| Big Smoochums luvs her little Fluffybun. Mucho cuddlesies x x | Diamonds are a girl's best friend. But maybe next year, eh?
cheapbling.com | topgal - u is da hottie, u is da bomb, luv u 4eva, big up yrself, fink ur gr8 - kewldude | Forgotten Valentine's Day? It's not too late! Romantic weekends in Hull still available
lastsecond.com | MC - I've been stalking you since 2003. Meet me outside your front door now. N |
Girls! Prove how much you love him! Spend the evening twiddling together on the X-Box
joystick.net | Ellie - I'm cheating on your husband. Every Thursday night after work. He says you're frigid. Dawn | Forgotten Valentine's Day? Better stock up on knife resistant clothing now, just in case.
thickvest.com | Alan - will you get off that bloody internet and talk to me for once?! Hilary | Does she need McMuffin? Have a romantic dinner for two at the Golden Arches tonight.
mcburgers.com |
| Pedro - You bring me to my knees. Same cubicle, same time tonight? George | Forgotten Valentine's Day? We deliver emergency chocolate body paint to your door!
choccy2U.co.uk | Smoochy Wibblechops loves his little Cutesypie. Thiiiiiis much. Luv u lots and lots xxx | It's the perfect day for syphillis, genital warts and gonorrhea! Have yourself a great VD!
stdclinic.org | roses are red, violets are blue, orchids are too expensive, so will cheap chocolates do? Dean |
Forgotten Valentine's Day? Then buy yourself a diary, you useless twat.
makeadate.com | Mr Piggywiggy wants to snuffle his Mrs Piggywiggy. Your sty or mine? | Alone again on Feb 14th? Ring our chatline on 0900 666666 and go it alone.
calls cost £5/min | Darling Fiancé - I'm planning to divorce you six months after our wedding for half your money - K | Whatever you buy her won't be good enough. So just buy something silky you can drool over.
skimpies.com |
| Snarky - tell you what, you watch Holby City tonight and I'll go down the pub - Muggle | Perfume needn't cost the earth. Ours costs 99p a bottle.
smellsofwee.com | connor - the baby's due just after our GCSEs, see you down the bikeshed for a spliff & vodka - jade | Are you sad and single? Don't worry, it's much less stressful than being sad and coupled.
samaritans.org | Brian - Let's have the wedding list at John Lewis. Will you civil partnership me? Kevin |
