Crystal Palace has an amazing subway. Wow, just look at those pillars! All this lies just beneath the main road where you can't see it. Actually you can see it at monthly open days and there was one yesterday. A lot of people walked round and took lots of photos and went wow. The results of Stage 1 of the restoration project are certainly impressive.
The news for retired people
Doing much on Tuesdays? Thought not. Well now you can fill your gaping weekday void with a trip to the amazing Crystal Palace Subway. You'll need to book a free ticket online before you go so hopefully your inkjet printer still works. It's in Crystal Palace very close to the bus station. The opening hours are 11am-1pm so don't worry, you can use your freebie travelcard to get here. Sorry no lifts, but the two long staircases do have handrails. The Crystal Palace Park Trust are painfully aware that the site isn't step-free and are trying to do something about it, but squeezing lifts into a heritage Victorian structure is both expensive and administratively difficult. Also no refreshments, but given there are no toilets that's probably just as well.
Crystal Palace (Low Level) station was opened by the WEL&CPR on 10th June 1854 to cater for traffic to the newly relocated Crystal Palace. Services were operated by the LBSCR. Pax faced a steep climb to reach the summit of Sydenham Hill so the LCDR promoted the CPSLJR to construct a branch from Peckham Rye via Nunhead to a new terminal station above the park. Crystal Palace (High Level) station opened on 1st August 1865 with four platforms optimised for mass arrivals, linked via subway to the main attraction. The station was renamed Crystal Palace High Level and Upper Norwood on 1st November 1898. In 1925 the branch was electrified as part of an SR scheme with trains operating every 20 minutes to Holborn Viaduct. Traffic dropped considerably after the palace was destroyed by fire 1936 and the spur line closed permanently on 20th September 1954, since when nothing of any interest has happened.
The news for photographers
The subway is patently photogenic. You really can't go wrong with a symmetrical Byzantine-style fan-vaulted ceiling with tiled brick pillars. It's really all a case of where to stand to frame the perfect shot. Arguably you want orthogonal for the perfect horizontal composition but arguably an oblique shot across multiple pillars works best. Almost certainly you want the better-lit eastern flank unless you prefer the more atmospheric gloom of the west side. Landscape rather than portrait, obviously. But oh my word trying to get the money shot is frustrating! In an appalling lapse of protocol other people are allowed to walk around the subway willy-nilly and they're forever getting in the way. You line up an appealing angle and then some imbecile lumbers into shot and lingers, ruining everything. Your viewfinder may look clear but there's always some berk ready to stick an arm in or, worse still, the appearance of a group of dodderers with no realisation that you'd really like them to move on. Why do tourist attractions insist on allowing commoners with smartphones into photogenic spaces without impressing on them the importance of holding back for the professionals?
The news for clickbait
Secrets don't come much bigger than a creepy crypt in Crystal Palace that literally nobody has heard of. What on earth am I going on about, right? Well, folks – grab yourselves a cuppa, make yourselves comfy, and allow me to explain. The Crystal Palace Subway is an actual subway that connects a station that isn't there any more to a glass palace that isn't there any more, how bonkers is that! Whiskery Londoners would once take day trips here, rather than heading to The Picturesque Market Town Near London That Has Just Been Named The Most Desirable Place To Live In Britain. And to cross the main road they used a subway that looks like a caliphate's brothel from Mission Impossible 5, exiting via secret tunnels that amazingly are still there! Who knew?
The news for event organisers
Got a wedding coming up, or a drinks reception in need of a unique setting? Then why not consider the Crystal Palace Subway, the newly-renovated heritage space not just on the edge of zone 3 but technically under it too. This unique event platform was formerly a fleeting underpass for Victorian daytrippers but because it's got an amazing roof it accidentally creates the perfect all-weather venue for your next bespoke gathering. Admittedly the impressive end is quite dark and leaks a bit, but it's OK because big money has been spent on a new roof over the outside bit so you could comfortably host a concert or a cocktail party here now. Book today!
The news for would-be volunteers
Open days at the Crystal Palace Subway rely on the goodwill of members of the Friends of Crystal Palace Subway and the Crystal Palace Park Trust. Join them and you too could attend in a coloured tabard, guiding visitors towards points of interest and explaining the sites history over and over again. You could also get involved in the ongoing renovation project, perhaps raising funds or maybe trying to work out where the water ingress is coming from (as was pretty obvious during yesterday's downpours). It's generous amazing people like this who improve the cultural fabric of our capital and give the rest of us somewhere pretty to photograph for fifteen minutes. Next opportunity 17th February... which is another Tuesday sorry.
