THE UNLOST RIVERS OF LONDON The Roxbourne Rayners Lane → South Ruislip → Northolt (3 miles)
[Roxbourne → Yeading Brook → Crane → Thames]
Eight years to the day since I started this feature, here's a niche waterway which crosses the suburbs between Harrow, Ruislip and Northolt. Officially it's the Eastern Arm of the Yeading Brook, a more substantial beast, but because it starts near Roxeth it's alternatively known as the Roxbourne. 100 years ago it crossed nothing but fields and the occasional lane, then Metroland arrived and claimed the valley for its own. What follows is therefore a walk across offradar chunks of Middlesex, although hang on to the end and we will eventually reach somewhere you've heard of. [map]
The Roxbourne rises in a park off Rayners Lane, quite near the southern end, not very close to the station. If you know where Rayners LaneFC play their minor league football matches it's right alongside, and if not just nod and read on. Welcome to Newton Farm Ecology Park, a successful attempt to reclaim an old council depot by creating a variety of natural habitats. It's maintained by volunteers who meet every Saturday morning, occasionally assisted by dosh from Greggs and the National Lottery, and who (judging by the text on their interpretation board) are fighting a constant battle against litter, dogmess and visitors who fail to throw invertebrates back into the pond. The source of the Roxbourne is somewhere behind the thicket of osiers by the blackthorn hedge. If you can dodge the smokers it's an attractive start.
Newton Park is divided in two by Alexandra Avenue, the chief thoroughfare the Metropolitan Railway built hereabouts, which briefly buries the Roxbourne beneath some flats. It emerges again in Newton Park West, a former sewage works recreationalised by the council in 1952. And whilst I can't speak for the quality of the sports pitches the wetland area is a really lovely space and by the looks of it a relatively recent creation. The stream meanders along a realistic-looking channel overdraped by willows, dotted with rocks and populated by the occasional duck. Pick your path and circulate between the reeds and rushes, maybe pause on a bench, and heavens this is much nicer than your average municipal culverting.
The aluminium spire visible across the park belongs to St Andrew's, a parish church built by perseverance. The first local residents had no proper place of worship, only a mission hall in South Harrow, but managed to raise £4000 which led to the laying of a foundation stone here by the river in 1954. They took the pulpit and pews from a surplus church in Edmonton, five bells from Bethnal Green and then used War Damage funds from bombed-out St Stephen's in Poplar to pay for the 49 stained glass windows. I was delighted to be able to slip inside for a few quiet minutes and admirethe interior with its vaulting roof, chunky font and vibrant glass - a true beacon of postwar optimism.
The church noticeboard calls this St Andrew's Roxbourne suggesting that the river has given its name to the locality, although little else here acts as a community focus. Roxbourne School and Roxbourne Park are all over half a mile away beside the other arm of the Yeading Brook, as is the ride-on Roxbourne Railway (which reopens Sunday 26th March). Rather closer to the stream is the Roxbourne Medical Centre, formerly Roxbourne Geriatric Hospital and before that Harrow Isolation Hospital for the confinement of patients with scarlet fever. Whatever this patch of wall-to-wall suburbia is really called, you wouldn't describe it as 'Roxbourne' if you wanted another Londoner to know where you meant.
The river then squeezes out of sight between back gardens on Leamington Crescent and Stuart Avenue, two backwaters I expect will never be mentioned on this blog again. It re-emerges at a metal screen on Field End Road where the Environment Agency scrape out gunk and check water levels. The shopping parade here is nameless but manages a Boots, a Tesco and a Greggs which is good going for somewhere mid-nowhere. Boundary watchers should note that the river has just passed from Harrow into Hillingdon... and has also entirely disappeared because Ruislip-Northwood Urban District were rather keener on burying things.
For over half a mile the Roxbourne lurks somewhere under Victoria Road, a traffic-choked feeder road lined by big sheds where NW Londoners drive to buy furniture, refrigerators, carpets and petfood. But it doesn't quite make it as far as the monumental Sainsbury's, it veers off at the appropriately named Brook Retail Park where it emerges from a dark concrete slot designed to cope with a lot more runoff than we've had lately. If you climbed down that ladder you could wade across the littered shallows into the gloomy netherworld beyond, but this is totally not recommended. Almost as unwelcoming is the waste transfer site at the end of Civic Way, which the culvert wisely dodges and instead curves away to carve beneath the railway embankment just east of South Ruislip station.
It requires a detour of almost a mile to dodge the railway and rejoin the river. Six avenues of tepid suburban semis come to a sudden halt round the back of South Park Way, the Roxbourne now dividing back gardens from the fields beyond. Only three properties lie beyond the stream, with access via a weak bridge whose 3 tonne limit must cause issues on removals day. An unsigned footpath tracks briefly along the waterside towards a squidgy wildflower meadow but is currently blocked off at the far end so best not try. Instead circle back through Stonefield Park - an underwhelming name of the first order - past a school indirectly named after the river, namely Bourne Primary. I see from a noticeboard outside the main entrance that their 'Value of the month' is Positivity, and I wish I felt more upbeat about that.
OK, now for the potentially well known bit. The 2000-seater grandstand backing onto the river belongs to McGovern Park, the headquarters of hurling and Gaelic football in the capital. Not much happens outdoors at this time of year because they have no floodlights. Across the road is RAF Northolt, the airfield many a civil jet takes off from, indeed you might well spot a financier launching over Ruislip. No recently deceased Queens are expected in the near-to-mid future. And in the southeast corner is the Polish War Memorial, better known to motorists on the A40 as a troubled road junction but actually an imposing eagle-topped pillar above a bright blue fountained pool. Also check out the joint Hillingdon/Poland Remembrance Garden behind, not because it's pretty but because it's there.
Sandwiched between the remembrance garden and the eastbound carriageway the Roxbourne reappears in a deep concrete channel wide enough to sail a boat down. You never would, the water's barely a few inches deep, but in case of mass inundation on the A40 it's good to know the infrastructure would cope. The culvert continues past the lower-than-usual lampposts which confirm an airfield is alongside, then ducks under the dual carriageway to re-emerge in a scrubby meadow. If you don't mind a grim particulate-belching walk along the A40 you can eventually reach this point, but alas there's no public access to the mid-field confluence where the western and eastern arms of the Yeading Brook merge. This arm peaked seven paragraphs back, so thank you for sticking with the Roxbourne to the bitter end.
Next week the London Underground is 160 years old.
This is less exciting than the Underground being 150 years old because that was a proper anniversary, but also more historic because the network's an extra decade older.
Reassuringly TfL have chosen to celebrate on the correct date this year. Back in 2013 they were insistent that the anniversary was 9th January, the day the Metropolitan Railway's directors went for an inaugural ride and had a slap up banquet. This year they've reverted to 10th January, the day the railway opened to the public, which is both more egalitarian and the correct date according to every other historical record.
Backslapping posters are now popping up at every tube station incorporating a bespoke heart-shaped logo marking 160 Years of Service. A special slogan is being promoted - LOVE THE TUBE - in the hope that everybody will. Most excitingly TfL are promising to hold a series of events throughout 2023 "so we can celebrate our birthday with you". I've managed to get hold of the list of events in advance and am pleased to being you this exclusive breakdown of what's being planned.
LOVE THE TUBE - a series of 160th anniversary tube events throughout 2023
Tuesday 10th January 2023
• A special anniversary service operates - trains between Paddington and Farringdon only.
• For one day only, fares within a single zone capped at £1.60.
• Mayor visits Baker Street station to make speech full of earnest platitudes.
• First 160 customers through the barriers at Euston Square given free pin badge.
Wednesday 11th January 2023
• RMT celebrate the anniversary of the first tube strike by starting overtime ban.
January 2023
• Horse-drawn omnibuses to be used on this weekend's rail replacement services.
• A history poster on the platform at Chancery Lane gains a '160 years' sticker.
• Signalling upgrade brings Barking and Upney two seconds closer together.
• Display of historic uniforms opens in disused ticket office at Kilburn Park.
February 2023
• London Transport Museum launches range of overpriced anniversary fripperies.
• Mayor pledges to extend the Bakerloo line to Lewisham within the next 160 years.
• Pret A Manger launches at-seat buffet service on trains to Amersham & Chesham.
• Free travel on the 160 bus brings cheer to commuters between Catford and Sidcup.
March 2023
• Fare rise restricted to 160%.
• Queen Victoria lookalike rides the escalators at Hyde Park Corner.
• A fresh series of Fierce Vids on the Underground celebrates 160 years of the Tube.
• TfL claims renaming Knightsbridge as Hey Qatar! is fine because it's "just an anniversary celebration".
April 2023
• The Jubilee line goes Contactless only.
• Kensington Olympia branch celebrates with services running every 160 minutes.
• The anniversary tube map, sponsored by Uber, is a blank sheet of paper.
• TfL release a '160 Years ❤️ Roundel' AR-filter to spice up your TikTok content.
May 2023
• Victoria line introduces kebab-free carriages.
• Video of Stormzy performing hand gesture at North Greenwich scheduled to go viral.
• TfL show their commitment to sustainability by handing out one million free #LOVETHETUBE tote bags.
• Oxford Circus station given temporary rebrand by Paramount Plus drama which nobody will watch.
June 2023
• Tube introduces weekend timetables on Mondays and Fridays.
• The King and Queen Consort visit Arnos Grove to shake hands with apprentices.
• Prince Harry visits Cockfosters for photo opportunity alongside roundel.
• Stations on the Northern line extension renamed with emojis - 🏏🌊⚡🚉 and 🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳🌳
July 2023
• Third class carriages introduced on the District line.
• Tracey Emin unveils divisive artwork inside westbound lift at Osterley.
• Anniversary year peaks as @TfL account tweets photograph of dog wearing moquette waistcoat.
• Mayor announces disused stations will be added to the tube map "because it's not yet crowded enough".
August 2023
• A steam train operates on whichever farflung bit of track hasn't had its signalling upgraded yet.
• During hot weather passengers will only be allowed onto trains if carrying a bottle of water.
• TfL launch new range of flavoured water products in a variety of citrus flavours.
• Neasden Depot finally holds the Open Day promised in August 2013.
September 2023
• Kingston Council obtains injunction against #LOVETHETUBE festivities on the grounds there is 'nothing to celebrate'.
• Hammersmith & City line rebrands as the Maybel-line in a jaunty shade of magenta.
• Covent Garden station closes permanently to save money with the slogan "Just Walk It!"
• World Accordion Festival held on the anti-clockwise Circle line.
October 2023
• 4G introduced in tunnels between Hendon Central and Colindale.
• 1st annual TubeNerd convention held in shelter at Roding Valley.
• London Transport Museum Late event celebrates the contribution of left-handed asexual employees of Welsh heritage.
• Minister For Levelling Up insists the number of London Underground stations be cut to 160.
November 2023
• First class lounge opens at Green Park for exclusive use by Google Pay users.
• Special 'Tube Map for 2160' shows half the network lost to sea level rise.
• Commemorative artwork sprayed across the tunnels between Manor House and Turnpike Lane.
• Mayor of London divests control of the Hainault shuttle to Essex County Council.
December 2023
• Last day of operation for the Hainault Shuttle.
• As part of an art project, a pile of suitcases blocks one of the escalators at Piccadilly Circus.
• With the aid of 3000 LED bulbs, the Waterloo & City line opens as a Winter Lights Shuttle Experience.
• Survey confirms #LOVETHETUBE year has had an insignificant effect on the passenger experience.
It must be tough working for the marketing department of a brand new housing development. You have to persuade would-be buyers that your stackyflats are somehow better than everyone else's stackyflats, and you generally do this by making your neighbourhood sound like the perfect place to live even if it's currently a massive building site. Coming up with positive phrases and upbeat slogans is all part of the job.
Sometimes the marketing department construct words so bland they could apply to anywhere. Sometimes they push the envelope with a series of questionably dubious exaggerations. But sometimes they throw all morals to the wind and downright lie, just to get your attention, and when the revolution comes these people should be first up against the wall.
In no sense is Canada Water "London's best kept secret". It's been on the tube map since 1999 so not only have millions of people heard of it, millions of people have been there. If you look on Google maps, there it is. It may be that the comprehensive redevelopment of the surrounding area is off the radar for most London residents but that doesn't make it a secret, indeed the planning process requires all this knowledge to be publically available.
What's more, Canada Water is not "hiding in plain sight". If you walk out of the tube station the lake is clearly visible. If you read the name emblazoned across the library it's plain that Canada Water is where you are. And whilst many of those who use Surrey Quays shopping centre may be oblivious to the fact it's about to be demolished, they can't have missed the apartment blocks newly rising across the car park.
Best kept secrets do not hide in plain sight, they have no physical manifestation hence their ability to remain hidden. What's more London's "best kept secret" must be one known only by a single person, potentially nobody at all, whereas this supposed secret is being promoted with a garish poster campaign. Best kept secrets hiding in plain sight are usually the preserve of the devious clickbait merchants at MyLondon, so don't be jumping on their perverted bandwagon.
It continues.
The 53 acre development site is almost entirely surrounded by roads and flats, not "nature and water". Arguably everywhere is surrounded by nature if you count worms and pigeons, and arguably everywhere is surrounded by water if you count Britain as an island, but in local terms this is a ridiculous claim.
As for "connected to everywhere in minutes", that's an even worse misrepresentation. It's meant to be cleverly vague suggesting quick changes to multiple destinations, but what they've actually written has over-reached itself. Admittedly any journey can be measured in minutes if you leave the stopwatch running long enough, indeed even Australia is "minutes away" if you let the total reach four figures, but lazy copywriting is no excuse for meaningless bolx.
It continues.
The UK's "most sustainable town centre" is not going to be a development site in Southwark. There's nothing sustainable about knocking down a shopping centre, a restaurant cluster and a printworks, let alone replacing them with umpteen concrete towers of supposed "net zero homes". An already-built town centre like Bath or Doncaster is going to be a lot more sustainable than Canada Water no matter how many green policies this construction company claims to follow.
What's galling is that the copywriters didn't need to exaggerate, it was a deliberate decision. They could just have called Canada Water "a sustainable town centre", or even "one of the UK's most sustainable town centres" but no, they went all out and claimed top spot for themselves because that's what greedy cheaters do. People who claim their projects are the ultimate without any evidence whatsoever should be up against the wall even before the revolution comes.
These are the upbeat words posted on hoardings outside the station, a echoingly empty landscape that still reeks of estuarine desolation. And yet the opening words are so bland they could apply to almost anywhere. Every newbuild is designed with purpose, every community is powered by people and all infrastructure is designed to empower else it wouldn't be built.
It's almost as if the marketing team looked at the challenge of making Barking Riverside sound attractive, realised they were on a losing wicket and plumped for something utterly generic. How they must have backslapped when they came up with the alliterative idea of "somewhere to be, become and belong", but you don't move out here to be among people, you move here to cut yourself off from the rest of London.
They're overexaggerating too. It's obviously not the case that "everyone lives with a deep sense of purpose, pride and possibility", no such utopia exists. "Overlooking the River Thames" is pushing it too because the river is entirely invisible unless you walk down a single footpath to the shore, or unless you've bought a hutch with a view on one of the upper floors. And as for "vibrant neighbourhood", sheesh, they go into even greater detail about that alongside.
Whatever Barking Riverside might be it is not "vibrant". It might be one day but for now it's just two disparate clumps of newbuilds on a desolate brownfield site close to lines of fizzing pylons. One end has a supermarket and a chemist, the other a coffee shop masquerading as a wildlife centre and a small Co-Op in a prefab. The promised art exhibitions, markets and live music aren't regular delights, they're occasional events co-ordinated by the developers to try to create the illusion of underlying culture.
There are many reasons for moving to Barking Riverside, most related to affordability and hardly any relating to delights on the doorstep, indeed even my Dad's Norfolk village has a livelier social life than this fledgling community. If you want evening entertainment you'll be catching the train somewhere else or making it yourselves. Don't be influenced by the "vibrant" guff these sloganeers are churning out, look around you at the sparse amenities of Barking Riverside and trust the evidence of your own eyes.
It must be tough working for the marketing department of a brand new housing development with hundreds of units to sell. But that's no excuse for writing stuff that isn't true... or worse, is deliberately trying not to be. These people can and should do better, their words don't need to be this awful.
And if the best your copywriting team can come up with is that a building site is "a place like no other", maybe now's the time to hand in your collective resignation because you're wasting everyone's time.
The A23 is the main road from London to Brighton. It starts at Lambeth North station and ends at Brighton Pier, making it much too long for a walk along the lot. So I've picked one short section of the A23 and walked the length of that, because how better to start the New Year than an end-to-end exploration of Purley Way?
A23: Purley Way(3 miles)
Purley Way is essentially the Croydon bypass, because even in 1925 the town knew it was wise to displace heavy streams of vehicles elsewhere. Initially it was part of the A22, the London to Eastbourne road, but in 1935 officials cut that back to Purley and renumbered everything to the north as the A23 instead. The bypass begins at Thornton Heath Pond, or at least the grim gyratory that erstwhile water feature has since become, then follows Thornton Road south past Croydon Cemetery. Only at the Lombard Roundabout does Purley Way eventually begin, and all I'll say up front is that at least by starting here and walking south the scenery eventually improves.
Whoever designed the Lombard Roundabout wasn't interested in pedestrians because none of its five arms has any crossing facilities, you just have to take a chance and nip across. I wish the residents in the newbuild flats alongside all the best. The road south was once Waddon Marsh Lane, a rural backwater passing fields and a monster gasworks, but with PurleyWayification came the inevitable arrival of industry and lacklustre housing. Those engineering hubs are long gone but have been replaced by sheds with more modern functions like cash and carries and builders merchants, because Purley Way attracts giant retail warehouses like a horse attracts flies. Matalan is the first of the big names to appear, and expect to tick off every other out-of-towner before we finish.
The road soon ascends a concrete flyover to leap over the tram lines, a former railway, with progress for pedestrians complicated by the arrival of Ampere Way. While negotiating the detour I spotted a service door into the void beneath the flyover had been left unlocked and open, but decided against ducking inside because mild urbex is my limit. Rising close by are the two giant chimneys that IKEA kept (and emblazoned with blue and yellow hoops) when replacing Croydon "B" Power Station with a household megastore in 1992. Throw in a line of pylons and you can see why the local access roads have been named after pioneers of electrical physics.
That intervention complete we plunge back into the dreary warehousiness of the Beddington hinterland. Someone thought that if they called this bit the Purley Way Retail Park and that bit the Purley Way Centre we might discern a difference, but it still all just looks like a swarm of drive-to businesses. Park here for sofas, beds and carpets, park the other side for sportswear, self-storage and Sainsbury's, then get back in your car and join the queues waiting to turn out onto the main road. Again the pedestrian feels like an afterthought, left to cross a never-ending sequence of access roads at their own risk. For those who like to know which bus route we're following it's the 289, end-to-end, which quite frankly would be a much safer way to experience Purley Way than walking it.
Ahead is what used to be the village of Waddon with its watercress beds and manor house, but Purley Way now ploughs through the footprint of the latter and the River Wandle passed beneath us in an unseen pipe back by Currys. The Hare and Hounds pub is one of the oldest buildings left but can't originally have been that custard colour. Many of the residential streets which bear off this section of the A23 have had gates added to allow emergency access only, else they'd be far too tempting to percolate down. It's nice to be reminded that Purley Way isn't all sheds, some of it actually gets lived on, but Metroland elegance this ain't.
The traffic lights before Waddon station are watched over by the smiling face of Gavin Palmer, a businessman urging the local electorate to vote for 'Mr Cure' as the first Mayor of Croydon. Given he came 8th out of 8th in the election, which was held eight months ago, you'd think he might have taken down his billboard misfire by now. This junction is apparently called Fourways, despite one of its arms only leading to a Poundland. Beyond the railway the houses stop and we're back into shedland, most notably Morrisons, and then comes the more widely known Fiveways where many a Croydon driver has spent many hours of their life. From orchards to purgatory is a journey of only a few decades.
Here's where the 21st century kicks in with a brief burst of leisure centre, sponsored academy and newbuild flats. It's therefore quite remarkable to find an 18th century throwback on the other side of the road, a Grade II listed barn with a steeply pitched roof which now looks 100% out of place. It used to be part of Coldharbour Farm, perhaps even replaced its tithe barn, and is now kept alive by an evangelical church. Other nearby buildings of note include the Oriental gate leading to Wing Yip cash and carry, a convenience store called Kevin News and the Spitfire Business Park. Because here comes the famous bit.
Croydon Airport opened to passengers in 1920 and was already the base for Imperial Airways when the arrival of Purley Way helped kickstart further development. Here were built the world's first air traffic control tower, the world's first purpose-designed airport terminal and the world's first airport hotel; today all global staples but unheard of a century ago. Through the 1930s high society knew Purley Way well, but WW2 and the development of Heathrow sparked a rapid decline and Croydon's last flight flew in 1959. The visitor centre still opens monthly - just look for the de Havilland Heron proudly displayed out front - but alas this Sunday's limited run of tickets has already sold out.
A few last megasheds mark the end of Purley Way's commercial focus. Some form the Colonnades Leisure Park, should your idea of leisure be a gym and a Nando's, while the largest still drawing the crowds is an enormous Costco. But then, after a final pile of discarded tyres and the Battle of BritainRAF Memorial, the car parks fade out and grass finally takes over. One patch of concrete apron survives amid the downland if you look carefully enough, but mostly all you'll see is the occasional dogwalker from the Roundshaw estate. Meanwhile the non-airport side of the road has instead been covered by a heck of a lot of playing fields, and suddenly Purley Way has become a rather pleasant place to be.
The road climbs gently to pass between two school playing fields at the top of the rise. And beyond the summit it feels much more like Surrey, which of course this used to be, as Purley Way descends to a close past homes an estate agent could sell in a trice. Officially the road name changes before the final parade of shops, a Mock Tudor beauty where residents of Purley come to buy fireplaces, pizza and steak. But the practical end is at the maelstrom of Purley Cross where the A22 branches off and the Croydon bypass ends. It's also midway along the A2022, if you remember, which feels an appropriate place to terminate my 2023 New Year journeys.
Only one London postcode area reaches the heady heights of 23 (because N tops out at N22). Come with me to Forest HillSE23.
23 things to see in SE23
1) The Horniman Museum
Easily the most interesting thing in SE23 is the amazing Horniman Museum, a repository of the unusual since 1901. It's extended somewhat over the years but the heart of the collection is still animal remains and ethnography, each of which fill a barrelled hall (since augmented by cabinetfuls of wind instruments and a basement aquarium). If you've not been for a while I can reassure you that the giant tusked creature still has pride of place but the classic 'Please do not touch the walrus' sign has been replaced by the weedier message 'Thank you for not touching the walrus or sitting on the iceberg'. The Horniman won the Museum Of The Year award last year for its ability to appeal above and beyond, particularly to young families, indeed it sometimes feels more like SE23's public crèche. Yesterday the buggy park at the foot of the stairs was fifty strong, the halls were full of excitable children who hadn't yet gone back to nursery and a substantial line of parents were queueing for tickets to the Mr Benn exhibition. I hid from the noise in the Music gallery, ironically.
2) Horniman Gardens
There's almost as much to see outside the museum as within. The gardens extend over a fair chunk of hillside and include a bandstand, a mini zoo, a paid-entry Butterfly House, a conservatory, a sundial trail, a nature trail, a sunken garden, a medicinal garden, a cafe and a terrace where the Sunday food market pitches up. Just don't get locked in after the museum closes.
3) The view from Horniman Gardens
The view is good too because this is Forest Hill, a lofty hump, which means from here you can see all the way across Southwark towards central London. The Horniman and its environs really do have it all. I should really stop here because nowhere else in the SE23 postcode comes close to this level of recreational interest, but numerical determinism means I still need to include 20 more sights to reach the necessary total.
4) The Capitol
Forest Hill's Art Deco cinema has suffered the same fate as many a heritage jewel and become a Wetherspoons. That's good because it's been preserved and you can look inside, but bad because The Capitol is one of nine pubs Wetherspoons have just put on the market because they'd like to be rid of it. A sale might not happen, indeed they also tried unsuccessfully in 2016, but if you fancy a bottle of Becks for 99p then this year's January Sale might be SE23's last chance.
5) Ferfect Fried Chicken
You can't call yourself Perfect Fried Chicken and not expect to be sued, as this takeaway on London Road discovered to its cost, so they changed their first letter to create something totally meaningless and have carried on trading as FFC ever since.
6) Forest Hill Pools
It's been possible to go swimming in Forest Hill since Victorian times, with the exception of 2006-2012 when the old pool was closed and ultimately replaced by something splashier. Locals reacted with horror at plans to demolish the original building so it was reimagined as the entrance to the carbunclier addition behind.
7) Forest Hill Library
This is a lovely building, a turn-of-the-century Carnegie Library in classical Arts and Crafts style with banded terracotta frontage and a Grade II listing. Lewisham council chose to hive it off in 2016 to save cash so it's now run as a community model library, but it is the only community model library in the UK to open seven days a week because that's how good a community SE23 is.
8) Taymount Grange
If you like Art Deco–style mansion blocks you'll appreciate Taymount Grange, a streamlined pile of 60+ apartments deemed cutting edge in 1937. Just be aware it's at the top of a hill on an estate that's ultimately a cul-de-sac, and its properties are a lot more expensive than when young Michael Gambon moved here early in the 1960s, so all you can really do is admire it and retreat.
9) The Oak of Honor
Legend has it that on May Day 1602 Queen Elizabeth I picnicked beneath an oak tree on a SE23 hilltop with a local lord. That tree became known as the Oak of Honor, after which the suburb of Honor Oak was duly named. The oak on the hilltop today alas isn't the original, it's a replacement planted in 1905.
10) One Tree Hill
The hill topped with the Oak of Honor might originally have had only one tree but these days it has many more up various flanks, which has somewhat limited the view from the summit. It's still a very good view, especially in winter, but it has changed a lot since Southwark council last redrew the image on the information board with the Gherkin standing almost alone. From the station side it's about 100 steps to the top and invariably worth the effort.
11) Honor Oak Park
The road up to the station is the kind of street Time Out would once have devoted a page to, offering organic brunch spots and designer boutiques, even a splash of sourdough. It also has a lowly drycleaners and a Sainsbury's, plus rather more empty units than it used to, but still hits above its weight.
12) Babur
The first thing you notice about this restaurant is the tiger on the roof staring out towards Brockley Rise. The second thing is the word Michelin on a bright red background, and although it's not a star it's just two rosettes that's still pretty good for a suburban curryhouse. Expect contemporary dining even though the place opened in 1985, and be warned that the venison hunter curry is Roaring Hot.
13) Garthorne Road Nature Reserve
This long tract of ash and sycamore beside the railway has a welcoming brightly-painted entrance and an official council information board. But the gate's locked with a very chunky chain unless the Friends are holding an Open Day, which obviously they're not on a January weekday, so don't make a special effort to come.
14) Walter De La Mare's house
The poet Walter De La Mare (1873-1956) spent most of his life in southeast London - initially Charlton, later Anerley and Beckenham, and from the age of four Forest Hill. His childhood home at 61 Bovill Road isn't distinguished with a plaque, but does stand out because the entire ground floor is screened by an untamed hedge filling most of the front garden.
15) Perry Vale
Perry Vale (not to be confused with Perivale) is a minor neighbourhood lodged between Forest Hill and Bell Green. I hadn't been before and was hoping to discover more than a church and a brief parade of shops, although I did find an 01 phone number painted (painted!) above a driveway leading to a secluded recording studio so that's my top tourist tip.
16) Honor Oak Park station
SE23 has two Overground stations, and this one's no great shakes but Forest Hill is architecturally bereft so Honor Oak Park wins by default.
17) The Chandos
This pub on Brockley Rise has a historic interior of some regional importance, so I'm told, and they specialise in craft beer and pizza, so it says, and quiz night is Sunday.
18) Blythe Hill Fields
This open summit on the way to Ladywell has much better panoramic views than One Tree Hill but is much less well known. On a good day you can see Kent and Surrey, but you don't get many good days in early January.
19) South Circular Road
The South Circular is a gentler beast than its northern counterpart, often just a minor road reappropriated as an orbital, and slices through SE23 on its way from Dulwich to Catford bringing idling exhausts to many a Victorian terrace.
20) Sylvan Post
Imagine a pub in a former postwar post office. If it looks that unappealing from outside I can only assume it's not that bad inside otherwise it'd have folded by now.
21) Spike Milligan's house
Spike grew up in India but first lodged at 22 Gabriel Street, one road back from Honor Oak Park, when he moved to the UK. It's just a house, nothing genuinely worthy of a visit, but I'm scraping the barrel now I've reached the 20s.
22) WH Smith
The newsagent by Forest Hill station has an unbeatable selection of magazines across several shelves.
23) erm
I might need a genuine local resident to help me finish this off.
The 23 is a Frankenstein of a bus route, comprising two halves of two routes bolted together after their Oxford Street ends had been amputated. It now operates between Westbourne Park and Hammersmith via a ridiculous S-shape route that grazes Mayfair, whereas any end-to-end traveller would find it far quicker to walk. Later this year TfL intend to kill off the stupid Hammersmith end and send the 23 back to Aldwych. But to kick off 2023 I thought I'd journey along the existing route stopping at every alternate stop, because by a fabulous coincidence that's precisely 23 stops in total. Think of this as an odyssey where half the interesting stuff is missing.
23 bus stops on route 23
Great Western Road
The 23 will be visiting the heights of luxury later in its travels, but not here at its first stop beneath a spike-topped wall outside a heavily graffitied health centre. An 0181 telephone number is displayed beneath the name of the surgery as if to emphasise how underfunded the NHS remains. I had to wait for 15 minutes to get this photo, during which time the day's rain finally kicked in, so I hope you appreciate the result.
Golborne Road
My second stop, and the 23's third, is at the foot of Goldfinger's iconic Trellick Tower. You don't get the best view from side-on but it's still pretty inspirational. The shopping parade here is mostly downbeat - a greasy spoon, a Costcutter, a library - but the vintage clothing and leather accessories at Vestige hint at more-than-creeping gentrification.
West Row
This is the side of Kensington most don't see, a hinterland of lowly Victoriana and council flats squashed up against the Grand Union Canal. But it's increasingly being infilled by blocky vernacular, or revitalised as 'contemporary workspace' like The Gramophone Works, and I reckon the Kensal Evangelical Church could make an absolute fortune if they sacrificed their shed of worship to the developers.
Kensal House
The House in question is a low curving modernist block built in 1937 for occupation by the working class, which was pretty radical back then. I wondered if the hoardings out front meant it was for the chop but given it's listed and RIBA-medalled I guess not. The French choux patisserie beside the bus stop is closed for Christmas and reopens on January 6th but is taking pre-orders for galettes des rois.
St Charles Square
A miraculous social transformation occurs on crossing the railway with the sudden appearance of fine three-storey terraced villas. I'm always suspicious of hanging baskets flourishing in midwinter. On this side of the road is North Kensington Fire Station and across the street a blue plaque for the delightfully named Hablot Knight Browne, aka 'Phiz', the illustrator of many a Charles Dickens novel.
Ladbroke Grove Station
We're now 11 stops in and we've only gone one stop on the tube. The 23 drops off outside the post office and, less obviously, a pharmacy with its own Instagram account. In a sign of the times the Grove Fish Bar (established 1963) has given up and boarded its windows while the Over Under brunch bar nextdoor looks in rude health. The Grenfell mosaics by the railway bridge help to keep local aspirations grounded.
Portobello Road
Bingo, the 23 lands in prime Richard Curtis country, somehow routed to squeeze through the world famous street market in one of its less antique-y sections. It stops in a sidestreet where locals do their real shopping, outside a newsagent's window full of architecture magazines and Harry Styles front covers, and opposite a wine merchants called Jereboams and a properly flourishing florist. The Big Issue seller looks up hopefully.
Chepstow Road/Westbourne Grove
That was the longest two-stop jump along the route and has delivered us to the less designery end of Westbourne Grove. hence there's a Co-Op as well as a Little Dobbies houseplant shop and a builders merchant as well as a framed print gallery. A 'vegetarian friendly restaurant' is coming soon, although I'm not sure that's as amazing a slogan as they hoped it was.
Porchester Terrace North
On one side are elegant Bayswater mansions, on the other side the Hallfield Estate, its fifteen stark blocks designed by Russian-born architect Berthold Lubetkin shortly after the Second World War. The River Westbourne once flowed this way, now buried in all but name. The Porchester is your last chance for a chic rustic pint before we hit Paddington.
Paddington Station/Eastbourne Terrace
Kerching, we've pulled up alongside the new Crossrail entrance at Paddington, not far from the lifts. This used to be where taxis dropped off and is now where Ubers unload and shoot off before any traffic wardens notice. The cloudscape imprinted on the 120m roof canopy was supposed to be an artistic wonder but still looks like a flock of pigeons landed and nobody's cleaned the glass since.
St Mary's Hospital
This stop's a ridiculously short distance after the last, which could also have been called St Mary's Hospital because the building's that long. A blue plaque on the corner invites you to look up to see the window of the second floor room where Alexander Fleming discovered penicillin. The local shops are little units for tweaking your phone, fixing your hair or pawning your valuables.
George Street
Welcome to Edgware Road, the arrow-straight Roman thoroughfare that's since become a Middle Eastern quarter with almost as much Arabic on the shop signs as English. Only one bloke was so desperate for a smoke that he'd taken a damp seat on the green chairs outside the shisha lounge for a hookah puff. The local primary school is on such a tight site that its playground is stacked across six floors.
Marble Arch Station/Park Lane
We've finally reached the heart of the West End, but rather than heading usefully down Oxford Street the 23 diverts off down Park Lane and prepares to deflect away. Eleven different routes stop here and the provision of shelter is entirely inadequate on a rainy day. Watch the taxis pour by, watch the tourists floundering across the multi-lane carriageway to reach Hyde Park, and watch your valuables.
London Hilton Hotel
Only those with bottomless pockets stay here, hence the prestige jewellers in the lobby and 'the world's first corporate aviation showroom' nextdoor. BMWs and sporty Minis can be purchased nearby, and blimey route 23 really does span the financial spectrum. Across Park Lane the rides of Winter Wonderland are in full twirl, but you have to pity those who pre-booked their visit during this downpour.
Knightsbridge Station/Harrods
After 20 stops heading east we're now heading west for 18. We're also in peak rich tourist territory, not quite down the right street to be able to enjoy looking at Harrods' window displays but close enough to be mixing with families dressed top-to-toe in branded fashion. The glass monstrosity opposite is One Hyde Park, the Candys' luxury apartment complex, whose tenants might be looking down on you if only they were in.
Prince of Wales Gate
We're still rounding Hyde Park, the gate in question being a minor exit from South Carriage Drive with a 2.4m width restriction. Alight here for the Great Exhibition, although you may be a bit late for that. I'd love to tell you about the embassies up Princes Gate but technically they're served by the next stop, Exhibition Road, and that's the problem with only being able to write about alternate stops...
Royal Albert Hall
...whereas this is a bullseye, the stop outside the world famous concert rotunda. I'm surprised they've only rolled up their purple Platinum Jubilee banners, not taken then down. The hard-to-love concrete building alongside is the Royal College of Art, and has been since 1963, while the golden spike across the road is of course the Albert Memorial. Services to Bracknell depart from the adjacent coach stop.
Kensington Palace
Not that the Royal Family ever need to catch a bus, nor any of the billionaires that inhabit Kensington Palace Gardens, but their staff sometimes do. This is the eleventh stop adjacent to Hyde Park, or more correctly here Kensington Gardens, as the folly of route 23 becomes increasingly apparent. Sorry, it's hard to see much out of a bus's window on a wet day when they're fully steamed up.
Phillimore Gardens
In a coincidental quirk I blogged about Phillimore Gardens just before Christmas. It's supposedly the most expensive street in the UK, and here we are pausing at the bus stop named after it. This micro-stretch of Kensington High Street has a remarkable number of stores selling rugged outerwear or international travel. But it also has a Wilko and an Oxfam so we are gently nudging back into less well-off territory.
Warwick Gardens
The shop adjacent to this bus stop, as you'll see from its red neon sign, specialises in Iranian Caviar. Hundreds of blue tins are stacked in the window, and also out front on some astroturf watched over by the shopkeeper and a small fibreglass shark. A blue plaque nextdoor claims this was the home of Jack The Ripper, but given Dr S.S.A. Hasbro (surgeon and restauranteur) never existed it can only be a shameless fake.
North End Road
This is the bus stop for the Olympia exhibition centre, whose southern flank is currently a mix of hoardings and girdered voids while the interior gets a longterm makeover. In the Tesco Express opposite the shelves facing the street are packed with dozens and dozens of Cadbury Easter eggs, with Dairy Milk at one end and Twirl at the other, and the only reason I can think of for stocking up now is that the price might have risen by April.
Latymer Court
Latymer Court is a behemoth of a mansion block, indeed when it opened in 1934 it was the largest single luxury block of flats in Europe. Sprawled across almost four acres, it hopefully looks more appealing within than it does out front. Facing it is Nazareth House, a Catholic care home runs by nuns with a history on this site dating back to 1857. We're nearly there now.
Hammersmith Bus Station
And finally, after a sinuous wiggle lasting well over an hour, here we are less than three miles from where we started. The 23 turfs out into the claustrophobic confines of the upper bus station, and will continue to do so until TfL finally send it back to Aldwych. That day can't come too soon, but I could never have written about 23 alternate stops in 2023 if they'd rationalised it earlier.
Let's walk the road of the year, which is of course the A2023.
It's two miles long, it's mostly residential and it runs from the sea to the hills.
And it's not in London, even though the A2022 was, it's in Hove.
In a magnificent piece of pre-planning I walked the A2023 when I was down in Brighton on August Bank Holiday Monday, so here come some sunny summery photos of a road I hope I haven't forgotten entirely over the last five months.
I confess I didn't walk all the way to the top end. I got as far as Old Shoreham Road and thought "that park looks more interesting, I'll walk up that to the miniature railway and then I'll hike up Three Cornered Copse towards Patcham Mill and strike out into the South Downs". On the day this was absolutely the right move but today it leaves me with a damp squib of an ending, plus I missed a few genuinely interesting buildings, something the rest of the road generally lacks. I hope I'm not underselling this.
Also, alas, at no point along the A2023 is there a sign saying A2023. The road feeds up from the seafront towards the A23 and A27 on the outskirts of town so they get pride of place (in brackets) and the poor old A2023 presses on invisibly. So here's a made-up sign they could have used instead, except it's in the wrong typeface and it wouldn't point towards Hove because it's in Hove anyway.
Hove A2023 →
Before diving in I should tell you a little of the history of the A2023. It used to be the B2124 but was renumbered A2023 in the 1960s when the A2038 Brighton bypass was built because the original A2023 wasn't suitable for northward extension so that became the B2185 and the A2023 effectively jumped a few blocks to the west and the original B2124 designation was then reused near Lewes. I hope that's clear.
It'd be nice if the A2023 started on the seafront because then I could show you a photo of Hove's fabulous beach huts, but it doesn't quite, it starts one street back on the A259. Back in the summer there was a circus pitched here on Hove Lawns but that's undoubtedly moved on. The road ahead is called Hove Street and on the corner is Viceroy Lodge, one of those big blocks of seaside flats where every resident has a balcony with a Channel view and day-round sunshine. Across the road is the Ginger Pig, a smart gabled gastropub/brasserie with 11 en-suite rooms because Hove is no longer a guest house/B&B kind of city. I bet Zoe Ball's been in.
A few mansion blocks follow, one of glorious 1897 vintage and another of less alluring postwar stack. This is the end of the road where you can browse for antiques, sip frothy coffee at a pavement table, drop in on a seamstress or take your pooch to a grooming spa - it gets a bit less 'Sunday supplement' the further up we go. The true heart of Hove is just off to the right down Church Street - a parish church, a town hall and hundreds of shops and restaurants for when you don't want to schlep into Brighton - but you see none of that from the A2023. I love the old sign in the wall here pointing towards 'Museum & Art Gallery 200 yards', although that's since been named the Hove Museum of Creativity and the rebrand team didn't quite get this far.
The A2023 now becomes Sackville Road and ploughs on across a dense grid of desirable late Victorian townhouses, much to the delight of local estate agents. The odd pizza delivery joint now starts to intrude, and eventually minor convenience stores and bog standard hair salons. For those who like to know which bus routes we're following it's the 2, 2B, 5, 5A, 5B, 25, 46, 49, 71A, 93, 95, 95A and 96A, because Brighton & Hove's network is nothing if not complex and thorough. The last building before the railway bridge is a Salvation Army Citadel, which sounds much grander than it is, and then the tracks of the Coastway service shuttle across the road. Hove station is barely quarter of a mile to your right and Aldrington station is less than quarter of a mile to your left, so take your pick.
Abruptly the townscape changes to an eruption of generic vernacular flats. A housing developer has swept away Sackville Road Trading Estate and is replacing it with 820 serviced apartments, a mere 10% of them 'affordable', to create a Station Quarter focusing on wellness, uptickable amenities and other cosy fripperies. Residents will be able to enjoy panoramic views from the communal sky lounge, and everyone else in Hove will see bricky cuboids on the skyline because nothing else hereabouts is this tall. A sign of how the economy's changed over the last 25 years is that when Brighton's neighbouring Goldstone Ground was redeveloped in 1997 it became a six-shed retail park.
And then comes Old Shoreham Road, which was formerly the A27 until a stonking great bypass was carved round the edge of the Downs in the 1990s. The A2023 continues uphill, now named Nevill Road, but this you'll remember is where I gave up and turned off. In doing so I missed Brighton's greyhound track, a premier venue since 1928. I missed a big Waitrose, because of course Hove has one of those. And I narrowly missed the amazing Goldstone Pumping Station which in 1976 became a repository of steam engines and oily things known as the BrightonEngineerium. It looks right up your street, indeed I bet several of you went, but sadly it's been closed since 2005 and the very latest plan is to transform it into a "cutting-edge centre designed to promote health, happiness and wellbeing in the community". Never let a pier owner buy a museum complex.
The A2023 climbs on to a muted finish in West Blatchington, a windmilled suburb, where it joins the A2038 King George VI Avenue. So there's every chance I'll come back and walk that in 15 years time, maybe even all the way to the end. Patience. And Happy New Year.
