Our updated policy explains your rights under this new law and will become effective on 24th May 2018. By continuing to use the website after this date, you agree to these updated terms, even if you haven't read them. In truth we're very much hoping you won't read them, especially item 6 subsection 3b, and will simply tick all the the boxes we present you with.
You can adjust your privacy settings, such as choosing how we communicate with you and which spam you receive, by logging into your Diamond Geezer account and changing your account preferences. The changes don’t alter what we use your personal information for, but make it easier for you to find out how we use and protect your information, and for us to exploit you with impunity.
The introduction of the GDPR provides a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to stem the flow of unnecessary messages to your inbox and social media channels, and to conceal private data you might wish to keep hidden. We're only telling you about it because we're legally obliged, as your value to us is in direct proportion to the volume of public data we have on record.
Your personal information is an important part of our service. For instance, it allows us to match you with select advertising services whenever they have offers or deals they've paid us to tell you about. If you are happy for us to do so, it also lets us get in touch with begging emails, automated phone messages and repetitive marketing filler.
The fact that the law is changing only builds on what we already do today – and that is to give your personal information the respect and security it deserves. We will never deliberately sell your private details to a third party, and are keeping our fingers crossed that our bespoke firewall will prevent wholesale theft of your personal data by a Russian botfarm.
You may already have received several messages like this from other agencies, each desperate to make an impression before the deadline. Please remember, however, that this is the most important GPDR message, certainly from our point of view, and we would be obliged if you would treat it with the seriousness we think it deserves.
You do not need to take any action. However, we are literally begging you to allow us to carry on using your personal information as we have before, because without direct consent your digital footprint is of no monetary value to us.
Because this is the eleventh paragraph in an already long email, we are very much hoping that your eyes have already glazed over and so you won't spot the possibility of opting-out from all future communications. Before you take such a drastic step, however, consider the remote possibility that one of our marketing emails might one day be of tangential relevance to your life, and think again.
If you would like to defer opting-out from specific data options, be sure never to not untick the relevant box.
I have read the terms and conditions I am happy to agree with whatever you say My soul is yours