Gift-wrapped Freddo, game of cribbage, share a box of Mr Kipling's, strip of fun photos from booth, organise a joint savings account, Crunchy Nut Corn Flakes in bed, horse riding lessons, bouquet from bloke in layby, do the washing up, turn the electric blanket up a notch, complete set of Ordnance Survey Landranger maps, Terry's Chocolate Orange, botox, pot of tea at a Morrison's cafe, organic bath salts, a stroke on the belly, Shrek's Adventure (select one set of character ears upon arrival), walk along Footpath 47, boxset of Tenko, day trip to Stoke.
Toblerone in box with appropriate slogan, round the world cruise, eggy soldiers for breakfast, pack of ribbed condoms, romantic message spelt out in plastic letters stuck to fridge, blue Slush Puppie, evening in pub that's not showing Sky Sports, Venus fly trap, sign up for the same evening class, £50 voucher to spend on soft furnishings, dress as Spider-man, cheeky garter reveal, Ferrero Rocher individually rewrapped in rose petals, posh cinema where the nachos come on crockery, trip to Heartsease Lane, night flight on the Dangleway, homemade lasagne, dedication on Radio 2, bucket of Haribo, diamond ring.
A particularly fragrant candle, tickets for both halves of The Cursed Child, tickles, bowl of cacti, get their spirit animal tattooed just beneath your navel, random hugs, impromptu Solero, a trip to the cemetery to remember, crate of tonic water, splayed out on your bed dressed only in feathers, supermarket tulips, order takeout without leaving the sofa, thatched retreat in the Cotswolds, packet of magic mushrooms to share, an extra kiss before leaving for work, offer your last Rolo, escape to Gretna, cheesy romcom and a bottle of prosecco, an unprompted finger, box of After Eights.
Swap socks, brand new double bed, burlesque tassels (in motion), huddle together birdwatching in a hide, extra marshmallow sprinkles, take a snogging selfie, sudden tube of Pringles, get their pronouns right, glowsticks on the lawn after sunset, make the lovemaking last all the way through 'Love To Love You Baby', extra cheese, finally cave in and buy them a kitten, plate of oysters, hardback book about Brutalist architecture signed by author, fill the bathroom with tealights, bunny tail, gift basket picked up last minute from local florist, Casablanca, sink silently to your knees, extra glug of Listerine.
n.b. this paragraph tried and tested
Breakfast at McDonalds, bottle of Jean Paul Gaultier, 'Love Me' teddy bear wrapped in cellophane with red paper bits, Adidas top, Titanic soundtrack CD, trip to saddlery, shopping in Milton Keynes, exchange pounds for foreign currency, new fitted sheets, French stick with bacon, QVC, pig out on champagne and truffles, snap the back of the sofa, Sliding Doors, unwrap a PlayStation, black forest gateau, walk round stud, discuss baby names, suspiciously early exit, realise they never bought you a present.
Sniff a well-worn sweater, headrubs, find the G-spot first time, one tub of ice cream two spoons, fill their tank with diesel, unexpected text message, unexpected text message ending with aubergine, run them a frothy bath, binge all of The White Lotus in one sitting, foot massage, romantic Post-Its all over the kitchen, STI check-up, turn the thermostat up one degree, cook pancakes dressed only in an apron, source an original Baywatch calendar on eBay, nap together, heart-shaped helium balloon hidden in the downstairs loo, handcuffs, a dozen overpriced roses, Viagra.
Skimpy lingerie, board games night, revisit the site of your first date, fire up the Barry White playlist, mug of Bovril before bed, declare your love through a megaphone in the local shopping mall, secret note in lunchbox, do what comes naturally, visit to PREP clinic, king-sized cookies, an extra-long rubdown in the shower, framed photo, stack of Barbara Cartland novels from charity shop, shoulder massage, extra-spicy takeaway, take an interest in their ridiculous hobby, the new Bridget Jones, lick your favourite bit, touch foreheads, practise on a Creme Egg.
n.b. this paragraph sourced from you
Bake heart-shaped cookies, bring the patient tea in bed, hunt for a last-minute card, choral evensong, post a raunchy small ad in your local paper, fly abroad, write a piss poor love poem, assemble Lego in bed, make a miniature bouquet, visit the grandparents, buy roses in her favourite colour, ignore VD and go for pints with your mates, pot plants together, use your calligraphy skills to personalise something from the craft shop, say it with mangosteens, pick up a Penguin, finger-paint, spend the night apart, bury your mother-in-law, engage in a massive argument brought about by trying to decide where to spend this very special day.
Festival tickets, anonymous card to your secret crush, do their share of the housework, overpriced meal in restaurant before being hustled out because some other couple needs the table, new heels, add whipped cream, spend a month's salary at the jewellers, snuggles, book into a Travelodge, extra Danish, goofy voicemail, dress up and re-enact your favourite scene from Call The Midwife, lipstick message on bathroom mirror, personalised keyring, volunteer together, blindfold eating challenge, flirt like you did the first time, apologise, renew your vows, finally agree to that threesome.
Roses from a garage forecourt, posh restaurant but the set menu, donation to British Heart Foundation, go to the perfume department at John Lewis and inhale, lapsang souchong, polish their boots, change your name to Shirley Valentine, box of Milk Tray delivered via window, cocktails atop the Gherkin, fresh batteries in the Rabbit, tickets for QPR versus Derby County, personalised cushion on Etsy, dark chocolate body paint, book token, feed each other from a fruit platter, night at a B&B in Barnard Castle, share a bag of chips, just another evening all by yourself, sign the divorce papers, propose.
