2nd Arsenal 4th Chelsea 10th Brentford 11th Fulham 12th Crystal Palace 14th West Ham United 17th Tottenham Hotspur
It's been a disastrous season for Arsenal who were merely the top performing London team, ten points adrift of Liverpool who were Premier League champions. Second place is a disastrously uncelebratable position and there was much rending of shirts. Arsenal were also the top performing London club in the Champions League, outstaying Aston Villa's run in the competition, but going out in the semi-finals is heartbreakingly calamitous and absolutely nobody was pleased. Second place in the Premiership does of course mean Champions League qualification for next season but past form suggests only near-excellence which will undoubtedly be utterly disappointing for everyone concerned.
Chelsea had an excellent year, ending the season two places higher than last year and qualifying for Europe and everyone was very proud.
Brentford had an excellent year, ending the season six places higher than last year and everyone was very proud.
Fulham had an excellent year, ending the season two places higher than last year and everyone was very proud.
Crystal Palace had a seriously excellent year, winning the actual FA Cup for the first time in the team's history. They were also the first south London team to win the FA Cup since 1988, plus they qualify for the Europa League next year, also they held a big open-topped parade through Selhurst yesterday while waving the silverware from the top of a bus and everyone was unutterably proud.
West Ham had an excellent year, winning no great honours but finishing comfortably mid-table so the money rolls in again next year and everyone was very proud.
Tottenham had an excellent year, sinking embarrassingly to only one place above relegation but utterly redeeming that by winning the Europa League, the actual UEFA Cup as it once was, which wipes the floor with any domestic achievement and finally sticks silverware back in the trophy cupboard and everyone was very proud.
Charlton Athletic had an excellent year, ending the season twelve places higher than last year, thus earning a play-off place, then winning the play-off final at Wembley at the weekend and gaining promotion back to the Championship for the first time since 2020. This also means local derbies against Millwall are back on the cards, we hate Millwall and we hate Millwall, and everyone was very proud.
Leyton Orient had an excellent year, ending the season five places higher than last year, thus earning a play-off place. Admittedly they didn't win the play-off final at Wembley at the weekend but they came second, plus they weren't losing for the first thirty minutes of the game so the fans could still dream of glory, and OK it all ended in heartbreak and tears but hey there's always next year and everyone was very proud.
AFC Wimbledon had an excellent year, ending the season five places higher than last year, earning a play-off place, then actually winning the play-off final at Wembley yesterday and gaining promotion back to League One for the first time since 2022. This could potentially lead to their highest ever League position next season, plus they will 100% definitely finish higher than the scum at Milton Keynes Dons in 2025/26 so everyone is currently exuberantly proud.
Bromley had an excellent year, spending their very first year in the Football League and cementing their credentials with a creditably mid-table finish which is their best ever position and everyone was very proud.
Barnet had an excellent year, topping the National League and thus earning automatic promotion back to the Football League. This follows two successive disappointing seasons in which they failed to get past the play-offs so the full-on glory days have returned and everyone was very proud.
Sutton United had an excellent year, making up for being relegated from the Football League last season by not being relegated again this year which would have been calamitous, and everyone was very proud.
Wealdstone had a excellent year, reaching the second round of the FA Cup for the first time since 1983, also thrashing Halifax on the last day of the season and so avoiding almost-certain relegation by just one point, and everyone was terribly proud.
Dagenham & Redbridge had a bad year, throwing away a lead in the last match of the season when Solihull Moors equalised and so being demoted to National League South where no London team wants to be. But at least they didn't come second in the Premier League like total losers Arsenal so it could have been worse, thus everyone was terribly proud.
1st Chelsea 2nd Arsenal 9th West Ham United 11th Tottenham Hotspur 12th Crystal Palace
Chelsea had an excellent year, winning the entire women's league caboodle and the Women's FA Cup too for good measure. Their season could hardly have been better all things considered and everyone was very proud.
Arsenal could only emulate their male colleagues by coming second in the league to a better team, their season thus almost entirely wasted. Not even winning the UEFA Women's Champions League in Lisbon at the weekend could quite ease the pain because what's the point in being certifiably the best team in Europe if Chelsea then edge you in domestic competition? Admittedly the crowds celebrating the Champions League win in North London yesterday looked ecstatic, packed with so many thousands of young girls in red and white bouncing excitedly that the future of the women's game looks utterly assured. But Chelsea still did technically better this season so in truth everyone present was just deluding themselves.
West Ham had an excellent year, ending the season two places higher than last year and everyone was very proud.
Tottenham Hotspur had an excellent year because 11th in the Super League is obviously a higher position then the 17th achieved by the men in the Premier League. Admittedly both Spurs teams only avoided relegation by a single place but hey, both still remain in the upper division and everyone was very proud.
Crystal Palace had an excellent year, not the women who were horribly demoted after a ghastly failure of a season but the men who won the only FA Cup that really matters. It truly was an excellent yet disappointing season in London football, but mostly excellent and almost everyone was very proud.
