| SUN | MON | TUE | WED | THU | FRI | SAT |
29
Advent Sunday
It’s no longer too early to play Mariah Carey, the Pogues and Wham on daytime radio. |
30
Cyber Monday
Get clicking because life now comes in packets, boxes and cartons, two days later. |
1
Final day of staying at home and only going out for essential reasons, honest. |
2
St Unlock's Day
Hurrah, time to get back out there and start your Christmas shopping… |
3
…or join the queue for the pub, or try in vain to find a seat in a restaurant… (not Tier 3, sorry) | 4
…or wait to get your hair cut, or stop jogging round the park and go back to the gym. |
5
First chance in months to watch your football team hammered to a miserable defeat. |
6
All slots for Xmas delivery are now taken, so you’re going to have to risk buying your turkey in person. |
7
Umpteenth final Brexit deal deadline fast approaching. |
8
The Double Issue Radio Times is out today. It might even be worth buying a copy this year. |
9
If you intend to bubble over Xmas, today’s the day to cut your social interaction to a minimum… |
10
…seriously, that’s the official advice, but don’t expect to hear any ministers speak the words out loud. | 11
It’s fine, there never was going to be an office party this year. |
12
St Boris's Day
One year since the Tories’ election landslide, and what a capable bunch they’ve proved to be. |
13
This year’s must-have gifts are hand sanitiser and a Pfizer vaccine appointment. |
14
US Electoral College meets, and hopefully puts Trump to bed for good. |
15
Praying never to see the John Lewis advert ever again. |
16
St Retier's Day
If you’ve been good the Xmas fairy will put you in a lower tier (or if you’ve been bad, a higher one). |
17
When carol singers come to your door, this year you can legitimately ignore them. |
18
Courier overload means your gifts won’t be delivered in time for Christmas, sorry. |
19
St Rictly's Day
General consensus that the wrong dancer won (so at least something about 2020 is normal). |
20
All the small turkeys have sold out (and it’ll take you ages to get through a large one). |
21
Last day to post Christmas cards to people you haven’t seen since March. |
22
Nine months on, here comes the lockdown baby boom. What were the optimists thinking? |
23
St Bubble's Day
Hurrah, it’s time to head home and deliver a unique gift to your family. Don’t hug Granny!
|
24
Christmas Eve
Blimey we’ve missed this! Jokes, board games and home cooking. Don’t hug Granny!
|
25
Christmas Day
Time to wave at the rest of the family on Zoom. Dammit, hugged Granny.
|
26
Boxing Day
Already a bit bored of living with other people, so sneak off to the sales instead. |
27
Bubble's End
Half the population piles onto the roads or into rail replacement buses. |
28
Bank Holiday
Back to being stuck at home alone for months (and the last five days probably extended that). |
29
Tentative reappearance of holiday ads (but expect to be in the slow passport queue). |
30
Granny texts to say she has a persistent cough. Never mind, it was great to see her one last time. |
31
St Brexit's Eve
Panic buying at UK supermarkets before all the cheese, bacon and tomatoes run out. |
1
St Brexit's Day
Day one of Britain’s next crisis, avoidably superimposed on top of the current one. |
2
You’ve assumed for months that 2020 was as bad as it gets. You may have assumed wrong… |
