I understand some readers weren't especially interested in yesterday's post.
Today I offer five different posts in the hope that nobody feels the need to complain again.
Is this London's most fractional speed limit?
Drivers entering Ruxley Manor are asked not to exceed 4¾mph. This seems an extraordinarily precise request.
Speed limits are normally a multiple of 5 and invariably whole numbers, so to request just under 5mph seems plain weird. Most cars can't register non-integer speeds anyway, and even on a dial the necessary nuance is impossible to distinguish.
The 4¾mph limit may be to encourage drivers to stay below 5mph. It may be a joke. It may be because the pedestrian approach to Ruxley Manor is dangerously substandard because the owners refuse to make room for pavements. It's not a metric conversion thing because 4.75mph = 7.64kmh which is even more fractional.
Whatever, I can't think of any other speed limit anywhere that's even "something and a half miles an hour", let alone this absurd "and three quarters".
DLR rolling stock debacle shortens more trains
Dozens of new DLR trains were meant to be in operation by now, their chief purpose to replace old rolling stock and increase capacity. Alas only three have made it into passenger service and they've since been withdrawn as a precautionary measure due to a braking issue in wet weather. This is becoming more of an issue because 18 of the oldest DLR units have already been sent for scrap and the remainder are almost life-expired, so TfL are trying to squeeze as much use out of them as possible.
In July all Stratford to Beckton trains were cut from the timetable, resulting in 10 minute gaps on the Beckton branch, and the frequency of trains between Stratford and Canary Wharf was reduced. These were meant to be temporary measures introduced to coincide with the start of the summer holidays, but five months later they're still in place. And now we have a new cut.
Trains between Bank and Lewisham are to be reduced in length from three carriages to two over Christmas and the New Year. TfL's official advice is to "allow extra time for your journey as trains may be busier than normal", also to consider travelling off-peak where possible. This sacrifice will help preserve the remaining time buffer on the oldest trains, but is also an admission of how close we're getting to not having enough rolling stock to run a safe timetable. Pray that any operational issues with the new turquoise trains are sorted soon, else more 'temporary' reductions in service will be needed before things get better.
Christmas at Ruxley Manor
Readers in southeast London and northwest Kent may be familiar with Ruxley Manor, the super-duper garden-centre-cum-retail-village on the Maidstone Road that's a massive draw at any time but especially at Christmas. Every autumn they clear out their usual stock and go all out on flogging festive goods across umpteen departments, and the hordes descend. Yes they sell Christmas trees but also Christmas gonks, warm white LED squirrels and Yoda-shaped infinity mirrors. Yes they have thousands of baubles but also winter-wrapped woodland creatures, microlight pinecones and faux china gingerbread houses. It's entirely superfluous and it's all being snapped up by beaming suburban folk with surplus cash to burn.
One highlight is the model railway layout bedecked with snow and miniature cottages, complete with two perspex domes where small children can creep under the table and pop up in the middle. It looks enchanting but is really a sales pitch to sell Lemax Christmas Villages, a twee nostalgic world assembled from collectable buildings including a Pop-Up Christmas Cookie Shop (£34.99), Santa Carousel (£79.99) and Ludwig's Wooden Nutcracker Factory (£99.99). Elsewhere the gold twist reindeer come with an exhortation to "consider lighting up your front drive", and if anything doesn't illuminate there's probably a more expensive version that does.
This is mainstream pickings for the outer suburbs, also catnip for those who only come to browse and admire. I can well imagine traipsing round something similar on the edge of Norwich. But the more I explored the more I sighed at the enormous amounts being frittered away on festive fripperies, and wondered what that money could provide if it were spent on something more useful. One can only admire Ruxley Manor's business sense, but if you ever need evidence that some people could afford to be taxed more without damaging their standard of living, you only need to head to the outskirts of London in December. And try not to come home with a Pre-Lit Snowy Yule Log or a Mains-Powered Bratwurst Market Kiosk.
What are boys called these days?
Sourced from the selection of names on the rack of personalised die-cast lorries at Ruxley Manor.
On Friday the Mayor made a big splash launching a new high-capacity electric ferry crossing between Rotherhithe and Canary Wharf.
It's his replacement for an over-optimistic footbridge that was never going to be built because it would have been cripplingly expensive. Now we have a new ferry and a new pier at less than 10% of the price, shuttling across the river every 10 minutes just like its diesel predecessor. This one's got space for 100 bikes, which is approximately the number that use the free Silvertown cycle bus every day so let's hope some cyclists actually turn up. I turned up.
Alas it wasn't running, the previous boat was. Apparently the electric vessel "will be progressively phased into operation, with full operation and exclusivity of the route targeted for Spring 2026." And they haven't even started route-sharing yet because, according to Tom Edwards, "the electric ferry will start carrying passengers early in 2026 after crew training." Maybe the Mayor should have launched it next year instead, because nobody'll be catching it yet.
