A brand new London bus route started yesterday, the 456. In normal times today's post would therefore be thrilling reportage of a backstreet ride from Crews Hill to Edmonton, but alas Enfield is off limits so you'll have to wait. In the meantime please note that the 456 is a metamorphosis of the former W10, an insignificant service that used to be London's second rarest bus route, which is an excellent excuse to update the new top 10.
London's ten rarest bus routes*
* scheduled TfL buses, in one direction, ordered by weekly frequency (no school journeys, no mobility services)
1)347Romford → Upminster → Ockendon
The 347 runs ever so occasionally along country lanes that scrape London's eastern boundary. A few cottages outside Harold Wood and some farms beyond the M25 benefit from its existence - the ultimate example of TfL's public service ethos. It's a very long wait if you miss one... although there are rural communities outside the capital who'd think "every two hours" was a magnificent service. Mon-Fri 4 buses, Sat 4 buses; weekly total 24 buses
2)389Barnet → Western Way 3)399Barnet → Hadley Wood
The 299 bus runs regularly between Muswell Hill and Cockfosters. Once the morning rush hour is over one vehicle flips its blind to become a 399 and nips round Hadley Wood to the shops in Barnet. Here it flips its blind again to become a 389 for the eight minute trip to the Underhill estate. Then it's eight minutes back to Barnet, and flip back to 399, and back to Hadley Wood, and flip back to being a 389 again. And repeat, but only until until the evening peak - both services are all sewn up by 3pm. Flipping infrequent. Mon-Fri 5/6 buses, Sat 5/6 buses; weekly total 30/36 buses
3)385Chingford → Crooked Billet
When they say Crooked Billet they really mean the big Sainsbury's close to what used to be Walthamstow Stadium. The 385 exists solely so TfL can claim that people living along the eastern edge of the Lea Valley reservoirs have a bus service (even if it is a bit sparse and packs up by 4pm). Mon-Fri 6 buses, Sat 6 buses; weekly total 36 buses
3)R10Orpington ← Knockholt ← Orpington (circular) 6)R5Orpington → Knockholt → Orpington (circular)
The southeast corner of London is remarkably rural, green and villagey. These minor routes penetrate the border with Kent, serving Cudham on the London side and Halstead on the other, via a variety of other obscure non-urban locations. The R10 goes one way round the big loop while the R5 goes the other, slightly more often. The 150 minute gap between services is the longest of any TfL bus route. Mon-Fri 6/7 buses, Sat 6/7 buses; weekly total 36/42 buses
6)H3Golders Green → Hilltop → Golders Green (circular)
The H3 minibus meanders round Hampstead Garden Village to the north of the Heath, along long residential roads where every householder owns a car. It pauses at the Spaniards Inn, nips up to East Finchley station, turns round beneath East Finchley Cemetery and then heads all the way back again. You probably wouldn't (and after 3pm, you can't). Mon-Fri 7 buses, Sat 7 buses; weekly total 42 buses
8)375Romford → Havering-atte-Bower → Passingford Bridge
Back to Romford for London's only one-and-a-half-hourly bus, introduced in 2008 as part-replacement for an Arriva service that linked Romford to Epping. The 375 trots infrequently to the edge of London, continues to the first practical turning point at Passingford Bridge and then heads back to Romford again. It no longer connects to anywhere useful but keeps the edge of Havering ticking over. Mon-Fri 9 buses, Sat 9 buses; weekly total 54 buses
9)N113Trafalgar Square → Brent Cross → Edgware
The N113 was introduced in 2012 as a parallel service to the N13, running to Edgware rather than Finchley, introducing an overnight service to the A41 corridor for the first time. It's the only N-prefixed bus to run just eight times a night. (The N28, N31, N33, N65, N72 and N250 run nine times, so they'd be joint eleventh) Mon-Fri 8 buses, Sat 8 buses, Sun 8 buses; weekly total 56 buses
10)X68Russell Square → West Norwood → West Croydon
Finishing off the top 10 is Central London's only express service. Eight buses into town during the morning peak and eight back again in the evening make for a unique commuting experience. Every Londoner with a keen interest in transport should probably give the X68 a go, if only the once. Mon-Fri 12 buses; weekly total 60 buses
