Thursday, July 26, 2007
I don't know whether you've seen the latest version of London's tube map - the free leaflet available in stations - but there's something nasty on it. I'm not talking about the front cover design, because that's a big improvement on the uninspiring typographical drivel on the January version. I'm talking about the renamed station. Look, there on the Jubilee Line between Canary Wharf and Canning Town. See the station that used to be called North Greenwich? Now it has a new name. It's called
North
Greenwich
for the O2 |
There's nothing especially new about this particular station having an extended name. Back in 2000 it was labelled North Greenwich for the Dome. Somehow it seemed fair to name the station, temporarily, after a one-off Government white elephant. But now we have a station named after a commercial venture. More to the point, now we have a station named after a commercial venture named after a mobile phone company. A double-advert abomination. On Harry Beck's iconic tube map. The mucky world of global branding now appears in New Johnston font. It's unforgivable.
So let's have more. Let's cover the tube map in blatant adverts. Nobody seems to mind, so why not? If it's going to cost a fortune to renovate the Underground, why don't we pay for all the necessary improvements by selling off station names to the highest bidder? Here are a few suggestions to kick things off.
Bond Street
for Selfridges | Knightsbridge
for Harrods | Baker Street
for Madame Tussauds | Canons Park
for Eddy's Kebab Shop |
Marble Arch
for Vodafone | Oxford Circus
for Apple | West Ham
for Costcutter Express | Brent Cross
for Brent Cross |
Swiss Cottage
for that crap pub that
looks a bit like a chalet | Stratford
for a shopping mall
full of pound shops | Wembley Park
for London's second
best music venue | Elephant & Castle
for that hideous pink
shopping centre |
Kew Gardens
for big plants | Ladbroke Grove
for Carnival | St Paul's
for God | Camden Town
for goth |
West Hampstead
for Mr Gingham's
sandwich bar | Ruislip Gardens
for Annie's
Dry Cleaning | Bow Road
for Mr Patel's
newspaper kiosk | ??????
for ?????? |
I'm sure you can do better. Here's an (uncorrupted) map to help you out. Stick your ideas in the comments box, and I'll add the best here later.
10pm update
Finchley Road
for the other O2 | Pimlico
for Tate Britain | Southfields
for Wimbledon | Paddington
for Heathrow Airport |
Blackhorse Road
for absolutely nothing | Brixton
for Skunk & Weed | Westminster
for a peerage | Stockwell
for Heckler & Koch |
Arsenal
for Arsenal
(except on match days) | Oval for the
"This Year's
Sponsor" Oval | King's Cross
St Pancras
for Busty Candice | Mornington
Crescent for
Humphrey Lyttelton |
Warren Street
for Spearmint Rhino | the Circle Line
for Pret A Manger | Finsbury Park
for Abu Hamza | ??????
for ?????? |
Any more?
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