It can't have escaped your notice that the new Harry Potter book is finally published at one minute past midnight on Saturday. It's been a three year wait for the fans, but they'll soon have 768 pages to read, re-read, dissect and analyse. J K Rowling has been particularly secretive about the plot, but she has released a couple of short extracts as a teaser. What might the adolescent Harry have on his mind in this new volume? Could it be any of the following?
"The hottest day of the summer so far was drawing to a close and a drowsy silence lay over the large, square houses of Privet Drive. The only person left outside was a teenage boy who was lying flat on his back in a flowerbed outside number four."
a) "Oh my head," said Harry. "Even my magic powers are no match for three pints of Snakebite."
b) "I hope that's long enough in the sun," said Harry. "Hermione's bound to fancy me if I get a really good tan."
c) "I'm such a rebel," thought Harry. "But I hope Uncle can't smell this roll-up when I go back indoors."
"Dumbledore lowered his hands and surveyed Harry through his half-moon glasses. 'It is time,' he said, 'for me to tell you what I should have told you five years ago, Harry. Please sit down. I am going to tell you everything.'"
a) "Good," said Harry. "It's about time we had sex education classes."
b) "It's Real Madrid, said Dumbledore. "They want to buy you for £25 million"
c) "Hang on", said Harry, "book one was set only four years ago, not five." "I know," said Dumbledore. "I always was rubbish at maths."