Your monthly carbon tax is now due. Please pay your bill online at www.greentax.gov.uk, or swipe your Oyster card at any participating library, supermarket or recycling facility. Please try not to drive to your swipe point as you will be charged extra. Late payment may result in the capping of your June carbon ration. If you have any queries about this bill, please ring our Calcutta call centre on 91-33-2282-2334.
Standing Charges
• Breathing 30 days of CO2 @ 0.02p per breath = £86.40
• No of children in household (under 18) 2 offspring @ £275 flat rate = £550
Variable metered costs - household
• Heating 9 radiators @ 5 hours per day = £31.50
» » » Fixed penalty for turning thermostat above 18°C £40
» » » Fixed penalty for using patio heater 6 hours @ 17p per minute = £61.20
» » » Fixed penalty for leaving curtains open at night = £2
~ Tax credit for wearing extra clothing 2 woolly jumpers and a balaclava = 79p
• Lighting 13 kWh illumination = £12.65
» » » Fixed penalty for using filament bulbs 3 bulbs @ £8 = £24
» » » Fixed penalty for leaving light switched on in bathroom while unoccupied = £3.75
» » » Fixed penalty for using candles 12 tealights @ 0.004 kg CO2 = 48p
• Electricity 457 kWh of evil carbon belching = £186.05
» » » Fixed penalty for leaving phone charger switched on 18 hours @ 25p/hr = £4.50
» » » Fixed penalty for leaving plasma TV on standby 13 overnights @ £1.50 = £19.50
» » » Fixed penalty for owning huge digital home cinema system = £45
» » » Fixed penalty for over-filling kettle 3786ml @ 81p per litre = £3.07
» » » Fixed penalty for reheating ready meal 2 biryanis @ 20p each = 40p
Variable metered costs - travel
• Car travel (1st car) 247.3 miles @ 29p per mile = £71.72
• Car travel (2nd car) 106.9 miles @ 99p per mile = £105.83
» » » Fixed penalty for journeys less than 1 mile 7 short journeys @ £5 = £35
» » » Fixed penalty for journeys with fewer than 2 passengers 17 offences @ £5 = £85
» » » Fixed penalty for driving on Car-free Wednesdays = £60
• Air travel 1 short haul weekend @ 517 miles = £155.10
» » » Fixed penalty for booking holiday abroad = £100
» » » Fixed penalty for looking briefly at Easyjet website = £6
» » » Fixed penalty for buying out of season cucumber flown in from South Africa = £2.99
~ Cycle tax credit 29 miles @ 15p per mile = £4.35
~ Bus tax credit 6 miles @ 7p per mile = 42p
~ Walking tax credit 11.3 miles @ 10p per mile = £1.13
TOTAL GREEN TAX PAYMENT DUE: £1685.47
Please pay promptly.
You have not been sent a paper copy of this bill.
Dear Citizen,
