1) It's one day shorter than January. 2) It's warmer than December. 3) It isn't February. 4) Hallowe'en's finally finished, thanks God. 5) Everyone's Twitter names can go back to normal now. 6) Pumpkins are really cheap this morning. 7) Yay, Christmas has begun! 8) We can all wear flowers for a fortnight. 9) Everybody stops for two minutes, twice. 10) The trees are still gorgeous, and not clogging the gutter yet. 11) It's time to turn the heating on for several months. 12) Or if you've got a log fire you can light that instead, lovely. 13) Mmm, crispy frozen walks with lingering mist. 14) It's Fireworks Night, and you are not a dog. 15) Whoosh! Flash! Bang! Some organised displays are still free. 16) Someone down your street will be setting off fireworks all this week. 17) Nobody begs for pennies for the guy any more. 18) It's lighter in the mornings that it was a week ago, for a bit. 19) That box of mince pies needs finishing off before its sell-by-date. 20) Hurrah, nine whole hours of Strictly! 21) By the end of the month, the X Factor will be nearly over. 22) There's some Mexican festival coming up, which basically means tequila. 23) Prince Charles turns 68 and still isn't King yet. 24) We won't be seeing the nation's tattoos for several months. 25) The Chancellor's Autumn Statement will announce marvellous news for us all. 26) Fog is brilliant for moody uber-shareable Instagram shots. 27) You won't be seeing any wasps for quite a while. 28) More pies, more soups and more hot chocolate. 29) Children In Need is a heartwarming parade of dressed-up celebrities. 30) The night sky is gorgeous, if someone can turn all the lampposts off. 31) Let's all hibernate on the sofa with Netflix and emerge in the spring. 32) Thanksgiving isn't a thing over here yet, for obvious reasons. 33) Black Friday is easily the most exciting retail day of the year. 34) Marmite will only be a few coins more expensive by the end of the month. 35) We should all buy some candles and alcohol and embrace hygge. 36) Movember means lots of wicked top lip caterpillar moustaches. 37) Sweet Potato Awareness Month seems to come round quicker every year. 38) It's really cheap to fly abroad this month, or at least it was. 39) The Lord Mayor's Show is here, and it's free, and there are more fireworks. 40) The Night Tube arrives on the Northern line on the 18th. 41) That crisp restaurant is opening in Soho. 42) The Leonids are the best meteor shower of the year, sometimes. 43) It's actually proper Christmas, in the shops anyway. 44) At least the carol singers haven't started yet. 45) There are so many fake German markets to look forward to. 46) Everybody loves wearing thick woolly sweaters. 47) It's still too early for hypothermia. 48) There's St Andrew's Day to enjoy, while Scotland are still with us. 49) Donald Trump isn't going to be elected, is he? 50) You might be in the southern hemisphere, and then it's spring!