Wednesday, January 01, 2014
A look ahead to London in 2014
Jan: 12 closed fire stations are promptly reopened as hostels for the flood of Bulgarian and Romanian migrants we're expecting any day now.
Feb: Persistent fog closes London Heathrow for a fortnight, and the economy doesn't collapse, so the third runway is cancelled.
Mar: London Live TV begins on channel 8. Most Londoners watch it for at least eight minutes before returning to non-local programming.
Apr: The Duke of Edinburgh officially opens Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park while his wife recovers from a paper cut inflicted while opening her birthday cards.
May: The Government drops HS2, but continues with plans to demolish large parts of Camden because it'll make lovely flats.
Jun: The Mill Hill East branch of the Northern line is rebranded Branson's Finchley Flyer, running from Virgin Mill Hill East to Virgin Finchley Central over the "stratospheric" Dollis Brook Viaduct.
Jul: Stage 3 of the Tour de France is diverted via the Bow Roundabout for extra challenge.
Aug: The Notting Hill Carnival is forcibly relocated to Outer London as part of a continuing unspoken social plan.
Sep: The borough of Bromley uses Scottish devolution as a diplomatic loophole to declare independence from London.
Oct: Time Out drops its listings in favour of becoming a fashion and grooming bible (with the occasional cocktails pullout).
Nov: Underground ticket offices are relaunched as McDonalds Coffee-u-like outlets (a clause in the lease forbids the selling of tickets, obviously)
Dec: The New Year Fireworks at the London Eye are replaced by laser beams visible only on television, which saves a few bob.
...or read more in my monthly archives
Jan17 Feb17 Mar17 Apr17 May17 Jun17 Jul17 Aug17 Sep17 Oct17 Nov17
Jan16 Feb16 Mar16 Apr16 May16 Jun16 Jul16 Aug16 Sep16 Oct16 Nov16 Dec16
Jan15 Feb15 Mar15 Apr15 May15 Jun15 Jul15 Aug15 Sep15 Oct15 Nov15 Dec15
Jan14 Feb14 Mar14 Apr14 May14 Jun14 Jul14 Aug14 Sep14 Oct14 Nov14 Dec14
Jan13 Feb13 Mar13 Apr13 May13 Jun13 Jul13 Aug13 Sep13 Oct13 Nov13 Dec13
Jan12 Feb12 Mar12 Apr12 May12 Jun12 Jul12 Aug12 Sep12 Oct12 Nov12 Dec12
Jan11 Feb11 Mar11 Apr11 May11 Jun11 Jul11 Aug11 Sep11 Oct11 Nov11 Dec11
Jan10 Feb10 Mar10 Apr10 May10 Jun10 Jul10 Aug10 Sep10 Oct10 Nov10 Dec10
Jan09 Feb09 Mar09 Apr09 May09 Jun09 Jul09 Aug09 Sep09 Oct09 Nov09 Dec09
Jan08 Feb08 Mar08 Apr08 May08 Jun08 Jul08 Aug08 Sep08 Oct08 Nov08 Dec08
Jan07 Feb07 Mar07 Apr07 May07 Jun07 Jul07 Aug07 Sep07 Oct07 Nov07 Dec07
Jan06 Feb06 Mar06 Apr06 May06 Jun06 Jul06 Aug06 Sep06 Oct06 Nov06 Dec06
Jan05 Feb05 Mar05 Apr05 May05 Jun05 Jul05 Aug05 Sep05 Oct05 Nov05 Dec05
Jan04 Feb04 Mar04 Apr04 May04 Jun04 Jul04 Aug04 Sep04 Oct04 Nov04 Dec04
Jan03 Feb03 Mar03 Apr03 May03 Jun03 Jul03 Aug03 Sep03 Oct03 Nov03 Dec03
Jan02 Feb02 Mar02 Apr02 May02 Jun02 Jul02 Aug02 Sep02 Oct02 Nov02 Dec02