K♠ Cheshunt/Enfield Had the Herbert Commission had their way, Cheshunt Urban District would have become part of Greater London, whereas in fact it stayed in Hertfordshire (and is now part of Broxbourne). That leaves Enfield, today the northermost part of the capital, its boundary following the line of the M25. I've been out walking within a mile of the motorway to visit six of the lesser known settlements across the top of Enfield, some of which you might never have known were there. Click on the placenames to read the Hidden London summaries of each.
Beyond Cockfosters the northwestern quarter of the borough of Enfield is mostly fields, and rather attractive fields too. Botany Bay is the single settlement on a long ridgetop road between Potters Bar and Enfield, part of a landscape carved by two tiny brooks to either side, and part of what was once the royal forest of Enfield Chase. It's more hamlet than village, and doesn't stretch as far as a church (although there is a lowly shed called The Shack which local Christians are hoping to turn into a 24/7 prayer venue). At the centre of the string of houses lies the Robin Hood pub, which must rely on passing drivers rather than residents, and whose pre-book festive menu inexplicably runs from 1st November to 31st January. At Botany Bay Farm they're already ready to flog you pumpkins, plus almost-locally sourced sausages for Bonfire Night.
One thing Botany Bay has plenty of is open space, with a cricket club and a rugby club crying out for new members on posters attached to numerous walls and gates. The clubhouse appears to double up as a venue for almost anything, including the North London MG Club (every Monday), Googlies Jazz Supper Club (every Tuesday) and Big Boppa's Rock'N'Roll Club (every Wednesday). East Lodge Lane is very much Beware of the Dog territory, with angry hounds champing behind many a fence should a rare pedestrian walk by. I also surprised a lone pony in the next field, who leapt with brief delight to have company, then switched to indifference when it became clear I had no food.
This garden centre mecca is the northernmost settlement in London, assuming you can spot the houses among the retail sheds. Crews Hill is an entirely atypical location, essentially a collection of horticultural corrals subdivided into smaller units which'll flog you almost anything for your house or garden. Rattan, turf, bonsai, paving, resin, koi, rockery, fireplace, granite, trellis, lantern, sapling, rug, shrubbery, reptile, bench, mirror, decking, gnome, incense, jacket potato - it really is all here. One of the larger sites is a Wyevale, complete with pretend windmill, but most of the other businesses are as independent as they come, perhaps just a shed selling stone cherubs or a hut packed with New Age tat. On spring weekends hundreds queue in their cars to find a parking space, while on autumn weekdays a few pensioners find solace with a hyacinth and cuppa.
Given the nature of the goods on sale arriving by car or van is all important. You don't want to have to rely on the bus (the W10 is the 2nd least frequent bus in London), and while Crews Hill station has a pretty good service, it's also bleak and somewhat poorly used. Venture beneath the railway bridge to discover the eponymous hill and a few gated mansions, plus a golf course advertising several special offers should any individual, group or society fancy a round. But most visitors venture no further than the small business boulevard, perhaps topped off with a lager and an at-scale meal in The Plough, then spend a lot of time in the garden when they get home.
Whitewebbs Lane runs east from Crews Hill, parallel to the M25, and packs several fascinating features into its remote mile and a half run. First up is London's other transport museum, the Whitewebbs Museum of Transport, open Tuesdays and one Sunday a month. Its collection would best be described as eclectic, with various sheds and old vehicles outside and numerous smaller exhibits inside an elegant two-storey building which used to be a pumphouse for the New River. [my previous visit][Ian Visits visit][Londonist visit]
I kept walking, past a smallholding guarded by two angry rottweilers, to the edge of Whitewebbs Wood. It's large and dark, and somewhat oppressive, with muddy bridleways to follow should you choose to venture within. Keep going and it morphs into Whitewebbs Park, a slightly less dense patch of woodland almost nobody in Enfield lives anywhere near, complete with tarmac paths and the occasional lake. Half of the former Whitewebbs estate has been given over to a golf course, as is the modern way, but the grand mansion at the centre survives. Initially it was repurposed as a Home For Aged Men, but has recently become London's most architecturally impressive Toby Carvery. Sub-£7 diners feast within its sweeping wings, while the smell of gravy wafts out across the ornamental garden.
The carvery has competition from a 16th century pub back on Whitewebbs Lane, The King and Tinker, which claims to be one of England's oldest pubs. Its name comes from a fabled encounter between James I and a pub regular over an ale, after the incognito King slipped his courtiers after a hunt. As if that's not enough history for one spot, Whitewebbs Farm across the road is the site of a key meeting in the Gunpowder Plot. In October 1605 Guy Fawkes visited the house which used to stand on this site for a meeting with his co-conspirators, to discuss how Catholic peers might be spared the upcoming explosion. An ill-advised letter on the subject later blew their cover, rather than blowing up Parliament. Pop down to The King And Tinker and you can enjoy a pint in the Refreshment Garden's and a jump on the bouncy castle while reflecting on this remote spot's unlikely backstory.
At the eastern end of Whitewebbs Lane, within sight of the M25, a Premiership football team has bedded in. Tottenham Hotspur's training ground used to be a lot further up the A10, but this new state-of-the art site allows them to practice their ball skills in all weathers a little closer to home. Your best chance of catching sight of a top player is at the main gate on Hotspur Way, waiting for the blue and white barrier to raise. Elsewhere the perimeter is securely fenced off with a row of fast-growing shrubs immediately behind to inhibit paparazzi or over-zealous fans.
The hamlet of Bull's Cross can be found surrounding a mini-roundabout close by. It's been here a while. The Pied Bull pub claims it was once owned by James I as a kennel for his hunting dogs, which seems plausible given how much the king enjoyed living at Theobalds Palace close by. Bull's Cross is also home to the agricultural college at Capel Manor, and to Myddleton House, both of which have super-splendid gardens, and both of which I always urge you to visit whenever I write a post about the neighbourhood.
Bullsmoor is less lovely. This residential district is strung out between the new A10 and the old A10, squished into the last gasp of the Lea Valley conurbation before it slips into Hertfordshire. It has a peripherally arterial feel, with unpleasantly wide roads to cross and pylons stalking through the middle, and plenty of petrol stations and drive-thru takeaways to cater for the just-off-the-M25 market. Four separate shops in the local parade take the Bullsmoor name, the most appropriate of which is definitely the Bullsmoor Butchers, although that appeared to be shuttered and closed when I passed by... maybe something to do with its recent rockbottom Food Hygiene rating.
(there is one feature of particular note here, but I'll come back and tell you about that tomorrow, because it deserves a post of its own)
What a fantastic name for a London suburb. Freezywater can be found straddling the Hertford Road, the former A10, immediately to the south of Waltham Cross. It's been here a while too, with several avenues of late Victorian terraces tucked in between the main road and the railway, and some rather tasteful cottage villas scattered within. I searched in vain for the Freezywater Shopping Centre promised on Enfield Council's fading signs, but maybe a betting shop, chippie and Turkish food cash and carry suffice. I did however find a peculiar pocket park with contoured benches and artistic metal gates, apparently called Painters Lane Neighbourhood Park.
Freezywater is named after a marshy pond near the River Lea, which used to ice up in winter, but this disappeared a long time ago when the Rammey Marsh Sewage Works was built in it place. Now this too has vanished, replaced by the Innova Business Park in the late 1990s, a sprawl of distribution warehouses and low-key office units. Its streets have Blairite names like Kinetic Crescent, Velocity Way and Power Drive, a bit rich for the reality, but the central reedy lake is a nice throwback to the original Freezy Water. Enfield Lock station lies nearby, should a fast getaway be required.
I have a cold, and for once I know which complete stranger gave it to me. Thank you Kieran.
We met for two hours on Saturday evening, on the train home from Manchester to London. He had the window seat on the opposite side of the table to mine, as I discovered when I boarded and went hunting for my window seat. It genuinely was a window seat too, unlike on the journey up when I'd had a perfect view of a beige bulwark for the entire journey. My homebound window seat was essentially pointless given that it was dark outside, but I smiled all the same.
I faffed around getting all the necessary stuff out of my pockets and rucksack, stowed my jacket on the rack above, and sat down in my seat. I plugged my phone into the electricity it had been missing, and opened up the prize crossword in case it was actually doable this week. And then Kieran sneezed. Cheers Kieran.
Kieran was a slight lad with lank dark hair, probably in his late teens. His grey shirt and glasses made him look withdrawn and waifish, whereas his blue and white Cartoon Network Dr Marten boots suggested quite the opposite. An attempt at a beard made an advance across his face, still some way off needing a first shave, but still better than anything my cheeks have ever managed. His silver scooter gleamed above us in the luggage rack. And then he sneezed again. It was gong to be a long journey.
It rapidly became clear that Kieran was in the throes of a dispiriting virus. His sneezes were violent, and relatively closely spaced, interspersed with the occasional coughing fit. Kieran seemed a well-brought-up boy, and always attempted to cover his mouth when a respiratory attack emerged. But I could tell that his attempts weren't going to achieve 100% containment, not over the full 140 minutes and here I was sat immediately opposite him in a humid air-conditioned bubble. A Pendolino carriage makes the perfect incubation chamber.
I wondered whether Kieran's journey was really necessary. It's not generally a great idea to deliberately sit in a confined space with dozens of other individuals for two hours if you know you're at a contagious stage of an illness, even one as common as the common cold. Equally if you need to be at the other end of the country and have paid an extortionate amount for your ticket, and would need to spend even more if you travelled at a different time, obviously you're going to take your seat and hope for the best.
It can't have been fun being Kieran on that long journey south. He struggled to get settled, repeatedly interrupted by another involuntary sneeze. He flicked through his Windows Phone for several minutes, and looked pointlessly out of the window. He attempted to get comfortable across a double seat, pulling his coat on top of him and trying to get off to sleep. But every time he almost nodded off his throat jerked into action, and so the cycle repeated, and his misery continued.
I could have moved, but the train was busy and most of the other seats were taken. I could have moved, but I had a table seat and a charging point and they were like gold dust. I could have moved, but the lady sat beside me was fully settled and looked like she was attempting to fall asleep too. I could have moved, but I decided it'd look a bit odd to pack up all my things and then squeeze in next to someone else instead. I could have moved. I didn't move. I accepted my fate.
If you're wondering how I know Kieran's name, it's because he was wearing it on a plastic badge clipped to his belt. It amazes me how so many people these days are happy to display their full name (and often job title and place of employment) in public. I know a lot of workplaces and educational establishments now require their members to be readily identifiable at all times, but surely if you value your privacy you'd take that badge off (or at least turn it over) after stepping outside. Kieran Carter didn't seem to care.
Eventually he dropped off to sleep, lulled by the rocking of the train as it sped south. He managed a good hour, apart from the time he pulled out an inhaler to help him breathe a little more easily, and apart from the time the sneeze came anyway even though he wasn't ready for it. Oh great, I thought, that's settled it. And then I went back to failing at the crossword.
At Euston I was up and out of my seat before Kieran, who was still drifting back into consciousness and discovering how to sneeze again. I made it to the end of the platform before he caught up, scudding along on his silver scooter and overtaking me up the ramp onto the concourse. He swiftly disappeared off to wherever he was going to feel under the weather next, and I resigned myself to viral takeover later in the week.
Sunday passed with no negative health issues, and Monday too. By Tuesday I was beginning to think I'd beaten the odds but early in the evening an abrupt cough emerged, just the once, but a precursor of what surely lay ahead. A sudden sneeze before nightfall seemed to confirm the diagnosis, but nothing else materialised, so that was good.
Yesterday, however, the coughs and sneezes increased in frequency. I also got that queasy feeling you get in your stomach which suggests you're permanently hungry when you know you're not really. My embryonic cold was nowhere near as bad as Kieran had been suffering, but it is slowly ratcheting up in intensity, and this morning I've reached the stage where I'm wondering if what's next is runny sinuses and handkerchief-filling or simply more coughing.
I have no plans to sit opposite someone on public transport and let fly, nor to mix indiscriminately with the general public during what may be my infectious phase. Indeed my cold is nothing terrible, nor have I been slayed by a malevolent strain of manflu, so I don't want you to think I'm moaning about the inconvenience.
All that seems unusual in this case is that I believe I can pin down precisely who passed on the infection and when, rather than it emerging as a surprise cough of unknown origin, as is usually the case. My cold is Kieran's cold, and Kieran's fault, because Kieran boarded a train he might not have boarded and couldn't keep his viruses inside. Thank you Kieran, thanks for everything.
* All names have been changed to protect the privacy of the individuals concerned. But I know who you are, Kieran, OK?
Chocolate Week, the nation’s favourite themed week, returns from 9th to 15th October celebrating the world of fine chocolate. Chocolate Week aims to promote the finest British chocolate, independent artisan chocolatiers and the Fairtrade chocolate companies who work in direct partnership with cocoa farmers.
Hundreds of events are taking place this week around the UK, with the country’s top shops, hotels, bars and restaurants celebrating by hosting talks, tastings, demonstrations and sampling, as well as creating exclusive products, new launches, offers, chocolate meals, cocktails and recipes using some of the best chocolate brands from around the world.
I've been out to celebrate the very best chocolate experiences across the E3 postcode, and can confirm that Bow's chocolatiers remain at the very top of their game.
Step In Local, 9 Burdett Road, E3 4PH
To celebrate Chocolate Week, this independent minimarket on Burdett Road has devised a special cocoa-centric selection which places taste and beauty at the heart of the customer experience. Think tropical beans infused with Caribbean sugar, encased in plastic wrapping and optimally arrayed on sloping shelf units. It'd be toughness personified to have to choose between the many speciality bars on offer in this bespoke establishment. One of the many delights is the coconut-inspired Bounty, richly coated with thin dark chocolate. We have it on good authority that Dairy Milk with hazelnut is one of the exclusive Cadbury offerings. A Double Decker will cost you 69p. Heaven.
Londis, 27 Burdett Road, E3 4TN
Choose wisely in this temple of wicked pleasure and you too can take home an eclectic basket of incredible chocolates. Select bottles of wine to match and you'll be able to host your own expert tasting soirée, including Aero Mint with a cheeky Riesling or four-finger Kit Kat with Cabernet Sauvignon. Spend a perfect evening on the sofa identifying the flavours and subtle differences in both the wines and the chocolates as you become the ultimate choco-connoisseur, proving the age-old adage that chocolate with wine is always fine. We have it on good authority that Dairy Milk with Oreo is one of the exclusive Cadbury offerings. A Double Decker will cost you 70p. Bliss.
Tesco Superstore, Hancock Road, E3 3DA
E3's premier hypermarket is surely the ultimate destination to top off a week of chocolate indulgence. Tesco's lunch deal selection brings together all the world’s best chocolate brands under one roof, from Freddos to Kinder Bueno, not forgetting ever-present stalwart Yorkie Original. Make tracks to the multi-pack collection for some absolute tip-top bargains, with Wispa and Snickers priced at less than half what they cost individually elsewhere. We have it on good authority that Dairy Milk with chopped nuts is one of the exclusive Cadbury offerings. A Double Decker will cost you 60p. Bargain!
Nisa Local, 161A Bow Rd, London E3 2SG
Nisa is celebrating National Chocolate Week with a smorgasbord of offerings across all its London venues. An entire aisle has been devoted to all things cocoa, the perfect way to tame chocolate cravings as those chill autumn evenings draw in. Up for grabs are some of the best chocolate brands around, including the ever-traditional Mars bar and a wistful Curly Wurly. Naturally there are quality vegan options on offer too. We have it on good authority that Dairy Milk with caramel is one of the exclusive Cadbury offerings. A Double Decker will cost you 75p, but it's a Duo bar so that's excellent value. Excellent!
Cornucopia Market, 246 Tredegar Rd, E3 2GP
Any round up of Chocolate Week events has to include this chic convenience store tucked beneath the flats at Bevin Court. Eschew the aisles of vegetables and frozen goods and make haste to the display beneath the beady eyes of the cashier. Here you'll discover brightly-coloured samples of chocolate bars of different percentages and different origins to kick off your chocolate education. The best kind of education, we say. We have it on good authority that pure Dairy Milk untainted with extras is one of the exclusive Cadbury offerings. A Double Decker will cost you 69p. We're sold!
London Food Centre, 407 Roman Rd, E3 5QS
If you’re looking for a quirky experience, try a tour of this fantastic Roman Road emporium. Follow the intimate guided trail to experience London in a different way and spoil yourself with truffles, pralines, caramels and creams, finishing with a stand-up mini-chocolate tasting. Don't forget to follow the LFC on Instagram for inspirational and ultra-shareable promotional images showcasing the cacao collection to perfection. We have it on good authority that Dairy Milk with wholenut is one of the exclusive Cadbury offerings. Inexplicably Double Deckers are not available, but a Snickers will cost you 70p. Chapeau!
Ozzy's News & Shop, 52 St Paul's Way, E3 4AL
All your favourite E3 gourmet hotspots are getting in the spirit of things, and Ozzy's is no exception, with special recipe chocolate bars laid out in all the colours of the rainbow. By embracing your inner foodie not only are you indulging in a delicious treat, you’re also helping cocoa farmers get a better deal for their beans and additional income to invest in their community. We have it on good authority that Dairy Milk with fruit and nut is one of the exclusive Cadbury offerings. A Double Decker will cost you 55p, which is less than the proprietor would like to charge, but alas it's printed on the packaging. Awesome!
Food Sale Express, 564 Mile End Rd, E3 4PH
It's not too late to indulge in National Chocolate Week, and Food Sale Express delivers the ultimate finale to seven days of creamy excess. Sink your teeth into the hand-picked chocolates at this fragrant and colourful bazaar conveniently located for Mile End's most discerning commuters. Why not kickstart your morning with an extravagant surprise? We have it on good authority that Dairy Milk with Turkish delight is one of the exclusive Cadbury offerings. It's unclear how much a Double Decker costs because all the chocolate stock is unpriced, so it could be extortionate, but surely all the better for reinforcing that feeling of sheer luxury as you bite down. Yum yum!
The News Kiosk, 50A Bow Rd, E3 4DH
Scientifically proven to make you live longer, it would be rude not to ditch the diet and embrace Bow Road's #NationalChocolateWeek celebrations! At this bijou chocolate market the artisan confections are spread across a pair of racked units, beneath the unsold newspapers and beside the milk. Discover the award-winning delights of a Picnic or Toffee Crisp, individually wrapped, as part of the five-star service that's de rigeur in this premier kiosk. We have it on good authority that Dairy Milk with toffee is one of the exclusive Cadbury offerings. Again all the chocolates are unpriced, so purchasing a Double Decker will initiate a mystery dip on your financial resources. See you there!
Why head to the West End and empty your bank account for some posh themed meal or cocktail when all the chocolate you could ever need is liberally spread across E3 for a fraction of the price? Embrace Chocolate Week. Snack local!
