Sometimes you just want to go for a nice walk, nothing too taxing, oodles of horticultural variety, outstanding architecture, glamorous vistas, top quality sculpture, regular refreshment opportunities, all continents included, occasional carnivorous plants, contour-free, royally approved, directly on the Heathrow flightpath, a bit of a stroll, won't take long. So here's a mile across a World Heritage Site in Kew, potentially enough to make a day of it and a nice walk all the same. [map]
Kew Gardens has evolved since 1759 into possibly the world's finest botanical collection, now with over 50,000 species across 330 riverside acres. Getting in's not cheap so this might not be for you, but it's only £10 on Tuesdays for the rest of the year so technically an autumnal bargain. For this nice walk I'm essentially heading down the eastern side, parallel to Kew Road, starting near the Elizabeth Gate and ending near the pagoda. This means missing out on the Great Badger Sett, Redwood Grove, Lake Crossing, Rhododendron Dell and Kew Palace, but you can always meander that way on your walk back.
Let's start by the Alpine House, a thin glass wedge whose rockeries are packed with tiny resilient plants, one of which (the arum pictum) is currently flowering with a supposedly foul odour. Enjoy the many flowers because there aren't a lot left across the gardens, especially out of doors, as summer turns to autumn. Or let's start in the Carbon Garden, a new project opened last year and recognisable by a central weird wooden mushroom thing in the centre of some stripy beds. The idea is to educate and inform but my word it's dry, not just the favoured arid plants but also the information boards that even a school party seemed uninterested in. Or start at the Hive, a metal lattice sculpture that quietly buzzes, best experienced from inside and best photographed from underneath. Or start in the Kitchen Garden, the Evolution Garden or the Aquatic Garden, indeed just potter around awhile because they've tucked a lot of interest into this northeastern corner and we won't be coming back.
For a proper debut let's go inside the Princess of Wales Conservatory, a stepped glasshouse opened by Diana the day before her 6th wedding anniversary. It has ten temperature-controlled zones all accessed through swing doors, the humidity climbing noticeably as you enter the central tropics. Not only is it packed with ferns, cacti and all manner of leafy fronds, but it's also a top-class maze with multiple up-and-down passageways to explore. Head up and you should find real-life Madagascar, head down and you might find a really fat white fish swimming opposite the building's architectural awards. I will say it's less fun when a secondary school party is exploring all around you, then two teachers arrive with primary crocodiles wielding worksheets, so maybe best explore at the weekend (or after 3pm when their coaches have left).
Exit at the lower end by the Paolozzi sculpture, a half-cyborg mix titled A Maximis Ad Minima. They like their outdoor sculptures at Kew and it's especially blessed at present with two dozen chunky Henry Moores scattered around the place. The closest to here are three Upright Motives, but there'll be some far lumpier specimens as we continue, some even stand-underable. Cut across the lawn to find the Broad Walk, its 320m-long beds believed to be the longest herbaceous borders in the country. You could learn about taxonomy because they've all been planted in groups, or you could simply admire the plants (the monocots are still ablaze). But sorry about the Waterlily House, it's 175 years old so they're replacing all 1546 glass panes and improving step-free access so it's all behind hoardings 'til next spring, dammit.
Next on Kew's major maintenance list is the famous Palm House, a massive glasshouse the length of a football pitch which in 1848 was the world's first large-scale wrought iron structure. It's due to close next spring for five years of extensive renovation, indeed the gardeners have already shifted several specimens to large pots and removed a substantial number, leaving empty beds and deep holes. For now it's still possible to wander round the sweaty interior past a variety of towering stems, crossing continents in minutes and learning a lot of Latin names on the way. My favourite part remains the spiral staircase that climbs to a high walkway, one-way only, where you can explore the canopy in greater detail and also get a good idea of why ironwork maintenance might be a good idea. Visit soon or miss out on one of Kew's best bits until 2032.
The flower terrace between the Palm House and the lake is still looking spectacular, almost as if it's been designed to peak in mid-September after every other bed has faded. Aim for the tall brick tower that looks like an Italian campanile but is in fact a disguised chimney for the boilers that used to heat the Palm House. This is located by the Victoria Gate, the gardens' chief entrance from which the chuggy land train sets off every hour. Hordes of cultured white-haired types pour through the barriers here every morning, return for tea and cakes mid-afternoon and shop for cuttings before they go home. Rest assured the Henry Moore teatowels are hole-free.
The most interesting route to the next glasshouse is via the Mediterranean Garden. It's not entirely European, it covers anywhere with a Mediterranean climate, thus at present Chile is looking a lot dazzlier than California atop the mound. The temple in the centre with the Tuscan porticos was added by Queen Victoria in memory of her uncle William IV, and was erected within months of her accession. The Cherry Walk is six months off looking spectacular, but follow that and you'll reach the glass door at the near end of the Temperate House. In good news this has already been renovated, they finished in 2018, so is a sparklingreceptacle for gum trees, tubers, cycads and hundreds of thankfully-labelled tall green things. Reading one board I leaned that some plants here are so rare that they could have been lost in a single landslide, and that only one specimen of New Zealand's Three Kings Vine survived the introduction of a few grazing goats. Inform, educate and entertain.
You could at this point deviate to the TreetopWalkway, a steel circuit erected high amongst the trees in 2008. There is a lift but I walked up all 108 steps before confirming that yes, you can see central London across the canopy and yes, even the horse chestnuts at Kew are suffering from premature leaf miner shrivelling. Or you could deviate in the opposite direction to the Galley of Botanical Art, although it's mostly full of Henry Moore collateral at present so not very flowery. Or there's the nearby Pavilion Bar and Grill, very much not one of the Garden's original buildings, where people tired of plant-spotting can settle with a ploughmans sharing platter or spend the equivalent of their entrance fee on a plate of fish and chips and a glass of white wine. But if you want to restrict your nice walk to one mile best not deviate, head straight on to the Far East.
The Japanese Landscape was completed in 1996 and the tea garden has to include a lot of signs saying Please Do Not Walk On The Gravel so visitors don't blunder through. Its centrepiece is the 16th century Gateway of the Imperial Messenger, although this is a four-fifths scale model created for the Japan-British Exhibition held at White City in 1910. Much more obvious is Kew's classic pagoda, a ten-storey landmark erected within a couple of years of the Gardens original opening and bedecked with 80 beautifully restored dragons. It's now under the management of Historic Royal Palaces and they charge £4.50 to climb to the top, this time with no lift so it could be a tiring end to your nice walk. And yes obviously I know none of you will ever follow this precise route, it's more an illustration of the riches to be had within a single mile at the absolute treasure which is Kew Gardens, now in its 267th year and still going strong.
