20 years ago I went to Orlando in Florida and spent a week at Walt Disney World Resort. I started my diary-based reminiscences yesterday, backed up with a handful of appallingly-taken photos. Today I'll finish off the trip... and OMG, look where I was 20 years ago today.
Wednesday 9th August 2000:Animal Kingdom
Started the day with pancakes and sausage again, because never mess with a successful combination. Today's target was Disney's Animal Kingdom, a jumped-up safari park opened two years previously with a huge fibreglass Tree of Life at its centre. Several of the staff were wearing pith helmets, which must at least have been cooler than dressing as Tigger. Our first stop was the Kilimanjaro Safari, a truck ride round a pseudo-savannah in search of roaming animals. I wasted almost all of the day's photos on this jaunt, including a blurry cheetah, the top half of a hippo, half a dozen askew giraffes and a few pixels that might be a lion. The elephant-poaching finale felt over-scripted, and I see they've dropped that since.
In Safari Village we were squirted by water during the A Bug's Life special effects experience. In Asia we got wetter riding a twirling ring on the Kali River Rapids. In Dinoland the animatronic ride ended with a jolt from a cataclysmic meteor. But we didn't find enough here to last the whole day, so it was off to the scattered malls on International Drive where I bought some clothes my nephews and niece have long since grown out of. And in the evening we went back to Downtown Disney... where I was refused entry to the entertainment zone on Pleasure Island because I looked under 30 (oh America!), so we went back to the cinema instead.
Thursday 10th August 2000:Disney-MGM Studios
Started the day with pancakes and sausage again, because grits, biscuits and gravy did not appeal. Set off early for Disney's movie wonderland, a co-production with Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer which meant certain films didn't get a look in. First we rushed across to the Star Wars ride, which I soon spotted was exactly the same as the ride at Disneyland Paris. Chris insisted we visit the Muppets 3D Cinema so I got my own back by insisting we did the lengthy backlot tour afterwards, including a tramride past the bangs and whooshes of Catastrophe Canyon. I'm sure I've seen New York Street as a setting in numerous TV shows and movies since, or maybe that's just a measure of how good the illusion was.
On the Magic of Animation Tour we walked past desks where actual Disney and Pixar animators were working. The Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular didn't prove especially Epic from the very back row of the auditorium. The Great Movie Ride featuring tons of classic clips benefited greatly from a cheery camp commentary. I totally refused to enter to Tower of Terror for a 13-storey lift drop, a decision I still stand by. To secure a seat for the after-dark Fantasmic performance we booked dinner at the Brown Derby restaurant, where lasagne, steak and a sundae were served with haste for a whopping $95. Heavy rain later made getting round the park unpleasant, but had thankfully cleared by the time Mickey Mouse walked out onto his fiery island to battle an angry dragon.
Friday 11th August 2000:Universal Studios
Started the day with pancakes and sausage, plus a cinnamon bun for a touch of variety. Having completed the big four Disney parks it was time to try Universal's offering, which meant another day themed around big movies. It also meant an additional $49 entrance fee plus $7 for parking. We parked our convertible in the multi-storey with Superman painted on the outside, then swapped our vehicle for a DeLorean on the excellent Back To The Future ride. I also gave top marks to a subway journey during an earthquake, a Terminator-themed ride with a cyber-hostess and an excursion on Amity beach with a 'surprise' shark. The brand new Men In Black glorified shoot-em-up thrilled me less.
It wasn't just movies, because Dick Dastardly got a look-in on the Hanna-Barbera experience, but it was mostly movies (King Kong, tick; Alfred Hitchcock, tick; The Blues Brothers, tick). I can't remember who I bought the Muttley polo shirt for, but I no longer have it. For a meal we stopped off at Finnegan's Bar & Grill whose 'traditional Irish-American food' included a Devonshire burger with fries. And eventually we headed back to the hotel, stopping on the way so I could buy a 69¢ pack of cinnamon Tic Tacs and Chris could buy some Chips Ahoy cookies. I have no idea how much weight we put on that week, but the very best diet of all was flying home.
Saturday 12th August 2000:Kennedy Space Center
Hell yes. One of the joys of a hired Chrysler convertible was the ability to drive across the state to NASA'scoastallaunchpad. We filled up with $70 of petrol and then sped sedately along the tollway through a flat landscape of lakes and trees. We would have enjoyed Mix 105.1 more had its ad breaks not been seven minutes long. Unfortunately, being the weekend, the queues for the Space Center's car park were very long and we were later getting inside than we'd hoped. Our Maximum Access pass afforded us a three hour tour, much of it by coach, past launchpads where space history had taken place.
Alas I have absolutely no photos of the place, despite the fact I know we took several, nor indeed much visual memory of anything we saw outdoors. But my diary confirms our coach had to pull over while a giant payload passed us by, and that we stood on the LC-39 Observation Gantry to gawp at Space Shuttle launchpads (until an approaching thunderstorm forced us back down). I do remember the Saturn V rocket lying flat inside the Apollo Center and how mindbogglingly massive it was, and how I couldn't find anything worth buying in the shop, but looking back 20 years later I have a NASA-sized hole in my memory and that's a massive shame.
For our last night in Florida we went to Downtown Disney, again, where Planet Hollywood served up a bland burger with excessively huge onion rings. I panicked in the gift shop and bought my parents an entirely unnecessary Mickey Mouse vase, which they dutifully placed on a shelf and dusted regularly. Then we went to the cinema, again, to watch Scary Movie (appropriately on Screen 13). And at the end of the night Chris drove us to the far side of the resort's car park so I could make a fuss of being the furthest south I've ever been in my life. The moon looked wrong because its horns were pointing at an unfamiliar angle.
Sunday 13th August 2000:Orlando → Gatwick
Had pancakes and sausage for the seventh consecutive day. We checked out at 10 but had an evening flight, so most of Sunday was wasted filling time. The car got drenched just before we returned it because we'd left the top down while we checked in our cases. Alas we didn't get upgraded to Upper Class on the flight home, but that did at least mean a different coloured goodie bag. It was a joy to be served a piece of chicken that wasn't coated in something, and to remind ourselves of the existence of vegetables. And yes, the UK felt very different as we emerged into a mild misty morning at Gatwick.
I'm glad I went and got to experience the American Dream writ large. I feel I fully ticked off Walt Disney World but without ever seeing the proper Florida. I have never splurged quite so much money in a single week on top of the cost of travel and accommodation. I apologise to my sister-in-law who's always wanted to go but never has. And I'd be pleased never to go anywhere near the place again.
20 years ago I went to Orlando in Florida and spent a week at Walt Disney World Resort. It was a proper "what the hell" trip to make up for the previous two years not having been the happiest period of my life. My friend - let's call them Chris - specialised in what the hell trips, and neither of us had ever been, so what the hell.
I hadn't started blogging back then, indeed I was only (sigh) 35, so I've never written about the trip before. But with the aid of a diary, a plastic bagful of ephemera and four Kodak photo discs I'm going to have a go. I should point out that the photos are a desperate disappointment, mostly of backs of heads or blurred or taken in darkness (and only cover the first few days of the trip), but what the hell.
Sunday 6th August 2000:Gatwick → Orlando
This was the flight of my life. We'd booked premium economy, but at the check-in desk Virgin Atlantic unexpectedly bumped us into Upper Class. They never said why, but Chris flew a lot for work and we definitely weren't complaining. After free drinks in the lounge we boarded our Jumbo and (oh joy) got to ascend the staircase to the tiny prestige cabin on the upper deck. I sat front right, with three windows all to myself (and the occasional view of Bermuda). I was perhaps most excited by the goodie bag packed with colourful items Richard Branson thought might be useful on the flight, all of which I saved for later. Two stewardesses had been devoted to the twelve of us but were regrettably underused. The beef medallions and chablis they served were very tasty, but the cheese and biscuits less so. Film choices proved no better than downstairs. The quantity of legroom has never been repeated.
After nine hours in our luxury attic we touched down in the Sunshine State. My diary records that we "whizzed through immigration", as indeed we had through Gatwick, because pre-2001 was a very different time. Chris had pre-booked a car, and blimey if it didn't turn out to be a red Chrysler Convertible. A lot of top-down driving ensued throughout the coming week, although the radio malfunctioned so it wasn't quite the full-on American dream. Our first stop was the All Star Music Resort, where our 2nd floor room was fairly basic and smelt of toothpaste. For dinner we drove off site to Downtown Disney, a lakeside food and retail hub where we filled up with cheap pizza. Just in case we hadn't seen enough films on the plane we then bought tickets to watch the newly-released X Men movie, and I somehow didn't fall asleep despite having been awake for 22 hours.
Monday 7th August 2000:Magic Kingdom
Our chosen breakfast involved thick pancakes with syrup, something called 'sausages' and chocolate milk. We had gone native fast. We'd also splashed out a few hundred dollars on a full Unlimited Magic Pass (souvenir Millennium Celebrations edition) so we had the pick of any of the Disney Parks in the area, but on day one it's obviously the done thing go to the Magic Kingdom. Our passes allowed us inside before the general public, which also enabled a mostly empty trip on the monorail so the day was already going splendidly. From the entrance Main Street USA leads up to Sleeping Beauty's Castle, just like it does in the Californian and Paris versions, with the big rides spun off into themed zones all around.
We hit Tomorrowland first of all, where I wimped out of Space Mountain but went for a Buzz Lightyear Spin and queued for an ExtraTERRORestrial Alien Encounter. Standing in line was, I think, the first time I noticed that many Americans were really quite large. Over in Frontierland we rode the Thunder Mountain railway, twice, and in Fantasyland endured the earworming "It's A Small World". There was of course too much to see and not enough time to see it, especially when Chris was intent on stopping for lunch and tracking down a hat with Tigger on it. We managed to get back to Main Street in time for the end of the Magical Moments Parade, which consisted mostly of assorted characters waving from trucks, and then the 95 degree heat and jetlag all became too much and we fled back to the hotel.
I was pleased that we got to go back again in the evening, although by now it was getting dark so it was harder to enjoy the fibreglass skyline. Instead we stood in Liberty Square and awaited the legendary Main Street Electrical Parade, an event which still felt like Walt had devised it in the 1930s. Illuminated snails and mushrooms and fairy castles passed by, even an attempt at Big Ben, each comprising strings of light bulbs atop an unseen chassis. My favourite part was the Moog synthesiser backing music that tinkled throughout, which I felt the urge to track down on CD before flying home. We stayed for the 10pm fireworks, then wished we hadn't as we joined the slow crush out of the park afterwards.
Tuesday 8th August 2000:Epcot
Breakfast on Day Two again involved pancakes with syrup plus sausages, but I'd learned to skip the chocolate milk. We were up early to beat the queues at Disney's futuristic attraction, Epcot, a cluster of technological sheds plus a lakeside loop of global stereotypes. The geodesic dome of Spaceship Earth looked fantastic, especially with a millennial 2000 clinging to the inside, but the 'ride' inside turned out to be sponsored by the AT&T telephone company. Universe of Energy was 45 minutes with Ellen DeGeneres and Exxon, Wonders of Life plugged health insurance over biology and The Land was an inherently Nestlé production. It's not what Britons fly all this way to see... in much the same way that Americans would have scratched their heads at the contents of the Millennium Dome.
Honey I Shrunk The Audience was more fun, courtesy of Eric Idle and giant 3D pets, while the Living Seas involved giant tanks and several unnecessary lifts. I felt like we were getting a lot more done today, but Chris still demanded a mid-afternoon break for some urgent clothes shopping. I hadn't packed any shorts but Florida's humidity and high temperatures (see also London, 20 years later) demanded a pair, plus several ankle socks to boot.
Suitably reclad we returned to Epcot to tick off as much as possible of the Lake of Nations before nightfall. China's waterfront zone featured an impressive 360° cinema and Norway had mustered a wooden church but Italy was alas mostly restaurants. We ended our walk in the so-called United Kingdom, where a crowd gathered to watch an inexplicable parade of clocks outside the fish and chip shop. I would very like to go back to that moment and tell 35-year-old me not to waste half the film in the camera on this mostly-obscured so-called spectacle. The night of course ended with some loud and spectacular fireworks, which I wasted most of the rest of the film on, and yet again there was an un-Disneylike bundle to exit afterwards.
