diamond geezer

 Friday, December 04, 2009

Some evenings, when I get home late, I'm faced with a choice. Do I sit down and write a blog post for the morning? Or do I sit down and work through my email inbox? Usually the blog wins, and my inbox festers. But this time I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone and reply to my emails online. Win win.

To: Desperate Dave [mailto:desperate.dave@guava.com]
RE: Enquiry

You are absolutely correct. My blog does does not currently feature links to any airport parking sites. There is a good reason for this. Now please go away.

To: BW [mailto:g55@bw.net]
RE: New Comment Posted to 'Printer question'

My condolences on the death of your most excellent 20th century printer. If you ever find a better machine as a replacement I'll be surprised. But yes, I'm sure I could find those three spare ink cartridges an appropriately-priced home (especially at this card-printing season of the year).
P.S. Whatever you do don't post them, because they'll never fit through my designed-by-cretins letterbox.

To: Stephen Cohen [mailto:busstopquery@hotmail.com]
RE: bus stops

Thank you for your kind words. To be honest I'm not sure what the average distance between London bus stops actually is, but I'd have thought it was about 200-300m, just like you have in Toronto. Sometimes they're further apart than that, especially out of town, but 200m sounds a standard-ish distance the world over. I'm sure one of my readers will know.

To: Louise S [mailto:louise@training.gov.uk]
RE: Skills for London Awards

I asked you three weeks ago to stop sending me PR emails about apprenticeships, apprenticeship training and apprenticeship-related news stories. Why are you still sending them? Please stop.

To: JL [mailto:jl@yahoo.com]
RE: Saturday event - Odeon Leicester Square

I'm not sure I'll be up and about as early as 10:30am, sorry, but I guess the Compton Organ doesn't get played in public very often. Any idea what the silent film will be? A Christmassy themed movie would seem appropriate.

To: Sam [mailto:sam@newonlinemagazine.co.uk]
RE: This might be of interest

I can see you've put a lot of effort into producing your online magazine. I'm sure you're very excited about your relaunch. But when I loaded up your website it crashed my browser. Probably best I don't mention this on my blog, eh?
P.S. No I am not related to gamesmaster.

To: no-reply [mailto:no-reply@tickets.con.uk]
RE: Confirmation of Booking 10204588

Three weeks ago I paid you thirty pounds for New Year tickets, which your automated system said would arrive by Standard Post. You even charged me an extra two quid for the privilege. Have you not sent the tickets yet? Or are they lost in the post? Or are you just incompetent? Yours sincerely.

To: undisclosed recipents [mailto:everyone@else.com]
RE: Sorry I haven't replied

Either I was really touched by what you wrote and I just haven't got round to saying so yet. Or what you said was sort of interesting but not really, and I have no idea what to say in response. Or your blatant attempt at self-promotion has gone straight into my Deleted Items folder. You know which of the three options it is.


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