diamond geezer

 Monday, April 01, 2013

Good morning, and welcome to NHS plc.

We're very proud to be taking over today as England's go-to medical operations agency.

NHS plc will bring the same dedication to service you've grown to love from the old NHS, but with a greater emphasis on choice and customer quality.

We want NHS plc to become your one-stop wellness destination, your provider of choice. That's why today sees the launch of clinical commissioning groups in local management clusters, to baseline a paradigm shift going forward.

The old National Health Service has had a good innings since it was introduced more than 60 years ago. But it was a product for a different generation - wasteful, ill-structured, over-compassionate. So we're introducing a top-down restructure that will reformulate the NHS from the roots up.

Our strategic aim is to drive down operating costs through supply based consolidation whilst leveraging group spend to provide robust, scalable services. According to our market research, that's what you want too.

Put simply, our new market-based approach prioritises delivery over outcomes, efficiency over waste, and excellence over need. That means patients will get what they deserve more quickly, and the country will squander less of its valuable resources in the process. No right-minded citizen could disagree.

We can no longer afford to dole out non-essential treatments to those who contribute nothing to society. Why should the workshy jump the queue in A&E? Why should the obese be prescribed unnecessary treatments? Why should the disabled take millions out of a system without paying sufficient back? Today's changes to the system are the first steps towards prioritising care for those who deserve it. It's only fair.

Don't worry, the basics of free healthcare will continue for all. If you're injured or dying, of course we'll fix you. If you have chronic need, our contractors will be there. But for less life-critical conditions and for optional enhancements, additional charges may apply. Rest assured, our consultants will rest at nothing to bring you the healthcare your investment deserves.

To incentivise engagement, and to reward thrift, we'll be offering lifetime NHS subscriptions based on small monthly contributions. If you'd like to top-up by paying a little extra, that'd be great. If your National Insurance is up to date, all well and good. But for those on benefits who pay nothing into the system, expect to wait a little longer and to get a little less.

This bold healthcare solution acts by bringing on board our friends and partners in the private sector. Many of these companies already clean your streets, staff your call centres and service your town halls. Their involvement is absolutely nothing to be concerned about. Only by embracing competition can we rescue NHS employees from a life of waste in the public sector. By shifting staff onto looser contracts, and with a ruthless focus on target-setting, even greater savings can be reinvested where it really matters.

Think of this not as a change but a behavioural nudge. If you need us, we'll be here. Even better, we'll promise a full money-back guarantee if you die in our care, which is something the old NHS never offered.

Transformation is never easy. But in this case it's been a damned sight easier than we'd ever have hoped. Thank you for your compliance.

1. You can now make a first contribution to your new Personal Health Account by signing up here.
2. If you're able to put aside a small amount each week, you'll find future treatment becomes easier.
3. You may find that your local hospital closes. Don't worry, this is to improve overall standards of care.
4. Universal Credit vouchers may not be spent on Emergency Healthcare Top-Ups.
5. We're making a payment exception for our armed forces. They deserve free premium care for life, obviously.
6. Those on benefits no longer have the right to a hospital room of their own, not unless they pay more.
7. This is absolutely not a backdoor privatisation. However, we will be offering enhanced treatment to shareholders.
8. From today, subscribers can dial 911 to obtain access to a faster emergency callout.
9. You may not notice the changes we're making until you next need our services. That's all well and good, because we want to embed efficient new practices beneath the surface with a minimum of fuss.
10. Think of this more as long-term treatment than invasive surgery. But there's no going back, not after today.

Tomorrow: BMI, AXA, HCA, BUPA, Spire, Circle, Virgin, Ramsay, Nuffield
Today: BMJ, London, Express, BBC Q&A, Telegraph, Independent, Bromley-by-Bow
Yesterday: July 1948, July 1998, July 2012, BBC collection, a short history

<< click for Newer posts

click for Older Posts >>

click to return to the main page

...or read more in my monthly archives
Jan21  Feb21
Jan20  Feb20  Mar20  Apr20  May20  Jun20  Jul20  Aug20  Sep20  Oct20  Nov20  Dec20
Jan19  Feb19  Mar19  Apr19  May19  Jun19  Jul19  Aug19  Sep19  Oct19  Nov19  Dec19
Jan18  Feb18  Mar18  Apr18  May18  Jun18  Jul18  Aug18  Sep18  Oct18  Nov18  Dec18
Jan17  Feb17  Mar17  Apr17  May17  Jun17  Jul17  Aug17  Sep17  Oct17  Nov17  Dec17
Jan16  Feb16  Mar16  Apr16  May16  Jun16  Jul16  Aug16  Sep16  Oct16  Nov16  Dec16
Jan15  Feb15  Mar15  Apr15  May15  Jun15  Jul15  Aug15  Sep15  Oct15  Nov15  Dec15
Jan14  Feb14  Mar14  Apr14  May14  Jun14  Jul14  Aug14  Sep14  Oct14  Nov14  Dec14
Jan13  Feb13  Mar13  Apr13  May13  Jun13  Jul13  Aug13  Sep13  Oct13  Nov13  Dec13
Jan12  Feb12  Mar12  Apr12  May12  Jun12  Jul12  Aug12  Sep12  Oct12  Nov12  Dec12
Jan11  Feb11  Mar11  Apr11  May11  Jun11  Jul11  Aug11  Sep11  Oct11  Nov11  Dec11
Jan10  Feb10  Mar10  Apr10  May10  Jun10  Jul10  Aug10  Sep10  Oct10  Nov10  Dec10 
Jan09  Feb09  Mar09  Apr09  May09  Jun09  Jul09  Aug09  Sep09  Oct09  Nov09  Dec09
Jan08  Feb08  Mar08  Apr08  May08  Jun08  Jul08  Aug08  Sep08  Oct08  Nov08  Dec08
Jan07  Feb07  Mar07  Apr07  May07  Jun07  Jul07  Aug07  Sep07  Oct07  Nov07  Dec07
Jan06  Feb06  Mar06  Apr06  May06  Jun06  Jul06  Aug06  Sep06  Oct06  Nov06  Dec06
Jan05  Feb05  Mar05  Apr05  May05  Jun05  Jul05  Aug05  Sep05  Oct05  Nov05  Dec05
Jan04  Feb04  Mar04  Apr04  May04  Jun04  Jul04  Aug04  Sep04  Oct04  Nov04  Dec04
Jan03  Feb03  Mar03  Apr03  May03  Jun03  Jul03  Aug03  Sep03  Oct03  Nov03  Dec03
 Jan02  Feb02  Mar02  Apr02  May02  Jun02  Jul02 Aug02  Sep02  Oct02  Nov02  Dec02 

eXTReMe Tracker
jack of diamonds
Life viewed from London E3

» email me
» follow me on twitter
» follow the blog on Twitter
» follow the blog on RSS

» my flickr photostream

twenty blogs
ian visits
blue witch
the great wen
edith's streets
spitalfields life
in the aquarium
round the island
wanstead meteo
christopher fowler
ruth's coastal walk
the ladies who bus
round the rails we go
london reconnections
dirty modern scoundrel
from the murky depths
exploring urban wastelands

quick reference features
Things to do in Outer London
Things to do outside London
Inner London toilet map
The DG Tour of Britain

read the archive
Feb21  Jan21
Dec20  Nov20  Oct20  Sep20
Aug20  Jul20  Jun20  May20
Apr20  Mar20  Feb20  Jan20
Dec19  Nov19  Oct19  Sep19
Aug19  Jul19  Jun19  May19
Apr19  Mar19  Feb19  Jan19
Dec18  Nov18  Oct18  Sep18
Aug18  Jul18  Jun18  May18
Apr18  Mar18  Feb18  Jan18
Dec17  Nov17  Oct17  Sep17
Aug17  Jul17  Jun17  May17
Apr17  Mar17  Feb17  Jan17
Dec16  Nov16  Oct16  Sep16
Aug16  Jul16  Jun16  May16
Apr16  Mar16  Feb16  Jan16
Dec15  Nov15  Oct15  Sep15
Aug15  Jul15  Jun15  May15
Apr15  Mar15  Feb15  Jan15
Dec14  Nov14  Oct14  Sep14
Aug14  Jul14  Jun14  May14
Apr14  Mar14  Feb14  Jan14
Dec13  Nov13  Oct13  Sep13
Aug13  Jul13  Jun13  May13
Apr13  Mar13  Feb13  Jan13
Dec12  Nov12  Oct12  Sep12
Aug12  Jul12  Jun12  May12
Apr12  Mar12  Feb12  Jan12
Dec11  Nov11  Oct11  Sep11
Aug11  Jul11  Jun11  May11
Apr11  Mar11  Feb11  Jan11
Dec10  Nov10  Oct10  Sep10
Aug10  Jul10  Jun10  May10
Apr10  Mar10  Feb10  Jan10
Dec09  Nov09  Oct09  Sep09
Aug09  Jul09  Jun09  May09
Apr09  Mar09  Feb09  Jan09
Dec08  Nov08  Oct08  Sep08
Aug08  Jul08  Jun08  May08
Apr08  Mar08  Feb08  Jan08
Dec07  Nov07  Oct07  Sep07
Aug07  Jul07  Jun07  May07
Apr07  Mar07  Feb07  Jan07
Dec06  Nov06  Oct06  Sep06
Aug06  Jul06  Jun06  May06
Apr06  Mar06  Feb06  Jan06
Dec05  Nov05  Oct05  Sep05
Aug05  Jul05  Jun05  May05
Apr05  Mar05  Feb05  Jan05
Dec04  Nov04  Oct04  Sep04
Aug04  Jul04  Jun04  May04
Apr04  Mar04  Feb04  Jan04
Dec03  Nov03  Oct03  Sep03
Aug03  Jul03  Jun03  May03
Apr03  Mar03  Feb03  Jan03
Dec02  Nov02  Oct02  Sep02
back to main page

the diamond geezer index
2020 2019 2018 2017 2016
2015 2014 2013 2012 2011
2010 2009 2008 2007 2006
2005 2004 2003 2002

my special London features
a-z of london museums
E3 - local history month
greenwich meridian (N)
greenwich meridian (S)
the real eastenders
london's lost rivers
olympic park 2007
great british roads
oranges & lemons
random boroughs
bow road station
high street 2012
river westbourne
trafalgar square
capital numbers
east london line
lea valley walk
olympics 2005
regent's canal
square routes
silver jubilee
unlost rivers
cube routes
Herbert Dip
capital ring
river fleet

ten of my favourite posts
the seven ages of blog
my new Z470xi mobile
five equations of blog
the dome of doom
chemical attraction
quality & risk
london 2102
single life
april fool

ten sets of lovely photos
my "most interesting" photos
london 2012 olympic zone
harris and the hebrides
betjeman's metro-land
marking the meridian
tracing the river fleet
london's lost rivers
inside the gherkin
seven sisters

just surfed in?
here's where to find...
diamond geezers
flash mob #1  #2  #3  #4
ben schott's miscellany
london underground
watch with mother
cigarette warnings
digital time delay
wheelie suitcases
war of the worlds
transit of venus
top of the pops
old buckenham
ladybird books
acorn antiques
digital watches
outer hebrides
olympics 2012
school dinners
pet shop boys
west wycombe
bletchley park
george orwell
big breakfast
clapton pond
san francisco
children's tv
east enders
trunk roads
little britain
credit cards
jury service
big brother
jubilee line
number 1s
titan arum
doctor who
blue peter
peter pan
feng shui
leap year
bbc three
vision on
ID cards