Saturday, November 25, 2023
#10004 ✅ Oddities
I spotted this sign in the Olympic Park on the approach to Stadium Island, and it's one of the most unnerving signs I've ever seen.
What the hell is wanding? Why does it need to be done to juniors? Who is the creepy character on the left? Is that a grinning CCTV camera? And why does that teddy bear look so pleased? This is our surveillance society gone mad!
Well, Junior Hammers are of course young supporters of West Ham football club, generally under 16 years of age. Wanding is a security procedure using a magnetic bat to check for undesirable items, as referenced in item 5 of the London Stadium Venue Regulations.
All customers must pass through these magnetic arches unless they have a medical reason and they must then pass through the accessible lanes and be subject to either a magnetic wand search or personal `pat down’ search.
The purple sign thus appears to be a reminder to children that they too will be searched... or more likely a reminder to Dads that their little poppet is going to be checked in case they're packing a knife... or indeed just in case Dad has tried to conceal a weapon in their seven year-old's trouser pocket.
The teddy bear is called Bubbles, as in "I'm forever blowing", and he's one of West Ham's mascots. And his fellow mascot isn't a security camera he's a hammer, indeed his given name is Hammerhead, not that this makes him any less creepy. I blame the yellow eyes which, in this context, very much engender an evil CCTV vibe.
So a logical explanation exists for it all, but that doesn't stop it from being one of the most unnerving signs I've ever seen.
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