| The Every Day News | The nation has spoken, claims defiant minister | Brexit outcome is obvious, says politician | Brexit proposal infuriates half the population |
| President wakes and tweets garbled fury | President suggests insane clampdown | President contradicts himself, and reality | White House in disarray, claims media |
| Opposition hints that things are imperfect | No easy solution to please everyone, says PM | Scotland says it thinks differently to England | Poll definitely predicts result of next election |
| Another part of the NHS isn't working | Scientific discovery expected to change lives | New figures suggest lifestyle change | Criminal sentenced for doing bad thing |
| Migration issues seemingly unsolvable | EU leader's comment proves controversial | Foreign election may swing unexpectedly | Incident confirms Middle East no closer to peace |
| Social care funding crisis set to continue | Rail strike misery enters another week | Deeper cuts in local services inevitable | Long-term outlook for millennials is bleak |
| Stock market heads in opposite direction | Falling pound is excellent for some | Falling pound is ghastly for others | Financial situation less clear than it seemed |
| Small child almost dies in UK city | Briton dies in country you might holiday in | Six die in nearby developed country | Hundreds die in country nobody’s interested in |
| Unseasonable weather is on the way | UK to be warmer than another part of the world | Bad weather may be sign of global warming | Natural catastrophe looks great on camera |
| Top player may or may not play in next game | Sports team beats opponents as expected | Sports team loses unexpectedly to opponents | Sports manager under pressure after bad match |
| Singer from 1960s pop group dies | Actor from 1970s sitcom dies | 1980s entertainer not what he seemed | Much loved artist diagnosed with disease |
| Unshakeable marriage ends in divorce | Singer wears revealing dress to restaurant | New film released - stars say it will be good! | Celebrity spotted looking older than she used to |
| Pet acts adorably while being filmed | Look, people are being hilarious on Twitter | Real life proves stranger than real life | Press release makes exciting claims |
| Hundreds takes offence at woman's actions | Thousands takes offence at man's opinions | Alleged racist makes allegedly racist comments | BREAKING: President says something mad again |
