Are blog archives a waste of space? I only ask because I've noticed that my archives now stretch to 50 months, 50 pages, and I wonder how many of these ever get read.
The key thing about blogs is their immediacy. When you write a new post it always appears at the very top of your front page, in a position of due prominence, where it gains your readers' full attention. People see what you have to say while it's still relevant, in the here and now, maybe even generating sufficient online momentum for a lengthy debate to materialise. Reverse chronological ordering is the perfect online format for the discussion of today's touchstone issues. Everything you write on a blog will always be read by your regular readers, at least until you write something else.
And then each post starts slipping down the front page. It only takes one new post for the second post to be overlooked, especially if it now appears off the bottom of the reader's computer screen. Few people can be bothered to scroll down to check whether there's anything they've not read, so fresh comments dry up and interaction ceases. Slowly each post sinks further and further down into obscurity, still on your blog's front page but increasingly ignored. All that effort you put into writing the post is suddenly wasted, because nobody's reading it any more.
And then, after a set length of time (which on my blog is 2 weeks), the post vanishes completely from the front page into the archives. In this netherworld it lives out a miserable existence, unseen and wholly unloved. New readers to your blog may never notice it, never read it, even if it's an absolutely fantastic piece of writing. They're too busy reading whatever's at the top of your front page - the post you want them to read today. And yes, I know that some people trawl back through blog archives occasionally, but they're very much in the minority. For most internet users, out of sight is out of mind.
I choose to maintain monthly archives on my blog. I want my back catalogue to remain as accessible as possible, and this means dividing it up into large but manageable chunks. I could have plumped for weekly archives instead, except there'd be more than 200 of those by now and nobody would ever plough through them. Or I could have done what many people advise and set up individual post pages. No distractions, no surrounding clutter, just a single post on a single page. But I hate individual post pages. I much prefer to read posts in context, not in isolation. Individual archive pages destroy the flow of a blog and hide its character. Whatever bloggers might hope, nobody clicks repeatedly on "next post" links on individual post pages because they have no incentive to look, and in this way brilliant writing can disappear without trace.
I apologise for maintaining monthly archives on my blog. Monthly archives act as honeytraps for search engines, attracting punters in search of information that isn't there. I may never have written a post about "negative numbers before the 14th century" or "castro hat in hillingdon", but I have used all those words within a single month and so search engines mistakenly believe I've written something relevant. Yah, suckers. But poor misguided suckers, who may have invested considerable time trawling though 30 days of my ramblings only to find nothing of any relevance.
And I apologise for writing quite so much today about blog archives. In doing so I've knocked yesterday's post so far down the page that, if you didn't read it yesterday, you'll probably never bother. As for Saturday's offering, its time has passed, and last week's posts are already on a one-way ticket to oblivion. My 50 monthly archives therefore remain merely as a repository of reading material for search engine stragglers and the terminally bored. The immediacy of blogging damns 99% of all blog content to online irrelevance. And that last sentence will remain true long after anyone is still reading it.
I SPY LONDON the definitive DG guide to London's sights-worth-seeing Part 12:New London Architecture
Location: The Building Centre, Store Street, WC1E 7BT [map] Open: 9am - 6pm (closed Sunday) Admission: free 5-word summary: what's coming up in London Website:www.newlondonarchitecture.org Time to set aside: half an hour
London is a city of building sites, forever changing, forever evolving. Old housing is replaced by new, decaying warehouses become eco-friendly community centres and unloved office blocks are reborn as dazzling glass towers. The NewLondonArchitecture exhibition exists to track the pace of this change, and to provide an overview of what's in store for London and its skyline.
The highlight of the exhibition is a giant 1:1500 scale model of Central London [photos]. From Kensington to Stratford and from Islington to Lambeth, the buildings of the capital have been lovingly miniaturised in beige plastic. Look carefully and you can spot all the familiarsights in the centre of town, as well as transport links, parkland and rows of suburban backstreets. I was particularly impressed, zooming in, to be able to identify fine detail such as the indented corners of my flat in Bow and the tiny courtyard beyond. Scattered across the model (in bright white plastic) are various major new building projects, such as the Shard at London Bridge and the cluster of skyscrapers proposed for the City. Riverside developments around Vauxhall and Chelsea are also clearly marked, while out east you can see the full extent of recent plans for the Olympic Park and Docklands. At this scale it's possible to sense whether each new structure will fit seamlessly into its existing environment or else intrusively dominate the skyline.
If you can tear your eyes away from the model, wall displays provide complementary information on individual building projects in every borough across London. Elsewhere on the ground floor, the Centre also runs a series of temporary exhibitions on a variety of issues of architectural interest. The emphasis might be on signage, or office space, or transport infrastructure, or building style, but it's almost always worth a look. You may not stay for long, but the ever-changing displays merit repeated visits. If you want to join the debate as the face of London evolves, it pays to be informed. by tube: Goodge Street, Tottenham Court Road
Update • My parents say thanks for all your kind messages yesterday. And we had a lovely lunch too. • If you only read this page via an RSS feed, then you missed a visual treat yesterday. Well, you missed a lot of blue, anyway, • All of BBC1's dancing idents were screened one final time at 1 o'clock yesterday morning, after the late night weather forecast. Just in case you weren't awake, you can watch the complete 3½ minute medley here. • 'Kites' was the first new BBC1 ident to be shown yesterday, just before 10am. • TV ident addicts might enjoy watching a medley of BBC1 balloons here, and a medley of classic BBC2 2s here.
On a black and white Saturday afternoon precisely 45 years ago, in a parish church half a mile outside London, my Mum and Dad got married. It was a very typical wedding, by all accounts. The bride was radiant in white, the groom wore a smart but unfamiliar suit, and friends and relations came together to spend the entire day smiling. Photographs of the event show aunts and uncles looking impossibly young, cousins looking unbelievably cute and fashions looking frighteningly dated. A special day for all concerned, so I'm told, and it's become increasingly special with each passing anniversary. Thousands of couples were married on that same Saturday in 1961, but not many of them have made it to celebrating 45 years together.
I used to believe that I grew up in a normal family with normal parents. I've since come to learn the error of my ways. During my childhood my parents were calm, sane and cheerful. They enjoyed rather than tolerated one another's presence. They worked well together as a double act, especially working their horticultural magic in the garden. They created a safe and supportive home environment within which my brother and I had every opportunity. Sure they had the odd argument (doesn't everybody), but never for very long. They were, indeed still are, the happy couple.
It wasn't until I got older that I discovered not everybody has parents like this. Quite the opposite in fact. Some people have parents who moan and gripe, others who argue and intimidate. Some have parents who spoil them rotten, or who let them run riot. Some have parents who don't care, or who don't care enough. Some have parents who pretend everything's fine when it isn't, or who've split up because they recognised things would never work out. Some have parents who they've never met or, even worse, who never want to meet them. Dysfunction in all its many forms turns out to be the norm, and my contented nuclear family is, alas, in the minority.
I'm enormously grateful that I grew up in abnormal normality, and I couldn't have picked two better parents if I'd tried. So I'm off up to Norfolk today for a celebratory meal, because surviving 45 years together is an anniversary well worth commemorating. It's a lovely day for it, and it's also a lovely day for the thousands of couples who've chosen this afternoon to get married or civilly partnershipped. Good luck to you all, and I hope that some of you reach 2051 still together... and still smiling.
Today BBC1 screens its dancing idents for the very last time. You know the ones. People dressed in red cartwheeling on rooftops, or tai chi-ing by a loch, or zipping around a basketball court in wheelchairs, and several other politically correct gyrations. From tomorrow there's a new set of idents based on big swirly circles, including kite circles, bike circles and hippo circles. They're still sort of red, like the dancers, but the roundness echoes back to the good old BBC1 globe. If you can't wait 24 hours, you can watch all eight idents here on this YouTube showreel. You'll probably hate them first time round, but in four years I bet you'll be sorry to see them go. Just like you were when all the previous ones were replaced. Which is/was your favourite?
1964-69: The first black and white globe, on a black or white background [link][watch] 1969-74: The famous mechanical black and blue globe rotating in front of a curved mirror (nicknamed NODD - Nexus Orthicon Display Device)[link][watch] 1974-81: A bold update of the previous design, with bright yellow land and bright blue sea [link][watch] 1981-85: A less chunky logo beneath a slightly greener globe [link][watch] 1985-91: A computer-generated golden globe (nicknamed COW - Computer Originated World)[link][watch] 1991-97: A swirly globe designed by Martin Lambie-Nairn (the first corporate branding)[link][watch]
1997-2002: The balloons. Ah, the big orange balloons. I loved the balloons. Not quite as much as I loved the leapy jumpy flashy 2s over on BBC2 [watch], but the balloons were still great [watch]. Almost all of the shots were real too. Here's a list of all the locations where the balloons were filmed... • 1997: Swinside Stone Circle, Cumbria; Docklands, London; Felixstowe, Suffolk; South Downs; Snowdonia; Cardiff; Loch Duich, Highland; Forth Rail Bridge; Strangford Lough, County Down • 1998: The Needles, Isle of Wight; Cley-next-the-Sea, Norfolk; St Michael's Mount, Cornwall; Blackpool Tower; Dunluce Castle, County Antrim • 1999: Angel of the North, Gateshead; Armadillo, Glasgow; Second Severn Bridge; Millennium Dome • 2000: Skateboarders, Carnival; Market; Bungee
2002-06: The dancers - Capoeira; Salsa; Acrobats; Haka; Hip hop; Ballet; Tapdogs; Festival; Music video; Bollywood; Tango; Tai Chi; Skateboarders; Masaai; Tumbler [link][link] 2006: The circles(with filming locations) - Bikes (Shepperton Studios); Ring a roses (Coton Manor, Northants); Kites (Ynyslas beach, Borth); Moon (Kamenjak peninsula, North Croatia); Surfer (Puerto Escondido, Mexico); Windows (Greenwich Millennium Village); Football (Haberdasher Estate, Hackney); Hippos (computer generated)[link][watch]
As October advances, a change sweeps across the morning streets of London. Look at what the capital's commuters are wearing this week. Gone are the bright colours of summer, and in their place are greys, blacks, browns, beiges and navy blues. A certain temperature threshold has been crossed, and suddenly everybody's wearing dull jackets and coats (or even, in particularly extreme cases, scarves).
All except one bloke who's still wandering the streets in purple, or blue, or pink, or green, or whatever shirt he pulled off the rail this morning. Which would be me. Because it's not cold yet, is it? Not in the slightest. I can't say I've noticed a nip in the air, not even at half past seven on my walk to the station. I'm perfectly comfortable in shirtsleeves, even when all around have started layering up. It's as if everybody except me has looked at the calendar rather than the weather forecast and thought "ooh... October... must wear jacket". Or am I the one behaving oddly?
I mean, I've not turned my central heating on yet either. More to the point, I've not even thought about turning my central heating on yet. Many of you will have tweaked your thermostats this week to take off the overnight chill, but I've not noticed any such drop in indoor temperature. It's still comfortably mild in my flat, with not the slightest hint of goosepimpling. I've not considered wearing a jumper, or doubling up the duvet, let alone whacking on any artificial heating, because I'm not cold. Maybe I'm fortunate that my walls are Victorian-thick, or maybe I have kind neighbours whose radiators are already running at full pelt. Or maybe the rest of you are all wimps.
So I just wanted to say (to Britons at least)... it's not cold yet, OK? Don't cave in and squander the world's energy resources by switching on your heating, not for a few more weeks at least. If you're feeling a bit shivery indoors then be brave and wear a fleece or a sweater, because it might help stave off global warming for, ooh, at least a few more minutes. And if you see me walking down the street this morning in my brightly-coloured single-layered workclothes, don't call me a nutter, call me resilient.
fivelinks • Laura-Ann has been on an illicit urban exploration round Severalls Mental Hospital near Colchester. It's huge, it's eerie, it's been empty for a decade, and it's shortly to be knocked down to create a prime residential development. Great photos, great shame. • Little People is Slinkachu's tiny arts project, with hand-painted miniature humans left around London to fend for themselves. [yes, I know I'm late with this one, but it's ever so sweet] • Matthew has mashed up Google Maps with the National Rail website to create Vaguely live train maps. He only covers 14 stations so far, but there's probably one near you. • Urbanpath produce a monthly list of the nicest things in London. The current top three are a fishmonger in Clapham, a butcher in Highbury and a boutique in Hampstead, but a few of the top 100 aren't pretentious guff. • If you're ever bored and in need of some musical nostalgia, try 1500 favourite 80s videos. There are bound to be at least fifty that make you go "Oh wow, I've not seen that for ages. Or indeed ever."
There's one business-critical skill that no curriculum delivers, no syllabus embraces and no training course provides. And yet without this skill your likelihood of holding down a job for any considerable length of time is greatly decreased. I refer of course to the ability to write issue-sensitive non-inflammatory politically-correct email messages.
You know what you want to write. You want to write...
Crabface
Your latest decision is insane. You can't suddenly decide to throw a hissy fit and change the rules of this project halfway through! Are you a moron or something? Your cretinous plans will end up costing us a small fortune, and there's no bloody way we'll meet existing deadlines. Although it's just the kind of half-arsed incompetence I've come to expect from you, you miserable tosser.
Maverick
But you can't write that, even if it's true. You have to write something more calm, more measured, more rational. You can't afford to enrage the recipient, even if they are a miserable tosser. You have to express your complete dissatisfaction without ever causing offence. You have to be mindful of company policy, and corporate etiquette, and the fact that this email could eventually be forwarded to your boss resulting in your instant dismissal. You have to write with vigilance and forethought, selecting each word with care and constructing every phrase with caution. You have to write something like this...
Dear Stakeholder
I am writing with reference to your latest change control directive. I would like to draw to your immediate attention to the potential operational issues which will ensue should project parameters be refocussed within the timeframe specified. Implementation of contractual variance at this stage would be in direct contravention of previously agreed protocols. Your proposed restructuring of functional management will result in project deliverables failing to achieve target deadlines within existing cost profiles. Contingency planning of risk management strategies will be insufficient to prevent the immediate realignment of key quality milestones. Lessons learned from previous project cycles indicate that any deviation from existing procedures will precipitate business-critical operational meltdown. Please confirm how you would wish us to proceed. I look forward to working with you in the future.
Best regards Minion
In the past this sort of discussion would always have been held by telephone. Talking through an issue was much easier, and faster, and less likely to cause offence. But telephone calls don't leave a "paper trail", and paper trails are absolutely essential in today's risk-averse world, so email it is. At least with an email you can plan to express precisely what you need to say, with not a word out of place. But drafting, writing and honing those words to perfection takes ten times longer than any phone call. What a waste of valuable office hours the writing of officious email has become. We should all rise up and complain to our line managers about it. In writing, of course.
Welcome to the Creative Lounge [4]
Take a seat. Take a deep breath.
Now, try flexing your creative muscle...
See if you can come up with a few perfectly crafted names for the following.
I started you off, and now I've added some of your best ideas. Any more?
Children'snames
Most parents give their children sweet lovely names like Joseph and Emily. But what if children's names better reflected the realities of modern life? Your suggestions please. Girls' names: Lippy, Mona, Bellie, Sulkie, Rebella, Slammer, Sourpuss, Asda, Ingratia, Waddia, Blinga, Steala, Bacardi, Nicotina, Pixel, Chlamydia. Boys' names: Roly, Bratt, Asbo, Chubb, Vandle, Shuddit, Git, Tesco, Wheedler, Jinx, Gawk, Chav, Dosh, Hashi, Oiyu, Gizmo, Fatwa, Lidl Johnny.
Chemical elements
There must be a number of rare chemical elements still waiting to be discovered. Your suggestions please.
• Euphonium (the sub-atomic particle that carries text messages from mobile to mobile)
• Cranium (the chemical in the brain which pensioners with Alzheimers gradually lose)
• Palladium (the mind-altering substance that makes Michael Barrymore think he has talent)
• Belgium (the flattest substance known to man, even more so than week-old lemonade)
• Planetarium (only eight of these atoms exist, although they are rather large)
• Geranium (the brown substance in soil that makes weeds grow faster than other plants)
• Pandamoanium (aphrodisiac for large Chinese mammals)
• Teadium (a hot, sweet substance popular with plumbers)
• Dumdedumdedumdium (a substance only found in Ambridge)
• Iwraniwm (Radioactive element found only in Wales)
• Aquarium (rather watery, can only be kept in large rectangular glass containers)
• Millennium (symbol Mm - discovered in Greenwich in the year 2000 by Peter Mandelson)
• Spectrum (symbol Zx - basic substance of all modern computers)
• Tedium (symbol Zz - the dullest element of all)
8am: Greet the security guard with a cry of "Hello old mate". Stop! Describing a work colleague as "old" is now illegal. Instead, greet the guard with a cry of "Hail fellow colleague of indeterminate longevity".
9am: Greet the post boy with a cry of "Oi soft lad". Stop! Describing a work colleague as a "lad" is now illegal. Certain vocabulary is implicitly engendered with negative age-related subtext and must never be used on company premises.
10am: Stick a photo of your daughter on the pinboard beside your desk. Stop! Exhibiting documentary evidence that you are of sufficient age to have sired offspring is now illegal. Bring in a photo of your kitten instead.
11am: Gather by the water cooler and discuss childrens TV favourites. Stop! Discussing old TV programmes is now illegal. Some of your workmates may feel alienated because they weren't born when Camberwick Green was last shown. Ensure that you discuss only up-to-date programmes such as Songs of Praise and the Antiques Roadshow.
12noon: Refuse to attend a training course because you're retiring next month. Stop! Turning down a personal development opportunity is now illegal. If the rest of us have to go on bloody tedious training courses then you're jolly well coming along too, even if you don't have time to put any of it into practice.
1pm: Walk upstairs to the canteen for lunch. Stop! Showing off one's physical prowess in the workplace is now illegal. Some of your workmates may no longer be fit enough to climb stairs and are likely to feel snubbed. Take the lift instead.
2pm: Tell your workmates about the world cruise you're planning next summer. Stop! Flaunting your age-related wealth is now illegal. Show some respect for your younger colleagues weighed down by student debt whose best hope next summer is an Easyjet flight to Düsseldorf.
3pm: Shred the interview applications of anybody over the age of 30. Stop! Refusing to shortlist job applicants just because they'll be ugly and boring is now illegal. You're going to have to start working with tedious middle-aged dullards who talk about mortgages all the time and aren't worth flirting with.
4pm: Ask your line manager for tomorrow off work. Stop! Taking too many days off work is now illegal. If freshly graduated apprentices are only permitted a fortnight's leave a year, then your over-generous allowance needs to be cut back to match.
5pm: Stick talcum powder in your hair, grab a white stick and go hobbling across the office shouting "you'll have to speak up dear, I'm a bit deaf". Go ahead, that's hilarious. Old wrinklies can always take a good joke, and if they can't then sack the bastards.
I SPY LONDON the definitive DG guide to London's sights-worth-seeing Part 11:The Museum of Brands, Packaging & Advertising
Location: Colville Mews, Notting Hill, W11 2AR [map] Open: 10am - 6pm (closed Monday) Admission: £5.80 5-word summary: old packaging to brands new Website:www.museumofbrands.com Time to set aside: an hour or two
When was the last time you saw a packet of Omo washing powder? Or a tin of Libby's evaporated milk? Or a Pink Panther candy bar? Once these items were commonplace in shops and cupboards across the country, but no more. Robert Opie remembers, and retains, them all. From a single Munchies chocolate wrapper bought in 1963, he's built up an extraordinary collection of branded products and promotional items which catalogue the evolution of Britain's consumer society. Last year he moved his collection from Gloucester to London and set up shop in Notting Hill round the corner from trendy Portobello Market. It's not an easy location to find, but his new museum is well worth the effort of a visit.
The first, and largest, part of the exhibition guides you through a dimly-lit time tunnel of packaging nostalgia, from Victoriana to the present day. The early displays are a reminder of brands long since eclipsed (Rinso, Vim and Brasso, for example) as well as products nobody buys any more (liniment, desiccated soup, blancmange and effervescing liver salts). Certain older products, such as Milky Bars and Wrights Coal Tar soap, have proved far more resilient and are seen here back in their earliest incarnation. Tastes change as the decades speed by (whatever happened to tins of treacle? whatever happened to Hooch?), while packaging design has become bolder and less elaborate. A series of parallel displays showcase toys and memorabilia from each era, with blackout tape, coronation mugs and Crossroads Motel boardgames each making an appearance as appropriate.
As you walk round the exhibition you'll eventually reach an era which makes you exclaim "good grief, here's all the stuff I'd forgotten I used to eat!" For me it was the 1970s exhibit which transported me straight back to my childhood. I remember that packet of Chivers Jelly perfectly, and that box of Whitworth's currants, and that label on a Hartley's jam jar. And I used to love eating Lyons' individual fruit pies, and Tooty Frooties, and Cadbury's Bar Six, and chutney flavour Outer Spacers, and Magic Roundabout cupcakes, and Bird's Eye mini trifles in square tubs. It's no wonder my teeth are full of fillings.
After the chronological displays comes a special section detailing the evolution of individual brands. Subtle changes are evident when you're able to view several decades of development on a single shelf. Johnson's Baby Powder and Robinson's Lemon Barley Water, for example have evolved almost constantly over the past century but still retain elements of their original design. Where else could you play "spot the difference" with a row of HP sauce bottles, or Co-op 99 tea packets, or jars of Nescafe coffee? But a tin of Lyle's Golden Syrup really does look virtually identical today when compared with its original 19th century incarnation.
I was fortunate enough to have a long chat with Robert, the curator, before I left. We discussed Hartley's jam labels in some depth, like you do, and I told him how much I'd enjoyed the museum. We agreed that it's probably better to go round in a group rather than on your own, so that every memory evoked by brand nostalgia can be immediately shared. And we discussed how difficult it is to collect new examples of old packaging, because they've either long been thrown away or are sitting forgotten at the back of someone's kitchen cupboard. Richard is currently particularly keen to track down a can of wartime Spam, so if you (or an elderly relative) should have one, do please take it with you when you visit. by tube: Notting Hill Gate, Ladbroke Groveby bus: 23
England's warmest/coldest months on record: By the end of today, a weather record which has stood since 1729 should have fallen. With an average temperature exceeding 16½°C, this month looks set to be the warmest September ever recorded in the UK. That's according to the official list of Monthly Mean Central England Temperatures - a meteorological dataset stretching back nearly 450 years. The table below shows the warmest and coldest months recorded across Central England since 1659. These are based on the average temperatures over an entire month, including overnight, which is why the highs may not look especially high and the lows may not look especially low. But they are. And the figures are highly illuminating. We've not broken a coldest monthly temperature record in the UK for more than 50 years, and the majority of these have stood for two centuries or more. But five of the warmest months on record have occurred in the last 12 years, and two of these in 2006. Global warming anybody?
Month
Warmest on record
Coldest on record
January
1916 (7.5°C)
1795 (–3.1°C)
February
1779 (7.9°C)
1947 (–1.9°C)
March
1957 (9.2°C)
1674 (1.0°C)
April
1865 (10.6°C)
1837 (4.7°C)
May
1833 (15.1°C)
1698 (8.5°C)
June
1846 (18.2°C)
1675 (11.5°C)
July
2006 (19.7°C)
1816 (13.4°C)
August
1995 (19.2°C)
1912 (12.9°C)
September
2006 (16.8°C)
1807 (10.5°C)
October
2001 (13.3°C)
1740 (5.3°C)
November
1994 (10.1°C)
1782 (2.3°C)
December
1934/1974 (8.1°C)
1890 (–0.8°C)
Update: Even after a slightly cooler end to the month, the final average temperature for September 2006 is an exceptionally mild 16.8°C (beating the record set in 1729 by 0.2°C).
There's a new sight on the ever-fascinating streets of Tower Hamlets. Not litter bins, because we've had those for ages, but the big yellow stars recently slapped upon them. Tower Hamlets' bins are squat, black and boring, and are therefore very easily overlooked by passers by. Heaven knows how many local pedestrians have carelessly discarded an empty can or burger wrapper onto the pavement simply because they weren't able to spot a nearby bin quickly enough. They don't have this problem nextdoor in Hackney where the bins are bright green [photo], nor in Newham where all the bins are an intrusive shade of scary pink [photo]. But that won't work here. It would cost Tower Hamlets council far too much to replace all of their bins using a vibrant shade of rainbow plastic. Never mind, because a big luminous star-shaped sticker does the job just as effectively. This new campaign has provided maximum impact for minimum outlay. The stellar shape is smart without being tacky, and eye-catching without being over-intrusive. It's now easy to spot a star-stickered bin even from a long way off, as you can see here [photo]. No East End pavement need ever again be scattered with crisp packets, London Lites and chicken wings. It may have taken a month of Saturdays, but the Tower Hamlets Street Management Committee have finally got something right.
My apologies that yesterday's posts were of limited interest to a global audience. If you've not been watching BBC2 on Thursday evenings recently (which would be 99.9% of the world's population) then these two posts will have been utterly meaningless. I apologise. I should never assume that everybody will understand all of my UK-based cultural references. My blog needs to be accessible to all of my readers, no matter where they happen to live. My writing must never be inappropriately exclusive. So I've decided that I'm going to write less, and to use explanatory footnotes as appropriate. It's essential to be inclusive (il est essentiel d'être inclus) (es ist wesentlich, einschließlich zu sein) (es esencial ser inclusivo). Rest assured that this is not in any way dumbing down. It's just how the world works these days.
I read yesterday that the Hamster1 is on the mend. Well hurrah for that.
1 "The Hamster" is the nickname of Richard Hammond2. 2 Richard Hammond is one of the presenters of Top Gear3. 3 Top Gear is a BBC24 series in which middle-aged men test drive cars you can't afford whilst slagging off all other forms of transport. 4 BBC2 is a British television5 channel which we've already established you almost certainly don't watch. 5 Television is a 20th century telecommunication system for broadcasting and receiving moving pictures and sound over a distance.
The tube1 was very crowded last night. I had to stand all the way home.
1 The tube is another name for the London's Underground2 railway. 2 Most of the Underground isn't under the ground, but the first section3was underground and so the name stuck. 3 London's first underground railway ran between Paddington4a and Farringdon4b. 4a Paddington is a big station, not a little bear. 4b Farringdon is a district of Central London on the northwest edge of the City5. 5 The majority of the world's population will never visit Farringdon and don't give a damn6 about the place. 6 Sorry.
This morning I'm going to see my NHS1 dentist2 for a check-up3. It's her last day before she goes private4. I hope I don't have to come back for a filling5.
1 The National Health Service is a quaint British institution which is meant to offer poor and rich people the same level of medical treatment. 2 A dentist is state-appointed sadist in a white coat. 3 A check-up is five minutes of tooth-poking during which you get to stare intimately up the nostrils of a caring health professional. 4 Private dentistry is the same as NHS dentistry, only ten times more expensive and with a tooth-whitening option. 5 Damn the government's insane dental reforms.
20 entrepreneurs from the latest series of Dragon's Den • CrystalBoots: the first clear Wellington boot, combined with a unique fun range of slipper socks • CrickHitter: the best cricket hit trainer in the world • Q-TOP: an end cap for a cucumber so any remaining portion of unused cucumber may be inserted into the cap and placed in the refrigerator for future use • Trunki: help take the stress out of travelling with Trunki, a revolutionary ride-on child suitcase for globetrotting tots • The Knowledge: the first 24 hour helpline for London, manned by licensed London taxi drivers • mixalbum.com: mix tracks you’ve bought with other tracks and download them mixed together* • kardoktor: experts you can call to get advice and help regarding most vehicle servicing and repair problems • Itsa: the Itsa is a new beach towel that doubles up as a bag • Dr Cap: premier suppliers of urban streetwear* • Smartchartz: incentive charts that encourage your children to behave better • AutoSafe: seat belt height adjuster, perfectly aligning a child's belt into the correct position* • gardengopher: carries all your tools around the garden trying to take the strain out of digging • Coin Metrics: the Wireless Data Capture Module simply plugs into the slot machine* • Hesketh 4x4: a total new concept in 4 blade razor design • the Nuts Poker League: the chance of playing Texas Hold'em poker with people from all walks of life and age ranges* • easyXchair: the ARM CHAIR which converts into an EXERCISE MACHINE • mermaid id: a self initiated digital-sonar alarm, for use within man-overboard (MOB) situations* • StoryCode.com: a unique source of inspiring book recommendations and a great way to find the next book to read • Alpine Cleaning services: cleaning solutions for both the HGV/PSV industries, and suppliers of the MOBILE BRUSH WASH machine* • Eggxactly: a range of egg cookers based on a patent-pending individually controlled flexible heating element* * successfully obtained a deal
A new scourge is stalking the internet. You start to load a webpage in your browser... and you wait... and you wait... and you wait... and eventually the page loads. And then you notice why you've been waiting. Somewhere on the page is a colourful animation, probably (but not necessarily) rectangular in shape. You can't miss it - it's moving around, trying gleefully to attract your attention. It might not be an advert, but it probably is. Somebody else has made you wait, and wasted your time, in an attempt to sell you something you almost certainly don't want. It's not the end of the world if it happens once. But it is bloody annoying when it happens again and again <taps fingers> and again on page after page after page.
Actually it's an old scourge. Advertisers have been trying to screw the surfing public with inappropriate methods of online promotion for years. Like those horrific pop-up ads which used to appear out of nowhere whenever you clicked on certain webpages. You'd think "hmmm, why isn't this page loading?" and then, eventually, an evil flashing box would appear. If you were lucky you just got the one, but sometimes the more you tried to shut them down the more boxes tried to appear. Thankfully the emergence of pop-up blocker browser software means this online irritation is now pretty much a plague of the past.
And then advertisers worked out that you couldn't shut down their adverts if these were embedded in the webpage itself. So adverts started appearing above, beside and even in the middle of the content you were trying to read. First there were text adverts, like the ones I sneaked into this page yesterday. These were closely followed by image-based adverts, colourful and ubiquitous. And most recently we've been assaulted by dynamic Flash-based adverts, each far more intrusive and taking far longer to download. Advertisers are taking advantage of our increasing broadband speeds and continue to deliver as much "exciting visual content" as they think our system can take. Heaven help anybody today still struggling along on dial-up.
I don't see why my surfing experience should be impaired merely for the material gain of others. Sure adverts may be an integral part of the internet, but they shouldn't be allowed to dominate or even hijack my browser time. And it's not just adverts. Many webmasters insist on including embedded videos (oh please no) or music players (why oh why) or complicated Java-based widgets (oh how much longer must I wait?) which do little more than unintentionally annoy their audience. It's either thoughtless or selfish, and it's quite possibly both.
So I just wanted to laugh and say that I've managed to banish the majority of this visual spam from my computer. Hurrah for the Firefox browser, and its repertoire of cunning add-ons. Using the Adblock extension I can block a wide range of image-based adverts so that they need never appear on my screen again. Where you see a promotion from ad.doubleclick.net or pagead2.googlesyndication.com, I see a blank space or even no space at all. I no longer suffer from image-based advertisements intruding around or within online text - I just view pages the way they used to look in the good old days. It's brilliant.
And the Flashblock extension is even better. Ever since I installed it I've had no trouble whatsoever from annoying animations trying to load before I can read a webpage. In their place appear small arrowed buttons which I can choose to press or, more likely, choose to ignore. No Flash loads on my computer without my express permission. Hurrah! I'm in charge of my browsing experience once again, and it feels good... at least until some advertiser introduces something even more intrusive which I can't block. Like those damned annoying low-tech text ads. Thank goodness hardly anybody uses those any more.
OK, I'll stop! That's quite enough Christmas stuff for now.
But you know I could have kept it up for another 13 weeks.
Be very afraid. And very relieved.
I've been thrilled and excited by your reaction to my yuletide makeover. It seems I've stumbled upon a previously unclaimed blogland niche, and that's strategic marketing nirvana! I'll soon have advertisers queueing up to promote their hand-knitted stockings, food hampers and personalised gift labels - all essential purchases at this very special time of year. So, as Christmas continues to loom ever closer on the horizon, it's on with my seasonal tips, festive hints and words of urgent advice. O come, all ye faithful!!!
The Christmas Shop If like me you're a Londoner who finds it hard to resist the allure of Christmas shopping, you'll be delighted to hear that it's now possible to indulge your retail obsession all year round. Imagine my delight recently to discover an exclusive emporium close to London Bridge station devoted entirely to the sale of quality festive products. The Christmas Shop at Hay's Galleria is an Aladdin's Cave of yuletide essentials, from half-size Santas to pet-friendly crackers, and from glitter-dipped snowflakes to acrylic nativity treetrim. With personal service here never less than exemplary, SE1's shoppers are a-buzz with seasonal excitement. Meanwhile, on the other side of town, grateful shoppers are already flocking to Harrods' Christmas World department. This collection of quality decorations and top-notch gifts never fails to excite even the most exclusive shopper. Nobody could resist a green-jacketed Alexander bear or a toy-soldier shaped nutcracker, each an assured Christmas essential. And no child will ever forget the magic of a Father Christmas Breakfast Experience in the Georgian restaurant, not once you've forked out £35 for the privilege. Who said money can't buy you love? • recommended link:the Christmas Shop(Tooley Street heaven) • recommended link:Harrods at Christmas(never knowingly understated)
I wish it could be Christmas every day Let's not forget the humble Advent Calendar! Extended beyond Christmas to the New Year, for no religious reasons whatsoever, and packed behind each window with lovely artificial chocolate substitute in tiny low-carb bites. Yum. Advent may officially begin in December, but this year why not buy yourself an extra calendar and countdown to Advent throughout November. Or, even better, buy yourself another extra calendar and countdown to counting down to Advent throughout October. Triple the ancipation, triple the fun! • recommended link:Advent Calendar World(because it's never too early)
Merry Xbox The big unanswered mystery of Christmas is no longer "how did God's love manifest itself through Immaculate Conception?" but "will the Xbox 360 be ready for shipping in sufficient quantities by December?" Modern children expect nothing less than electronic consumer perfection, so it pays to establish their heartfelt retail desires with an early autumn trip round Hamleys. Top sellers this Christmas are expected to include anorexic dolls, Balamory SumoWarriors (batteries not included) and Jamie Oliver liposuction kits. Don't be a Scrooge with the kids this year, give 'em what they so justly deserve. • recommended link:Hamleys Christmas catalogue(toyland paradise)
Ultimate Festive Makeover Cover the front of your house with flashing fairy lights. 100% non-tacky. www.megaflash.com
Ding-a-Dong Merrily On High Delight your friends with one of our bleepy Christmas Carol ringtones. www.crazyfrog.com
Go to church this Christmas Day Because that's the point, isn't it? Not all of this rampant consumerism. Pah! www.babyjesus.net
Creme Eggs are back soon!! Hold tight now and it'll soon be the pre-Easter season again. Bring it on! www.cremeegg.com
Getting away from it all Why spend Christmas sat on a centrally-heated sofa watching the Queen's Speech when you could spend it on a tropical beach watching the sun set? You can avoid rampant commercialism at home by exploiting the poverty-stricken culture of some far distant non-Christian shanty town. Quick, before world leaders ban all non-essential global travel and you're forced to spend next Christmas on the sofa. • recommended link:Direct Line Xmas Breaks(getaway!!)
With just three months to go until Christmas, no doubt your thoughts have already turned to preparing for the festive season. So much to do, so little time. Gifts to buy, parties to plan, food to prepare, sparkly decorations to purchase... the list goes on and on.
So I've decided that now is the perfect time to reposition my blog to take full advantage of upcoming yuletide monetization opportunities. I'm on a new mission to bring you the very latest Christmas hints, tips and gossip, right here on my rebranded webpage. It's going to be festive-tastic. Have yourself a merry little Christmas!!!
Post Haste Do you have relatives in Uganda, New Zealand or the Pitcairn Islands? If so then time is already running out if you want to send them a Christmas gift this year. The last posting date for surface mail to these territories, and to many other countries outside of Europe, is coming up as early as next week! If that bijou hand-crafted ceramic vase isn't gift-wrapped and down at the Post Office by Monday 2nd October, there's no guarantee it'll arrive at its destination in time to grace a far-flung Christmas dinner table. Sure you could send it by airmail in December, but who wants to fritter away hard-earned money on wasteful luxuries? It pays to be prepared! • recommended link:Royal Mail last posting date calculator(it's sooner than you think)
Stocking up You can't fail to have noticed that supermarkets are already piling high their shelves with Christmas essentials. And there's never been a better time to buy! Here are three of my top recommendations: • Mince pies still have great novelty value at this time of year. You've not had one for months, so slip a packet into your trolley and give yourself a treat. A fruit-packed mince pie makes a great healthy addition to any child's school lunchbox too. Just keep an eye on the sell-by-date, and make sure you eat the whole of this first batch by the end of October. • It won't be long now before your local store stops selling cheap bags of peanuts and fills its shelves instead with vastly overpriced plastic tubs of cashews. Act quickly and you might be able to stock up on value bags of nuts while stocks last... and what's more your December party guests will never spot the difference! • What child wouldn't love to wake up on Christmas morning with a Cadbury's chocolate variety selection tucked into their stocking? How fantastic, then, that they're already available to purchase three months in advance. Store them carefully at the back of your wardrobe (and not in the airing cupboard) and there's every expectation that the Crunchie won't have melted and the Dairy Milk won't have gone a bit furry before each finally gets unwrapped. • recommended link:Sainsbury's online shop(already has a Christmas section, hurrah!)
In-laws, outlaws If you're married, or even just coupled, it won't be long now before senior members of both families are in touch demanding to know in whose presence you'll be spending Christmas. Will you spend the big day with your folks, or with theirs? Choose wrongly and your relationship could easily implode during three months of pre-yuletide social stress. Never mind that other people's families are always crashing bores with no social skills whatsoever, they still always expect you to be there while they unwrap homemade jumpers, drink sherry and go to bed early. And don't think you can compromise by agreeing to visit on Boxing Day instead, because that's a gross social snub and will never be forgiven. The only equitable solution is to plan ahead and have kids of your own. Both sets of doting grandparents will then immediately insist on coming to see you every Christmas, even if there's no room to stay overnight because the spare room is now a nursery, and all arguments will cease. • recommended link:Citizens Advice(you might need them sooner than you think)
White Christmas guaranteed Cover your lawn in tiny polystyrene chippings. 100% convincing, honest. www.spraysnow.net
MuslimWorld Holiday Club Spend your Xmas where baby Jesus is nothing special. Baghdad from £99 www.islamavac.com
Jamster club: Crazy Frog!!!! Get this crazy sound and ride with the frog each time you get a call! www.crazyfrog.com
Ever-Green recycling Ltd We'll be round on Boxing Day to take away all your unwanted gifts. www.ever-green.org
Future present There's no finer Christmas gift than a calendar. What better expression of your deep respect than to give somebody you love a few sheets of stapled paper emblazoned with glossy photographs of landscapes, popstars or kittens. Even better, 2007 calendars usually come with an extra 4 months upfront free, which means you could have been using a new model since September 1st. Excellent news, particularly if Shayne Ward is currently splashed across your 2006 calendar and you'd like to upgrade him as soon as possible for somebody with rather more zeitgeist. • recommended link:Calendar Warehouse(mmm, Anne Geddes 2007 now available!)
British decimal coins in order of weight ½p (1.78g); new 5p (3.25g); 1p (3.56g); 20p (5g); old 5p (5.65g); new 10p (6.50g); 2p (7.13g); new 50p (8g); £1 (9.50g); old 10p (11.31g); old 50p (13.5g); £2 (15.98g)
UK postal districtswhich are also official two-letter Scrabble words BA Bath; CH Chester; DA Dartford; EH Edinburgh; EN Enfield; EX Exeter; FY Blackpool; GU Guildford; HA Harrow; KA Kilmarnock; KY Kirkcaldy; LA Lancaster; ME Medway; NE Newcastle; OX Oxford; PA Paisley; PH Perth; PO Portsmouth; SO Southampton; ST Stoke-on-Trent; TA Taunton; YO York
I've been keeping an eye on the streetsigns down Bow Road for the last couple of months and, in particular, following the actions of the Tower Hamlets Pointless Streetsign Erection Committee. They've been busy ripping down some of E3's older street nameplates and replacing them with modern accessibility-compliant white rectangles.
This street sign at the end of MorningtonGrove[photo] is their latest target... and about time too. It's stuck to an old wall opposite the local Magistrates Court, a few metres down from Bow Road tube station. The sign looks like an MDF offcut wedged inexpertly into a grimy brick frame, with a wafer-thin layer of white plastic slapped on top. The lettering wasn't so much designed as stencilled, with several of the characters rather too close together and others not quite properly aligned. The faded Tower Hamlets logo in the top left corner is now barely visible, and the surface is peeling in ugly random patches. The whole thing has the look of a temporary street sign which has somehow outlasted its expected shelf life. But no longer. The Tower Hamlets Pointless Streetsign Erection Committee has inspected this wall and found it wanting. The old sign didn't meet stringent inclusivity guidelines and has therefore been removed, to be replaced by one of the council's ultra-new 21st century designs. The new lettering's a bit spindly, and the gleaming white background probably won't survive a winter of lager abuse without creaming up a bit, but it's a big improvement on the old 70s atrocity.
And this signage upgrade has had a rather wonderful side-effect. An original mid 19th century street sign has been magically revealed from its hiding place, and it's a bit of a masterpiece [photo]. Look at that expert chisel work - every character chipped to perfection and not a letter out of place. The surrounding brickwork may now be cracking up, but there's still more craftsmanship on display here than on all the other street signs down Bow Road put together. A shame then that the 150-year-old sign has had to be painted black in an attempt to obscure its heritage features from the eyes of passers-by, because time has moved on since this wall was first erected. Mornington Road has somehow become Mornington Grove, a name change probably enforced by the Tower Hamlets Post-war Street Renaming Committee. The new name hints at a rural lane between orchards and smallholdings, which is what the road used to be, and not a poky backwater street where locals now dump unwanted sofas. The old carved sign may be lovely, but post-war street renaming means it's also outdated, misleading and extinct. I bet it won't be too long before some officious workman comes along and boards over it again, blocking it from view, because councils have "an obligation" not to mislead the travelling public. Which would be a great shame, because this is a rare streetscape jewel in an age of increasingly bland conformity.
• My Bow Road street sign gallery[now 14 different styles along half a mile] • Mornington Road 1830(still fields); 1862(new build); 1872(up and coming); 1885(urban sprawl); Mornington Grove 2006(dead ordinary)
100 things I love about London [because it's five years today since I moved here]
Life, nightlife, the sense of history, the Underground, canalside strolls, the view from Greenwich Park, the fact there's always somewhere new to discover, cutting-edge architecture, classical architecture, Oxford Street, the chimes of Big Ben, nightbuses, world cinema, world cuisine, the world in a city, the 2012 Olympics, the sunlight on the Thames, buying your Sunday paper on Saturday evening, the museums in South Kensington, the museums that aren't in South Kensington, not needing a car, the wobbly Millennium bridge, being able to choose from more than two local radio stations, suburbia, Tate Modern, the view from Hampstead Heath, diversity, acceptance, mind the gap, six of Arsenal's Premiership away matches being nearly at home, strolling along the South Bank, Waterloo sunset, festivals, Trafalgar Square, knowing that you could walk to Trafalgar Square but not having to, piles of arty stuff, 100% style, the top pod on the London Eye, St Pancras station, decent mobile phone reception, free newspapers, cab drivers, memories embedded in every streetscape, Routemasters, blue plaques, global landmarks, taking a shortcut down a back street you've never walked down before, realising that Dr Johnson was right, watching the dawn over Tower Bridge,the forgotten corner of a Victorian cemetery, the West End, the East End, 24 hour bagel shops, culture on your doorstep, Banksy on your wall, deckchairs in Green Park, the Embankment illuminated, eyeballing a famous person in the street, the DLR, 0° longitude, the City, parklife, the view from Primrose Hill, far less fog than everyone imagines, snow on terraced rooftops, Covent Garden, the view from the front seat on the top deck of a bus, alleys, tunnels, being out at 4am, the Gherkin, decent record shops, Soho, pie and mash, street markets, speeding down the river beneath world famous bridges, garden squares, Oyster, always having something to do even when it's raining, urban wildlife, St Paul's Cathedral, walking faster than the traffic, following in Roman footsteps, New Johnston font, crossing Westminster Bridge at night on the back of a bike, the variety of Theatreland, just a short dash to the country, the British Museum, the anonymity of not knowing your neighbours, collective consciousness, common ground, the fact it's not as scary as out-of-towners think it is, Metro-land, moquette, deserted Thames-side beaches, the buzz, infinite choice, the city's constant resilience, feeling alive, just living here.
I sold my car five years ago today. I drove down to my local garage at lunchtime, handed over my car keys in exchange for a fat cheque, and waved goodbye to the world of driving. It felt good, at least until I realised I now had to walk the two miles back to the office.
I sold my car five years ago. It was my first and only car, and I'd had it for just a couple of years. It had four wheels and an engine, and it was blue. I'd only bought it because I had to, because it was a requirement of the job I'd been doing. But this was my last day in the job, and I wasn't sorry to see it go.
I sold my car five years ago. I was living in a Suffolk village at the time. The village had only five buses a day, at times more useful to pensioners than commuters. The local shop was a tiny post office which sold sellotape and 7th birthday cards but not milk or bread. The nearest supermarket was too far away to reach on foot, along rat-run country lanes I'd never risk walking along. Without a car I'd have been isolated and starving hungry.
I sold my car five years ago. I gave up the opportunity to drive wherever I wanted whenever I wanted. I ceased hurling myself along fast rural roads in a fragile metal box. I abandoned my private bubble kitted out with blaring hi-fi and a glove compartment full of barley sugars. I willingly surrendered my independence, speed and comfort.
I sold my car five years ago. I stopped having to fork out hundreds of pounds annually on petrol, and hundreds more pounds on insurance, and hundreds more pounds on servicing and repairs. I stopped having to hunt for an appropriate parking space, and risking extortionate fines if I couldn't find one. I had to start paying to use public transport again, but overall I saved an absolute fortune.
I sold my car five years ago. Nobody thanked me for my selfless action. Nobody gave me a certificate honouring the reduction in my carbon footprint. Nobody cheered when I stopped clogging up roads with three empty seats everywhere I went. No passing car drivers flashed their headlamps at me in deference to my greener lifestyle.
I sold my car five years ago. I recognise that this was only possible because I moved from Ruralsville to BigCity. But now I live somewhere where not having a car is the norm, and where sitting next to people on buses isn't sniffed at. I may have less freedom than before, but I also have less hassle and more money. Being car-free has made my life more carefree. And, I have to say, I wouldn't have it any other way.
All of the following sponsored surveys have clogged up the UK media over the last week.
Inner city areas have the highest number of uninsured drivers, a survey has revealed. Motor Insurer's Bureau
Black people are more likely than white people to be charged with possessing cannabis, a police study has found. Metropolitan Police
More than nine out of 10 12-year-olds in the UK now have a mobile phone, a survey has suggested. Carphone Warehouse
Britons worry about so-called yob culture far more than violent crime, vandalism or burglary, a survey says. Legal & General
Nine out of 10 retailers believe shop crime is low on the government's agenda, according to a new survey. British Retail Consortium
Homes in the north of England are more energy efficient than those in the South, a survey has revealed. British Gas
The long-term decline in church congregations has been slowed by people from ethnic minorities, a survey says. Christian Research
The most dedicated football fans spend nearly £100,000 following their team during a lifetime, a survey suggests. Virgin Money
Hundreds of thousands of people are failing to maintain mortgage payments and risk losing their homes, according to a national charity. Citizen's Advice
Households in the UK would recycle more waste if it was easier to understand what rubbish can and cannot be recycled, a survey has suggested. City & Guilds
Mothers who began their successful businesses at home are becoming a "powerful force" in British industry, a survey suggests. Yellow Pages
More than one third of children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder have been excluded from school, a survey of parents suggests. ADD Information and Support Service
Caithness has emerged as a stronghold for the water vole, according to the results of a survey. Scottish Natural Heritage
The average Briton feels that they need a retirement income of nearly £30,000 a year to live comfortably. Scottish Widows
Six out of 10 children buy a McDonalds Happy Meal at least once a month, a survey reveals. Weight Concern
Gloucester is the cheapest city in the UK for cocaine, crack cocaine and cannabis, according to a charity. DrugScope
(although I admit I did make one of them up. See, I told you it was easy)
I SPY LONDON
London is a city of building sites, forever changing, forever evolving. Old housing is replaced by new, decaying warehouses become eco-friendly community centres and unloved office blocks are reborn as dazzling glass towers. The New London Architecture exhibition exists to track the pace of this change, and to provide an overview of what's in store for London and its skyline.
1964-69: The first black and white globe, on a black or white background [link] [watch]
Welcome to the Creative Lounge [4]
When was the last time you saw a packet of Omo washing powder? Or a tin of Libby's evaporated milk? Or a Pink Panther candy bar? Once these items were commonplace in shops and cupboards across the country, but no more. Robert Opie remembers, and retains, them all. From a single Munchies chocolate wrapper bought in 1963, he's built up an extraordinary collection of branded products and promotional items which catalogue the evolution of Britain's consumer society. Last year he moved his collection from Gloucester to London and set up shop in Notting Hill round the corner from trendy Portobello Market. It's not an easy location to find, but his new museum is well worth the effort of a visit.
After the chronological displays comes a special section detailing the evolution of individual brands. Subtle changes are evident when you're able to view several decades of development on a single shelf. Johnson's Baby Powder and Robinson's Lemon Barley Water, for example have evolved almost constantly over the past century but still retain elements of their original design. Where else could you play "spot the difference" with a row of HP sauce bottles, or Co-op 99 tea packets, or jars of Nescafe coffee? But a tin of Lyle's Golden Syrup really does look virtually identical today when compared with its original 19th century incarnation.
There's a new sight on the ever-fascinating streets of Tower Hamlets. Not litter bins, because we've had those for ages, but the big yellow stars recently slapped upon them. Tower Hamlets' bins are squat, black and boring, and are therefore very easily overlooked by passers by. Heaven knows how many local pedestrians have carelessly discarded an empty can or burger wrapper onto the pavement simply because they weren't able to spot a nearby bin quickly enough. They don't have this problem nextdoor in Hackney where the bins are bright green [photo], nor in Newham where all the bins are an intrusive shade of scary pink [photo]. But that won't work here. It would cost Tower Hamlets council far too much to replace all of their bins using a vibrant shade of rainbow plastic. Never mind, because a big luminous star-shaped sticker does the job just as effectively. This new campaign has provided maximum impact for minimum outlay. The stellar shape is smart without being tacky, and eye-catching without being over-intrusive. It's now easy to spot a star-stickered bin even from a long way off, as you can see here [photo]. No East End pavement need ever again be scattered with crisp packets, London Lites and chicken wings. It may have taken a month of Saturdays, but the Tower Hamlets Street Management Committee have finally got something right.
Let's play Numberwang! [rules] [sample game] [play online]
OK, I'll stop! That's quite enough Christmas stuff for now.
If like me you're a Londoner who finds it hard to resist the allure of Christmas shopping, you'll be delighted to hear that it's now possible to indulge your retail obsession all year round. Imagine my delight recently to discover an exclusive emporium close to London Bridge station devoted entirely to the sale of quality festive products. The Christmas Shop at Hay's Galleria is an Aladdin's Cave of yuletide essentials, from half-size Santas to pet-friendly crackers, and from glitter-dipped snowflakes to acrylic nativity treetrim. With personal service here never less than exemplary, SE1's shoppers are a-buzz with seasonal excitement. Meanwhile, on the other side of town, grateful shoppers are already flocking to Harrods' Christmas World department. This collection of quality decorations and top-notch gifts never fails to excite even the most exclusive shopper. Nobody could resist a green-jacketed Alexander bear or a toy-soldier shaped nutcracker, each an assured Christmas essential. And no child will ever forget the magic of a Father Christmas Breakfast Experience in the Georgian restaurant, not once you've forked out £35 for the privilege. Who said money can't buy you love?
With just three months to go until Christmas, no doubt your thoughts have already turned to preparing for the festive season. So much to do, so little time. Gifts to buy, parties to plan, food to prepare, sparkly decorations to purchase... the list goes on and on.
This street sign at the end of Mornington Grove [photo] is their latest target... and about time too. It's stuck to an old wall opposite the local Magistrates Court, a few metres down from Bow Road tube station. The sign looks like an MDF offcut wedged inexpertly into a grimy brick frame, with a wafer-thin layer of white plastic slapped on top. The lettering wasn't so much designed as stencilled, with several of the characters rather too close together and others not quite properly aligned. The faded Tower Hamlets logo in the top left corner is now barely visible, and the surface is peeling in ugly random patches. The whole thing has the look of a temporary street sign which has somehow outlasted its expected shelf life. But no longer. The Tower Hamlets Pointless Streetsign Erection Committee has inspected this wall and found it wanting. The old sign didn't meet stringent inclusivity guidelines and has therefore been removed, to be replaced by one of the council's ultra-new 21st century designs. The new lettering's a bit spindly, and the gleaming white background probably won't survive a winter of lager abuse without creaming up a bit, but it's a big improvement on the old 70s atrocity.
And this signage upgrade has had a rather wonderful side-effect. An original mid 19th century street sign has been magically revealed from its hiding place, and it's a bit of a masterpiece [photo]. Look at that expert chisel work - every character chipped to perfection and not a letter out of place. The surrounding brickwork may now be cracking up, but there's still more craftsmanship on display here than on all the other street signs down Bow Road put together. A shame then that the 150-year-old sign has had to be painted black in an attempt to obscure its heritage features from the eyes of passers-by, because time has moved on since this wall was first erected. Mornington Road has somehow become Mornington Grove, a name change probably enforced by the Tower Hamlets Post-war Street Renaming Committee. The new name hints at a rural lane between orchards and smallholdings, which is what the road used to be, and not a poky backwater street where locals now dump unwanted sofas. The old carved sign may be lovely, but post-war street renaming means it's also outdated, misleading and extinct. I bet it won't be too long before some officious workman comes along and boards over it again, blocking it from view, because councils have "an obligation" not to mislead the travelling public. Which would be a great shame, because this is a rare streetscape jewel in an age of increasingly bland conformity.
100 things I love about London
I SPY LONDON
London is a city of building sites, forever changing, forever evolving. Old housing is replaced by new, decaying warehouses become eco-friendly community centres and unloved office blocks are reborn as dazzling glass towers. The 
1964-69: The first black and white globe, on a black or white background 
When was the last time you saw a packet of Omo washing powder? Or a tin of Libby's evaporated milk? Or a Pink Panther candy bar? Once these items were commonplace in shops and cupboards across the country, but no more. 
After the chronological displays comes a special section detailing the evolution of individual brands. Subtle changes are evident when you're able to view several decades of development on a single shelf. Johnson's Baby Powder and Robinson's Lemon Barley Water, for example have evolved almost constantly over the past century but still retain elements of their original design. Where else could you play "spot the difference" with a row of 
There's a new sight on the ever-fascinating streets of Tower Hamlets. Not litter bins, because we've had those for ages, but the 
If like me you're a Londoner who finds it hard to resist the allure of Christmas shopping, you'll be delighted to hear that it's now possible to indulge your retail obsession all year round. Imagine my delight recently to discover an exclusive emporium close to London Bridge station devoted entirely to the sale of quality festive products. The Christmas Shop at Hay's Galleria is an Aladdin's Cave of yuletide essentials, from half-size Santas to pet-friendly crackers, and from glitter-dipped snowflakes to acrylic nativity treetrim. With personal service here never less than exemplary, SE1's shoppers are a-buzz with seasonal excitement. Meanwhile, on the other side of town, grateful shoppers are already flocking to Harrods' Christmas World department. This collection of quality decorations and top-notch gifts never fails to excite even the most exclusive shopper. Nobody could resist a green-jacketed Alexander bear or a toy-soldier shaped nutcracker, each an assured Christmas essential. And no child will ever forget the magic of a Father Christmas Breakfast Experience in the Georgian restaurant, not once you've forked out £35 for the privilege. Who said money can't buy you love?
With just three months to go until Christmas, no doubt your thoughts have already turned to preparing for the festive season. So much to do, so little time. Gifts to buy, parties to plan, food to prepare, sparkly decorations to purchase... the list goes on and on.
