Mon 1: Three highlights of a day spent at my Dad's in Norfolk: i) going to the local art exhibition and having tea and cake with a sheep farmer. ii) watching a wren repeatedly bringing nest material into the birdbox beside my bedroom window. iii) eating the roast lamb ready meal my Dad inherited from the freezer of a recently deceased villager. Tue 2: Passed a colourful reader of this blog while exiting a DLR station, but I didn't stop to say hello because I've only met them once and they looked like they'd had a tough day at the office. Wed 3: Supermarket update: My local Tesco has introduced video screens at the self-checkouts to confirm they're filming you for security purposes. It's very uncomfortable watching yourself failing to scan a pack of crumpets. According to the nice ladies who no longer operate the tills, a bigger problem is undesirables running straight out.
Thu 4: At the Grand Union development in Alperton they've attempted 'placemaking' by berthing a narrowboat and turning it into a cafe that sells coffee and crepes, but the dock is entirely sealed off from the canal so more like a small pond, and it looks mighty stupid. Fri 5: I had a dream in which it felt very convincingly like one of my teeth had come loose. I woke up very startled and frantically checked and thankfully nothing was amiss, but sheesh my subconscious is evil sometimes. Sat 6: The young ticket seller at the station was very willing but had obviously never heard of a Gold Card before and I had to show him on my phone browser that he really could issue me a ticket for £8.60. Once on the train I noticed he'd actually sold me a Network Card discount, but thankfully no ticket inspectors intervened. Sun 7: This afternoon the walkway by the Old Royal Naval College in Greenwich was being washed by high spring tides, with tourists blithely setting off down the path then having to jump up onto the railings as the Thames soaked their shoes. All the fun of an urban assault course, but best watched from a safe distance.
Mon 8: Arrived at Tottenham Hale station to find a dozen emergency vehicles in the bus station watching a barely-clad woman dancing and gesturing from the top of the adjacent lift shaft. Officers tried climbing through a skylight but she ran away to the other side of the station and dodged them all. An impressively useless deployment of resources. Tue 9: Hammersmith Bridge is finally getting a proper cycle lane restored, for which read a temporary grey stripe across the unrepaired surface of the bridge, which feels like a tiny advance after five years of severance but also a positive step forward. Wed 10: You can tell it's Eid round my way because many people are dressed in their finest clothes, not necessarily appropriate for the weather, and heading off to celebrations at the mosque. Eid will be retreating through March and February over the next few years so thermal underwear may become more appropriate.
Thu 11: Walking through Sewardstone, which is famously the only place outside London to lie within the London postal district, I spotted an E4 street sign on a newbuild close and took a quick photo. Ten seconds later a man walked up his garden path and asked why I'd taken his photo. Some people don't like having their photo taken, he said, it's not polite, what did I think I was doing? I explained I was taking a photo of the streetsign and his house just happened to be in the background, but this didn't appease him and his arguing got more intense. It's not right, it's a privacy thing, it's his house, how dare I? I apologised and said I'd go back and take the photo again, but this just annoyed him more, to the point where his furious rant now included several swear words and references to parts of the female body. I checked my original photo later and his face had filled barely 100 pixels of the image so was entirely unidentifiable, but let me assure you that the photo above is my second attempt which he's definitely not in.
Fri 12: Went for a highly unusual bus ride on the 466 which is being diverted because of sewage repairs in Coulsdon. We headed south all the way to the start of the M23, then turned off up a blossomy country lane with views across the North Downs, eventually reaching the proper terminus at Caterham-on-the-Hill. First time the village of Chaldon has seen a red bus in yonks. Thanks for the tip-off Keith. Sat 13: While I was waiting for a hail and ride bus in Monken Hadley I unpeeled a transphobic sticker from the timetable panel, because nobody deserves to read that bolx. Sun 14: In previous years I've walked through the Isabella Plantation in Richmond Park either a couple of weeks before the azaleas peak or a couple of weeks after, but this year I think I got it spot on and my word they were ubiquitously stunning. Mon 15: Even my Dad's succumbed and bought an air fryer. I'm unconvinced, mainly because I don't have the kitchen worktop space but also because Jamie Oliver's new series tonight left me cold. Tue 16: Only in the outer suburbs of Havering would you find a house with a chequerboard garden, fake half-timbering, the statues of two chained dogs either side of the porch and Elvis strumming on a guitar in front of the living room window.
Wed 17: If you don't have photo ID you only have a week left to apply for a Voter Authority Certificate (and I don't know why I'm telling you this now a week after the deadline, other than to shake a fist at the bastards in the government for introducing it). Thu 18: The Apprentice final ticked all the right boxes, but they really ought to filter out the candidates with the rubbish business plans at the beginning rather than keeping them in the process until almost the end. Fri 19: Published almost-posthumously, Bryant and May's Peculiar London by Christopher Fowler is a quirky and surprisingly in-depth ramble through the history and folklore of the capital, as narrated by the offbeat characters of his excellent series of detective novels. If you're not familiar it might grate but I learned loads from reading it. Sat 20: The wisteria at Strand-on-the-Green is very lovely at the moment (other prime pink locations are available). Sun 21: I walked the last couple of miles of the London Marathon from the Tower to Westminster, but while they were tying the banners to the railings and setting up the charity hubs and piling up pallets of the sponsor's bottled drink and testing the DJ truck and parking the ice cream vans so all a bit premature, although David Weir did eventually wheel by.
Mon 22: Susan Hall's manifesto has finally appeared, ten days before the election. She lost me straight away by claiming to be "the candidate who listens" because she certainly hasn't been listening to me, but this kind of populism always resonates with the core vote. Tue 23: Failed to spot in advance that today was the 100th anniversary of the opening of the British Empire Exhibition, otherwise you'd probably have read a blogpost looking back nostalgically at how cultured Wembley used to be and comparing that to the depressing stackyflats neighbourhood that's taken its place. Boxpark is a poor replacement for the Palace of Industry. "Play. Shop. Savour. Relax." Sheesh. Wed 24: Spotted the lovely Su Pollard at Angel station. So did the gateline staff and she happily stopped for a chat and a photo. You couldn't really miss her in that coat and head-dress. Thu 25: Over 1400 people have watched my Big London Airports Race video on YouTube, apparently for an average of one minute and two seconds each. I'd like to apologise to the 41 people who were shown my video as part of the recommendations algorithm, as opposed to clicking on it knowingly.
Fri 26: The Barbican has been wrapped up in hibiscus purple sheeting for artistic reasons, and is definitely best viewed when the sun comes out. Sat 27: Anne Ward has a new book out, I❤️EK, which features 60 colour photos taken over the last 20 years in East Kilbride, Scotland's first new town. If understated urban excellence and throwback retail detail are your thing, you should at least be following her on Instagram. Sun 28: If you write to the nice man on the radio often enough, eventually he'll do a dedication for your special day. Mon 29: A neighbour who's moved out keeps getting subscription books delivered, so I thought I'd send the envelopes back with a 'return to sender' sticker, only to find most pillarbox slots are far too narrow to cope with hardback A4. Eventually found a wider EIIR box and off they went. Tue 30: Blimey, I just travelled three stops on the Central line with Doctor Who. She wasn't as obvious as Su Pollard, the only splashes of colour being a pink blouse and a Sainsbury's bag, but the Fugitive Doctor was always about hiding in plain sight.
