A lost school ID card; the Dyson bus; a newly-topless litter bin; a Cake Inn van ("we are famous for our chocolate sponge"); early morning joggerfolk; scattered taxi cards; the TfL Emergency Response Unit; horse chestnut candles; spectators off to watch the London Marathon; green Flibco bus.
I should probably write a full blogpost about the green Flibco bus.
A lady dropping Gregg's pastry crumbs into her Michael Kors handbag; the same lady leaving her coffee cup on the train floor; the same lady doing her lipstick with the aid of an actual mirror, not her phone; brown corduroy trousers; a hygiene conscious tourist tying his Dunlop suitcase to the grabpole using a plastic bag; men already wearing shorts in anticipation of heatwave; a lady carrying a single red rose; brown corduroy jacket; video with Japanese subtitles; advert for new Lynx Cherry Spritz.
The new Lynx premium fragrances are Cherry Spritz, Peach Infusion, Cocoa Velvet and Watermelon Freeze. They join Black Vanilla, Blue Lavender, Aqua Bergamot, Emerald Sage and Copper Santal. Africa remains the best seller.
Pushy mum with pushchair, wheedling me to get out of the way a split second after I'd stepped onto the train; hemp bag from yoga class in E14; fuzzy tattoo sleeve featuring poorly-drawn buxom girls and various gambling motifs; Mother's Day promotional email; Pringle sweater in lime, black and white; Cool Carrot; the Red Hedgehog; a man being violently sick onto a street tree, twice; the same man hurriedly lighting up a cigarette; the same man finishing off his cigarette and walking straight into church.
This is by far the most interesting thing I saw yesterday. "Vomitman's not seriously going to walk into church is he?" I thought, and blimey he did.
The artistes' rooms from a filmshoot being transported on the back of a trailer, one door labelled 'Crowd Make-Up', the other 'News Reporter'; the Shard in distant haze; Egg McMuffin mid-bite; inflatable bunny in pride of place alongside church's Easter Garden; twins kissing; man reading the Mail On Sunday in public; bawling toddler in West Ham top being comforted by father; bright green smoothie; parish boundary marker 1859; Dick Whittington's cat with attached planning notice.
The planning notice refers to "works to undertake cleaning, repairs and sharpening of letters to the entirety of the Whittington Stone monument, which is comprised of a 19th century commemorative stone, mid-20th century railings and a 1960s stone cat'.
Locals sunning themselves on benches outside Gail's while enjoying a pastry brunch; a billboard above the shops advertising Pears Soap; the Mona Lisa but on a t-shirt with funny eyes; yellow caravan; scummy pond; several police questioning the driver of a Bentley; consecutive temporary traffic lights; leaky exhaust pipe; terrier on a rope; a sausage roll stall (with red and yellow sauce in squeezy bottles).
Only certain parts of London can support an artisan sausage roll stall. They looked plump, thick, hot and (from a distance) unpriced.
A mum grinning into her phone, sticking out her tongue and making a noise like "bubububububa"; a man trying to take three buses home to Cheshunt; large silver roasting tray seemingly purchased from pound shop; grumpy bus driver honking at jaywalker; boy wearing a Watford top stuffing his face with a cookie; medlars £9.99 per kg; sign advertising chocolate brownie as 'Luxury Dence Decadent'; 12 Notts Forest fans in red tops and bucket hats (prior to onset of abject disappointment); tumbling wisteria; two lads off for a kickabout carrying two large bottles in a plastic bag.
I can do you a photo of the last two.
Small grey butterfly in olive tree; beggar outside station tucking into a bag of Percy Pigs; Singhsbury's; queue outside farmers' market; Jehovah's Witnesses emerging in their Sunday best; Carolina Chicken; jumper which seemed sensible this morning now draped over shoulder; half-sunk canal boat; grubby man sat at a table outside Costa but drinking canned cider; bus drivers' mess room where the two tea options are PG Tips from the machine or Tesco value teabags and a kettle.
It says a lot for the awfulness of vending machine tea that bus drivers are happier to drink Tesco's very cheapest teabags in preference.
The Quiet Night Inn; 8-year-old princess wearing tiara and sparkly dress; pressure gauge permanently reading zero; advert for stadium gig in November; as-yet untanned knees; 'World Famous Atherley Reds' sticker; beggar bursting through train carriage door to deliver his 'please help me' speech, suddenly remembering he should start it "good afternoon" rather than "good morning"; N1 Inflatable Fun; three ladies failing to give away mission leaflets while blaring out evangelical songs on a small CD player; ad campaign for Penguin classics.
To celebrate Penguin's 90th birthday 90 classic paperbacks have been republished with a minimalist red and white cover, the design of each chiming with the year each author was first published.
Stepping onto the travelator just too late to notice it isn't moving; three girls on a pink scooter outing; Liverpool fan in kit assuming this afternoon's victory is a foregone conclusion; young woman wearing a Tamagotchi round her neck like jewellery; father and son using communal ping pong table; a brief grin of delight from a carried child; homeless man asleep under a Berkeley hotel umbrella; Meatlove; Happy Van ice cream; graffiti by Silent Monkey above the railway tracks.
Silent Monkey is a regular wall-sprayer across London and also Bedford and Milton Keynes, suggesting he's not a London local. Helch had tagged the brickwork alongside, and he's thought to be from Harrow.
Teenage bike posse in session; "A One-Of-A-Kind Destination"; leopardprint blouse; London Marathon finisher looking whacked; canoodlers; seagull; sections of new bridge on the back of a boat; ladies fresh out of Abba Voyage entering the carriage singing Summer Night City; a dozen hopeful taxis; empty can of M&S Cosmo cocktail.
The costume I see most often on late middle-aged women disgorging from the Abba Arena is mid-1970s Agnetha in a blue hat and floaty white blouse.
