It's 100 metres long, with just five houses and flanked by two enormous blocks of flats.
It may look grim, but it's actually incredibly historic.
This is the Woolwich Dockyard estate, on the waterfront to the west of the town centre, and the very antithesis of the Woolwich Arsenal estate to the east. That's private, desirable and well-connected. This is council, down-at-heel and cut off.
Construction commenced in 1974, the lead architect being Elsie Sargent, with Norman & Dawbarn as consulting engineers. Pedestrian access is still through a grimy subway from the far side of Woolwich Church Street, rather than down any more convenient flight of adjacent steps.
Most of the western side of Europe Road is taken up by St Domingo House, a twelve-storey block of flats, most especially its bin store and an access ramp. Of more relevance is nine-storey Sovereign House to the east, because its postal address is officially Europe Road SE18.
A lofty security camera watches over all.
Closer to the river the maisonette blocks begin, most of which are technically on Resolution Walk. Only five front doors face Europe Road, each property gifted a small front garden behind a low wooden fence. The majority now have a satellite dish. Number 4 has gone to the effort of a tiled address.
I passed only one local resident out and about, and he was a shaven headed man leading a Staffordshire bull terrier on a long lead. It would be wrong to draw too many conclusions from a single random interaction. Equally, it might be wrong to draw too few.
Europe Road's most intriguing landscape feature is the dry dock at the far end - one of two, and best seen from the Thames Path. Today both are sealed off and in decay, but in 1979 these formed the South-East London Aquatic Centre, a hub for canoeing, diving, and fishing.
Both graving docks date back to the 1840s when they were part of the Woolwich Naval Dockyard, a nationally significant facility which once covered this entire waterfront zone. We're very close to the spot where it all kicked off in 1512 when work began on the Great Harry, the largest warship of its day.
Europe Road thus marks the heart of centuries of maritime tradition. It's where Henry VIII planned his assault on the continent. It's the backbone of Empire broken by globalisation. It's a residential backwater mired in austerity. It tells us everything and nothing about the state of Britain in Europe today.
I would like to apologise for several inaccuracies on my blog this year, all of which have been pointed out by readers, but none of which have been retrospectively amended.
Yesterday I stated that within the ULEZ a 13 year-old petrol-driven car pays nothing, whereas in fact "it's the driver or keeper who pays, not the vehicle. There's a horrible tendency to blame the machine, not the person in charge." My apologies.
On 2nd April I used an official online portal to compare the area of London's lakes, whereas in fact one of my readers would have measured the area of constituent lakes using a different rationale, but it was "an interesting list and website, nonetheless!" My apologies.
On 31st March I concluded that Brexit might save the UK from a Summer Time choice affecting all of us forever, whereas in fact "it's a bit of an exaggeration to say 'forever', when the EU could decide to reverse the decision in decades to come, if it proves unpopular." My apologies.
On 30th March I described Chertsey's Sainsburys as enormous, whereas in fact "compared to most out-of-town supermarkets nowadays, it's quite bijou." My apologies.
On 29th March I incorrectly named a first aid group in a post about Brexit, whereas in fact "because DG never gets things wrong I am sure his use of St John’s Ambulance is a deliberate mistake instead of the correct St John Ambulance." My apologies.
On 28th March I suggested there were too many royal names on the Beckton branch of the DLR, whereas in fact "you can hardly have a surfeit of regal titles in the old Royal Docks. It is the Royal Docks." My apologies.
On 20th March I listed both the 11th century and time immemorial in a list dating UK cities, whereas in fact "in English law 'time immemorial' means before the start of the reign of Richard I, 6 July 1189", so it was improper of me to have provided the additional categorisation. My apologies. I was also unadvisedly unspecific when defining a cathedral city, whereas in fact "there are Roman Catholic cathedrals in several places you have listed as not having one". My apologies.
On 18th March I insinuated that Bombardier were the first recipients of TfL's 4LM signalling contract, whereas "the Bombardier contract was the 2nd attempt. The original contract was with Invensys (Nee Westinghouse, now Siemens Automation) for a system very similar to that on the Victoria line. This contract was part of the Metronet PPP. LU chose to let the contract 'die' when bringing Metronet out of administration." My apologies.
On 13th March I incorrectly hinted that the entire contents of the The Museum of British Transport shifted to Syon Park in 1973, whereas in fact "the collection was actually split. The London stuff going to Syon Park and most of the railway stock like Mallard going to the extended York museum." My apologies.
On 12th March I referred to the marker on top of Pollards Hill without specifically mentioning the metal disc on top of it, which isn't how one particular reader would have written things. "Pedestal? Don't you mean toposcope?" My apologies.
On 10th March I listed numerous features visible from the route of the number 54 bus, whereas in fact "You forgot to mention how Beckenham's Three Tuns used to host David Bowie and his Arts Lab music nights in the '70s." My apologies.
On 7th March I mistakenly stated that Verde in Victoria was a 21st century building, whereas "Verde is not a new building but a refurb/minor extension of an already very large '80's? Government building (last home to DCMS I think)." My apologies.
On 6th March I said that Legible London maps were enamel, whereas in fact I was wrong because "the map panels of the Legible London signs are glass with the map printed on a sticker on the inside, to allow for easier updating. The direction panels at the top and bottom are enamel, as they don't tend to need changed as frequently." My apologies.
On 2nd March I gave a false reason to explain why Bus Stop M's bus stop bypass did not originally feature a mini zebra crossing, whereas in fact "they weren't built in 2015 because they only became legal after with the introduction of the Traffic Signs Regulations and General Directions 2016." My apologies.
On 27th February I rounded off my Independent Local Radio post by referencing the imminent arrival of a Toby Anstis show across the network, whereas in fact "all of these stations already have Toby Anstis. Shame, your summarising sentence lets down an informative and mostly accurate post." My apologies.
On 21st February I suggested that Citymapper's Smart Ride service used black cabs, whereas in fact "the Smart Rides aren't in a black cab, but in a people-carrier minicab", coincidentally black in colour. My apologies.
On 14th February I postulated that a raindrop falling in Barnet might reach the Thames at Staines, whereas in fact "your reasoning falls somewhat though thanks to man-made waterways. Most of the water goes via the Grand Union Canal to Brentford or via Little Venice, Kings' Cross & your own neck of the woods to Limehouse (or via the Lea) then the Thames. The water travels perhaps fifty, sixty or seventy miles rather than the 100 miles you specify." My apologies.
On 11th February I mentioned the northbound platform at West Ham, whereas in fact "interesting post, but in the interest of accuracy West Ham's Jubilee platforms are eastbound and westbound. The Jubilee is officially west and east until Green Park where it becomes north and south respectively!" My apologies. I also referred to a map as fireproof, whereas in fact "nothing's 'fireproof' - raise the ambient temperature enough and anything will ignite. 'Fireproofing' is raising the ignition point higher than the expected range of events - melamine burns at too low a temperature which is why that excellent material is no longer used on the Underground." My apologies.
On 6th February I asserted that OpenStreetMap was copyright free, whereas in fact "OSM is not free from copyright, but it's licensed under a very permissive copyright licence, specifically the Open Data Commons Open Database License which basically ensures anyone who modifies and then distributes the map must release their modifications under the same licence, as well as attributing OpenStreetMap." My apologies.
On 5th February I used an inappropriate collective noun when describing vehicles pouring off the Woolwich Ferry, whereas in fact "I don't think the collective noun for traffic is 'hordes'. Nevertheless, an excellent piece of reporting." My apologies.
On 3rd February I mislabelled a disused feature on the Grand Surrey Canal, whereas in fact "a 'swing bridge' is one that pivots horizontally, and that magnificent red bridge is a rolling bascule bridge." My apologies.
On 28th January I was disparaging about the success of a West London football club, whereas in fact "I wouldn't say that Yeading FC's merger with Hayes was a complete failure. After all, they managed to get promoted to the Conference National in only their second season and managed to spend 3 seasons there. It was when they started groundsharing that the decline set in." My apologies.
On 14th January I over-confidently stated that someone in a control room must be responsible for defining service status on the Underground, whereas in fact "I wonder how automated this process is, because the only condition requiring human input is whether a train is in operation or cancelled, from what I can see the rest can be derived from network data, theoretically, therefore no human would be needed for escalation other than monitoring and organising response actions. But I haven't the slightest idea how control rooms work." My apologies.
On 8th January I selected an inappropriate verb when describing boat crews on water, whereas in fact "eights and fours would be rowing, not sculling. Octuples and quads might be sculling." My apologies.
On 7th January I described a school in Upminster as being formerly in Mile End, whereas in fact "the school was never actually in Mile End (as I understand it's boundaries in as much as they have any definition) but was formed by the merger of a girls' school in Bow (where a street, or rather a square, is named after its founder) with a boy's school latterly in Stepney", and thus my own hyper-local knowledge was deemed to be inadequate. My apologies.
Finally on 6th August 2017 I stated that the former Post Office depot opposite the former Camberwell station was now Camberwell Bus Garage, which I believed to be true until a reader took time out this week to email me because my post had confused him, whereas in fact "while the Post Office has a delivery depot in Camberwell Staton Road close to the bus garage, Camberwell bus garage has always been a bus garage. It was opened in 1914 but was immediately requisitioned by the War Office for the duration of WW1 and has been a bus garage ever since 1919. Significantly damaged by bombing during WW2, it was repaired during 1950 and this section can be identified by the yellow stock bricks used at the time." How obvious it all now seems. My apologies.
I accept that I was entirely wrong, excessively vague or technically incorrect in each and every case specified above. I apologise for ignoring your corrections and leaving false information on the web. I acknowledge that you would have written things differently had you written a post on the same subject. Please be aware that this factual inaccuracy will inevitably continue.
Yesterday the Ultra Low Emission Zone, or ULEZ, came into operation in central London, aimed at curbing exorbitantly high levels of urban pollution.
If you'd like to read a serious article about the zone, how we got it and what it builds on, I can heartily recommend this post by London Reconnections. Or you can watch some proper BBC London reportage on Tom Edwards' YouTube channel. I merely went for a walk around the outside of it, which is a mostly pointless activity, and undeniably bad for one's health. I did however get some good photos of the new signs.
The ULEZ covers the same area as the Congestion Charge Zone, introduced in 2003, so hasn't cost a huge amount to implement. All the cameras and payment mechanisms are already in place, so all that's had to go up are new green signs alongside the old red ones.
The ULEZ covers the same area as the Congestion Charge Zone, and is targeted at users of high polluting vehicles. A daily charge is applied for driving inside the zone, and diesels bear the brunt.
Roughly speaking, you have to pay if your vehicle was registered...
• before 2005:cars with petrol engines (Euro 4)
• before 2006:vans with petrol engines (Euro 4)
• before 2007:motorbikes(Euro 3)
• before 2014: lorries, coaches and larger vehicles(Euro VI)
• before September 2015:cars with diesel engines (Euro 6)
• before September 2016:vans with diesel engines (Euro 6)
So a 13 year-old petrol-driven car pays nothing, but a 3 year-old diesel-driven van pays full whack.
For cars, vans and motorbikes the daily charge is £12.50.
For lorries, coaches and larger vehicles it's a whopping £100.
The fine for not paying promptly is £160 for smaller vehicles and £1000 for larger vehicles.
The fine is halved if paid within 14 days.
There are several exemptions...
» Residents registered for a Congestion Charge discount (until 24 Oct 2021)
» Not-for-profit minibuses (until 30 Oct 2023)
» Keepers of vehicles registered with a 'disabled' tax class (until 26 Oct 2025)
» Designated wheelchair-accessible private hire vehicles (until 26 Oct 2025)
» London-licensed taxis
» Historic vehicles built more than 40 years ago
» Agricultural vehicles
» Military vehicles
» Excavators
» Certain types of mobile crane
» Some showman's vehicles
The ULEZ applies 24 hours a day, whereas the Congestion Charge only applies between 7am and 6pm on weekdays. Vehicles get to pay both. For daytime drivers that's £12.50 on top of the existing £11.50, i.e. £24 a day. Could be £120 a week, i.e. £6000 a year. This is why your Uber fare has gone up.
Cutting noxious emissions is undeniably the right thing to do, whatever the individual cost. But all the signs I saw around the Congestion Charge boundary are only temporary, and the next stage of the project could prove a lot more controversial.
In October 2021 the ULEZ will be expanding to cover the whole of London inside the North and South Circular Roads, which'll bring millions more people into its financial remit. Every time you drive a non-compliant vehicle within this extended zone, it'll cost. A trip to the shops, a drive to see gran, the school run, they'll all set you back £12.50 a day.
The entirety of Westminster, Kensington & Chelsea, Hammersmith & Fulham, Camden, Haringey, Islington, Hackney, Newham, Tower Hamlets and the City of London will be covered. Thanks to geography no south London borough will be affected in its entirety (although Southwark almost is). That's still a lot of votes to lose.
Backstreet residents in Bowes Park, Beckton, Barnes and Blackheath are going to have to stump up, or change their cars. This is of course the intention, or better still to nudge people to switch to walking, car clubs and public transport. But for the less well-off with a second-hand diesel parked out front, with limited resale value and only 30 months to make a difference, it's going to be a whopping shock.
As for cameras, it's all very well having them at entrances to the Congestion Charge zone, but the North and South Circulars are on a totally different scale. It would be prohibitively expensive to install CCTV at every junction on the new perimeter, especially in South London where the road's not dualled. But it's scarier than that - the ULEZ also needs to capture every significant vehicle movement within the intervening 150 square miles, which potentially requires Big Brother levels of surveillance.
We know the Met Police have cameras all over the city to keep tabs on vehicles of interest as required. What's intriguing is that data from this covert network might soon be used, in conjunction with additional cameras as necessary, to confirm ULEZ status and pass on details for daily charging. Twenty years ago this couldn't have been done, but we now live in an era where transport surveillance is commonplace, indeed widely accepted, and being used to discourage high-polluting journeys.
You can imagine suburban car owners experimenting to find a route to the shops that the cameras don't capture. You can imagine drivers choosing not to fill up with petrol on Thursday if they won't be driving anywhere else until Friday. You can imagine Auntie Jean choosing not to pop down and visit her relatives in Cricklewood because she doesn't understand how the system works, or failing to realise she needed to pay and being whacked with a £160 fine she's unaware of. It may be just as well that the implementation date for the extended ULEZ is safely beyond the date of the next mayoral election.
I live within the extended zone but I don't drive, I only breathe, so I'm more than happy to see this groundbreaking scheme rolled out further. What's more I've been living on a main road for years, long before vehicle emission standards improved, so must have been doing my lungs no favours every single time I went out. The price of limiting this invisible killer is high, but surely worthwhile for the health of Londoners of all ages. And maybe one day a walk round the edge of the Congestion Zone will be a sightseeing pleasure, not a bloody stupid life-limiting thing to do.
No weekend is complete without a visit to Ruxley, the charming outer London suburb on the Maidstone Road, handily straddling the boroughs of Bexley and Bromley. [map]
The Anglo-Saxons knew an excellent location when they saw it, erecting a timber church on the flanks of Ruxley Hill. Later this became the administrative centre for the entire Hundred of Ruxley, a swathe of Kent stretching from Bexley to Biggin Hill. Ruxley's influence has diminished somewhat since those heady medieval days, and the Sidcup bypass now allows passing traffic to give it a miss. But you'd be a fool to skirt Ruxley altogether, thronged as it is with leisure opportunities and cultural gems.
Most visitors arrive in Ruxley at Ruxley Corner, the 5-way roundabout where a rural crossroads once stood. Ruxley is easily approached by car, or indeed thundering lorry, thanks to its convenient location almost on the A20. It's also a great place to buy a car, thanks to showrooms for BMW, Lexus, Toyota and Porsche, not to mention a great place to stop for petrol, courtesy of a BP filling station at each end of the village.
Stop by at Ruxley Corner Industrial Estate and you can't fail to be impressed by the Richard Klinger Factory. This Modernist gem opened in 1938 for the production of valves and compressed fibre gaskets, and was Grade II listed in 1999 shortly before the Austrian owners closed it down. Everything behind the buff brick frontage has now been knocked down and replaced by a big aluminium shed, thankfully ending two decades of decay, and Halfords will be opening in one of the units shortly.
RuxleyLakes officially form south London's largest expanse of open water. This remarkable wildlife oasis was formed by flooding former gravel pits alongside the River Cray, and now provides a rare wetland habitat for waterfowl and over 500 known plant species. Alas the lakes are almost entirely invisible from outside, and jealously guarded by the Orpington & District Angling Association. But if you've not pre-booked with the warden, don't worry, it's relatively easy to shimmy down a roadside verge and spot a dumped shopping trolley in the northern outflow.
Also hidden from prying visitors is Ruxley Wood, a large deciduous enclosure covering most of the hilltop (and currently ablaze with fresh green foliage). The A20 borders one flank, as previously illustrated, while a run of railings and hastily repaired fencing prevents access from Sandy Lane. For a tantalising glimpse climb the claustrophobic footpath from Maidstone Road towards the phone mast at the summit, past the sign saying Dangerous Animals Do Not Enter. This month a burgeoning carpet of bluebells is spreading forth, in some places pushing through the barriers onto the path, but it would be inappropriate to step across the toppled barbed wire for a closer look.
The chief reason not to trespass is that you might get shot. Ruxley Wood is home to the village's premier attraction for pre-pubescent youth, stag and hen parties - Combat Laser Games. This epic hideaway offers paintball without the paint, preferring instead to shoot participants with lasers until the lights on their camouflage hat illuminate. A two-hour Hero's session costs £23, but for that you do get free cups of squash, unlimited shots and the chance to stomp threateningly through the bluebells. Younger customers evidently love it.
For older visitors, horticulture triumphs. Ruxley Nursery shouts boldly from the roadside, courtesy of a strategically placed double decker bus. Its blind confirms the place was established by Raymond and Audrey Wise on 25th June 1958, and if you step inside you'll find a selection of vases, watering cans and other garden accoutrements. Over in the polytunnels are colourful acers, palms and cordylines, many Italian-sourced, while umpteen bags of compost are stacked beside the trellises. The overall vibe is as homely as a garden centre should be.
But everyone's nextdoor, at Ruxley Manor. This 5th-generation family business isn't so much a garden centre as a Total Leisureware Nexus, as the scale of the hillside car park attests. Push through the turnstiles to enter a grand bazaar of frostproof pottery, ornamental roses and colour-coded perennials, and that's just for starters. Within the main building are everything a Kentish couple might want to spend their surplus money on, including tanks of tropical fish, weatherproof cushions, fibreglass animals, turbo barbecue sets and humorous signs to hang on the door of your Man Cave. You probably have relatives who could spend hours here - I certainly do.
Weary shoppers are invited to enjoy refreshment in the modern Mulberry Tree cafeteria (Chicken Fricasse £9.99) before exiting through the Food Hall. This freshly-opened bolthole is piled high with speciality treats that exceed your average farmers market, assuming your palate's not too spicy, plus a Butchers of Brogdale counter in the corner just before the tills. Other concessions on site include a hot tub specialist, a barber's shop for bored husbands and the rustic Coach House restaurant, which serves seafood and traditional Italian cuisine 1980s-style, much to any retired couple's delight.
There is indeed a manor house at Ruxley Manor, of 17th century vintage with a 400-year-old mulberry outside, and is now used as a kindergarten. Its presence confirms that the garden centre is built across the village's historic heart, as becomes self-evident if you park your car near the uppermost trolley bay and investigate the 13th century building opposite. This was formerly St Botolph's Church, a simple aisleless building constructed of flint and stone rubble, but de-parished in 1557 and turned over for use as a barn. It's still used for storage, and retains an arched piscina and double sedilia, but unless you're a green-jacketed employee you'll not be going inside.
If you were initially skeptical that Ruxley might be thronged with leisure opportunities and cultural gems, I trust you now think differently. Many's the family who make tracks here of a weekend to enjoy the garden centres, laser battlefield and varied dining opportunities, not to mention the twice-weekly boot sale on the farm I haven't had time to mention. Core entertainment values in outermost London are very different to the gimmicky world Time Out reports on, far closer to what the rest of the country enjoys, so add Ruxley to your bucket list for a truly traditional day out.
A1000 Great North Road
A1081 St Albans Road
A1 Barnet Bypass
A411 Barnet Lane
Midland Main Line
A41 Watford Bypass
A5 Brockley Hill
M1 (J4)
A409 Heathbourne Road
A4140 High Road
A4008 South Oxhey Lane
West Coast Main Line
A4125 Watford Road
Metropolitan Line
A404 Rickmansworth Road
East Coast Main Line
A111 Stagg Hill
A1005 The Ridgeway
M25
Hertford Loop Line
A10 Gt Cambridge Rd
Southbury Loop
A1010 High Street
West Anglia Main Line
M25
A112 Sewardstone Road
A1069 Rangers Road
A104 Epping New Road
A121 High Road
Central Line
M11
(High Speed 2)
Chiltern Main Line
A40 Western Avenue
A4020 Oxford Road
A4007 Slough Road
Great Western Main Line
Staines & West Drayton
M4 (J4b)
M25 (J15)
A4 Colnbrook Bypass
M25 (J14)
A3044 Stanwell Moor Road
A30 Staines Road
Waterloo to Reading Line
A244 Chertsey Road
A316 Country Way
Shepperton Line
A308 Staines Road East
Motorways,
A Roads and
railway lines
which cross the
Greater London
boundary
A113 Chigwell Road
A123 Fencepiece Road
Central Line
A1112 Romford Road
M25
A12 Colchester Road
A1023 Brook Street
M25 (J28)
Great Eastern Main Line
M25
A127 Southend Arterial Road
London Tilbury & Southend
LT&S (Ockendon)
M25
A13 Thames Gateway
A1306 London Road
LT&S (Rainham)
High Speed 1
River Thames
A309 Hampton Court Bridge
A307 Portsmouth Road
South Western Main Line
A3 Kingston Bypass
A243 Leatherhead Road
A240 Kingston Road
Mole Valley Line
A24 London Road
Sutton & Mole Valley Line
A232 Cheam Road
A217 Belmont Rise
Epsom Downs Line
A2022 Croydon Lane
Tattenham Corner Line
A23 Brighton Road
Brighton Main Line
(Quarry Line) (Redhill Line)
A206 Thames Road
North Kent Line
Dartford Loop Line
A207 Crayford Road
A2 Rochester Way
A2018 Old Bexley Lane
A20 Sidcup Bypass
Chatham Main Line
M25 (J4)
A224 Orpington Bypass
South Eastern Main Line
A233 Westerham Hill
Oxted Line
A22 Godstone Road
Caterham Line
It's five years since the heart of the Olympic Park reopened as a recreational space. The northern chunk had opened in 2013, but this was the central swathe at the better-connected end of E20, creating a brand new leisure hub for East London and beyond. It's not yet fully finished, and it's not all grand, but it is a genuine legacy where other Games have delivered tumbleweed.
The chief triumph is the landscaping which wowed the public in 2012 and still delivers. Lawns, beds and broad promenades weave north along the central spine between two deep channels, the park's crack team of gardeners never too far away. At present the floral offering's mostly dandelions, this not being the best time of year to enjoy seasonal colour, but poppies are starting to make their presence felt by the central bridge and there'll be plenty for gardening-types to pick over and admire later. The wild flower meadows have long faded, though, and each successive year ratchets down QEOP's horticultural spectacle somewhat.
I remain impressed that the Park has become somewhere people actually want to go, not just because of what it once was but because of what it is now. Wandering round yesterday I passed tourists from Germany, phones poised, and Hammers fans making a pilgrimage to the club store. But I also saw family groups on the play equipment, urban yoof scooting through on hire bikes and uniformed kids clustered on riverside benches for an after-school briefing. The number of visitors picks up as the day draws on, and with school holidays imminent peak Park season is approaching. Hopefully that means the splashy fountains get turned back on soon.
Proximity to Westfield helps keep 'em coming. The current connection runs through a privately-owned office piazza, past the electric scooter hire point and the Visitor Information prefab. Pop inside for a free map or trail guide (recommended), or a copy of the massively out-of-date Park magazine plugging autumn leaf spectacle and Christmas treats. I find the Aquatics Centre unwelcoming, not being a swimmer, its public gallery portal invariably closed (unlike the Velodrome up the other end of the park where you can simply wander inside, grab a beverage and take a seat to watch the on-track action).
The reopened Carpenters Lock looks sparkling, perhaps because hardly any boats ever go through it. The Great British Garden remains beautifully planted, and my favourite swinging bench has been repaired. The apple blossom in Mandeville Place, planted to echo the Paralympic Opening Ceremony's apple-fixation, provides a rustic contrast to the blue hoardings immediately behind. The stadium's outer rim is lined with burger vans and lager kiosks carefully targeted at the unadventurous cuisine favoured by West Ham's older fans. The bright orange climbing wall still reels them in, even without regular supervision. But not everywhere's doing great.
'Please do not write on these cubes' says the notice beside the wall of rotating blocks on the main promenade, where every surface of every cube has now been scribbled on. Surplus Water Chariots, dubiously acquired for brief waterbus tours up the Park and back, have been sitting out the winter beside mute swan pedalos. And the ViewTube's given up the ghost again, its third tenants having given up the fight atChristmas, with most of their fixtures and fittings either stacked up inside or dumped out front. Poplar HARCA are currently looking for someone new to invest in this increasingly remote spot, should any of you be interested in throwing away your savings.
The Orbit hasn't been the moneyspinner planners originally hoped, even with an extra white-knuckle slide attached. I heard nobody descend, indeed I watched almost nobody go in, and those that did looked like they were using a London Pass to get in free. Tickets for this birthday weekend are only £5, by the way, but limited to 500 in total (although I doubt they'll sell out). The neighbouring Podium cafe also feels much quieter than it should, its earlier upmarket vibe now traded in for Heineken and Cornetto, and the gift shop round the back has morphed into a mostly-unused meeting room. If you truly need refreshment, again head north where the community-focused Timber Lodge exudes tons more class.
I find a good walk round the park always reaps visual rewards, especially down at the water's edge. But some of the towpaths still lead nowhere, even five years on, and a lot of the surrounding development has yet to complete. Building sites now hem the park to the west (the Sweetwater residential district plus new road network) and to the east (the East Bank cultural quarter, just started), because the whole point of the Park was always as a magnet for development. Expect fencing to go up round the South Lawn before too long for the construction of the UCL East university campus, and if you come back to QEOP in another five years time the whole place'll again look very different.
All kittens are cats.
Some kittens are monsters. ∴ Some monsters are cats.
The first statement is the major premise.
The second statement is the minor premise.
Both premises are assumed to be true.
The final statement is the conclusion.
∴ stands for 'therefore'
The conclusion is a logical deduction from the two premises.
If the first two statements are true, then the third must be too.
There are 24 distinct valid syllogisms.
Here's an example of each.
All/All
All kittens are cats.
All cats are monsters. ∴ All kittens are monsters.
All kittens are cats.
All cats are monsters. ∴ Some kittens are monsters.
All kittens are cats.
All kittens are monsters. ∴ Some monsters are cats.
All kittens are cats.
All cats are monsters. ∴ Some monsters are kittens.
All/No
All kittens are cats.
No monsters are cats. ∴ No monsters are kittens.
All kittens are cats.
No cats are monsters. ∴ No monsters are kittens.
All kittens are cats.
No monsters are cats. ∴ Some monsters are not kittens.
All kittens are cats.
No cats are monsters. ∴ Some monsters are not kittens.
All kittens are cats.
No cats are monsters. ∴ No kittens are monsters.
All kittens are cats.
No monsters are cats. ∴ No kittens are monsters.
All kittens are cats.
No monsters are cats. ∴ Some kittens are not monsters.
All kittens are cats.
No cats are monsters. ∴ Some kittens are not monsters.
All kittens are cats.
No monsters are kittens. ∴ Some cats are not monsters.
All kittens are cats.
No kittens are monsters. ∴ Some cats are not monsters.
All/Some
All kittens are cats.
Some monsters are kittens. ∴ Some monsters are cats.
All kittens are cats.
Some kittens are monsters. ∴ Some monsters are cats.
All kittens are cats.
Some monsters are kittens. ∴ Some cats are monsters.
All kittens are cats.
Some kittens are monsters. ∴ Some cats are monsters.
All kittens are cats.
Some monsters are not cats. ∴ Some monsters are not kittens.
All kittens are cats.
Some kittens are not monsters. ∴ Some cats are not monsters.
Some/No
Some cats are kittens.
No kittens are monsters. ∴ Some cats are not monsters.
Some cats are kittens.
No monsters are kittens. ∴ Some cats are not monsters.
Some cats are kittens.
No cats are monsters. ∴ Some kittens are not monsters.
Some cats are kittens.
No monsters are cats. ∴ Some kittens are not monsters.
The Greeks had all this sorted.
They did not use kittens in their examples.
n.b. Technically 9 of the 24 rely on an additional assumption, which is that the category in question is not empty. If the category is empty, this triggers the existential fallacy. For example...
All kittens are cats.
All kittens are monsters. ∴ Some monsters are cats.
...is not true if there are no kittens. But let's not worry about that.
All kittens are cats.
All cats are monsters. ∴ Some monsters are not kittens.
None of these are valid arguments.
None of the conclusions follow logically, even if it looks like they do.
And I mention all of this syllogism stuff because we live at a time when false arguments are rife.
Sometimes the argument doesn't follow from the evidence given.
Sometimes the premise isn't true, however convincing the conclusion looks.
∴ Be careful out there.
Today we're at Stratford station, where a platform change was implemented in July last year.
Inexplicably passengers are still hearing about that platform change TWENTY-FOUR times an hour, NINE months later.
Is this London's Most Pointlessly Excessive Station Announcement?
The platform change affects the three Jubilee line platforms, and particularly platform 13.
Previously when you turned up to catch a Jubilee line train, you couldn't be certain whether the next train would leave from platform 13, 14 or 15.
The next train might be leaving from platform 13 or 14 or 15, and to discover which you had to squint at a tiny display, and maybe run down the platform to cram into the first carriage, and if you missed it you might have then to trek across to a completely different non-adjacent platform. This could be a right pain.
The problem was solved with the introduction of a new timetable which stopped trains terminating in platform 13. Now trains only arrive or depart from platforms 14 or 15, and these are immediately adjacent, so departing passengers always go to the same place and it's much easier to tell which train is leaving next.
Technically there are certain times when platform 13 is still used. These are early in the morning, late in the evening, on Sundays after 7pm and when the Night Tube's running. But most of the time it's definitely closed and every train uses platforms 14 and 15 instead.
If you turn up at the Jubilee line platforms, you will not head for platform 13. This is because...
a) there's no train in platform 13.
b) the next train indicator tells you to go to platform 14 or 15.
c) a sign at the end of the platform 13 tells you platform 13 is not in use.
It's not rocket science.
But staff at Stratford station still insist on playing a message telling passengers about the change astonishingly frequently.
The message was recorded in a cheery blokey voice, once heard never forgotten.
The message plays across a large proportion of the station.
It plays in the subways.
It plays on the main concourse.
It plays on the lower DLR platforms.
It plays on the upper DLR platforms.
It even plays on the Jubilee line platforms themselves.
Nobody on the Jubilee line platforms needs to hear the message. They do not need advice to "make your way to platform 14 or 15 for Jubilee line departures" because they are already there.
The message plays every five minutes throughout the day.
The message plays TWELVE TIMES AN HOUR.
This is the same frequency as the message about travel disruption and engineering works.
This is more frequently than the message about contactless travel.
This is more frequently than the message about health and safety.
This is more frequently than the message about security.
And because the announcement includes the same information twice, that's a total of TWENTY-FOUR mentions an hour, which is overkill even for something important, which this message no longer is.
I've tried to work out why an announcement first recorded NINE months ago is still being played.
Regular travellers don't need to hear it because they already know what they're doing.
Semi-regular travellers don't need to hear it again because they must have heard it by now.
Occasional travellers don't need to hear it because there's a sign at the end of the platform to nudge them elsewhere.
Even travellers turning up for the first time don't need to hear it because it should be bloody obvious there isn't a train on platform 13.
Twenty-four times an hour.
Hundreds of times a day.
At least a thousand times a week.
Tens of thousands of times since July.
Why wasn't this unnecessary information silenced months ago?
Is this London's Most Pointlessly Excessive Station Announcement?
Tonight's the night that Tottenham Hotspur's new saucerlike stadium officially opens, heralding a new era of traffic congestion and matchday experience. It'll no longer be called White Hart Lane, and soon neither will the adjacent station, but White Hart Lane itself still exists, and I've been out walking its full two-mile length.
White Hart Lane was already in existence four hundred years ago, when North London was mostly fields, although under a different name. The main roads hereabouts were Green Lanes and the High Road, running north/south, with a handful of country lanes strung out connecting the two. Linking Wood Green to Tottenham were Berry Lane (now Lordship Lane) and, a bit further to the north, the meandering wiggle that concerns us here. For most of its length it was originally called Apeland Street, but it made sense for the Tottenham end to be known as White Hart Lane after the local coaching inn where the lane branched off, and that name eventually spread. The White Hart pub has been rebuilt several times since the 1600s, most recently around 1900, but ironically had to be demolished to make way for the stadium that would no longer bear its name. [map 1619][map 1856][map 1894][66 pages of pub history]
I'm starting my walk in Wood Green, not at the modern hub down by the tube station but at the historic focus a short distance up Church Hill. White Hart Lane begins opposite Haringey Civic Centre (built in the 1950s on the site of the Fishmongers' and Poulterers' Almshouses), close to St Michael's church, adjacent to Crescent Gardens. The first building on the corner used to be the Kings Arms Hotel, opened in 1870, but there's less call for assembly rooms and beer these days so upstairs is now the Grand Palace banqueting suite and downstairs serves coffee.
White Hart Lane is a phenomenally varied road, though in an understated way. It kicks off with some decent three storey Victorian terraces, their internal subdivision made clear by a plethora of tacked-on meter boxes and a multitude of bins out front. Beyond Ewart Grove we say goodbye to anything pre-20th century and hit a brief postwar estate, plus what looks like a sports pub on the corner but on closer inspection is now flats. Opposite is the green space of White Hart Lane Recreation Ground, which was taken over last summer to host the somewhat undersold Labour Live rally. The park's verdant aesthetics are diminished somewhat by a large drained scar down one side which used to be a model boating lake, recently pencilled in by Haringey council to become an ecology pond and turfed play area.
Wolves Lane has veered off here for centuries, and has no footballing connections, but there are heck of a lot of sporting facilities ahead. Welcome to New River Sport and Fitness, formerly White Hart Lane Community Sports Centre, whose extensive leisure opportunities include 22 kickabout spaces for Total Football (cash no longer accepted, debit or credit cards only). At the heart of the complex is the New River Stadium, home to the London Skolars, the capital's premier Rugby League team, or you can drop in at the London Boxing Academy for combat gym and martial arts. Users appear to be skewed very much towards the male end of the spectrum, but I did spot some football widows chatting in the car park.
On the bend ahead, where the TottenhamPotteries used to be, is the St George's Industrial Estate, now home to Tool Station, Plumbing Trading Supplies and Sema Cash & Carry. In September 2017 the Safehouse self storage facility turned out to be anything but safe as its warehouse went up in flames, and the locked site still looks despondently empty. Meanwhile across the road, beside the allotments, is the only football league club whose ground genuinely has a White Hart Lane address. Coles Park is home to HaringeyBorough FC, formerly Wood Green Town, who are currently riding high in the Bostik League Premier Division. Their bijou yellow and green grandstand seats 280. I note that the admission price for home games is only £10 but, cannily, the price for matchday parking when Spurs play at home is set at £15.
It's somewhere around here that the house numbers suddenly go into reverse, because White Hart Lane is numbered from each end for entirely postal reasons. At 500 is the only 21st century private housing development along the entire two miles, called Matrix, a generic six-storey stack on a brownfield site, and currently at the floors-but-no-walls stage. Local facilities include TS Wizard, the home of Haringey Sea Cadets, and a tiny Asda at the Texaco garage. The road ahead is suspiciously straight, which it turns out is because it isn't the original White Hart Lane but a diversion when the next bit was council-estated. WHL's original route was via what's now Compton Crescent, to the south, which remains less austerely regimented.
Wham, we've reached the Great Cambridge Road, the dualled highway which draws the A10 away from Tottenham proper. It's quite the intrusion. An unbroken parade of shops stretches south on both sides, separated by a footbridge, offering diverse takeaway, mobile and haircare services. Unbelievably this 100 metres of polluted retail also used to be White Hart Lane, back when it was a double-bend dawdle between open fields, before road planners in the 1920s decided otherwise.
And then we're back onto the original alignment for the rest of the way. The main feature ahead is Tottenham Cemetery, a much extended burial ground which reached White Hart Lane by spreading north of the River Moselle in 1913. Up one end is the 'Garden of Rememberance', with its ornamental lake and hundreds of small blocks commemorating the ashes of a loved one. It makes for a pleasant wander. The remainder of the northern cemetery is more open, with semi-higgledy plots and the occasional silent bouquet-leaver.
It's time for White Hart Lane's last wiggle, also straightened by a new road but this time not renamed. Most through traffic thus continues past the mini-roundabout along an addition called Creighton Road, while White Hart Lane bends left, right and eventually right again. The central bypassed 'island' started out as pasture, then became the site of Tottenham Grammar School, a historic establishment which moved to the site in 1938. Alas it had to close in 1988 due to falling rolls, so what we find today is a monotone housing estate that's a bit younger than the housing to either side. This is not the road's most characterful stretch.
We must be almost at the new stadium because this is where the road improvements start. The final section from Creighton Road has recently been upgraded with fresh tarmac, dropped kerbs and a series of block-edged flower beds (as yet incompletely cultivated). It's all part of a plan to prepare White Hart Lane for heavy footfall from supporters pouring off the Overground, as indeed they were at the weekend, heading en masse for a test event. Gents in blue, their blue mates and blue offspring marched merrily towards Spurs' redeveloped temple, over-eager to finally get the chance to see inside. Meanwhile takeaway owners watched patiently from their doorways, hoping that somebody would drop in for something Caribbean or a pre-match kebab.
The stadium looks amazing from the end of White Hart Lane, hovering like a silver spacecraft above a Georgian terrace on the High Road. On match days the scarf sellers are out in force, and the Metropolitan police, and a phenomenal number of zero-hours-contracted stewards. This hi-vis army blocks all access to the raised concourse until kick-off draws closer, leaving supporters to walk around at pavement level and chatter about the good old days, or brave the security arch to gain access to the club shop. A new lilywhite dawn approaches, and the community of N17 will have to get used to this massive invasive amphitheatre in its midst. The club may have abandoned White Hart Lane, but this old country track will always lead towards.
First reaction: I'd better Google that. Oh, that's not very helpful.
Second reaction: I should include 'area' in my search. Ah, that's better.
Discovery:Ooh, there's a UK Lakes Portal. It's a online collaboration between the Centre for Ecology & Hydrology, University College London and the UK conservation and environment agencies. It includes more than 40000 water bodies in England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and the Isle of Man with a surface area greater than one hectare. So it's pretty definitive.
Technicality: The list includes lakes, ponds and reservoirs.
Realisation: Ooh, you can zoom in and sort it by county. So...
London's 10 largest lakes
1)King George's Reservoir(163 hectares)
Also known as the King George V Reservoir. One of the two Chingford Reservoirs. Part of the Lea Valley Reservoir Chain. Located between Brimsdown and Ponders End (to the west) and Sewardstone and Chingford (to the east). Four miles long. Built between 1908 and 1912, and opened by the aforementioned monarch. Surrounded by a raised embankment, so cannot be seen at ground level. Eight metres deep, on average. Central puddle clay core. Divided into two compartments by an earth embankment. Limited public access. Permits available from Thames Water for birdwatching or sailing. Major wintering ground for wildfowl.
2)William Girling Reservoir(129 hectares)
The other one of the Chingford Reservoirs. Immediately to the south of King George's Reservoir. Part of the Lea Valley Reservoir Chain. Located between Ponders End and Edmonton (to the west) and Chingford (to the east). Three and a half miles long. Built between 1936 and 1951. Delayed by a) two dam failures in 1937 b) World War Two. Named after William Girling, Chairman of the Metropolitan Water Board in 1951. Surrounded by a raised embankment, so cannot be seen at ground level. Twelve metres deep, on average. No public access. One of London's principal winter gull roosts.
3)Brent Reservoir(49 hectares)
Located between Hendon and Wembley Park. On the boundary between Brent and Barnet. Built between 1836 and 1837. Formed by damming the River Brent, at its confluence with the Silk Stream. Water was needed to supply the Regent's Canal. Once covered 400 acres, but reduced to 195 acres in the 1890s, now 110 acres. Also known as the WelshHarp (after a former tavern on the Edgware Road). Popular leisure destination for Victorian picnickers. Now popular for sailing and other water sports.
4)Broadwater Lake(34 hectares)
Located in the Mid Colne Valley between Denham and Harefield. West of the Grand Union Canal, on the boundary with Buckinghamshire. One of several gravel pits, dredged in the 1960s, '70s and '80s. Nature reserve managed by the Hertfordshire and Middlesex Wildlife Trust. Contains several small islands.
5)Banbury Reservoir(28 hectares)
Another in the Lea Valley Reservoir Chain. Located just south of the North Circular, north of Walthamstow, adjacent to the Meridian Water development area. Completed in 1903. Approximately elliptical. No public access.
6)Lockwood Reservoir(27 hectares)
Largest of the Walthamstow Reservoirs. Part of the Lea Valley Reservoir Chain. Completed in 1903 by the East London Waterworks Company. Now owned by Thames Water. Eight metres deep, on average. No public access until 2017, but now open as part of the Walthamstow Wetlands. This is the northernmost reservoir (on the side of the road where the Visitor Centre isn't). Part of the rim is walkable.
7)The Serpentine(17 hectares)
Recreational lake in Hyde Park and Kensington Gardens. Created for Queen Caroline in 1730. Originally formed by damming the river Westbourne. Later fed from the Thames, now fed from three boreholes. Technically the western part is called the Long Water. One metre deep, on average. Contains a lido, supports pedalos, hosted the 2012 Olympic triathlon. Fronted by two restaurants and a Peter Pan statue. The largest lake most Londoners will have heard of.
8)Savay Lake(17 hectares) 9)unnamed lake(17 hectares)
Also in the Mid Colne Valley. Again flooded gravel pits. Technically seventh equal with the Serpentine. Located to either side of the Grand Union Canal, immediately to the north of the Chiltern mainline. Savay Lake lies west of the canal, adjacent to the Buckinghamshire border, and is well stocked with carp. The unnamed lake lies east of the canal, and is used for watersports by those at the Hillingdon Outdoor Activities Centre. HS2 will/should/may cross both lakes on a viaduct, to the annoyance of environmental campaigners. HS2 contractors are on site.
10)Ruislip Lido(15 hectares)
Reservoir in Ruislip Woods, north of Ruislip. Opened in 1811. Water was needed to feed the Grand Union Canal. Redeveloped as a lido in 1933, with beach and boats. Massively popular. Sailing ended in the 1970s when the water level was lowered to reduce the risk of flooding. Swimming no longer allowed. Beach remains. Part-circled by a narrow-gauge railway. Technically joint tenth with another of the Walthamstow Wetlands reservoirs.
Fri 1: After far too many years of not having a decent office chair to sit on at home, because my landlord's definition of 'furnished' doesn't include one, I have successfully assembled an IKEA swiveller and my posture thanks me for it. Sat 2: I got to be the sole foot passenger on the Woolwich Ferry, but had to endure the Health and Safety announcement played on repeat for a full ten minutes so it wasn't all good. Sun 3: I'm disappointed that my new cassette player, manufactured 2018, plays tapes less successfully than my ageing cassette player, manufactured 1988. Mon 4: The legendary Golf Sale, whose premises in Maddox Street were much pointed to on Oxford Street sandwich boards, has moved to a drab backstreet in Marylebone where it still sells bags and clubs and jackets, and its former premises are now empty with a lot of scaffolding out front.
Tue 5: The Heron, in Paddington, is an extraordinary pub which looks estate-bland from the outside but inside runs amok with royal memorabilia, including Charles and Di wedding plates across the ceiling, plus a special corner devoted to the twirly-moustached Handlebar Club. Wed 6: One of BestMate's neighbours received a misdirected letter from the Middle East last year, which has been sitting on his communal stairs ever since. The correct recipient lives only five minutes round the corner so I thought I'd be communally minded and drop it in on my way home, and my what a grim cul-de-sac that was. Thu 7: First bluebell of the year spotted, ridiculously early, in a churchyard in Bracknell. Fri 8: My supermarket receipt confirms the view that, in the current circumstances, you can never have enough cans of beans or tins of tuna. Sat 9: The best thing to do when your birthday is on a Saturday is to go back to the village where you were born and walk six miles round it, past mud and geese and daffodils and blossom, and then go out in the evening for salmon and cocktails overlooking the Olympic Stadium. Sun 10: I hadn't realised there used to be a Treborfactory in Forest Gate until I accidentally walked past it and spotted 'Trebor Quality Sweets' emblazoned across the front of what's now an apartment block.
Mon 11: Imagine the disappointment when you get to the top of a hill and someone is sitting on the trig point, and looks like staying a while, so you feel super awkward about being there and decide to go back down the hill and return later. Tue 12: I have become so conditioned to renewing my library books at the machine that when it broke down I wasn't sure how to go up to the desk and ask a real librarian, and I feel bad that I will ultimately make him redundant. Wed 13: My optician gave me ten free super-watery contact lenses, giving me the hard sell about how they'd definitely be more comfortable, but they proved not to be. Thanks for the extra free week anyway. Thu 14: Succumbed and ate another pack of no-longer-manufactured Cinnamon Tic Tacs. I probably ought to finish off last year's Creme Eggs first. Fri 15: The new mini zebra crossing at Bus Stop M now has two white stripes painted on it, so has become a proper mini zebra crossing.
Sat 16: English Heritage keep sending me stuff in the post, including an (unvalidated) membership card, a 2019 Members Handbook, their latest magazine and a card suggesting things to do in the Easter Holidays, despite the fact that my one year's membership expired several weeks ago. Sun 17: I can't get over how easy it is to walk into the heart of BBC Television Centre these days and walk around the Ariel fountain, but also how dead the place is now it's a housing development. Mon 18: Vodafone, who took over Demon Internet in 2012, have written to say they're shutting down the service imminently and listing my "impacted service references", and would I perhaps like to sign up to their broadband services instead, no pressure. Tue 19: Off to Norfolk because my Dad's bought a new computer with Windows 10, rather than Windows Obsolete, and because over-sensitive security settings are easier tweaked in person than over the phone. Also the village pub landlord is moving on, and it's important to have a final pie. Wed 20: My departure from Norfolk was thankfully not delayed by the Calor Gas man turning up and draping his big hose across the driveway. Thu 21: The long train journey to and from Birmingham proved the ideal opportunity to finish off Eric Idle's autobiography, which isn't all Monty Python, and proved a surprisingly good read.
Fri 22: The Greenway between Stratford High Street and the Olympic Park has now been closed for nine years and ten months, apart from a brief respite during the Olympics, but a sign from contractors working on behalf of Thames Water says it might actually be open next month. I'll believe that when it happens. Sat 23: My thanks to whoever it was on Twitter who pointed out the website Radio Garden, featuring online radio stations from around the world, because I've spent the evening twirling the globe and listening to Hott FM in Barbados, Quay FM in Alderney and 8CCC 102.1FM in Alice Springs. Sun 24: The central pathway across City Island is now open, as the Leamouth peninsula inexorably morphs into 90% flats. Mon 25: Geoff and Vicki of @allthestations have just started their quest to visit all 198 stations in the Republic of Ireland and Northern Ireland, and have been damned lucky with the weather. They'll be dropping a new video every day at 7pm over on YouTube, first video here, should you ultimately have several hours to spare. Tue 26: Meridian Water station looks close to completion, which is just as well given that Angel Road station (on the other side of the North Circular) closes in a couple of months.
Wed 27: Took BestMate for a walk along London Loopsection 20, to show him Chigwell and Hainault, but one footpath was so muddy we had to divert round a large paddock which meant we just missed the every-90-minutes bus at the end, and I think he's still speaking to me. Thu 28: Had today's planned day trip gone ahead I'd have needed to be up at stupid o'clock, and the weather wasn't very good anyway, so I think the postponement's a win. Fri 29: London's finest warning notice, at the Horniman Museum in Forest Hill, no longer says"Please do not touch the walrus". It says"Please do not touch the walrus or sit on the iceberg". Sat 30: I don't know what's up with the camera on my phone, but over the last few months it's been taking increasingly many photos of my legs and trousers rather than what I thought I was pointing at. Sun 31: My brother sent me a congratulatory message this morning because it's 20 years since I left my first career, and I sent him a congratulatory message back because as of today he has no more teenage offspring.
If you preferred this morning's video format, with backingmusic, click here.
