The Northern line is essentially two entirely separate lines. That's not historical, it's a position TfL have been slowly edging towards with an eye on increased capacity. Outside peak hours they've split the line at Kennington, with trains on the Charing Cross branch turning back via an underground loop. If only Camden Town station could be upgraded then the line could be split full time, but TfL have never had the planning permission and sufficient money to make the break. Which means I can take a ride back down the line from Edgware and only repeat three of the 32 stations I travelled through yesterday on the way up.
Edgware was little more than a village when the Northern line arrived in 1924, but today the surrounding area's anything but. A run of decent shops is broken by the station's pillared frontage, with a taxi drop-off circle in front and a bland bus station tucked behind. Head inside and down the stairs and three spacious platforms are to be found beneath a wide iron arch. It feels like a proper terminus at the start of a journey to somewhere exciting, which may or may not be your description of Kennington 40 minutes hence. The indicator board offers no clues to how long it'll be before the next train departs, so you might rush unnecessarily, or you might saunter and miss the beeping doors. We'll assume the former.
The run to Burnt Oak is indicative of what's to come - the backs of gardens, the occasional overbridge, plenty of trees. The station's typical too, accessed from above down gentle steps to an island platform. The same at Colindale, though a little busier here, perhaps with folk departing the RAF Museum up the road. Thus far you've been allowed to take your bike on the train but no further. Ahead is a brief tunnel to negotiate beneath the M1 and bits of Hendon, only a minute long but enough for TfL to bar two-wheeled steeds forthwith. Before the tunnel portal watch out for the Met Police's Hendon training centre, and yes that really is a blue policebox through the fence alongside the cadets' perimeter road.
The tracks emerge into cutting at Hendon Central, then skirt the longest edge of Hendon Park. Crossing the North Circular provides a grand panorama, from a hilltop spire round to Wembley's arch, plus the largest shopping centre in northwest London. Brent Cross isn't quite ideally located for its eponymous mall - that's on the opposite side of a brutal arterial roundabout, which is what happens when you open the tube station first rather than second. Nice station entrance, by the way, very Edgware-esque, which unusually you can see clearly from the train window above. We roll into Golders Green at rooftop level, this a busy multi-platform station with several platforms (and gold clocks, and benches with integrated roundels, and timber canopies, and lovely).
That's it for above ground. Immediately ahead is the entrance to a tunnel, and shortly after that the deepest point below ground on the entire tube network, 69m beneath Holly Bush Hill. Close by is the lost station that never opened, that's North End, its platforms slipping by unnoticed in the dark. Hampstead station's deep too, 320 steps to the surface if you're either very fit or borderline suicidal. This is the start of another run of Leslie Green tiling, with a design on the platform walls that looks a bit like the Millennium bug. Belsize Park's pattern is a richer brown and a little more involved, while Chalk Farm's struck me as more of a sawtooth, although Leslie probably had something completely different in mind.
I made this journey on a Sunday afternoon, hence the platforms at Camden Town were mercifully clear. Entrance from above is barred for four and a half hours while Camden's streets and markets are flooded with yoof, so only those changing between branches stand waiting. One consequence of this shutdown is hordes lined up at Mornington Crescent, this the only time the station's busy, waiting to board en masse with designer bags a-dangle. As the doors start to close one surly shopper jams her torso through, delaying our progress, and another dozen latecomers take the opportunity to squeeze inside.
Next is Euston, approached via completely different tunnels to those on the City branch, indeed almost perpendicular. The platformwallshere are decorated with an abstract red, blue and yellow design based on some shield or coat of arms that's locally relevant. All is explained in an information panel for the benefit of inquisitive passengers, but reading that would have involved getting off so I continued in ignorance. Warren Street is the only station on the Northern line where the accent colour is pure black, and which according to Mr Green's tiles still goes by its former name of Euston Road. As for Goodge Street its most notable feature must be the ridiculously overdone pronunciation of "Goooodge" on the in-train announcements, which had two American tourists in fits.
Tottenham Court Road looks a mess, with splashes of mosaic to brighten extensive surfaces of pre-Crossrail concrete. It also signals the start of a flurry of West End activity, lots getting off, lots getting on, ditto Leicester Square. Two grannies make a play to grab adjacent seats, but fail, which is about as exciting, characterfully, as my entire journey gets. I like the black and white mural at Charing Cross, a selection of medieval craftspeople toiling to build the Eleanor Cross above, courtesy of David Gentleman. And from here it's barely any distance at all beneath Villiers Street to Embankment, indeed a mere 260 metres, making this the second shortest journey on the underground network.
We pass beneath the Thames in the vicinity of Hungerford Bridge (Ian can tell you about the sealed-off Northern line loop beneath the river). A mass exodus of passengers departs at Waterloo, because there's only one destination left, and that's South London. It feels quite a long way to the next station, but that's only relative compared to the baby steps we've taken through the West End. And this is Kennington, the 90%-of-the-time end of the line, where every traveller disembarks. A few leave to rise to the streets of Lambeth, but most walk through the cross-passage and onto the next Morden-bound train, departing now. Nobody stopped to check the train was empty, so I should have stayed aboard to ride the Kennington Loop round in a great circle... to emerge on the other side of the station as the next northbound train. But enough already.
(+10 years)
From here the train continues through what used to be the Kennington Loop. The carriages are rammed, as usual, with socialites and boutique shoppers heading to MallAsia in Battersea at the end of the line. The tunnel follows a roundabout route to extension station one, that's Barclays Nine Elms, with its characteristic lightbox adverts all along the platform. Nobody's yet seen anyone from the adjacent US Embassy alighting here, because they go everywhere by car, but the American security guards by the automatic smartcard barriers still give every departing passenger an X-ray once-over. Our driverless service has one more stop to go. "We are now arriving at Prada Battersea MallAsia. Please remember to take all your purchases with you when leaving the train." Most take the lifts, because it's less effort than walking to the escalators. And their final destination is the glass boulevard through the old power station, where the chimneys used to cast their shadow. Such prosperity, such conspicuous consumption, even if there's barely a true Londoner in sight. Whatever your view of the half billion overspend, the Johnson Line Extension has sprinkled its magic dust on Battersea.
According to my 1971 Guinness Book of Records, the world's longest continuous vehicular tunnel is the London Transport Board underground railway line from Morden to East Finchley via Bank. In use since 1939, it is 17 miles 528 yards long. Alas the record didn't hold into the 1980s, thanks to burrowing in Moscow, but this is still the longest continuous tunnel on the tube network. The ex-record-breaker provides the setting for the majority of today's end-to-end end journey up the Northern line, bar half a dozen open-air stations at the Barnet end of the line. By which I mean sorry, most of what follows is underground, so don't expect narrative excitement.
Morden is as far south as the Underground goes, so it's somewhat ironic that the station's on the Northern line. Charles Holden's consummate entrance is embedded in a parade of shops and offices, with passengers sweeping in beneath a chandelier, through a circular ticket hall and down to the platforms. There are five of these, but only three tracks, making Morden one of the few stations on the network where doors open on both sides. For the full tunnel experience make sure it's a High Barnet train you board, and so long as it's not rush hour you'll almost certainly be riding the correct route via Bank. The tunnel portal rears up only a few hundred yards beyond the station, extinguishing daylight for what'll be just under an hour.
South Wimbledon is the first of a number of very similar-looking stations. That's tiled and tubular, mostly white but with turquoise and then silvery grey tiles bordering each advertising panel. The roundels here have a slightly peculiar font that doesn't quite look the way you'd expect to see today, and at least one sign still says South Wimbledon (Merton), because that's really where this station is located. Colliers Wood has the same turquoise-grey-white pallete, plus a border of blue around the roundel board to complete the pattern. Then Tooting Broadway's the same (but busier), ditto the wonderfully named Tooting Bec, ditto Balham (gateway to the south). Even the adverts are much the same on every platform, but shuffled into a different order, from the latest Jessie J album to an Irish American Football game. By Clapham South (ditto) I have resorted to counting the number of consecutive high pitched beeps that play out every time the doors are about to shut. I make it 28, and I do not waver in that assertion further down the line.
Whoa, Clapham Common! Its islandplatform is almost unique on the underground, a long straight refuge with trains pulling in on both sides. I suspect there are several local residents who refuse to use this station, so queasy does the narrow giddying platform make them feel. I suspect that's also why so many passengers wait at the foot of the steps and then bundle into the rear carriage, to save having to negotiate past those lingering awkwardly further along. Clapham North looks much the same, but with a distinct kink - this the only other tube station still with its original island platform because nobody's ever had the money to dig anything wider. By now the train is probably rather full, as south London's residents crowd aboard the only rail service that can take them to the heart of town. But Stockwell acts as a release, its ever-so-convenient Victoria line connection attracting many from their seats. It also doesn't have that turquoise-grey-white look, having been upgraded to a more modern Victoria-like design in the 1960s.
Oval has that familiar colour scheme again, as does Kennington, but this time with a twist. Kennington's where the Northern line divides, one branch through the West End and the other through the City. These days trains rarely run directly onto the former, so another exodus sees passengers slipping across the passage to continue their "via Charing Cross" journey. Look, now there are seats again, and not that many people dashing aboard to sit on them. The decor at Elephant & Castle has been upgraded, almost sympathetically, with a more modern vinyl strip along the top of the platform. Borough meanwhile is a symphony in black, with the tiling detail for once reflecting the Northern line's designated colour. And it turns out London Bridge is precisely half an hour from Morden, almost all of which has been spent travelling directly beneath the same road (that's the A24/A3).
Here we are at Bank, the station that's going to see a major upgrade over the next few years. This northbound tunnel will survive, but had we been travelling south the tracks would eventually be converted to a passenger concourse. I breathe a sigh of relief at Moorgate because, after seventeen stations, finally an interesting group of passengers board who I'll be able to write about. They're a Japanese family - mum, dad and two young sons - who immediately pose for a thumbs-up photo (as tourists do on the tube). The youngest son is grinningly excitable and starts to squawk, which mother isn't at all keen on. "If you scream," she says, "a policeman will come and catch you and take you to jail." He squawks again, and indeed again, having ascertained that arrest is not imminent, but so endearingly that the rest of the carriage merely smiles.
By Old Street the social mix has switched from those departing South London to those journeying North. Trainers are swisher, carrier bags are hipper, and the tone is only lowered (at Angel) by a middle-aged man entering with a rolled-up music magazine protruding somewhat suggestively between his legs. I note that King's Cross St Pancras has brand new white-on-black tourist signs above the platforms pointing towards the British Library. These'll be really useful if you ever alight here, because now you can always follow these yellow arrows to avoid TfL sending you on an unnecessarily devious route to your destination. Interchange is much easier at Euston, a simple switcheroo across to the northbound Victoria line platform (although admittedly rather more complicated if heading anywhere else).
At Camden Town the last set of doors will not open. A recorded message announces this in advance of arrival, but the volume's not especially high and I think I was the only person in the last carriage to hear it. I deduced this when 21 people stood at Camden Town and walked towards the last set of doors, including the Japanese family who'd boarded earlier. They stood expectantly as absolutely nothing happened, then twigged they'd need to walk down the carriage to the penultimate doors to escape. Turning round the Japanese toddler proved problematic, blocking progress for a few crucial seconds, so when the door beep came there were still six would-be market-goers trapped aboard the train. This half dozen continued to Kentish Town (Chalk Farm wouldn't have been so bad), unexpectedly good-natured about their unnecessary diversion. But when quite so many people fail to spot an important announcement about not being able to alight, you have to wonder if there's a better way to get the message across.
The train's much emptier by Tufnell Park, or :TUFNELL:PARK: as the tiling on the platform wall has it. We're in the middle of a run of three Leslie Green stations, each with marvellous tiling similar to that seen on the originalPiccadillyline. Kentish Town's signature hue is a darker brown, whereas Tufnell Park's is lighter, the colour of smokers' fingernails. Archway goes for emerald, and then Highgate breaks the pattern entirely with a much more clinical white and green, in matching style to the southern Hainault Loop.
And that's it for underground. We've been in the former record-breaking tunnel for 56 minutes as we emerge into daylight at East Finchley. This is a lovely Art Deco station, another of Charles Holden's, with semi-spiral stairwells rising (inaccessibly) within curved glass buildings on the platforms. At last there are views of London to enjoy, this the thick of suburban Barnet, as allotments, rooftops and a series of arched road bridges roll by. Finchley Central's flowerbeds are still blooming strong, alongside an array of pot plants and a small wishing well which would look more at home outside a bungalow. Ahead the tracks strike out for Mill Hill East, but the mainline veers right and the banks become a little woodier.
West Finchley has an almost rural air, Woodside Park definitely so. Both have short gabled shelters on their platforms with green and white wooden canopies, both have a lattice footbridge, and one even boasts a period signal box. Not so much happens passenger-wise this far up the line, not off-peak northbound, apart from a few local souls nipping aboard to go shopping in Barnet. Thence to Totteridge and Whetstone, one of the longest station names on the network, with the unexpected appearance of plain brick as the dominant building material. And then we're nearly at our destination, rising up on a viaduct at Underhill before waiting to dive into cutting once a final platform becomes available. The station at High Barnet is distinctly low, with a long ramp to climb to escape upwards towards the town centre. An hour and a quarter all told, joining two sides of London, to the most northern the Northern line gets.
Few people ever get to venture inside the Big Brother House. Three dozen contestants a year (and the production team, obviously), but not many more. So when the National Trust blagged tickets for 500 members of the public to gain entry, I got in quick and grabbed one. They've admitted it was a stunt, a promotional gimmick to broaden their appeal with younger Britons. If so I'm not sure it worked, because the party I went round with last weekend were mostly over 40 rather than under. But the Trust earned plentyofpublicity out of the whole affair, first when the tickets went on sale and then again when they threw a midweek BB party. And I got to venture inside the Big Brother House to see what it's really like, not just how it appears on the TV. They're two very different things.
My fellow temporary housemates and I rendezvoused at Elstree Studios, which lies at the less glamorous end of Borehamwood High Street just round the back of the Tesco megastore. Our short queue was overshadowed by scores of kids and their chaperones waiting to be allowed inside for Friday Download, while around the corner the audience for Strictly were arriving. Just because Big Brother's off the air until 2014 doesn't mean there's nothing else going on here. We were led first to the set of Big Brother's Little Brother, or Big Brother's Big Mouth, or Big Brother's Bit On The Side, whatever it's called these days. It looked unexpectedly cheap, a few clustered seating areas in front of a gaudy rave-style background, but that's the magic transforming power of the TV camera. And the main house isn't nextdooor, that's an illusion, it's at the other end of the studio complex (past the George Lucas Stage).
Stage one of our tour involved entry to the camera runs. While the programme's filming you have to keep dead quiet in here - there are lots of signs up warning staff of this, and of doors not to be opened under any circumstances without talking to the gallery. Lift a black cloth and you could look directly inside, clear as day, then move further up the corridor for a slightly different view. The next tour group were already inside the living area, oblivious to our gestures, or so we thought until two pushed up close to the glass and waved back. The layout of the house is very compact, and very clever from a surveillance point of view. The living area is surrounded, then the garden is a separate enclave, with a variety of minor rooms leading off in the gaps. There's the task room, the bedroom and bathroom, plus a gym which looks huge on the TV but is barely large enough for two exercise machines and a fridge full of energy drinks. We passed several dozen mirrored windows altogether, each individually numbered, any of which could be key to filling a few minutes of tomorrow's episode.
On hearing that we were about to enter the house proper, certain tour guests let out an audible squeal. These weren't National Trust members come to visit a non-stately home, they were BB viewers and superfans come to visit Mecca. You could tell this when the door to the bedroom opened and they stepped inside, grinning, and proceeded to take photos toprove they were here. Photos by the bookcase. Photos sat at the mirror using the Celebrity hairdriers. Photos lying on a not-very-wide double bed. Photos sprawled on the quilt cover with the wife thumbs aloft would you take our photo thanks. I meanwhile was trying to take photos without people in, but that wasn't easy with sixteen people in a confined space, which is of course how Big Brother works.
Next, to the garden. Blimey the actual Big Brother garden where hundreds of tasks and tens of thousands of bitchy conversations have taken place over the years. If anything this was a little larger than it looks on the TV, many of us said so. Enough space to perform or cavort on the central lawn - astroturf, obviously. Enough nooks to keep all gossip private - save for an audience watching avidly elsewhere. In one corner this year's jacuzzi, a circle of roped-off water surrounded by decking. In the opposite corner a run of raised triangular beds, thickly cultivated with resplendent bedding plants. Laid out in the centre, a suite of designer garden furniture with cushions (available to buy on the Channel 5 website). Above our heads a swathe of netting strung across the entire garden, either to keep the birds out or to prevent unwelcome aerial marketing. I looked at the walls to determine how easy it would be to climb out - I'd say not very, indeed you're almost certainly better off kicking a wall or door down to escape this house of mirrors.
For the housemate in need of solace, a variety of boltholes exist. One door leads to the bathroom, a riot of pink and purple with two baths set into the floor. I got this room entirely to myself, apart from the Endemol security guard keeping watch to check I didn't climb into the tub, turn on the shower or run off with the handwash. Nextdoor was the jail, a barred area with two chairs (and a Fire Exit sign), which we could enter and leave of our own free will. An outdoor shower was available, presumably to boost ratings, plus a true inanimate celebrity, the Big Brother mangle. And then up the back stairs was the treehouse, with space for a cramped sofa and an outside terrace with a panorama over all the garden action. From up here the illusion was shattered, with the roof of the George Lucas Stage poking above the artificial greenery, spotlights and scaffolding.
What we'd all been waiting for, of course, was the opportunity to enter the main living space "where everything happens". It's been decorated and remodelled in a variety of ways over the years, but is currently in glitzy Celebrity Big Brother mode. On the sofas at one end was a surprise, three actual genuine housemates were here to meet and greet and have a chat. Further delighted squeals ensued as members of the party recognised "ooh Charlie" and "the twins Joe and Jack". I had no idea, having given up on Big Brother when it transferred to Channel 5, having previously watched 95%-religiously. Had this been Craig or Nadia or Ulrika I'd have known the entire backstory, but as it was I was merely a bystander. Elsewhere in this long large room were the kitchen and dining area, plus the tiny store room (stacked with supplies from a particularly task-fail week). I enjoyed looking round at first, but was slightly less enamoured after 30 minutes in the same confined space. Others were having a great time exploring in pairs or interacting in small groups, whereas I was wandering alone, suffering somewhat because the House's architecture demands human contact.
And then the highlight. Each group in the tour party was sequentially summoned ("This is Big Brother. Would Natalie and Callum please come to the Diary Room?") via an official loudspeaker announcement. It'll never happen again, so make the most. This year's Diary Room is at the top of the main staircase, which meant the opportunity to sample an eviction walk during the ascent. Pushing open the door, a short passage led to the sanctuary itself, with this year's iteration of The Chair floodlit in one corner. I took a seat, looking back the other way towards... well, not much really, just a very small camera. So inconspicuous that when Big Brother herself started talking to me I turned instead to the loudspeaker at my side rather than facing front. We met her later in the tour, one of the actual team who take turns on the programme, squeezed into a corner of the production gallery. What must she have thought as I extemporised awkwardly from The Chair, pausing too quickly for reaction and receiving none? I can't banter to camera convincingly, I proved that fast, and all too swiftly my spell in the hotseat was over. "Thank you," Big Brother intoned, "you may leave the Diary Room". I'll not be back, I wouldn't want to, and they wouldn't have me. But I loved my look round one of the most famous houses in the country, and next time BB's back I may even watch again, now I know how the magic works.
» They didn't let us take photos of anything you couldn't see on TV. But you'll be wanting 20 photos anyway.
A consultation has just been launched into plans for a Bank station upgrade. We've had draft plans before, indeed there's already work underway to add a step-free entrance to the Waterloo & City line. But this is on a completely different level, indeed over several levels, and you may be surprised by the degree of change.
Bank station has two major problems. Firstly it's a very busy interchange, so it gets very crowded down there. In particular the two Northern line platforms are rather narrow and very close together and a persistent bottleneck. And secondly it's a very complicated interchange, which means trekking from one platform to another can take a while. So TfL plan to make the station considerably more complicated, cramming in extra links and passages everywhere possible, and in doing so they hope to greatly ease overcrowding.
• The Northern line's southbound platform will permanently close and a new parallel tunnel will be dug. This might sound radical, but it's a solution that's already been tried successfully up the line at Angel and Euston. In these cases the former platform was knocked through to create considerably more waiting space, whereas at Bank the disused tunnel will become a new parallel concourse. No longer will you have to fight your way along the northbound platform, you'll be able to stroll through the tube where southbound trains used to go. Result.
• A new station entrance/exit will be built in Cannon Street. This'll be a major street-level access, between the Pret on Abchurch Lane and the McDonalds on Nicholas Lane, presumably as part of upcoming office redevelopment. And it'll only be a couple of minutes away from Cannon Street station, providing an alternative route to the District line and mainline rail services.
• Lifts will provide step-free access to the Northern line, from the new ticket hall and from the DLR below.
• A new bank of escalators will be added from the Central line down to Northern line level. It'll head down from the top of one of the spiral staircases, which by the looks of it will disappear. But the foot of the escalator will be some distance from the Northern line platforms, so TfL are planning to install a moving walkway (à la Waterloo) to speed you along the passage. That's a new passage, burrowed inbetween the existing DLR subway and the new southbound tunnel. Told you this was major.
• Want more escalators? Have more escalators. One new set will head down, opposite the end of the moving walkway, as additional access to the DLR. And one new set will head up, from between the Northern line platforms to the brand new exit on Cannon Street. No station in London will be quite so rammed with escalators and moving walkways as Bank/Monument.
If you like 3D cutaway diagrams, it's your lucky day. TfL have producedseveral so you can get your head round what they plan to do. A mighty complex rabbit warren is on the cards, promising faster interchange times via more direct routes and greatly improving capacity. If you like what you see, or if you don't, the consultation runs until 8th November and you should have your say. There'll also be a public exhibition next week at St Mary Abchurch (Tue-Fri, 11am-7pm) where you can see a proper 3D model, watch a film and grill some staff.
If all goes to plan, building work at Bank will commence in April 2016 and be complete by July 2021. Expect a miserable series of closures, diversions and general awkwardness for five years while that's underway. In particular the Northern line will be closed through Bank between April and August 2020 while the station undergoes the peak of its radical transformation. But the end result should be an interchange that's easier and quicker to negotiate, and not a moment too soon.
fivelinks (London transport edition)
Moquette is an interactive novel set on the London Underground, starting at Balham, Tuesday morning, 08:03, waiting for the Northern line. Not only is there a story to follow, there's a journey to plan, and several characters to meet along the way. Created by Alex Warren, it's a novel experience. [make sure you have at least 15 minutes spare before you start, and there's no need to run through the story twice, because you'll get the full effect in one] [via @geofftech]
Why should mobile phone apps have all the good travel options? Now the folk who brought you the marvellous Citymapper app (quote from workmate, "I can't believe this is free"), have returned to their web-based roots by creating SuperRouter, an intelligent map-based London journey planner. Click start and finish on the map, or enter these points down the side, and several routes (by rail, bus, taxi or on foot) will be presented. How long, how much, how many calories, what more could you possibly need to know? [damned clever]
We've got used to knowing when London's buses are due, thanks to TfL's Countdown technology. Now Matthew Somerville has gone one step further and can show you where these buses are in approximately real time. His Live London Bus Map plots all the bus stops on each route (in yellow) and all the buses (in red). That's every single TfL bus route from 1 to X68, each on their own separate map, plus (in a nice twist) Thames Clipper services too. Are all the buses on route 25 bunched up together? Is there a big gap in the service on the 36? Where are the all the drivers on the 100? Is the H10 still going round in circles? This takes Countdown data to a whole new level. Fascinating, useful and therapeutic. [buses move in straight lines from stop to stop, rather than along the roads, so some of the action might look a bit strange] [when no buses are running, no map appears] [via Londonist] [& thanks @Nico]
The Every Tube Station Song does exactly what it says on the tin. Jay Foreman has concatenated the name of every single tube station (n.b. not DLR, not Overground) into a rattling strum-a-long lasting 3 minutes 10 seconds. He doesn't smile much, but he's clearly had a lot of fun filming this... sitting on trains, walking up escalators and indulging in green screen antics. [do not try this at home]
If your Oyster card is held in promotional plastic, and you'd rather flash something more artistic as you touch in, why not grab one of the 10 limited edition travel wallets created to celebrate this year's London Design Festival and the Underground's 150th birthday. I'm not normally persuaded to part with unnecessary cash, but even I've swapped £6.99 for a swish colourful design. Now the festival's over you'll find them in a box beside the till at the London Transport Museum. [take your pick]