diamond geezer

 Friday, February 04, 2011

London 2012Like me, you were probably very excited to hear that Heineken are to be the Official Lager Supplier to the London 2012 Olympics. I know you've never seen any Olympic athletes drinking any lager, but that doesn't matter. This isn't about sport, it's about what alcoholic beverages the customer service operatives at London 2012 can serve up to you, the cash-rich spectator. These will be the Games that other beers cannot reach, because you'll only be able to order Heineken. Plus other major Heineken UK brands such as Foster's, Strongbow, Bulmers, John Smith's and Kronenbourg 1664. And maybe even speciality Heineken UK brands such as Tiger, Amstel, Jacques, Newcastle Brown Ale, Deuchars IPA, Murphy's, Sagres, Zywiec, McEwan's, Birra Moretti, Woodpecker and Scrumpy Jack. When you were fourteen swigging illicit Woodpecker in the local bus shelter, I bet you never dreamed you might be drinking the official apple-based intoxicant of the 2012 Olympics.

Three further reasons to be excited. Firstly because this additional sponsorship means that the UK taxpayer will have to contribute a few million less towards the running of the Olympics. Secondly because London 2012 Commercial Director Chris Townsend says so, in blustering brandspeak... "We are especially pleased to be working with Heineken, as we have a shared goal of encouraging adult visitors to our venues where alcohol is served to celebrate responsibly". And thirdly because there won't be any bottles of Becks on sale, so I've decided I won't be drinking any alcohol at the 2012 Games in protest. The queues for the toilets will no doubt be atrociously long, but I won't need to go quite so often because my bladder won't be full of official gassy piss. So that's a win.

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