Hour 1 0:00 Just by standing outside Romford station I can tick off HAVERING (1). 0:06Chadwell Heath is an excellent station for borough-visiting. The ticket hall is in REDBRIDGE (2) and the pavement outside is in BARKING & DAGENHAM (3) 0:28 I continue west via Crossrail to Forest Gate which is in NEWHAM (4). The smell of baked goods from the Hovis factory is very pleasant. It's only a short walk up the road to Wanstead Park to join the Suffragette line. 0:48 A simple switch at Blackhorse Road, stepping out into WALTHAM FOREST (5) to admire the black horse mosaic. Then disaster strikes - the Victoria line is part suspended and the next train is 30 minutes away! The platform is full of confused passengers wishing a member of station staff would make a useful announcement. The next train is now 39 minutes away! An automated message urges everyone to take care because surfaces may be wet. The next train is now 32 minutes away! (thankfully the display was lying and the next train was only 3 minutes away, but phew that could have wrecked everything) 0:56 Everyone changing between tube and rail at Tottenham Hale has to step out through a gateline into HARINGEY (6). It's been a profitable first hour.
Hour 2 1:14ENFIELD (7) is the first annoying borough requiring an 'out and back' train journey. But I've got very lucky with timings because a half-hourly train to Meridian Water is due. The new station is still surrounded by empty space containing hardly any flats. 1:32 The Victoria line remains buggered but I can still get a train to Finsbury Park. This is in ISLINGTON (8), and simply by crossing two roads I can spend a few seconds in HACKNEY (9). 1:42 All change at Highbury & Islington for the Mildmay line. Grrr, it's a maximum 9 minute wait.
Hour 3 2:12 Alight at Brondesbury because that's in BRENT (10). 2:13 Cross the road because that's in CAMDEN (11). Then cross back and catch a 189 bus to Cricklewood. 2:20 Great, that's done BARNET (12). Now all I need is a quick bus to Willesden Town, five minutes max. 2:21 Aaaagh the 460 bus is on diversion. The announcement doesn't say where to and dinging the bell to alight has no effect. Oh god we're going back towards where I just came from. I check an app and it turns out the diversion is an extra two miles because of a burst water main. The bus would eventually have reached Willesden Town but thankfully I manage to persuade the driver to drop me at Kilburn instead. Bullet dodged. 2:54 Finally up the Metropolitan line to Harrow-on-the-Hill in HARROW (13).
Hour 4 3:05 Switch from a Watford train to an Uxbridge train. I have to go as far as Eastcote to enter HILLINGDON (14), one of today's tougher boroughs. 3:15 I just missed a Piccadilly line train at Eastcote so I have to wait for the next one at Rayners Lane. 3:39Acton Town is another useful borough-ticking station because immediately outside is EALING (15) and just round the corner is HOUNSLOW (16). 3:55Hammersmith, obviously, is in HAMMERSMITH & FULHAM (17). Hurrah, I'm finally halfway and it's only taken four hours.
Hour 5 4:06RICHMOND (18) is a bit of a pain, so I've chosen to visit it by walking across Hammersmith Bridge and then straight back again, all on foot. 4:24 District line to Earl's Court, walk out onto the street to get KENSINGTON & CHELSEA (19). Then re-enter station and walk straight onto a Wimbledon train, perfect. 4:43 Nip out at Southfields to get WANDSWORTH (20). I could have nipped out at East Putney but I was at the front of the train. 4:53 A productive run ends at Wimbledon for MERTON (21). Now for the last annoying 'out and back'.
Hour 6 5:05KINGSTON (22) can't be done on a TfL train so I've boarded a Hampton Court train to New Malden. The high street still has poppies on some lampposts. 5:37 And back to Wimbledon to catch the tram, which is by far the easiest way to visit SUTTON (23). I pick Beddington Lane but could have picked Therapia Lane instead. 5:53 The tram is obviously ideal for CROYDON (24), in this case West Croydon. I've got lucky because a Southern train to Victoria is in the platform.
Hour 7 6:15 Up the very long staircase at Crystal Palace for BROMLEY (25), then back down the very long staircase for an Overground train. 6:30 I've got lucky again because another Southern train is right behind us, so nip out at Forest Hill for LEWISHAM (26), then nip back in. 6:54 I've reached London Bridge just as the rush hour begins, but thankfully everyone's going the other way. That's SOUTHWARK (27) done and only six more boroughs to go.
Hour 8 7:05 An easy one-stop ride to Waterloo East, then a bit of a hike to neighbouring Waterloo to get LAMBETH (28). I'd prefer to catch the Waterloo & City line but unfortunately I still have to go to Westminster first. 7:15 One stop on the Sponsored Lager line takes me to Embankment (where yes they've fixed the incorrect map). Poke my head briefly above ground for WESTMINSTER (29). 7:32 Change from the Northern line to Crossrail at Tottenham Court Road and hop along to Farringdon. The quickest way up to the CITY OF LONDON (30) is at the Barbican end. 7:42 What I should have done at Canary Wharf is stop and come up for air. But I've already been to TOWER HAMLETS (31) because I live there, so I awarded myself a free pass for that one. 7:58 The Elizabeth line terminates at Abbey Wood which is convenient because the station straddles my last two boroughs. The street outside is in BEXLEY (32), and if you walk just round the corner before the Post Office you enter GREENWICH (33). And that's a two minute walk so my All Boroughs Odyssey has taken eight hours precisely.
I'm sure eight hours is beatable although I wasn't aiming for a record, just hoping to get to the finish. It was a 'slippery surface' day across the London transport network anyway. I nearly had very bad luck with line closures and bus diversions but on the whole my planned route worked out pretty well, with only a few changes of plan when an unexpected train offered a fresh alternative. Also I walked seven miles, climbed the equivalent of 70 flights of stairs and read two-thirds of a novel so I wasn't completely wasting my time.
I don't recommend trying to visit every London borough in one day because it's a bit knackering and ultimately pointless. But I have now completed an extraordinary achievement, and best of all I have no need to ever do it again.
