In recent years, TfL have made sterling efforts to encourage visitors to London onto the tube, the river, hire bikes and (especially) the cablecar. But only rarely have they gone out of their way to suggest that tourists take the bus, leaving the market clear for the high-priced open top sightseeing brigade. So you may be interested to hear of a new initiative on the TfL website, under the Experience London umbrella, introducing a series of 'bus leisure routes' for tourists.
These aren't special extra buses, there'd be no money for that. Instead these are five existing routes, rebranded 'bus leisure routes', each backed up by a downloadable pdf telling tourists how to ride. Take your pick.
Bus leisure route 9, for example, starts at Somerset House and heads to Holland Park, ticking off three palaces and six museums along the way. Bus leisure route 17 whisks you from King's Cross to London Bridge via four historic hostelries. Bus leisure route 22 covers Fulham Palace to Piccadilly, featuring the King's Road and Royal Academy. Bus leisure route 139 skips from Waterloo to Abbey Road via Hamleys, Selfridges and Lord's Cricket Ground. But I picked at random, which is why I'm now going to tell you of my experiences on bus leisure route 35, from Brixton Market to Columbia Road.
Bus leisure route 35: London's Markets
Brixton Market Bus stop T: Brixton Station
We're off to a cracking start. Brixton Market is just the kind of non-central gem a visitor to London could easily miss. The online blurb confirms that the local speciality is African and Caribbean produce, and contains a hint that change is afoot, noting that Granville Arcade has recently rebranded as ‘Brixton Village’. Faultless so far.
Borough Market Bus stop G: Union Street
Bus stop M: London Bridge
Next stop Borough Market. But what the linear map completely fails to mention is quite how far this is from Brixton on a number 35 bus. The 133 does the journey more directly, and gets there faster. Most Londoners would surely take the tube instead. But this is bus leisure route 35, so we're taking the 35, even if that means crawling via Camberwell for 40 minutes. If you're a temporary visitor to London, I'm unconvinced that sitting pointlessly on a busy double decker is the optimal use of your time. I can't say I enjoyed the experience. Bus leisure route 35 does pass two well known markets along the way, namely East Street Market in Walworth (birthplace of Charlie Chaplin) and the Elephant & Castle shopping centre (while stocks last), but I guess they're not sufficiently iconic to get a mention. And even when you do finally reach Borough Market, it turns out that one of the suggested bus stops (Union Street) is a bit of a hike, whereas the other (London Bridge) is almost outside. After an unproductive four mile journey, thank goodness the food offering is tip top.
Leadenhall Market Bus stop M: Fenchurch Street
Bus Stops L/N: Threadneedle Street
Here's a very different kind of market, more a collection of upmarket shops, but under a fabulously decorated roof, and of course it's been in Harry Potter. Leadenhall Market is easily reached by bus leisure route 35, three stops across the Thames, and the onboard display even announces the correct stop as 'Fenchurch Street for Leadenhall Market'. There's just one catch at present, which is that long-term roadworks are forcing a diversion via Bank so the 35 no longer stops outside. Will Old Broad Street do? It's not clear, but expect a walk.
Lloyd's of London Bus stop M: Fenchurch Street
Bus Stops L/N: Threadneedle Street
After a four mile hiatus earlier in the route, markets three and four turn out to be in the same place. The trail map's good, because it suggests you should walk from one to the other rather than take the bus, estimated walking time 2 minutes. But the linear map's misleading, because it shows the two attractions at different stops, rather than the same one. Also, see how creatively our trail curators are interpreting 'market' here, Lloyd's being a building with a distinctly financial flavour. It is an amazing architectural confection, but there's not really very much to do here apart from briefly look at it.
Spitalfields Market Bus Stop L: Liverpool Street Station
Bus stop H Primrose Street
Again the map offers two bus stops to get off at, but the second one is closer. The first stop is actually announced as 'Liverpool Street Station for Petticoat Lane Market', but alas Petticoat Lane's Sunday revels haven't been deemed worthy of inclusion. Thankfully Spitalfields is another excellent London market, or at least one an international visitor would consider as such, with its focus on designer goods rather than cheap kitchen scourers. Bus leisure route 35 has again hit the spot.
Brick Lane Bus stop H: Primrose Street
But here the trail loses it somewhat. Brick Lane is only five minutes walk from the far side of Spitalfields Market, as the text on the map carefully points out. But bus leisure route 35 goes nowhere near Brick Lane - the 67 and 205 go closer, and the 8 would be a better bet. This is the point on the trail where wishful thinking disconnects with reality, because bus routes don't magically link specific categories of tourist attraction. It's all got a bit contrived... and then it gets contriveder.
Columbia Road Flower Market Bus Stop X: Shoreditch Town Hall
Shoreditch Town Hall is the stop where the bus terminates, so you have to alight here and walk for 10 minutes to reach Columbia Road. The alternative is to carry on walking from Brick Lane, which is 15 minutes, depending on which end of Brick Lane you start. Visitors would have been better off catching the 26 or 48 from Liverpool Street, but the map isn't allowed to tell you that because it has to maintain the bus leisure route 35 mystique. What the text does correctly warn is that Columbia Road Flower Market only operates on Sundays, as does Brick Lane Market... except Sunday's the only day Borough Market isn't open, so it turns out there isn't a day of the week you can tick off the whole list in one go.
I did not enjoy my journey on bus leisure route 35. One outlier in Brixton and everything else on the eastern border of the City does not make for a happy ride. If I'd taken you on bus leisure route 22 instead, I'd have been moaning about how the last seven places all occur after the point marked "Get off the bus here and walk to the remaining locations". If I'd taken you on bus leisure route 9, I'd have been more positive, but less happy that the bus stopped at the wrong end of Exhibition Road for all the museums. If I'd taken you on bus leisure route 17, I'd have been raving about the pubs, but pointing out that the listed "Heritage" felt a bit random. And if I'd taken you on bus leisure route 139, I'd have groaned at how lowest common denominator touristy it all was, but actually I suspect that means it's the most successful of the lot.
It's great to see buses getting a bit of promotional love from TfL for a change. But the contrived nature of these bus leisure route journeys leads me to suspect that they could end up wasting tourists' time as much as opening their eyes to some proper treats. I'm also disappointed that the quintet doesn't include TfL's most obvious slamdunk tourist bus, the heritage Routemaster service which shuttles between Trafalgar Square and Tower Hill, passing St Paul's Cathedral along the way. Bus leisure route 15 should be getting far more attention from TfL than it currently affords, and I eagerly await its appearance in this peculiar portfolio.
1872: Pier opens 1999: Pier goes into administration 2001: Pier reopens under new management 2006: Pier found to be unsafe, and closes 2007: Pier partly reopens 2008: Pier found to be unsafe, and closes 2009: Pier "one storm away from collapse" 2010: Pier mostly destroyed by arson 2011: Pier wins Lottery grant 2016: Pier reopens under community ownership 2017: Pier wins Stirling Prize 2017: Pier wins "Pier of the year 2017" 2017: Pier goes into administration 2018: Pier bought by private businessman 25 June 2018: Pier reopens
Hastings Pier once looked quite ordinary, as piers go. A pavilion down the end, with refreshment, amusements and entertainment on the way. But for the 21st century it's been reimagined as a free space, rather than a collection of buildings, and resembles a long wooden tongue stretching out into the English Channel. [website][webcam][history]
What immediately strikes you is how empty it is. This is deliberate. An enormous public platform over the sea has huge potential, "inspiring temporary installations and events across a variety of scales". The freedom to roam above the waves and gaze back towards the resort is exhilarating. But generating sufficient reason to visit has proved problematic, and the absence of income proved the downfall of the previous community-led administration.
Only one building has survived arson, storm damage, and reconstruction, and that's the restaurant. A gently-curving glass-fronted building, it's long and thin with a rack of seating outside for nice weather. It was well-frequented in the blaze of yesterday afternoon. But its signage is underwhelming, its closed doors aren't quite welcoming, and its menu is poised one rung above the chippie takeaways in the heart of the town.
The one new permanent structure is a wooden pavilion in the centre of the pier, made from timber rescued after the 2010 blaze. It's a highly attractivemulti-purpose space, with steps on one flank where a entire group of French schoolkids might sit, leading to a cafe on the upper deck. This sells beer and snacks, which can be enjoyed sitting atop the pier and gawping seaward, which I can certainly recommend. But the draught beer was off, the serving girl didn't know where the bottle opener was or how to make a coffee, and the function room on the ground floor was wasted dead space because there wasn't an event on.
To either side of the pier are some large beach huts, painted in an optimal spectrum of seaside colours. There are five huts on one side and seven on the other. A couple sell drinks and ice cream, one sells tasteful crafty goods, one is a photo booth and one contains gender neutral toilets. The best hut contains the 21 saucy McGill seaside postcards which were deemed too obscene to sell, including one about a pickled gherkin, one about a bathtime whistle and a frankly astonishing design in which a giant stick of rock emerges from a man's groin. But the other huts were closed, nobody was around to whip up interest, and a commercial buzz was missing.
Walk all the way down to the end of the pier, across empty timbers, to find a few benches and a telescope. Display boards tell you what to look out for (mostly boats and birds), how long the pier is (277m) and what percentage of trusses had to be repaired as part of the restoration (70%). But there isn't much to see other than sea, and there are very few benches, indeed there aren't many benches across the entire pier, either to maximise the space available for temporary events or to funnel those who want to sit down into a refreshment setting. I would have liked a better reason to linger at the end of the pier, or indeed to linger anywhere.
It'd be dangerous to jump to conclusions about the state of a pier less than a week after it's reopened under new management. Most of what's present will have been there before he bought it, and some may not have survived the transition. But the local community are certainly angry about the buyout, given that they'd raised almost half a million pounds to keep the pier as a public asset, only for the administrators to sell it to a businessman for fifty thousand instead. He sounds a bit of a 'character' too, having recently painted his other pier in Eastbourne gold (without planning permission) and ever ready with anexcitablequote (telling the community to thank him and stop moaning). This could all end very badly, or he might be the commercial shot in the arm the pier's long-term finances desperately need.
A big retro drum and bass festival is taking place on the pier this Saturday, if you fancy bouncing around to Evil B and Skepsis, plus DJ Hazard on the decks. Next month's long-planned Gilbert and Sullivandouble bill has however been unceremoniously kicked out somewhere else, as a result of the administrative changeover, so all is not well on the events front.
Hastings Pier is a glorious space to perambulate, an open canvas for opportunity, and a refreshingly different take on seaside recreation. But the absence of physical stuff could easily result in an absence of purpose, and there is a risk its turbulent history might succumb to yet another magnificent failure.
The new American Embassy in Nine Elms opened six months back, if a fortified cube on an island within a moat can ever be described as 'open'. It's even less open than usual today, it being Independence Day when all the visa-stampers get the day off. But the sharpshooters will still be in place, and the security cameras will still be whirring, indeed if I've not been automatically added to some security database after walking round the perimeter taking dozens of photos I'd be very much surprised.
Kieran Timberlake's space-age cube is a genuinely strikingbuilding, not least because three of the four sides have been covered in strings of silver sails to keep the sun out. These also help to keep whatever's going on inside a bit more secret, as well as looking mighty fine in full-on solar glare. Meanwhile the north face is allowed to be plain glass without wrecking the building's top-class environmental credentials, which must be nice for those working inside, because the River Thames provides the only view that isn't highrise flats.
Somewhat unexpectedly, for a secure citadel, the flank facing Nine Elms Lane is open and welcoming. A footpath leads down through well-tended beds planted with colourful Stateside blooms, watched over by what looks like a full-time gardener keeping everything watered and spruce. Official visitors and office staff continue to the East Pavilion, the main entrance for pass-waving and checking in, past a man in black with a big handy gun. But fear not, any casual passer-by can instead dogleg back along the lakeside, take a seat, and maybe watch the ducks.
I was surprised by the ducks. I was also surprised by the length of the bench, which curves round for a good fifteen yards, allowing plenty of space to settle. The poolside planting looks positively sylvan, and the waterfall churning over both sides of the island adds to the ambience, but in truth this is all part of the passive security screen which keeps terrorists at bay. No explosives-packed truck is going to ever make it across this lake, but then it wouldn't have made it past the pavement either, because the embassy's perimeter hedge conceals a dense ring of chunky black bollards.
Would-be American citizens, and lesser consular visitors, are asked to enter the complex round the back. It's a bit of a hike at present, while the adjacent plots remain development sites, and passes the back of the first set of flats to be built hereabouts. Thankfully someone had the sense to get the local Waitrose up and running long before the embassy dropped in. Mind any reversing lorries as you approach, try not to antagonise yet more cops with guns, and manoeuvre past several more police cars than would be deemed necessary anywhere else.
Only drop in at the West Pavilion if you've a delivery to make. Visa-seekers need to head to the South Pavilion, a long curved cabin with full-on airport-style security, which grants the favoured entry to the inner sanctum. BestMate tells me a sweeping outdoor pathway leads up to a proper entrance in the southwest corner of the cube, which is also what the map engraved by the poolside shows, so it's hardly a secret. Give it a few years and I'm sure it'll look properly imposing but, as I mentioned earlier, a building site vibe remains unavoidable today.
Some of those trekking past may be local residents. Already open, squeezed between the embassy and the railway viaduct, is a Bellway development called The Residence. Because it's a late 2010s project you already know exactly what it looks like, the only distinguishing features being higher than usual ceilings, and an orangey palette to accent the brickwork round some of the windows. I wouldn't call any of the four core residential buildings a "striking edifice", but the marketing did, and they sold, so all's well.
But the chief development here is called Embassy Gardens, a disjoint three-phase "diplomatic precinct" which will eventually deliver 2000 homes. Phase 1 is up and running and has that Waitrose. Phase 2 is nearing completion, and is the site of the notorious Sky Pool which will allow rich swimmers to doggy paddle between two rooftops 35m above the ground in a transparent trench. The guard rail's already up, but anyone planning to ogle the privileged from ground level will have to wait until the scaffolding comes down. And Phase 3 remains at a skeletal stage, should you fancy popping into the sales pavilion and spluttering the word 'affordable' to see what the reaction is.
Meanwhile, back in Mayfair, the American flag no longer flies over Grosvenor Square. That gilded bald eagle is still looking down from the roof, but the grim little check-in capsules out front are now empty, other than a token gun-free security presence, and the statues of Roosevelt and Reagan outside look somewhat lost. Obviously the building's destiny is to become a luxury hotel, obviously Qatari-owned, because who wouldn't want to stay in a defensive administrative bastion? A two-week programme of cultural events is underway in the square outside, culminating in the inaugural Mayfair Sports Day on Friday 13th, but don't expect President Trump to drop by. The US embassy has moved on, and seemingly taken the special relationship with it.
