7♣ Woolwich It's week seven of my year-long project, and so far all my visits have been confined to three distinct geographical clusters. Today I'm heading back to riverside southeast London, to the former Metropolitan Borough of Woolwich, which since 1900 had been the most stuck-out part of the County of London. It comprised the southern and eastern parts of the current Royal Borough of Greenwich, plus an anomalous bump north of the Thames around North Woolwich. I've chosen to walk an elevated footpath between Plumstead and Thamesmead - the Ridgeway - because criminally I never have before. And, golly.
The Ridgeway(2½ miles)
Every time you flush your toilet across a large part of South London, your bowlsworth makes its way through a network ofVictorian sewers to the sewage treatment works at Crossness. At Plumstead the tributary sewers combine and rise above ground before heading in a straight line across the marshes, which were almost entirely undeveloped when Joseph Bazalgette delivered his plan in the 1860s. It was only in 1991 that Thames Water decided to open up the embankment covering the Southern Outfall Sewer to pedestrians and cyclists, adding arched entrances and motorbike-proof gates to create an elevated promenade from Plumstead to the sewage works. It's very similar to the Greenway atop the Northern Outfall Sewer in Newham, except this southern twin has been named the Ridgeway.
The western entrance lurks unappealingly down a spiral ramp beyond a concrete flyover opposite Plumstead station. Here to welcome you are a tipped-up traffic cone and several split bags of rubbish, but don't let that put you off proceeding along the edge of a self-storage depot and up a zigzag to the sewertop. Greenwich council realised the Ridgeway had an image problem back in 2014, and have recently completed an upgrade of access points, signage and surfacing. The path used to be grassed and occasionally boggy, but is now a wider gravelled stripe stretching off in to the distance, and far more likely somewhere you might take for a shortcut.
The main plus point of a walk on a major sewer is being six metres higher than the surrounding landscape. This means an enhanced view of southeast London, specifically Plumstead, more specifically the semi-industrialised sector to the east of Plumstead, which it has to be said is more atmospheric than pretty. Down to the right is a Crossrail worksite with stacked sleepers and corrals of coiled cable, plus a car spares unit intriguingly named Megabug. Down to the left are auto repair centres, levelled warehouses, and the HQ of England's oldest drinking water cooler specialist. And that brick fortress you can see nudging up beyond is Belmarsh prison, behind whose walls Jeffrey Archer and numerous other high risk male prisoners have been confined.
Blimey, this path is straight. There are also very few access points, meaning the next set of steep steps down to reality can be some distance away, adding to a general feeing of unease. Greenwich's latest upgrade has addressed this by installing a series of security cameras along the way, whopping great monsters on thick black poles, ruthlessly scanning the neighbourhood for misdemeanour. Some have a button at footpath level labelled Help Point, which you can press if a hooded knifeman or pack of feral Staffies approach too close, although during half term the biggest risk is being brushed aside by a phalanx of pre-adolescent cyclists.
White Hart Avenue is the first of only three roads which cross the Ridgeway, this via a flyover, providing a welcome breakpoint. On the far side stands the Plumstead phone mast, and a three-storey block marking the walk's first residential outpost on the edge of the Abbey Road Estate. Sewell Road runs parallel to the sewer all the way up to the borough boundary, faced by outstandingly ordinary flats and terraced houses, and with sets of battered garages nudged up against the embankment. On the opposite side are Greenwich's recycling centre and dustcart depot, because why wouldn't you hide these in Thamesmead, before the Western Way dual carriageway sidles up and roars behind a screen of poplars.
At regular intervals a small square concrete platform hangs out to the side of the embankment, originally constructed to provide access to inspection hatches, now part-fenced with railings lest anyone get the wrong idea and jump. Aside from this the banks are steep and often brambly, suggesting considerable potential for autumn harvest, with discarded cans and clothing chucked in for good measure. But hang on, the chain of security cameras has suddenly ceased, as if Greenwich council ran out of money or wasn't interested in surveilling the residential section, so for the half mile beyond the pumping station you are completely on your own. Thankfully I only met a well-behaved hound and a couple of tokers, so I was fine.
Harrow Manorway marks the dividing line between Greenwich and Bexley, originally an invisible north-south boundary across the marshes, now more administratively significant. The Ridgeway skulks beneath a low concrete slab to enter the centre of the roundabout above, where a swirly blue sculpture has been placed to provide a moment of wonder. Local residents generally disregard the sewertop path, despite two welcoming arches, preferring to cut straight across the Eastern Way footbridge or down past the library on more useful journeys. By rights I shouldn't be going any further either, because the remainder of the walk takes me out of my chosen borough, but I needed to see this through.
The Bexley section of the Ridgeway is very different, because it's what the entire elevated footpath used to look like before Greenwich threw some money at their end. That means it's all grass, not wheel-friendly gravel, with a narrow perhaps-underused track worn down the middle. Past the shell of the Lakeside Bar someone's been hard at work hacking away all the trees and undergrowth on one side, leaving a barren bank and an open vista down to the shores of Thamesmead's big lake. I've walked around Southmere several times without ever realising this sewertop walk was here, as I suspect have many others.
But the elevated section doesn't last long. At Eastern Way the pipes duck beneath the viaduct with almost no headroom, perhaps just enough to crawl, while the main path slopes down to one side and all useful signage unhelpfully disappears. The way ahead is broad but messy, littered with cans and ashes and several telltale piles of horse dung. Close by is a notice stuck up on behalf of Thames Water warning that any horses or ponies grazing on this site last weekend would be removed and either rehomed or sold at auction - a warning that must have been either enacted or heeded. Meanwhile up at the top of the bank is the main entrance to the Crossness treatment works, which is another reason why the footpath can no longer follow the pipes.
So the walk ends with a peculiar shunt through a gap in the fence to follow the edge of a landscaped open space. If it looks contoured and scenic, that's because it used to be a 9 hole golf course until economic reality caught up with this Thamesmead fantasy back in 2014. It's a bit muddy to start, but the willowy pools have matured nicely, and I loved watching a heron swooping up from the large pond and circling overhead. One last archway leads out to the Thames, roughly opposite Ford's Dagenham works, where the Ridgeway path concludes. Head left for Thamesmead and 'civilisation', or right for a walk past the sewage works... which is absolutely fascinating, but not for here.
For four weeks last Autumn, a TfL trial tracked the movements of millions of WiFi users at 54 tube stations. All the data was anonymised, and no browsing activity was recorded, but a mammoth amount of information was gathered about how passengers travel on the Underground. You can read James's in-depth analysis of the outcomes of their study here, thanks to an FoI request, whether you're standing on a underground platform or not.
But what might be the eventual outcome of having your location monitored while you're travelling on the tube. Might a future journey go something like this?
» Beep beep! Welcome to Bow Road station Mr Geezer, we're pleased to see you back.
» Beep beep! Have you considered going back outside and buying a coffee from Bean Around Town?
» Beep beep! Don't forget to pick up a copy of Metro from behind the door. You'll never guess what Beyoncé did last night!
» Beep beep! There is a good service operating on all London Underground lines, so come on through!
» Beep beep! Sheesh, are you still using Oyster? Contactless is fab, you should try it.
» Beep beep! Turn left at the top of the stairs. We know you know this, but we're just showing off.
» Beep beep! Perhaps you should be watching your step on the stairs rather than reading this.
» Beep beep! The next train's about two minutes away. Sorry, we're not clever enough to be able to display this information on the platform yet.
» Beep beep! There's a really interesting advert further up the platform we think you should go and see. It's about 12 steps to your left.
» Beep beep! Please stand back from the yellow line while waiting on the platform.
» Beep beep! PLEASE STAND BACK FROM THE YELLOW LINE WHILE WAITING ON THE PLATFORM!
» Beep beep! PLEASE STAND... oh, hang on, you're actually on the train now, aren't you?
» Beep beep! The next station is Mile End. Doors will open on the left hand side. Step-free access is not available at this station.
» Beep beep! Hey, we've arrived at Mile End. Assuming you're making your usual journey, you'll want to change here.
» Beep beep! Thank you for travelling on the District line.
» Beep beep! The next train to Ealing Broadway will arrive in two minutes.
» Beep beep! Two minutes is enough time to watch this hilarious video from our friends at LockedRoomChallenge.com buff.ly/t80a5u2
» Beep beep! If you nudge three steps to your right, you'll be standing almost in front of the doors when the train arrives.
» Beep beep! You could make this journey by Uber in 45 minutes for just £11.50 (sponsor)
» Beep beep! There are seats in the rear carriage, but not the cattletruck hellhole whose doors you're about to be standing in front of.
» Beep beep! The train in front of you is for Ealing Broadway. The train behind this one has a lot more space.
» Beep beep! Please move further down inside the carriage. And could you nudge the lady with the enormous rucksack too, thanks?
» Beep beep! Mmmm, maybe consider a Deliveroo takeaway from the Ashanti Bengal in Bethnal Green this evening buff.ly/yw9i4oh
» Beep beep! Why not sign up to our premium service, so you can keep track of where your significant other really goes every morning?
» Beep beep! You are now entering Zone 1. So far this journey has cost you £2.40.
» Beep beep! That woman sitting opposite has been within 10 metres of you on every journey this week. Assuming she's not a relative, how about flirting with her?
» Beep beep! We've just opened a Costa at the foot of the escalators at Liverpool Street. The chocolate brownies are to die for.
» Beep beep! Did you know you're only 10 stops away from London's first cable car, in the opposite direction?
» Beep beep! To turn off notifications, locate the hidden menu on your Oyster app and try to remember your 16-digit passcode. Good luck!
» Beep beep! If you do turn off notifications, expect to be charged 10p more for your journey.
» Beep beep! Alternatively you can opt out by simply turning off your WiFi, but how boring would that be?
» Beep beep! 11 things you didn't know about St Paul's Cathedral buff.ly/2kXSjx2
» Beep beep! Sorry, we lost your wi-fi connection there, just when you were in the process of re-logging back in to check Twitter again.
» Beep beep! You are being held at a red signal and you should be moving shortly.
» Beep beep! That lady standing next to you is pregnant. For heaven's sake offer her your seat.
» Beep beep! You are being held at a red signal and you should be moving shortly.
» Beep beep! Five minutes late? Congratulations! You are now eligible for a 25% refund via our Delay Repay Pledge.
» Beep beep! It looks like you're heading to Oxford Circus. While you're there, don't forget the gorgeous waffle cones at Ponti's Italian cafe buff.ly/c6r42zj
» Beep beep! 17% of people making your journey actually went via Embankment instead. Maybe give that a try next time.
» Beep beep! The next station is Oxford Circus. Doors will open on the left hand side. Step-free access will never be available at this station.
» Beep beep! Thank you for travelling on the Central line.
» Beep beep! Ok, turn left, walk to the end of the platform, take the left fork along the subway and then the escalators are on your right.
» Beep beep! Alternatively, it's really busy up there at the moment, so maybe hold back and look at the adverts on the platform.
» Beep beep! OK, the congestion's cleared, if you want to make a break for it.
» Beep beep! Keep walking to the left of the passageway and you can probably carry on reading that Facebook post without bumping into anyone.
» Beep beep! Could you hurry up a bit please, there are hundreds of people trudging behind you.
» Beep beep! Now look up from your phone, the flashing adverts alongside the escalator are really interesting.
» Beep beep! STAND ON THE RIGHT OR WALK ON THE LEFT! Not what you're doing...
» Beep beep! Take exit 8 for Hamleys, exit 7 for Urban Outfitters or exit 5 for the great Niketown sale.
» Beep beep! Thank you Mr Geezer. We look forward to intruding on your privacy again on the way home.
