Yesterday I went on a trip to Southend.
By my calculations I've blogged about a trip to Southend atleasteighttimes, so I doubt you want to hear about the place again.
However, let me offer you the opportunity...
Here are four Southendy places I visited yesterday, along with a brief description.
I will write in more detail about one of the four, but only one.
You get to vote which one you'd like to hear more about.
The vote is over here on Twitter.
Whichever has the most votes by 1pm gets the extra text.
If you're not on Twitter, sorry.
Please trust those who are to get it right.
1pm update: Walk number 1 wins, so have five extra paragraphs.
1) A walk from Benfleet to Leigh-on-Sea(39%)
Head up the lane into the country park where the estuarine views are excellent, then try to find your way into the mountain bike circuit and dodge the scramblers, then go for tea in The Hub where half of Essex takes its young cyclists to tire them out, then descend through the middle of a ruined castle dodging a kickabout.
The first path leads off Station Road in Benfleet, near the gossipping geezers, and ploughs onto the clay escarpment of Hadleigh Country Park. You could take the lower path - it's only 3½ miles to escape at the next station - but far better to veer left and climb into panoramic woodland. The view soon opens up to reveal Canvey below, the cranes of London Gateway upstream, the occasional refinery and the Isle of Grain unglittering on the far side of the estuary. It's worth a pause to gawp and stare, then continue along one of the shady tracks that undulate along the hillside shielded by budding spring growth. So this is nice.
Eventually a gate provides access to a grassy down that once had its day in history when it provided the setting for the mountain biking course for the 2012 Olympics. The legacy is a free-to-use trail with three levels of difficulty - far more welcoming than the lumpy afterthought in E20 - surrounded by an attractivehillsidepasture for ambling and rambling... just mind the occasional swish of tyres. Near the prow of the hill are three podiums coloured gold, silver and bronze where you can pose for photos after whatever circuit you've chosen to follow, and at the very top a visitor centre that hires out bikes, sells reasonably-priced coffee and serves chips.
Residents of Castle Point and surrounding areas flood in at weekends, especially those with small children who like bikes or need to be encouraged to exhaustion. A mini Pump Track caters for those whose little legs aren't up to the wider challenge, a parkour section offers options for hormonal hoodies and if the rest of the family head off for a stroll Nan always can watch from the terrace. Full marks to the Salvation Army, whose land this is, for delivering a successful recreational legacy with only minor religious interventions.
Their rare breeds farm makes eastbound progress difficult, so pick between the high path and the very low path and manoeuvre round to the last chunk of rocky outcrop. This super-strategic site is the site of Hadleigh Castle, or rather what's left of Hadleigh Castle which is two drum towers and a barbican. It was built in 1215 by a local landowner and later became a favourite haunt of Edward III, but subsidence and neglect eventually left it in ruins, hence it's now the kind of place that English Heritage let you in for nothing. The former bailey is quite the spot for a picnic and a kickabout, for the perusal of flinty walls or for watching tiny trains passing across the marshes below.
The footpath continues beyond and beneath the castle, descending the Saffron Trail along a thin clay ridge. That glorious view of the estuary and the upcoming city gradually diminishes until you're back down at near-enough sea level amid flat grassy pasture. Only once you pass the first houses do you officially enter Southend-on-Sea, and even then there's still half a mile of trudging before reaching civilisation at Leigh-on-Sea station. A c2c train ticket marvellously allows you to break your journey as many times as you like on the outward and return journeys, which is how I managed three other snippety Southend walks before finally heading home.
2) A walk from Westcliff to Southend Central(20%)
Everyone's coming to the Cliffs Pavillion in April, look they've got Sandi Toksvig, China Crisis and Johnny Ball, then enjoy the floral clock in the Cliff Gardens and the municipal tulips in Prittlewell Square, but sorry the cliff lift is out of order and they say it's not damaged but won't let on when it might reopen.
3) A walk from Southend Central to Southend East(18%)
The collection of souvenirs you can buy on Southend Pier is quite limited and inexplicably includes a curling book of British Sausage Recipes for £2.25, meanwhile at Beaches Cafe/Bar/Bistro the menu propped up against the candy floss has at least two spelling mistakes, probably three, and that's all there is really.
4) A walk from Chalkwell to Leigh on Sea(24%)
The tide is out and a mile of mud is exposed, it's not a useful day to be a member of the yacht club, best grab a beer and some chips and maybe a pot of cockles and pass the afternoon at an outside table, the world and his Essex wife is here, spiralling over the Gypsy Bridge and flooding along the High Street.
