Yesterday I went to Forest Hill, Ewell, Cheam and Norbury.
It's only been a year since WH Smith's high street stores rebranded meaninglessly as TG Jones, but they've already started closing. This is what happens when venture capitalists rationalise their portfolio via a restructuring plan, they shut things, because it's not about community service it's about value for investors. Uxbridge went in July, Brixton in August, Greenford and Worcester Park in September, Pinner goes next Wednesday and Orpington and West Wickham later this month.
This is TG Jones in Forest Hill which was due to shut last week but has had a stay of execution until the end of the month. The upstairs Post Office will also have to close until somewhere else can be found for it, this the inevitable consequence of a policy that shacked up public service in private spaces.
It's a bit grim inside, although this may not solely be a result of impending closure. The range of available goods is somewhat limited, including not much stationery, a handful of jigsaws and one skipping rope. Diaries and Christmas cards are half price (though it's a very limited selection), whereas cards for landmark birthdays are fairly plentiful should you have one coming up. Even the confectionery rack is 20% off, although that may just reduce prices closer to normal. Magazines are however clearly labelled "not included in this clearance offer", plus good luck finding copies of Athletics Weekly, Women's Health or Airgun World once this place closes.
I spent a lot of time in Rickmansworth's WH Smiths when I was a child and much more in Watford's, hunting down a treasured book, treating myself to a geometry set or flicking through the singles and cassettes in the mezzanine record department. Alas Watford's TG Jones is closing on 27th January and Rickmansworth's closes on October 17th, so perhaps I ought to go back beforehand in case there are any local specials. Also remember that just because you no longer rely on these shops many people do, not least the staff who are about to be turfed out of a job. They sounded stoic in Forest Hill as they restocked the shelves, not publicly negative but you could tell something here wasn't right. Alas no longer Smith Nor Jones.
London's TG Jones Doomed: Cheam, Eltham, Forest Hill, Harrow, Muswell Hill, Orpington, Pinner, Streatham, Wandsworth, West Wickham Not yet doomed: Barnet, Beckenham, Bexleyheath, Brent Cross, Bromley, Chiswick, Colliers Wood, Croydon, Hendon, Ilford, Kingston, Lewisham, Richmond, Romford, Ruislip, Southgate, Sutton, Teddington, Temple Fortune, Twickenham, Wallington, Westfield, Westfield
I hadn't spotted these two road signs in Ewell before. They're on the north site of the gyratory around Bourne Hall, the library complex that looks like a flying saucer. Several large ponds also exist here at the source of the Hogsmill, hence the abundance of wildfowl, hence two signs warning drivers not to run them over. Aww, aren't they cute?
But not official. The official roadsign for "Wild fowl likely to be in road ahead" is a single duck, as exemplified in the DfT's Traffic Signs Manual Diagram 551.2, with zero ducklings following after. Similarly the only animals to appear on approved roadsigns are cattle, horses, deer, frogs, ducks and hedgehogs, never swans and definitely not cygnets. Someone local has felt the need to add these convincing fakes, but when and why?
I checked on Streetview because this is a great way to answer various roadsign questions. The duck/duckling sign appeared sometime between 2012 and 2015, which is ages ago, whereas the swan/cygnet sign appeared between 2022 and 2024. Thus they're not contemporary they're a decade apart, which is intriguing. Even more intriguing is that the swan sign has been attached in front of another sign, that for 'frail pedestrians', entirely obscuring it. Someone has unilaterally decided that warning motorists about wildfowl is more important than warning motorists about old people and I would seriously question that decision, however lovable the cygnet sign is.
A new arrival on Cheam Broadway is this tanning salon.
It's called TAN-GERINE Tanning.
And I wouldn't have called it that.
Why make yourself bright orange?
When this blog started I used to have a feature called theCreativeLounge in which I invited readers to come up with clever and appropriate names for things. We did new planets, bottled waters, businesses in Diss, modern surnames, chemical elements, London Eye sponsorship, allsorts, just like we were a top-drawer marketing team. So let's see if we can do better with a name for a tanning salon...
Welcome to the Creative Lounge
Take a seat. Take a deep breath.
Now, try flexing your creative muscle...
Tanning salon names (appropriate)
Goldrush, Tan Tricks, Foxy Brown, Sun Deck, Glow Getters, Hot Tropic, Cheamgleam, ?, ?, ?, ?,
Tanning salon names (inappropriate)
Bronze Meddle, Crispy Bakin', Golden Shower, Brown Nosing, Charredonay, Tan Gents, Let Us Spray, ?, ?, ?, ?,
This is the display of crisps in the window in the front of Norbury Local at 1522 London Rd.
It's typical of many a minimarket cornershop, a wide choice of largish snackbags at quite high prices.
I'm particularly intrigued that some manufacturers now print prices in the corner of the bag, perhaps to ensure they make a profit, perhaps to stop the retailer adding too much of a mark-up, perhaps because people buy more crisps when it's clear how much they cost. But perhaps it's simply taking advantage of people who want a quick snack, because these prices are way above what you'd pay in a supermarket.
30g bag of McCoy's crisps here: £1.35 (4.5p per gram)
45g bag of McCoy's crisps at Waitrose: £1.25 (2.8p per gram)
6 25g bags of McCoy's crisps at Sainsbury: £1.75 (1.2p per gram)
70g bag of Walker's crisps here: £1.49 (2.1p per gram)
6 25g bags of Walker's crisps at Tesco: £1.75 (1.2p per gram)
70g bag of Doritos here: £1.49 (2.1p per gram)
150g bag of Doritos at Morrisons: £2.50 (1.4p per gram)
5 30g bags of Doritos at Asda: £2.15 (1.4p per gram)
Admittedly when you want a street snack you don't want to buy a multipack, but even so the mark-up on these crisps is pretty high for what's essentially an identical product, just a different size. Pay for convenience, pay over the odds.
Welcome to the Creative Lounge
