Thanks for voting in my readership survey. Now I know a lot more about you all, collectively at least. According to my survey results, the typical diamond geezer reader is a straight-but-coupled 20-something male blogger from the London area. If anyone out there reckons they could be Mr Average, please stake your claim in the comments box. And here are those results in a little more detail.
Male or female?
male (65)
76%
female (20)
24%
Hmmm, that's three male readers to every female. Could it be that the internet is full of blokes, or is it just that women have better things to do with their lives than clicking their way around cyberworld? I have a horrible feeling it's both of those.
Age
<20 (5)
6%
20s (30)
35%
30s (29)
34%
40s (13)
15%
50s (5)
6%
60+ (3)
4%
Two thirds of my readers are aged between 20 and 40, with pretty much an even split between the two decades. Again maybe that's the nature of the internet, or maybe it's just that bloggers tend to attract a readership of roughly their own age (ahem, 20-something? who am I kidding?). Special greetings to my three silver surfers, and to the five of you who should be safely tucked away in a supervised chatroom somewhere else instead.
Where do you live? (pick one)
London (31)
36%
England (30)
35%
UK (10)
12%
Europe (6)
7%
World (8)
9%
OK, I know I write about London a lot, but I was surprised to find that my readers are more likely to live in London (population 7 million) than anywhere else (population 6 billion). Well over three quarters of you are from the UK, with I suspect a strong-ish Scottish contingent. But I'm not attracting a lot of overseas readers am I? Maybe that means it's safe to carry on writing about local stuff, tea and nostalgic 80s TV programmes.
A bit more about you
straight, single (26)
31%
straight, coupled (41)
48%
gay, single (13)
15%
gay, coupled (6)
7%
Ah, a fascinating chunk of social insight. Three quarters of you are straight (I suspect that's below the global average), roughly half of you are single (I suspect that's above the global average), and straight readers are twice as likely to be in a relationship as gay readers (I suspect that's deeply meaningful and many of you could blog about the subject at great length).
Do you have your own blog?
yes (45)
53%
no (40)
47%
Roughly half of you are bloggers yourselves - I wonder if I've caught up with all your pages yet. But there are also plenty of people out there who only read, not write. Which is great, because blogs need readers, but have you ever thought about changing categories? Mike has, thankfully, And Douglas, you could, couldn't you? (breaking news: blimey, you have...!)
How often do you read diamond geezer?
daily (44)
52%
often (25)
29%
occasionally (12)
14%
first visit (4)
5%
Half of you come back every day, eh? That's comforting, because I do try very hard to post something every day for you to read. But, as NiC points out, a lot of you so-called daily readers probably read from work and have the weekends off - my visitor stats would support that. A special hello to those of you making your first visit (or, if you're back again to read these results, your second).
When was your first visit to diamond geezer?
2002 (14)
16%
early 2003 (30)
35%
late 2003 (24)
28%
2004 (17)
20%
And finally, a tribute to the longevity of blog readers. I started diamond geezer 18 months ago (almost exactly), and 14 of you claim to be part of my first tiny readership trickle. Thanks for your persisitence. And to the 2003 and 2004 contingent, stay tuned, because one day you'll be classified as founder readers too...
Thanks for voting. You're wrong of course, but it was very close.
Cakes are great, but pies are just so much more versatile. As Maddie pointed out in the comments, you can start a meal with pie and finish it with pie, but cakes are one-course-only. Pies beat cake, oh yes. And, if anyone wants to argue, I'll meet you down at Goddards pie shop in Greenwich for a steak and kidney followed by an apple and custard. Mmmm, pie.
The Big Decision (4): Cake or pie? After yesterday, time to return to a more mundane, but equally important issue.
Which do you prefer? Check out the arguments below, add some more in the comments box, then vote here.
Cake (pro) Chocolate cake, cheesecake, fruit cake, Victoria sponge, cupcakes, icing, birthday cake, gateaux, cream cakes, Christmas cake, wedding cake, Dundee cake, Jaffa cake, Madeira cake, Eccles cake, welshcake, Mr Kipling, rock cake, fairy cake, Battenburg cake, carrot cake, SpongeBob.
(con) marzipan, King Alfred
(pro)MarieAntoinette
Pie (pro) apple pie, steak and kidney pie, fruit pie, steak and ale pie, lemon meringue pie, pastry, mince pie, meat pie, banoffee pie, shepherd's pie, pie and custard, custard pie, pie and mash, chicken and mushroom pie, tarts, pork pie, pecan pie, pumpkin pie, Pukka pies, damn fine cherry pie, bye bye Miss American Pie, who ate all the pies?
(con) humble pie, cow pie
(pro)weebl and bob
Everybody else - I'm delighted by your overwhelming decision. I hope I'll be as delighted by the real decision. Was due yesterday, now postponed until next week. Nuff said.
The Big Decision (3): London or Slough? This is the most important decision being made in my life at the moment. Nuff said.
Which would you prefer? Check out the arguments below, add some more in the comments box, then vote here.
London (pro) "London is one of the world's most popular and historic cities with a varied and exciting cosmopolitan culture, making it the ideal place to live and visit." (con) "London, that great cesspool into which all the loungers and idlers of the Empire are irresistably drained." (pro) Less of a city, more of a nation - from Roman beginnings to potential Olympic future.
(con) Less of a home, more of a prison - nobody talks, nobody stops, nobody cares.
(pro) Created here: fashion, culture, news, money, decisions, history.
(con) Created here: crime, pollution, gridlock, overcrowding, poverty.
(pro) There's always another sight to see, place to visit, attraction to view, secret to uncover.
(con) When you've lived in London, somehow being expected to live anywhere else seems pointless.
(pro)Dr Johnson.
Slough (pro) "Slough is a town close to West London. It's (sic) location and access to fast communication links are a key factor in the town's commercial success." (con) "Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough! It isn't fit for humans now, There isn't grass to graze a cow. Swarm over, Death!." (pro) The town grew up along the Great Western Railway - now very convenient for the M4 and Heathrow Airport...
(con) ... but nearly two hours away from my house by rail, assuming the trains are running.
(pro) Created here: Mars bars, Thunderbirds, Britain's first trading estate, CecilAldin.
(con) Shifted here:Jag's company have just relocated him in beautiful Slough.
(pro) You can see Windsor Castle from Slough.
(con) You can see Slough from Windsor Castle.
(pro)DavidBrent.
Thanks for voting. You're correct, but blimey that was close.
I never could see the attraction of coffee (apart from the smell). I don't need to spend a fortune being kickstarted by tooth-staining addictive beans every couple of hours. Give me a nice relaxing mug of dried leavesboiled in water any day. I suspect I'm beverage-passive rather than beverage-active. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's 7am and I'm just off to down my first of the day.
Which do you prefer? Check out the arguments below, add some more in the comments box, then vote here.
Coffee (pro) No need to sleep, just perk yourself up with a regular caffeine hit every couple of hours.
(con) Need a coffee. Need another coffee. Need yet another coffee. Must have more coffee.
(pro) There are so many different types of coffee these days - mocha, latté, espresso, cappucino...
(con) ... all much smaller and three times the price of what used to pass for 'ordinary' coffee.
(pro) Instant coffee really is instant - just pour on boiling water and drink...
(con) ... whereas proper filter coffee isn't instant at all - even brewing a pot of tea is faster.
(pro) The ultimate lifestyle beverage since the 17th century, and still very zeitgeist.
(con) Starbucks own half the retail space in the world, selling brown liquid to brainwashed addicts.
(pro) Freshly ground coffee smells fantastic.
Tea (pro) Nothing represents traditional Britain better than a nice cup of tea...
(con) ... empire-building, enforced slavery and subjugated foreigners working in abject poverty.
(pro) There are all sorts of posh blends of tea with exotic oriental names, lightly scented and refreshing.
(con) There are all sorts of poncy blends of tea made from smelly herbs that taste like green water.
(pro) Teabags are just so convenient - a million grandmothers can't be wrong.
(con) If you drink proper loose tea, you get countless black leaves gumming up your sink/bin/teeth.
(pro) Mid-afternoon, a pot of tea, scones and jam - you can't beat it.
(con) Cafés/restaurants seem to think tea is an overpriced bag dumped beside a tiny pot of tepid water.
(pro) Rich tea biscuits, dunked.
I'm biased. I've not lived in a house with a shower for the last five years, so I really don't have a choice. It would be nice to have a choice, because there are hot sweaty days in summer when it would be good not to be hot and sweaty at the flick of a switch. But, litre for litre, give me a long relaxing soak in the tub any day. If you'll excuse me, it's 7am and I'm just off to slip into another one.
Which do you prefer? Check out the arguments below, add some more in the comments box, then vote.
Bath (pro) Lie back, surround yourself with little tea lights from IKEA, and relax...
(con) ... as long as you're under five foot six, otherwise your toes jam in the taps.
(pro) They're great for making you drowsy just before you go to bed...
(con) ... but don't fall asleep because you can drown in three inches of water.
(pro) Watch the ad breaks during Countdown and you'll be able to bathe even when you're old.
(con) If you're female, people think basketfuls of smelly bath stuff make really original presents.
(pro) There isn't a glorious Roman spa town near Bristol called Shower.
(con) Baths take forever to run, which is why I get up 10 minutes too early every morning.
(pro) Rubber ducks.
Shower (pro) They're great for waking you up in the morning - a short sharp shock to the system...
(con) ...but you're usually too tired in the morning to operate the controls accurately.
(pro) They're instant, they're quick, and they're hygienic - easy to wash all your bits...
(con) ... but it's really hard to clean your feet without falling over and cracking your head open.
(pro) They don't take up much space, and hardly use any water - good for the planet.
(con) They run too hot, then they run too cold, then they scald you, all in thirty seconds.
(pro) Hitchcock's Psycho really wouldn't have worked in a bath.
(con) The previous occupant of your home probably tried to install the shower themselves.
(pro) You can fit two people in a shower.
3 great links(via In4mador) • Biddycam: "Watches a couple of bungalows somewhere in the UK, occupied by old people. It updates every 30 seconds."
• Crimson Room: Can you work out how to escape? Do look under the pillow, and don't forget to jiggle the curtains...
• Bloody Pingu: Remember the penguin-thwacking game? This version's rather sicker. Can anyone beat 901.5?
1) Today is the first leap day of the 21st century. 2) There are only 24 leap years this century because 2100 won't be a leap year. 3) Leap year babies celebrate their birthday only once every 1461 days. Raenell is quite passionate about it. Great site. 4) You have a 1 in 1461 chance of being born on February 29th. The odds are a lot higher if your parents have sex on May 29th the previous year. 5) Over a 400 year period, the odds of being born on February 29th lengthen to 1 in 1506. 6) About 40000 people in the UK are leap day babies. Meet some of them here. 7) About 200000 people in the USA and 4 million people worldwide are leap day babies. Meet some of them here. 8) The Queen sent no centenarian birthday telegrams on February 29th 2000, because there was no February 29th 1900. 9) The Queen will be sending a birthday card to her cousin's son James Oglivy who turns 40 today, on his 10th birthday. 10) The composer Rossini was born on February 29th 1792, Pope Paul III on February 29th 1468, and actor Joss Ackland on February 29th 1928. More leap day birthdays here. 11) In a leap year you probably get paid the same for doing one day's extra work. Schoolchildren, on the other hand, get one day's extra holiday. 12) The Gilbert & Sullivan operetta The Pirates of Penzance revolves around a February 29th birthday. Frederic is a pirate's apprentice, free to return to respectable society on his 21st birthday, except that at the age of 21 he realises he still has 63 years to go. A leap child's lot is not a happy one. 13) Today is the last leap day to fall at the weekend until 2020. 14) If you have a leap year birthday, like one of my work colleagues, you have to decide when to celebrate it in non-leap years - February 28th or March 1st. Or both. 15) Ladies, today's the day to propose marriage to your man. Hurry up, if you wait another 4 years just think how old he'll be. Why not send a postcard? 16) Exactly 500 years ago today, Christopher Columbus pulled off his great eclipse trick. A leaky ship forced him to beach on Jamaica, and he and his crew rapidly ran out of supplies. Fortunately Columbus knew his astronomy and realised that a total lunar eclipse was due on February 29th 1504. He gathered the local natives together at sunset and told them God was displeased and would eat up the Moon. The eclipse started, the natives were sore afraid, and Columbus eventually agreed to 'return the Moon' in return for food. Genius. 17) Is your watch showing the wrong date today? It is, isn't it? 18) Living through a leap day means one day longer to wait for your birthday and one day longer to wait for Christmas. 19) Leap years are quadrennial, like the Olympics or the World Cup. 20) Leap Day number 1s of the past 40 years would make an fascinating compilation CD: Cilla Black (Anyone Who Had A Heart, 1964), Esther & Abi Ofarim (Cinderella Rockefella, 1968), Chicory Tip (Son Of My Father, 1972), Four Seasons (December '63 (Oh What A Night), 1976), Blondie (Atomic, 1980), Nena (99 Red Balloons, 1984), Kylie Minogue (I Should Be So Lucky, 1988), Shakespear's Sister (Stay, 1992), Oasis (Don't Look Back In Anger, 1996), All Saints (Pure Shores, 2000) and Peter Andre (Mysterious Girl, 2004). 21) Today's only the tenth February 29th I've ever experienced. And, all things being average, I have less than ten more to go. 22) Bloggers - take a look at the a day in the life project, or click back there tomorrow to view the photographic results. 23) Webpages about the date February 29th here, here and here. 24) IT-type people feared computers might go wrong on Leap Day 2000, misinterpreting the date as February 29th 1900, a date which didn't exist. They were wrong. 25) Leap year babies endured seven consecutive years with no birthdays from 1897 to 1903, and will again from 2097 to 2103. 26) Every leap year the town of Antony on the Texas/New Mexico border holds a Leap Year Festival. Today they're celebrating with hot air balloons, a parade, parachutes and special birthday cake for all. 27) Tasteful leap year merchandise, oh yes. 28) Brothers and sister Heidi, Olav and Leif-Martin Henriksen of Stavanger, Norway were all born on February 29th - in 1960, 1964 and 1968 respectively. 29) And that was leap month on diamond geezer. Full explanation of how leap years work scattered further down the page.
About time [2453065]
It's not easy to count the number of days between one date and another, particularly when the two dates are many years or even centuries apart. Astronomers get round this problem by measuring time in Juliandays. Day 1 began at noon on Monday January 1st 4713 BC (don't ask), Julius Caesar began his calendar on day 1704989, and today at noon we reach day 2453065. You can calculate Julian dates, and lots of other calendar conversions, here.
Last February on diamond geezer I was busy counting things. Ten different counts, to be precise, in a thrilling daily feature called 'The Count'. Think of it as a 28-day tally chart. Now, one year later, I thought I'd revisit those 10 counts to see how different they were this February compared to last February, and then ponder meaningfully on how my life's changed since last year. Or not.
Count 1 (Blog visitors): Last February more than two thousand visitors logged in to diamond geezer (that's about 75 a day). This February the visitor tally is nigh seven thousand, a more than threefold increase of which I'm mighty proud. Thanks to you the reader for dropping by, and to all those of you who link here from your blogs and keep the visitors flowing. 250 daily readers eh? Blimey, that's almost as few people as watch bid-up.tv at 3am. Total number of visitors to this webpage in February 2003: 2141 Total number of visitors to this webpage in February 2004: 6917
Count 2 (Google searches): I think we've established that Google will link to anything, like the bindweed of the internet. Nobody is safe from its beady searching eye, and many's the bewildered soul misdirected here in search of some nugget of information I know nothing about. Still, at least the recent steady dripfeed of Google image-seekers doesn't seem to be skewing my statistics too much. Total number of search engine referrals to this webpage in February 2003: 316 Total number of search engine referrals to this webpage in February 2004: 947
Count 3 (Blog content): Now this surprised me. I thought I was writing a lot more this year than I was last year, but that turns out not to be the case. Only a bit more in fact. Good, I'd hate to think my blogging was increasing out of control like an addiction or something. Do anything for a hit, me. Total number of words in diamond geezer in February 2003: 14392 Total number of words in diamond geezer in February 2004: 16214
Count 4 (Spam): I've been plagued by spam over the last year. Last February I was barely touched, but then my blog email address started attracting Nigerians with erectile dysfunction and then there was no stopping them coming. In January I was clogged by 437 chunks of processed spam, and then (joy!) my service provider installed a filter to block them at source. So, this February, only one more spam than last year - result! Total number of spam emails I received in February 2003: 30 Total number of spam emails I received in February 2004: 31
Count 5 (Nights out): Now, here's the big change in my life. Last February there were seven nights I stayed in - this February there were only seven nights I went out. From three quarters extrovert to three quarters introvert, that's one hell of a personality switch. I thought this might happen when my bestmate emigrated to America last March. I suspect what I really need to do is to get off my arse and go out and do something on my own instead. Just not tonight though, can't be bothered... The number of nights in February 2003 I went out and was vaguely sociable: 21 The number of nights in February 2004 I went out and was vaguely sociable: 7
Count 6 (Alcohol intake): After the last category, it probably comes as no surprise that my Becks intake has plummeted too. I no longer hiccup so often either. Anyone noticed if the brewery's share price has dropped accordingly? Total number of bottles of Becks I drank in February 2003: 58 Total number of bottles of Becks I drank in February 2004: 17
Count 7 (Tea intake): Blimey that's consistent. Total number of cups of tea I drank in February 2003: 135 Total number of cups of tea I drank in February 2004: 135
Count 8 (Trains used): See, Ken Livingstone's transport policies are vindicated - transport usage in London is on the increase by 6% year on year. Obviously I've extrapolated that figure from a very small sample, i.e. me, but looks like the Congestion Charge is a success. Either that or the Central Line is finally working again. Total number of trains I travelled on in February 2003: 103 Total number of trains I travelled on in February 2004: 109
Count 9 (Exercise taken): My daily exercise is walking up escalators, even the really long ones. None of this strutting around time-wasting at the gym, I get my workout underground. And look, the same number as last year, apart from one escalator I couldn't walk up because some thoughtless git was blocking it with a wheelie suitcase. Total number of escalators I walked up in February 2003: 73 Total number of escalators I walked up in February 2004: 72
Count 10 (Mystery count): I never told you exactly what I was mystery-counting last year, did I? I said I would if the count ever crept above zero, but it didn't, not last February and not this February either. Nor even the February before that, for that matter. London - it's overrated. Total number of times that the mystery event happened in February 2003: 0 Total number of times that the mystery event happened in February 2004: 0
About time [25770]
The Earth wobbles. It wobbles on its axis like a spinning top, but very very slowly, which is why you've never noticed. It leans at an angle of 23.5° and gradually spins round once every 25770 years thanks to a phenomenon called precession ofthe equinoxes. At present the North Pole points pretty much towards Polaris, a small star in the constellation of Ursa Minor, but this gradually changes as the Earth's axis traces out a giant circle in the sky. In 2000 BC our pole star was Thuban, in the constellation of Draco, and around the time of Julius Caesar there was no pole star at all. Polaris reaches its closest to the pole in AD 2102, then the pole moves on to Alderamin in AD 7500, Deneb in AD 10000 and the bright star Vega in AD 13000. As the constellations shift in the sky, so the signs of the Zodiac also shift from their original positions, moving backwards one sign every 2150 years. The Spring Equinox isn't really in Aries any more, it's been travelling through Pisces for the last two millennia and is now entering Aquarius. Which is just one reason why astrology is bollocks.
Retail therapy update: My Amazon wishlist has been up for a week now, full of London-based media stuff you could buy me for my birthday. I've added a few more books to the list to keep it fresh, and now I'm wondering what'll be left for me to buy for myself in a week's time. Hmmm, judging by all the action so far, everything. This is probably just as well - my letterbox isn't Amazon-package-sized anyway, so why should I waste time trooping round to the local sorting office when I could be out doing proper shopping instead? Hmm, no, sorry, I still don't quite believe that.
I was reading some article about the relentless advance of mobile phones yesterday, in which the boss of Nokia said that mobile telephony was becoming "the sixth medium". It was news to me that there were five media in the first place. The others, apparently, are radio, TV, print, the recording industry and the internet. Makes perfect sense now I come to think about it, even if 'the recording industry' is a bit of a vague category better split into music and film. Which makes seven media.
To support my retail therapy I thought I'd see how much I spend on each medium over the course of a year - that's both money and time - and stick the list of seven media in order. Here's my list. What about yours?
total money spent
total time spent
1) mobile
1) internet
2) internet
2) music
3) print
3) television
4) music
4) print
5) television
5) radio
6) radio
6) mobile
7) film
7) film
Quick analysis of results: I spend most money on my mobile, but I hardly ever use it. Maybe I'm signed up to the 'mug' contract (I bet Value Witch will have something to say about that). I use the internet a lot, but film just passes me by these days. I do well out of TV and radio (see, the BBC is good value for money), and probably don't read quite as much as I ought to. And I don't spend much on new music, maybe because I'm too busy listening to old stuff I already own instead.
About time [3300]
Our Gregoriancalendar includes one leap year every four years, except in century years not divisible by 400. That's a total of 97 extra days every 400 years, making an average year length of 365.2425 days. Very very close to the correct length of 365.24219 days, but still not exactly correct. Pope Gregory was only out by 26 seconds a year, but those few seconds add up to one whole day every 3300 years. Not a problem we're ever going to have to worry about, but in a few millennia someone's going to need to drop an extra February 29th to kick the calendar back in line.
Last month I asked you to tell me from where is the best view in London? You came up with lots of answers, including up the top of the Eye, Hampstead Heath, the top deck of a Routemaster, and Alexandra Palace. But two particular spots came out on top - Blackheath Point and Richmond Hill. So I went along to see what all the fuss was about.
Click on the picture above to see the full view from 'the Point' - an outcrop on the edge of Blackheath, overlooking the centre of London. Immediately below lie the streets of Greenwich, clinging to the side of this unlikely hill, a stack of neat terraces and bland council flats. And in the distance... well, ok, my camera isn't very good at picking out the detail, but there's a wheel and a gherkin and all the other London sights you might expect. The Point itself is a small strip of parkland, half grass and half mud, well off the tourist trail, used by well off locals for exercising their dogs. I'd have enjoyed the view more if there hadn't been two labradors frisking in the excrement behind me, but the view in front of me was unexpectedly impressive. Thanks for pointing it out.
Across the other side of South London lies Richmond Park, a huge expanse of green untroubled by public transport. In one corner of the park is Richmond Hill, from the top of which can be seen two celebrated views. The most well-known of these is to the west across cow-strewn meadows towards the meandering Thames. It's rather pretty, and the local population clearly enjoy hobbling along the terraces atop the hill to see it, but I've seen better.
Less well-known, but more interesting, is the view to the east. Central London may be a long way away, and the skyscrapers may look more like distant matchsticks, but the astonishing thing is that the City is visible at all. My photo here was taken from the top of King Henry's Mound, a prehistoric burial mound set on the highest point of Richmond Hill. There's a framed gap in the bushes here, looking out directly down an avenue cut through the nearby woods. You won't be able see it in the photo, and it's not easy with the human eye either, but perfectly aligned at the end of that avenue lies St Paul's Cathedral. Precisely 10 miles away.
This is one of London's three designated linear views, protected by planning regulations. You can't build a tall building anywhere on the line of sight between Richmond Hill and St Paul's, it's the law. The other two protected views, by the way, are from Westminster Pier to St Paul's, and from the Mall to Buckingham Palace (though I'm not quite sure what anyone would build on that last one).
There are also six protected London panoramas, one of which is the view from Blackheath Point. Similar planning rules apply. The other five include Alexandra Palace and HampsteadHeath (which shows what good taste you all had), plus Primrose Hill, Kenwood and Greenwich Park. All covered by the London Designated View Framework, which you can find in Mayor Ken's latest umpteen-page London Plan (check page 37 of this enormous pdf for a great map showing all the protected lines of sight). Good to know that you, and your ancestors, will still be able to enjoy these views for years to come.
About time [1000]
There are 1000 years in a millennium. Thank goodness blogs hadn't really taken off five years ago, otherwise dreary people would have been droning on and on about how the arrival of the year 2000 wasn't actually the start of the new Millennium after all. Well, I'd hate to think you all missed out. I wrote a huge long spiel on the subject at the time - I just didn't have a blog to post it on. Thankfully that situation is now rectified. Click here please - let's party like it's 1999.
Leap day - 29 leap facts for February 29th
The Count 2004
Seven media
Across the other side of South London lies Richmond Park, a huge expanse of green untroubled by public transport. In one corner of the park is Richmond Hill, from the top of which can be seen two celebrated views. The most well-known of these is to the west across cow-strewn meadows towards the meandering Thames. It's rather pretty, and the local population clearly enjoy hobbling along the terraces atop the hill to see it, but I've seen better.
