. Allegedly their "blog and blogger profiles are rigorously researched" and include "top tips including specific PR opportunities and how they prefer to be approached". Alas, they haven't spotted I prefer not to be approached at all. I wouldn't waste your money on a Gorkana subscription if I were you.

So this message repeats. If you're a press officer or marketing guru with an advertorial email ready to send, do me a favour and don't bother. Because I DO NOT PROMOTE ANY STUFF YOU SEND TO ME. Please, stop wasting your time, and bin your promotional message before I do.

<< click for Newer posts

click for Older Posts >>

click to return to the main page

...or read more in my monthly archives
Jan17  Feb17
Jan16  Feb16  Mar16  Apr16  May16  Jun16  Jul16  Aug16  Sep16  Oct16  Nov16  Dec16
Jan15  Feb15  Mar15  Apr15  May15  Jun15  Jul15  Aug15  Sep15  Oct15  Nov15  Dec15
Jan14  Feb14  Mar14  Apr14  May14  Jun14  Jul14  Aug14  Sep14  Oct14  Nov14  Dec14
Jan13  Feb13  Mar13  Apr13  May13  Jun13  Jul13  Aug13  Sep13  Oct13  Nov13  Dec13
Jan12  Feb12  Mar12  Apr12  May12  Jun12  Jul12  Aug12  Sep12  Oct12  Nov12  Dec12
Jan11  Feb11  Mar11  Apr11  May11  Jun11  Jul11  Aug11  Sep11  Oct11  Nov11  Dec11
Jan10  Feb10  Mar10  Apr10  May10  Jun10  Jul10  Aug10  Sep10  Oct10  Nov10  Dec10 
Jan09  Feb09  Mar09  Apr09  May09  Jun09  Jul09  Aug09  Sep09  Oct09  Nov09  Dec09
Jan08  Feb08  Mar08  Apr08  May08  Jun08  Jul08  Aug08  Sep08  Oct08  Nov08  Dec08
Jan07  Feb07  Mar07  Apr07  May07  Jun07  Jul07  Aug07  Sep07  Oct07  Nov07  Dec07
Jan06  Feb06  Mar06  Apr06  May06  Jun06  Jul06  Aug06  Sep06  Oct06  Nov06  Dec06
Jan05  Feb05  Mar05  Apr05  May05  Jun05  Jul05  Aug05  Sep05  Oct05  Nov05  Dec05
Jan04  Feb04  Mar04  Apr04  May04  Jun04  Jul04  Aug04  Sep04  Oct04  Nov04  Dec04
Jan03  Feb03  Mar03  Apr03  May03  Jun03  Jul03  Aug03  Sep03  Oct03  Nov03  Dec03
 Jan02  Feb02  Mar02  Apr02  May02  Jun02  Jul02 Aug02  Sep02  Oct02  Nov02  Dec02 

eXTReMe Tracker
jack of diamonds
life viewed from london e3

email    twitter    G+

my flickr photostream

What's on this month?
28 Jan – 23 Apr (10am-4.30pm)
Sussex Modernism
The sixth annual exhibition at Two Temple Place focuses on radical art/writing in Sussex, and is damned excellent.

twenty blogs
ian visits
blue witch
city metric
the great wen
edith's streets
spitalfields life
in the aquarium
round the island
wanstead meteo
london museums
christopher fowler
ruth's coastal walk
london reconnections
dirty modern scoundrel

quick reference features
Things to do in Outer London
The DG Tour of Britain
Comment Value Hierarchy

read the archive
Feb17  Jan17
Dec16 Nov16  Oct16  Sep16
Aug16  Jul16  Jun16  May16
Apr16  Mar16  Feb16  Jan16
Dec15  Nov15  Oct15  Sep15
Aug15  Jul15  Jun15  May15
Apr15  Mar15  Feb15  Jan15
Dec14  Nov14  Oct14  Sep14
Aug14  Jul14  Jun14  May14
Apr14  Mar14  Feb14  Jan14
Dec13  Nov13  Oct13  Sep13
Aug13  Jul13  Jun13  May13
Apr13  Mar13  Feb13  Jan13
Dec12  Nov12  Oct12  Sep12
Aug12  Jul12  Jun12  May12
Apr12  Mar12  Feb12  Jan12
Dec11  Nov11  Oct11  Sep11
Aug11  Jul11  Jun11  May11
Apr11  Mar11  Feb11  Jan11
Dec10  Nov10  Oct10  Sep10
Aug10  Jul10  Jun10  May10
Apr10  Mar10  Feb10  Jan10
Dec09  Nov09  Oct09  Sep09
Aug09  Jul09  Jun09  May09
Apr09  Mar09  Feb09  Jan09
Dec08  Nov08  Oct08  Sep08
Aug08  Jul08  Jun08  May08
Apr08  Mar08  Feb08  Jan08
Dec07  Nov07  Oct07  Sep07
Aug07  Jul07  Jun07  May07
Apr07  Mar07  Feb07  Jan07
Dec06  Nov06  Oct06  Sep06
Aug06  Jul06  Jun06  May06
Apr06  Mar06  Feb06  Jan06
Dec05  Nov05  Oct05  Sep05
Aug05  Jul05  Jun05  May05
Apr05  Mar05  Feb05  Jan05
Dec04  Nov04  Oct04  Sep04
Aug04  Jul04  Jun04  May04
Apr04  Mar04  Feb04  Jan04
Dec03  Nov03  Oct03  Sep03
Aug03  Jul03  Jun03  May03
Apr03  Mar03  Feb03  Jan03
Dec02  Nov02  Oct02  Sep02
back to main page

the diamond geezer index
2016 2015 2014 2013 2012 2011 2010 2009 2008 2007 2006 2005 2004 2003 2002

my special London features
a-z of london museums
E3 - local history month
greenwich meridian (N)
greenwich meridian (S)
the real eastenders
london's lost rivers
olympic park 2007
great british roads
oranges & lemons
random boroughs
bow road station
high street 2012
river westbourne
trafalgar square
capital numbers
east london line
lea valley walk
olympics 2005
regent's canal
square routes
silver jubilee
unlost rivers
cube routes
capital ring
river fleet

ten of my favourite posts
the seven ages of blog
my new Z470xi mobile
five equations of blog
the dome of doom
chemical attraction
quality & risk
london 2102
single life
april fool

ten sets of lovely photos
my "most interesting" photos
london 2012 olympic zone
harris and the hebrides
betjeman's metro-land
marking the meridian
tracing the river fleet
london's lost rivers
inside the gherkin
seven sisters

just surfed in?
here's where to find...
diamond geezers
flash mob #1  #2  #3  #4
ben schott's miscellany
london underground
watch with mother
cigarette warnings
digital time delay
wheelie suitcases
war of the worlds
transit of venus
top of the pops
old buckenham
ladybird books
acorn antiques
digital watches
outer hebrides
olympics 2012
school dinners
pet shop boys
west wycombe
bletchley park
george orwell
big breakfast
clapton pond
san francisco
children's tv
east enders
trunk roads
little britain
credit cards
jury service
big brother
jubilee line
number 1s
titan arum
doctor who
blue peter
peter pan
feng shui
leap year
bbc three
vision on
ID cards