diamond geezer

 Monday, March 27, 2017

Opening sentence referencing the location of today's post. Acknowledgement that I have been here before, with link to previous article should you choose to compare and contrast. Recognition that not many Londoners have been to this place. Specific mention of the name of the place in the hope that at least one person leaves a message in the comments saying they used to live here and they remember one of the shops, while another says they live here now and it's not as awful as most people think. Link to Wikipedia article. Slight teaser.

Brief paragraph devoted to background history, seriously condensed so as not to slow down the flow of the post. If you go back far enough this was all fields, obviously. A follow-up sentence which sprints from the Georgian era to post-war development, via something vaguely interesting the Victorians did. Brief mention that things changed dramatically when the railways came. Several peripheral facts deliberately omitted, so that someone else can look clever by telling us all.

[photograph of local high street with the sun shining attractively, which I hung around on a street corner for far too long attempting to capture without excess traffic]

Reference to establishing landmark, and link to map of the area should you be wondering where it is. Mention of nearby railway station, because that'll probably help you to understand where this is without clicking on the map link, because nobody clicks on links. Twinge of regret at mentioning the railway again, because this may trigger a long comment about trains, despite trains not being the main focus of the post nor mentioned in any other context.

Description of the type of housing nearby, admittedly not using the finest architectural terms but sufficient to get the gist across. Rather too many thesaurus-friendly adjectives all crammed together into the same sentence, which drones on rather longer than it should because I forgot to read it back after I'd written it, which is never wise, and probably containing one clause too many. Glaring factual error. Namecheck for local cafe, not that I went in, but normal people might.

List of three types of shop, selected for their collective stereotypical nuance, in the hope that this helps give a flavour of the kind of person who lives and shops here. Observation that something old has now become flats. Tone of voice tempered according to whether the old thing was merely adapted to create flats, or completely knocked down so that developers could start again and build something out of proportion with all the good looks of a shed.

Moving off from the starting point along some specifically-named road, in case you were ever to want to repeat my journey, which you never will. Something I overheard somebody saying as I walked by, because it's quite funny out of context. Silent recognition that this is entirely irrelevant, apart from adding a bit of local flavour, but it does prove that I did actually cross London to visit this location rather than sitting at home and sourcing all my photos from Streetview.

[photograph of key location, which I thought was decent but on getting home discovered was all blurry, so had to be photoshopped to within an inch of its life before appearing here]

Ordinary-looking house which it turns out has an interesting history, but only if you're a keen fan of one particular 1980s sitcom, or have a thing for mass poisoners. Worrying feeling that this building is why I crossed London to visit this location, and after all that effort it's only an ordinary-looking house. Attempt not to mention the address in too specific a manner in case the owner of the house ever Googles it and discovers I was the nutter taking intrusive photos of their front garden.

Incisive observation which deserves to be a single paragraph all by itself.

Second building notionally just round the corner from the first, but potentially half an hour away on foot. Short synopsis of the building's history, all gathered from the internet after I got home because I never realised how rich its background was while standing in front of it. Detailed description of the chimney, the front door or some other entirely irrelevant feature. Sentence including speling mistake which my proof reader will email me about within 20 minutes of the post going live.

Grim footpath up the side of the building - a route taken solely for dramatic effect. Trying hard to think of another synonym for footpath which I haven't used three times already. Mention that the local park is full of trees, which obviously it is, but the appearance of leaves and/or blossom permits a little seasonal flavour. Sentence including word which doesn't actually exist, but you should be able to work out my intended meaning, and I think I'll get away with it.

[photograph of local viewpoint or local waterway, linked through to larger version on Flickr, not that you'll probably notice, nor care, and anyway you've seen the photo already]

Obligatory visit to local viewpoint, be that hilltop, embankment, mound or footbridge. Repeated over-use of the words view and panorama. Mention of whether or not you can see the Shard, because again this proves whether I actually went or not. Obligatory visit to local waterway, be that stream, canal, ugly concrete culvert or lost river. Mild excitement if 'lost river' category can be correctly utilised. Description of at least one thing seen dumped in water, for same reason as previously.

Downbeat reference to proposed development of flats in that new brick vernacular. Recognition that yes, flats are needed, but surely we can do better than this. Trigger vocabulary used to ensure that at least one person in the comments questions what percentage will be affordable, and then bemoans the direction the modern world is travelling in. Oblique mention of Brexit merely to piss off one of my angrier readers.

Penultimate paragraph starting to tie everything together, and an excuse to link to posts other people have written which reference the general area I've just visited. Sentence which would read more clearly if it didn't keep changing colour because I'm linking to some photographs you won't look at. Opportune moment to mention a local bus route which might deliver you here quite easily, but best not, because commenters are even more likely to write something tangentially historical about buses than they are about railways.

Repeated admission that this is not the most exciting area of London. Tacit acceptance that my post has probably confirmed this in your mind. Acknowledgement that you could one day come here and see what I've seen but you won't. Unspoken feeling that surely I must have better things to do with my weekends. Assumption that I will one day be back. Concluding sentence incorporating limp pun. Now, what's in the comments?

<< click for Newer posts

click for Older Posts >>

click to return to the main page

...or read more in my monthly archives
Jan21  Feb21  Mar21  Apr21  May21  Jun21
Jan20  Feb20  Mar20  Apr20  May20  Jun20  Jul20  Aug20  Sep20  Oct20  Nov20  Dec20
Jan19  Feb19  Mar19  Apr19  May19  Jun19  Jul19  Aug19  Sep19  Oct19  Nov19  Dec19
Jan18  Feb18  Mar18  Apr18  May18  Jun18  Jul18  Aug18  Sep18  Oct18  Nov18  Dec18
Jan17  Feb17  Mar17  Apr17  May17  Jun17  Jul17  Aug17  Sep17  Oct17  Nov17  Dec17
Jan16  Feb16  Mar16  Apr16  May16  Jun16  Jul16  Aug16  Sep16  Oct16  Nov16  Dec16
Jan15  Feb15  Mar15  Apr15  May15  Jun15  Jul15  Aug15  Sep15  Oct15  Nov15  Dec15
Jan14  Feb14  Mar14  Apr14  May14  Jun14  Jul14  Aug14  Sep14  Oct14  Nov14  Dec14
Jan13  Feb13  Mar13  Apr13  May13  Jun13  Jul13  Aug13  Sep13  Oct13  Nov13  Dec13
Jan12  Feb12  Mar12  Apr12  May12  Jun12  Jul12  Aug12  Sep12  Oct12  Nov12  Dec12
Jan11  Feb11  Mar11  Apr11  May11  Jun11  Jul11  Aug11  Sep11  Oct11  Nov11  Dec11
Jan10  Feb10  Mar10  Apr10  May10  Jun10  Jul10  Aug10  Sep10  Oct10  Nov10  Dec10 
Jan09  Feb09  Mar09  Apr09  May09  Jun09  Jul09  Aug09  Sep09  Oct09  Nov09  Dec09
Jan08  Feb08  Mar08  Apr08  May08  Jun08  Jul08  Aug08  Sep08  Oct08  Nov08  Dec08
Jan07  Feb07  Mar07  Apr07  May07  Jun07  Jul07  Aug07  Sep07  Oct07  Nov07  Dec07
Jan06  Feb06  Mar06  Apr06  May06  Jun06  Jul06  Aug06  Sep06  Oct06  Nov06  Dec06
Jan05  Feb05  Mar05  Apr05  May05  Jun05  Jul05  Aug05  Sep05  Oct05  Nov05  Dec05
Jan04  Feb04  Mar04  Apr04  May04  Jun04  Jul04  Aug04  Sep04  Oct04  Nov04  Dec04
Jan03  Feb03  Mar03  Apr03  May03  Jun03  Jul03  Aug03  Sep03  Oct03  Nov03  Dec03
 Jan02  Feb02  Mar02  Apr02  May02  Jun02  Jul02 Aug02  Sep02  Oct02  Nov02  Dec02 

eXTReMe Tracker
jack of diamonds
Life viewed from London E3

» email me
» follow me on twitter
» follow the blog on Twitter
» follow the blog on RSS

» my flickr photostream

twenty blogs
ian visits
blue witch
the great wen
edith's streets
spitalfields life
in the aquarium
round the island
wanstead meteo
christopher fowler
ruth's coastal walk
the ladies who bus
round the rails we go
london reconnections
dirty modern scoundrel
from the murky depths
exploring urban wastelands

quick reference features
Things to do in Outer London
Things to do outside London
Inner London toilet map
The DG Tour of Britain

read the archive
Jun21  May21
Apr21  Mar21  Feb21  Jan21
Dec20  Nov20  Oct20  Sep20
Aug20  Jul20  Jun20  May20
Apr20  Mar20  Feb20  Jan20
Dec19  Nov19  Oct19  Sep19
Aug19  Jul19  Jun19  May19
Apr19  Mar19  Feb19  Jan19
Dec18  Nov18  Oct18  Sep18
Aug18  Jul18  Jun18  May18
Apr18  Mar18  Feb18  Jan18
Dec17  Nov17  Oct17  Sep17
Aug17  Jul17  Jun17  May17
Apr17  Mar17  Feb17  Jan17
Dec16  Nov16  Oct16  Sep16
Aug16  Jul16  Jun16  May16
Apr16  Mar16  Feb16  Jan16
Dec15  Nov15  Oct15  Sep15
Aug15  Jul15  Jun15  May15
Apr15  Mar15  Feb15  Jan15
Dec14  Nov14  Oct14  Sep14
Aug14  Jul14  Jun14  May14
Apr14  Mar14  Feb14  Jan14
Dec13  Nov13  Oct13  Sep13
Aug13  Jul13  Jun13  May13
Apr13  Mar13  Feb13  Jan13
Dec12  Nov12  Oct12  Sep12
Aug12  Jul12  Jun12  May12
Apr12  Mar12  Feb12  Jan12
Dec11  Nov11  Oct11  Sep11
Aug11  Jul11  Jun11  May11
Apr11  Mar11  Feb11  Jan11
Dec10  Nov10  Oct10  Sep10
Aug10  Jul10  Jun10  May10
Apr10  Mar10  Feb10  Jan10
Dec09  Nov09  Oct09  Sep09
Aug09  Jul09  Jun09  May09
Apr09  Mar09  Feb09  Jan09
Dec08  Nov08  Oct08  Sep08
Aug08  Jul08  Jun08  May08
Apr08  Mar08  Feb08  Jan08
Dec07  Nov07  Oct07  Sep07
Aug07  Jul07  Jun07  May07
Apr07  Mar07  Feb07  Jan07
Dec06  Nov06  Oct06  Sep06
Aug06  Jul06  Jun06  May06
Apr06  Mar06  Feb06  Jan06
Dec05  Nov05  Oct05  Sep05
Aug05  Jul05  Jun05  May05
Apr05  Mar05  Feb05  Jan05
Dec04  Nov04  Oct04  Sep04
Aug04  Jul04  Jun04  May04
Apr04  Mar04  Feb04  Jan04
Dec03  Nov03  Oct03  Sep03
Aug03  Jul03  Jun03  May03
Apr03  Mar03  Feb03  Jan03
Dec02  Nov02  Oct02  Sep02
back to main page

the diamond geezer index
2020 2019 2018 2017 2016
2015 2014 2013 2012 2011
2010 2009 2008 2007 2006
2005 2004 2003 2002

my special London features
a-z of london museums
E3 - local history month
greenwich meridian (N)
greenwich meridian (S)
the real eastenders
london's lost rivers
olympic park 2007
great british roads
oranges & lemons
random boroughs
bow road station
high street 2012
river westbourne
trafalgar square
capital numbers
east london line
lea valley walk
olympics 2005
regent's canal
square routes
silver jubilee
unlost rivers
cube routes
Herbert Dip
capital ring
river fleet

ten of my favourite posts
the seven ages of blog
my new Z470xi mobile
five equations of blog
the dome of doom
chemical attraction
quality & risk
london 2102
single life
april fool

ten sets of lovely photos
my "most interesting" photos
london 2012 olympic zone
harris and the hebrides
betjeman's metro-land
marking the meridian
tracing the river fleet
london's lost rivers
inside the gherkin
seven sisters

just surfed in?
here's where to find...
diamond geezers
flash mob #1  #2  #3  #4
ben schott's miscellany
london underground
watch with mother
cigarette warnings
digital time delay
wheelie suitcases
war of the worlds
transit of venus
top of the pops
old buckenham
ladybird books
acorn antiques
digital watches
outer hebrides
olympics 2012
school dinners
pet shop boys
west wycombe
bletchley park
george orwell
big breakfast
clapton pond
san francisco
children's tv
east enders
trunk roads
little britain
credit cards
jury service
big brother
jubilee line
number 1s
titan arum
doctor who
blue peter
peter pan
feng shui
leap year
bbc three
vision on
ID cards