Hopefully most of these places are well known enough that you've got a good idea where they are, and perhaps what to do there. But you don't have to be totally rigid in your destination. Think of this simply as a way to break the deadlock of indecision. Use the names in the box as inspiration, maybe researching whereabouts there is to go beforehand, or perhaps simply turning up and wandering around.
Alternatively, as a reader of this blog you might be after something a bit more challenging. Why restrict yourself to the usual tourist spots when the whole of London is available for exploration?
In which case you need this instead, my Random Psychogeography Expedition Generator.
It works the same way - first dice blue, second dice yellow - but the destinations are further flung.
Think of it as having your own random jamjar, but in grid form.
Again, don't feel constrained by the names in the boxes. If it says Croydon, it's OK to deviate to Purley. If it says Muswell Hill and Highgate, it's OK to go to Crouch End. And if you're thinking, OMG I've no idea what there is to do in Harefield or Carshalton or Erith, well, that's the point. I've learned a heck of a lot about London by simply turning up and wandering around, and you could too.
If you'd like a little more choice, use both grids. Roll the dice, and then decide whether you'd like to go to the location in the green table or the location in the pink table.
If you'd like a little less choice, toss a coin first. If you get heads, use the green table, and if you get tails, use the pink table. That could make for a properly random day out.
If today is not the day to go, maybe bookmark this page for later (or remember to click back to March 2018 at a later date).
And if you do ever go, please come back afterwards and tell us what random stuff you found. We'd love to know how you got on.
Decapitated tube station quiz (I came up with the idea for this quiz while waiting at station number 6)
Here are clues to the names of tube stations with the first letter missing.
For example, if the clue was "The last thing you do before leaving home", then the station would be CLOCK HOUSE (but that's not on the tube map, so that's not in the quiz).
How many can you name?
Tube stations 1) Central 2) Lyme Regis 3) Hire crucifix 4) What nunneries do 5) Good clocks do this 6) Former Royal Navy flagship 7) Old village beyond Croydon 8) How and where King Harold died 9) Result of increased time in the sun 10) Village beside the M20 near Ashford 11) Deputy Mayor of London for Transport 12) Where Dagenham's car workers worked 13) How Shem and Japeth described their brother
DLR/Overground/Crossrail stations 14) Henry II Henry IV Henry VI Henry VIII 15) Using software on your smartphone 16) Brainstorm or thought shower? 17) Home ground of Buckie Rovers 18) Who's the Health Secretary? 19) Internal partition missing 20) Where coops are kept
A 48 hour strike on the DLR has been impacting on public transport across East London. I went out yesterday morning at the end of the rush hour to give the disrupted system a test drive. I wonder if things'll be any better today.
TfL have put together a special DLR strike webpage to tell customers what's going on. It's not especially helpful, except as a portal to other information. Yesterday morning it stated "DLR services will be severely impacted", but failed to say what the impact actually was. This paragraph was later updated to explain what was and wasn't running, but too late to assist rush hour travellers.
The DLR strike webpage also promised that "extra buses will run on key routes along the DLR network", but failed to say what those routes are, assuming we don't need to know. A single tweet at 7:12am by @TfLBusAlerts confirmed they were routes 108 115 135 147 277 474 D3 D7 and D8, but that was easily missed, and hasn't been repeated since. No rail replacement buses have been provided, because TfL prefers not to waste money like that these days, given that passengers can usually use proper paid-for services instead.
In lieu of this minimal information, the strike webpage directs passengers to Twitter, Facebook and email for up-to-date news, and to the Journey Planner for replanning their route. TfL put great faith in their Journey Planner as a solution to passenger disruption, assuming you can easily access it even if you can't. We'll have a laugh at the Journey Planner's expense later.
The other place passengers have been prompted to look for information is the TfL Status Updates webpage. Even this failed yesterday, because the underlying software can't cope with an unusual strike. "There are currently no major line disruptions reported on the network", screamed the grey box slapped on top of an empty map. You had to look to the side to see the DLR was in fact operating a Reduced Service, and click on that to see how badly.
Due to strike action the service is only operating between LONDON CITY AIRPORT and CANNING TOWN and between BECKTON and POPLAR until approximately 16:00. There is no service on the rest of the line. Your tickets will be accepted on the local buses and the Underground and Overground.
It would have been really useful to see this on a map, particularly to get some idea of what wasn't running, but no. Once again the Status Updates page has failed to be as responsive as it should be, and even though TfL must have realised this yesterday, nobody had the coding skills, permission or opportunity to put it right.
And all of this was before I ventured out of the house to give five different journeys a try. Wish me luck.
Bow Church → All Saints Normal DLR journey: 4 minutes My journey: 40 minutes (28 minute wait + 12 minute bus ride)
In the absence of a train, the 108 bus is very much the best way to travel three stops down the line. Or at least it is if one turns up. Even though the route was running with extra buses, meaning the frequency should have been better than usual, no 108 turned up for nigh on half an hour. When one did finally arrive it was of course very busy, but thankfully capacious enough for us all to squeeze on, so off we set. The scrolling message on the electronic display read "No DLR service today due to strike action", an over-simplified summary which wasn't actually true. By the time we reached All Saints two other 108s had overtaken us, these the promised extra buses ferried in from other operators, too late to be of any use. It would have been considerably quicker to walk, but also considerably wetter.
All Saints → Canary Wharf Normal DLR journey: 4 minutes My journey: 32 minutes (26 minute wait + 6 minute bus ride)
The platforms at All Saints were chained off, with signs saying 'Station closed. Refer to information displayed". The information displayed said 'No DLR service from this station due to RMT strike action', and advised referring to local tube, rail and bus maps. The local bus map said two bus routes went to Canary Wharf, the D7 all round the houses and the D8 straight there. I found the appropriate stop down the road and waited for the D8. Five D7s came instead. Some were extras slipped in from elsewhere, essentially offering a free ride, and several Docklands-goers hopped aboard despite the considerably longer ride. I should have joined them, I'd have got there faster, as once again the augmented bus service failed to deliver.
Canary Wharf → Poplar Normal DLR journey: 3 minutes My journey: 8 minutes on foot
Even though Canary Wharf DLR station was closed, two helpful ladies in pink jackets were available to proffer advice on the downstairs concourse. They looked up Poplar on the sheets of paper they were holding, and suggested taking the D8 bus. Or you could walk, they added, which was by far the most sensible option. Poplar's only a short distance away, on the other side of the Crossrail station, and no buses stop anywhere close. I ignored the advice of the Journey Planner, which was a 19 minute Jubilee/DLR round trip via Canning Town, starting with an 8 minute walk to Canary Wharf tube station. And I definitely ignored the 'bus only' suggestion, which was a lunatic half-hour two-bus journey to Blackwall, from where I was expected to walk another 12 minutes back to Poplar. But it was only 8 minutes to walk to Poplar direct, as the very last option on the page stated, and which proved fastest of all.
Poplar → Royal Albert Normal DLR journey: 11 minutes My journey: 11 minutes (by DLR)
'No DLR service from this station due to RMT strike action' said the notice plonked outside Poplar station, which was inaccurate, because there was. Management had been operating a limited service between Poplar and Beckton since 07:30, but there was no clue to this at the entrance, so who knows how many potential passengers missed out. On the overbridge above the station three staff in orange hi-vis stood chatting, and carried on chatting while I stood there looking lost for a minute, there being no electronic displays up there to help me out. Down on the platform another member of staff was yelling instructions into a megaphone, but they were hopelessly inaudible upstairs, because throwing personnel at a problem doesn't necessarily solve it.
It turned out trains were only departing from platform 1, but every 8 minutes, which is a better through service than the line normally gets. I noticed that the scrolling message on the platform displays still said ***No DLR service from this station***, contradicting everything Megaphone Boy was shouting, and reality. Only a handful of passengers boarded when the train arrived, but numbers climbed as we headed east, with Canning Town the key draw. The member of staff patrolling the train looked like management, and still felt the need to go round checking our tickets, just like the real operators do. I reached my destination on the Beckton branch in the normal amount of time, barely inconvenienced at all.
London City Airport → Canning Town Normal DLR journey: 6 minutes My journey: 6 minutes (by DLR)
London City Airport was the only operational DLR station I visited whose posters acknowledged that a limited service was running. 'DLR service until 1600 only', it said, which made me wonder why proper printed posters couldn't have been rolled out in place of misinformation elsewhere. At least a dozen cleaners were socialising on the platform, because they weren't on strike, except there was hardly any litter to pick up along the line because there were hardly any passengers.
A member of staff demanded I tell him where I was heading, and directed me somewhat stridently towards platform 1, whereas I was intrigued by the supposed arrival of a train to Pontoon Dock on platform 2. Sure enough the platform 2 train arrived first, its digital destination blank, and its operator frantically beckoning waiting passengers to come across. An impressively regular service was running, but unusual enough that electronic displays weren't coping particularly well, wrongfooting staff. Still, full marks to the one-off train operator, who delivered a comprehensive and word perfect list of onward travel options as we approached Canning Town.
Alas Canning Town also had out-of-date posters. 'Potential DLR strike action' they said, as they had for days previously, which wasn't helpful when DLR service were actually operating in three directions. The general story seemed to be of a temporary service doing its best, but backed up by insufficient explanation unless you were plugged into all available channels. For those on unserved sections of the DLR (and for everybody after 4pm), finding alternative routes was considerably more awkward, and digital solutions didn't always deliver. With strikes destined to continue until the latest dispute is sorted, it'd be helpful if the dissemination of information was sorted first.
Pedway aficionados rejoice. The City of London has a new set of elevated walkways, now open to explore.
The latest pedways can be found around London Wall, leading off from the southern edge of the Barbican. They're part of a new business complex called London Wall Place, whose developers were obliged to add pedways as part of the planning process, replacing connections severed when the previous concrete podium was demolished. [map]
The new pedways aren't concrete, they're brushed metal, with timber-panelled sides and smart wooden handrails to add a touch of class. If it's Brutalism you seek, look elsewhere. But the overall effect is highly appealing, especially the sexywiggle one of the highwalks makes to nudge round the remains of a gutted church.
All this means it's once again possible to walk from the Barbican towards the back of the Guildhall at first floor level. The pedway exits an original concrete portal on the Barbican's Andrewes Highwalk, closed since 2013, and ducks underneath the cantilevered deck of one of the new office blocks. It then heads across London Wall, on a jaunty diagonal, to link up with the original Bassishaw Highwalk, which once again has a reason to exist rather than festering as a dead end terrace.
Along this central spine are two elevated three-way junctions, one less orthogonal than the other. The arm branching off here heads towards the other London Wall Place building, then on to a fresh connection above Wood Street. One stretch of railings has been embedded with blocks of soil, from which sprouts a living wall with occasional floral infill, a bit artificial but worth a try.
This western arm is the one with the sexy wiggle, a streamlined meander to avoid the stonework of St Alphege'sChurch. Down below are the remnants of its tower, the remainder demolished after being damaged by air raids in two World Wars. Recently the ruins have been transformed into an attractive low-level seating area, all blocks and paving, which also offers the opportunity to peer through an arch into an original tiny spiral staircase.
Things to spot up on the pedway include a plaque for the Jubilee Walkway, embedded in the previous highwalk in 1977, and also several skateboard-shaped benches. These medial seats look perfect for bedding down on for the night, so I'm assuming can't yet have all their attachments in place. And yes, this 21st century pedway does indeed include a lift for those unable to tackle steps, although at present it looks a few weeks off being operational.
It's well worth following the central staircase down to explore the environs of Salters Hall, the very modern headquarters of a medieval Livery Company. Two glittering gates stand before the entrance, in front of which is an extra-deep sunken garden whose plants haven't yet properly sprung forth. Workmen are also putting the finishing touches to a water feature at the rear, some kind of trickling trough, as confirmation that the City still has money to burn.
More impressive is Salters' Garden, a revamp of the previous garden in the former churchyard, laid out with square plots, shrubbery and benches, plus triangular trellises as yet unsmothered by green spring shoots. And to one side is a substantial portion of London's city wall, its bricks not the original Roman construction but a rebuild from the time of the Wars of the Roses. As sandwich-munching spots go, it's a winner.
Which leaves the other arm of the upper pedway to explore, branching off to the east along, and above, the length of Fore Street. It's not as scenic, but it does stretch a fair way, and will stretch even further once building is complete. For now descent is via steps, or would-be-lift, along what feels like the most traditionally pedway-style section. The gateline-free Fore Street entrance to Moorgate station lies below the eventual exit.
It's good to see the renaissance of the City's highwalks, once again separating pedestrians from traffic via an evocative elevated maze. Should you have a spare lunchbreak you could pop down for a look around, although St Alphege's Highwalk isn't really a visitor destination in its own right. Its real success is as infrastructure not architecture, remaking connections previously lost, via walkways in the sky.
The Ideal Home Show, formerly the Ideal Home Exhibition, has been running most years since 1908. This year it's packing them in at Olympia, on account of Earl's Court being demolished, between the Saturday before last and next Monday. I assume most of those piling inside paid for the privilege, perhaps using one of the many cut price admission deals, but I grabbed a weekday ticket for nothing using a special backdoor offer for nextdoor.
The Eat and Drink Festival, allegedly "the capital's biggest and best culinary celebration", has been running at Olympia since 2017. It's accessed via the less accessible end of the complex, as befits its junior status, and mixes street food, sales pitches and demonstrations. If you've ever wanted to watch a salesman slice a frilly carrot with their magic knife, or buy airtight tops for every type of food jar, or sample a four course meal blended in a food mixer, perhaps you'll agree with the publicity that this is "foodie heaven".
All your favourite celebrity chefs turn up, not to mention the odd mixologist, but they don't turn up very often and more than likely you'll be left watching some minor chef knocking something up on a hob in ten minutes. I caught the last few minutes of an unsung bloke stuffing a ham hock, but mainly talking about himself, then hung around while a high street pasta chain cooked a carbonara. Their spiel was excellent, from a marketing point of view, and they won us over by handing out free wine while we watched, but I realised afterwards I'd learnt far more about their restaurant menu than the dish itself.
I also squeezed in for a session at The Drinks Station, essentially a cluster of barrel seating with a stage in front, where a chancer from Manchester had come to flog his gin. Again, nobody in the audience genuinely cared about his mid-palate botanicals, nor the lengthy plug for his bespoke distillery experience, but they did willingly knock back the free samples, delivered in plastic thimblefuls delivered to our tables repeatedly throughout. By ingratiating myself at several of the stalls nearby I also managed to consume a fair dose of low-calorie lager, several chunks of unusual cheese and a swig of Kendal Mint Cake Liqueur.
Exhibits from a Royal Wedding Cake competition were laid out across two tables, the least successful of which had attempted to model the royal couple in marzipan or icing. Elsewhere a wide choice of street food was available, although nothing especially over and above what some of London's regular weekly markets have to offer. Given the size of a human stomach nobody could sample even a quarter of what was on offer, and to do so would have cost far more than a full-price ticket, but many visitors availed themselves of the opportunity to chomp grilled meat and/or vegan wraps while a busker played inoffensive tunes on a central podium.
But quite frankly the best thing about the Eat and Drink Festival is that it's connected to the Ideal Home Show proper, and there was ten times as much of that to explore. Two of Olympia's great halls have been stuffed with stalls, displays and showcases, with additional companies slotted in around the upper balconies. This bourgeois bazaar includes everything from bubbling hot tubs and burglar alarms to a showman using a ceramic cutaway to demonstrate his revolutionary toilet cleaning brush. I fully expected some candidates from The Apprentice to wander over at any moment, but seemingly all of those selling mini-massagers and magnetic canine collars were 100% genuine.
All the big stuff is downstairs, divided into Gardens, Interiors and Home Renovation. Not having a garden, that was one whole section I didn't really have to bother with, plus I doubt most visitors have space in theirs for a safari-sized outdoor dining lodge or a full-sized hydropool. In fact a lot of Interiors and Home Renovation proved irrelevant too, given that my landlord decides what kitchen worktop I have and whether the double glazing needs redoing. It struck me that the average London renter isn't going to find much to splash out on here, and that this is really the Ideal Home Counties Show, as the circulating audience of grey-haired couples and chummy ladies confirmed.
I did queue for a peek inside the central showhome, just as I remember doing forty years ago, although the internal raison d'être has changed somewhat in that time. This year's two-storey detached isn't exemplifying good interior design, it's plugging British Gas's smart thermostat system, so every room has labels telling you about some electronic gizmo which could make your life warmer, or more efficient, so long as you shell out £20 a month for a subscription. Nevertheless the bottle-blonde lady following me round took every opportunity to slag off the decor, telling her friend how she didn't like the furniture and why the blinds were awful and how everything was much too dark. Not for nothing did the Daily Mail sponsor the Ideal Home Exhibition for many years.
Close by is the Super Theatre, an open-air space with limited benches, where "all your favourite celebrities" appear hourly. I got Calum Best, who slipped almost effortlessly from telling his lifestory to an attempt to shift his £23 mindfulness-optimised fitness journal. Upstairs his assistant sat silently on her oversized stall, surrounded by umpteen unsold embossed copies. I came back to see Martin Roberts laugh a lot about what it was like to be the man from Homes Under The Hammer, and how amazing he was on I'm A Celebrity, for as long as I could stand. But I couldn't be bothered to hang around to hear Martin Lewis offer his money-saving tips, and thankfully I came on the wrong day for Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen.
For a true peek into the British psyche, however, nothing beats The Distribution Of The Goody Bags. A few times a day free carrier bags of swag are dished out from designated points, and a mammoth queue builds up well in advance because everyone loves something for nothing. Those who get to the front of the queue before the supply runs out walk no more than five steps before pausing to check what amazing stuff they've been given, then continue round the exhibition proudly dangling their haul by their side. I waited less than ten minutes for mine, by picking the much-quieter of the two locations, and can confirm that those in the gargantuan line probably shouldn't have wasted their time.
The Ideal Home Show Goody Bag 2018
» 1 litre of barista-blend dairy-free almond drink
» 3 sugar-heavy cranberry and almond cereal bars
» 1 tub child-friendly mild korma cooking sauce
» 1 packet Colombian-seasoned corn coating mix
» 1 coconut-dipped Raffaello chocolate (wrapped)
» 1 tea bag (and a voucher for £1 off sixteen more)
» Free sample of Sanex 24 hour hydration lotion
» Flyer for German self-watering planters
» Application form to join the National Trust
All in all I enjoyed a fascinating few hours at Olympia, observing how the other half live and learning how to fend off the forceful overtures of salespeople. I chose not to walk away with a magic mop, a bottle of Shetland vodka or a lint removal device, instead focusing on the freebies, and musing on how uncommercial my home life has become. I'm unconvinced I'll be going back next year, but if you ever do, know that midweek rather than the weekend crush is the ideal way to go.
Londoners love a drink, be that be that from a cosy local, a cool cocktail bar or a secret speakeasy. So it comes as no surprise that Sadiq Khan has just launched his very own liquid brand - Mayorswater - which is now available from a pop-up dispensary in the heart of the West End.
Mayorswater is an attempt to tackle the greatest scourge facing our capital today, the menace of bottled water. The average Londoner buys more than three bottles of water a week, many of which are thoughtlessly discarded, contributing to environmental disaster on a planetary scale. Mayorswater is an attempt to break the shackles of screwtop addiction by providing free bottle-less water where it's most needed, and not a moment too soon!
Mayorswater can be sampled from this exciting new drinking fountain in depths of Soho. Elegantly installed, and minimally signed, passers-by are sure to deduce the true purpose of the stylish green device and nip in for a squirt. Simply place the refillable bottle you always carry with you under the nozzle, press the big silver button and await liquid nirvana. One thing's for certain, this is a sure-fire solution to the issue of plastic waste.
A smart touch is that the water issues forth relatively slowly, in a torrent barely a centimetre in diameter, so expect to be stood here for some time. Use this enforced hiatus in your daily schedule to bring some much-needed mindfulness to your life. Perhaps muse on the damage microplastic is doing to the marine environment, and how you're now helping to prevent this, or smile at the realisation you've just saved £1.29 by not buying your usual glacier-filtered isotonic brand.
Mayorswater is a movement whose time has come, a truly eco-friendly crusade to champion sustainability in this throwaway age. It was particularly exciting yesterday to see the media turn up in force at the new fountain, filming the electric spout in action and engaging in interviews with key spokespeople. Passers-by watched open-mouthed as one cameraman was given a free metal water bottle emblazoned with the #oneless brand logo, handed over inside an entirely unnecessary cardboard box, thereby perfectly embodying the campaign's core values.
To fully appreciate the Mayor's liquid revolution it's important to sample the gushing stream for yourself. Mayorswater has a crystal clear taste, zinging the palate with clean neutral flavours. It bears the hallmark of the very finest London tapwater, but without the inconvenience of requiring a tap, or having to be at home to drink it. Sip deeply and savour the refreshing brew, expertly compiled by the capital's finest mixologists, and enjoy the complete absence of aftertaste as the water glides smoothly down your throat.
Thus far Mayorswater is only available in one unique location, namely Kingly Court off Carnaby Street. This iconic three-storey alfresco destination is packed with cafes and dining establishments, indeed there are numerous places to buy expensive drinks within a few steps of the fountain. How astute of the Mayor to provide a free alternative to the rum, bubble tea and berry smoothies the surrounding businesses sell, kickstarting a sea change in planet-friendly behaviour overnight.
Dr Heather Koldewey, #OneLess campaign Director and Head of Marine and Freshwater Conservation at ZSL said: “London is a coastal city, connected to the ocean by the River Thames. Every day the ocean sends oxygen, weather, fresh water and wildlife into the heart of our city through the Thames and every day we send plastic debris back. The #OneLess ‘refill revolution’ will make a huge impact in reducing this plastic blight and London is leading the way in finding the means to enable it.”
Kingly Court is a busy location that almost all Londoners pass in the course of their daily perambulations. Every thirsty soul walking along Carnaby Street will instantly be drawn through the tiny alleyway and into the food court, telepathically beguiled by the presence of the unlabelled fountain. Convenience will be the watchword as news of Mayorswater's West End debut breaks, and consumption of pre-bottled water collapses overnight. Expect long queues.
A massive three additional locations are scheduled to receive Mayorswater fountains by the summer, only two of which will be in the same place. Punters at Liverpool Street station and Flat Iron Square in Southwark can expect the same pioneering dispensers to appear in their environs, tackling the existing hydration crisis head on. Just imagine how four water fountains will change their lives, and yours, and that of innumerable marine creatures oceanwide.
The Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, said: “To get a grip on needless plastic waste we need to provide simple ways of refilling and accessing free water, and water fountains are the much-needed solution. For years public water fountains have been disappearing from London’s streets; I want to hear from land owners in some of London’s most-visited locations so we can continue returning them to the capital.”
And there's more to come! The Mayor wants 16 other fountains up and running by the end of the year, so is seeking help from London's business community to enable installation going forward. Fully accessible high footfall sites are required, and interested parties are already being encouraged to go online and express an interest. Successful bidders will get their own drinking fountain to keep, and ultimately fund, and become part of the refill revolution sweeping the capital.
Imagine the transformation when rollout is complete and London boasts an initial network of up to 20 sites. With almost one drinking fountain per borough, eight million Londoners need never again feel obliged to buy bottled water. The capital is reverting back to its refill heritage, transitioning to a city where using a replenishable water bottle is the new norm.
And all of this is thanks to Mayorswater, the £50,000 campaign that's already making a genuine difference to how Londoners think about hydration. Carnaby Street's fresh new fountain is certain to be a transparent success, and the future is no longer so hard to swallow.
