diamond geezer

 Tuesday, March 14, 2023

100 things I have done in London

1) Walked home from the Olympics.
2) Driven a forklift truck at work.
3) Attended the Ceremony of the Keys.
4) Been to the top of the Shard nine times in one year.
5) Looked down on the Shard from a helicopter.
6) Voted for an MP who actually won.
7) Sat on Matt Baker's satnav.
8) Experienced an earthquake.
9) Done jury service.
10) Been stopped by plain clothes counter-terrorism officers for taking a photo.
11) Observed a Transit of Venus.
12) Followed the Sultan's Elephant.
13) Watched the Buggles in the presence of Prince Charles.
14) Walked the London Loop.
15) Walked the Capital Ring, twice.
16) Performed on mike at Maida Vale Studios.
17) Made tea for a world record holder.
18) Laughed in the audience of a BBC4 sitcom.
19) Climbed to the very top of St Paul's Cathedral.
20) Attended an intimate meeting with an MI5 spymaster's daughter.
21) Watched a House of Commons debate.
22) Seen both of General Roy's cannons.
23) Been underground to watch Mail Rail while it was actually operational.
24) Contributed to a top dubstep DJ's leaving present.
25) Attended the first flashmob.
26) Attended the Knolly's Rose ceremony.
27) Watched the world record women's marathon performance.
28) Stood beside my celebrity crush while drinking beers in the street.
29) Given the stupidest answer to an interview question.
30) Been on an overnight car rally round the City of London.
31) Grooved at Smithfield Market while Jarvis Cocker spun the turntables.
32) Ascended to the top of the Gherkin.
33) Spotted Michael Foot out and about in Hampstead.
34) Spotted Princess Anne rounding the Bow Roundabout.
35) Spotted Michael Portillo buying a ticket at Marylebone.
36) Walked through the Thames Tunnel.
37) Been on a guided tour of Beckton Sewage Works.
38) Stood in the Blue Peter Garden.
39) Watched Arsenal win.
40) Been to the 'Golf Sale'.
41) Passed Una Stubbs on a zebra crossing.
42) Stood in Trafalgar Square for the 2012 Olympic announcement.
43) Bought my first top shelf magazine.
44) Been up Goldfinger's Trellick and Balfron towers.
45) Aged three, took my parents to Putney Bridge on the tube.
46) Been to every grid square.
47) Been to a gallery opening with the Home Secretary.
48) Stood on the roof of Millennium Mills.
49) Rode every bus route in London.
50) Got tickets for a recording of The News Quiz.
51) Stood in front of Buckingham Palace for William and Kate's balcony kiss.
52) Walked out on a blind date after the first pint.
53) Watched The Mikado at Sadlers Wells.
54) Taken a photo which made pages 12 and 13 of The Sun.
55) Spoken on Radio 4, Radio London and the World Service.
56) Shown a zoo director my internal piping.
57) Watched Angela Lansbury being dropped off by Bus Stop M.
58) Stumbled upon the Queen in Docklands.
59) Seen the National Standard Kilogram.
60) Walked through the Rotherhithe Tunnel.
61) Seen in the Millennium opposite the London Eye.
62) Rung in sick from the resuscitation table in A&E.
63) Been down Aldwych station.
64) Dined in the House of Lords Dining Room.
65) Had my photo taken with the FA Cup.
66) Walked from Heathrow Terminal 4 to Terminal 5.
67) Attended a citizenship ceremony.
68) Queued behind Ricky Gervais in Waterstones.
69) Been the random witness at a stranger's wedding.
70) Endured a pandemic.
71) Seen multiple kingfishers.
72) Spotted intergalactic dominatrix Servalan (aka Jacqeline Pearce) in Soho.
73) Performed at the Royal Festival Hall.
74) Been inside the world's first TV studio.
75) Had lunch at St Pancras with a famous London author.
76) Climbed Beckton Alp.
77) Bumped into my first shag while on a Thameslink train.
78) Received a bottle of champagne from Time Out.
79) Waited for a Central line train with Bob Crow.
80) Watched the Tour de France go by.
81) Been to the Paralympic opening and closing ceremonies.
82) Stood beside the furnace where Margaret Thatcher was cremated.
83) Watched the original run of The History Boys with Messrs Corden and Tovey.
84) Broadcast Radio 2 from my living room.
85) Had a beer on the Palace of Westminster's riverside terrace.
86) Queued behind Su Pollard buying a train ticket at Waterloo.
87) Stood in my nephew's kitchen before he did.
88) Watched three Concordes simultaneously from the office roof.
89) Bought Christmas cards while Dame Judi Dench waited behind me.
90) Sat next to Sandra Dickinson on the tube.
91) Sat opposite Jack Whitehall on the tube.
92) Crossed Westminster Bridge at night on the back of a bike.
93) Stood in the throne room at Buckingham Palace.
94) Stood in the drawing room at Clarence House.
95) Found Reggie Perrin's house.
96) Had sex in Leicester Square.
97) Become bottom-rung famous.
98) Watched Dermot O'Leary buy a jigsaw.
99) Performed at the Royal Albert Hall.
100) Lost consciousness in the Barbican.

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